You follow your friend to a crowded room with many people inside. They are eating the food they brought from home, or the food they acquired from this place called a "cafeteria."
You curiously look around as your friend drags you into some sort of line. At the front of the line, you can see someone a bit taller than you being given something probably edible.
Slop. There, an old woman with a scoop. She yells "full scoop" or "half scoop" when giving these unknown creatures whatever that stuff is. You excitedly turn to your friend and ask him what is going on. He has a small wallet in his hands, counting something. He probably heard you the first time you asked, but you decide to ask again.
Your friend: "We gon be eating that shi. But yk, if u want, u can treat me to something better. That fatass over there gives u food depending on how cool u r."
You get food scaled on how cool you are? That sounds funny. Wouldn't you want to know how cool you are? That thought alone makes you excited. You wait patiently while your friend groans and complains about the food. You feel bad and ask your friend how you could treat him to something better.
Your friend: "Money. U prolly have the money, yh? Cuz lowk u told me u live in dat massive house on top of the hill, yh? Js for ts once, gng :sob:"
You feel bad and search your pockets for this thing called "money," but all you can find is a paper with the number "100" written on both sides. You tell your friend you couldn't find any money, and show him the only thing you found.
Your friend stares at it silently; he doesn't look fazed at all.
Your friend: "Oh nice, ty. Ts will do. I'll c u in class, bye."
He accepts the small piece of paper, and after walking away with slow steps, he suddenly dashes off. You, still bursting with curiosity and excitement, wait patiently in line for the food. You want to know how cool you are too, so it's a win-win situation. Your friend gave up his spot in line for you. What a pickle! Make sure to thank him later, okay?
After about fifteen minutes, you reach your destination. There, in front of you, lies a pot of gray slop. You are already drooling, so you wipe your mouth with your sleeve. The woman looks you in the eye. She can see the shine in your eyes. You stare back. Then she yells, "Half scoop for city girl!"
Why? Why would she say that? You would get the full amount of that stuff if it were a "full scoop," but she said half scoop, so you'll only be getting half of it. That's terrible. Before you walk away in disappointment, the old woman stops you.
Old woman: "Wait a sec... aren't you the little gremlin who stabbed the math teacher with a pen?" She laughs. "I hate that man. Here you go, full scoop—no, double scoop!"
You wanted to ask her what is she talking about but... she slaps two scoops of that slop onto your plate. Only those who are cool enough are granted "two scoops," and they can't be found easily in this place. You declare yourself as the "gremlin who stabbed the math teacher". Congratulations. It's time to dig in. As you walk away with a full plate, you see your friend in the distance sitting alone.
You decide to sit at the same table with him so he won't feel lonely. As you set down your plate, he looks at it with worry in his eyes. He instinctively pulls his plate away from yours so whatever is on your plate won't fall straight into his meal. As you dig in with your spoon ready to eat, your friend looks at you as if trying to warn you not to eat it. You found the "food" before you hilarious, you probably wouldn't mind having stomach ache. It could be worse. That thought alone makes you laugh.
Your friend: "Son, tf is ur problem, y would u eat that shi? U could get urself the same meal I have, yk? Tbh that thing lowk looks like concrete, on my mama."
You: "I was curious to taste it and to know how cool I am."
Your friend doesn't say anything else and continues eating his meal. The way he is speaking makes you smile. While you two are eating quietly, the whole building screams again. You cover your ears while your friend slams his fist on the table and stands up with a loud sigh.
Your friend: "Break time is over. Let's go back to class."