There was no one left on this continent whom he still held dear. Everyone had their own fate, and Lin Yuhui had no regrets about the choices he had made in life. He understood that, in those circumstances, he couldn't have done any better; in a difficult quest, simply holding on to one's true heart already made one a winner in life. As for those small disappointments and regrets, they were all part of the journey's scenery, an imperfectly perfect experience. There was truly no need to go back and correct anything, just like retaking the same exam for a higher score — it would be meaningless. Leaving this land of heartbreak, he once again set out for the other side of the ocean, though he knew not why.
这块大陆上已经没有什么他可牵挂的人了,每个人都有他自己的命运,而林语晖也无悔于自己的人生选择,他理解在那种状态下自己也无法做得更好,艰难的求索中,能守住本心就已经是人生赢家了.至于那些小的不圆满和缺憾,那些都是人生旅程的风景,是不完美的完美体验,真的没有必要再纠正重来一次,就如同重复参加一个相同的考试,获得更高的得分,没有意义.离开这个伤心之地,再次奔往大洋彼岸,不知为何.
But this time he didn't want to cause himself more trouble by heading to a military base in the desert. Instead, he would fulfill the dream he couldn't realize while alive — to see the world.
但是这一次他不想再给自己找麻烦去沙漠里的军事基地了,还是去实现自己活着的时候没能实现的去看世界吧.
Raising his position to broaden his field of view, he discovered a brightly lit metropolis in the night. American metropolises were different from Chinese ones. Although they sprawled over large areas, the residential districts, especially the suburbs, were all low-rise buildings — detached houses or row houses spread out in patches, giving a monotonous and somewhat barren impression.
升高位置扩展自己的视野范围,他发现了一个夜色中的一个灯火通明的大都市.美国的大都市和中国的不同,美国的虽然占地面积大,但是住宅区,尤其是市郊,都是低层建筑,独栋或者排房,成片坐落,以至于看起来单调贫瘠的感觉.
Indeed, these suburban homes looked a bit shabby. Perhaps it was a place where the poor gathered. Yet even if the houses were run-down, the dim, gentle light shining from the windows in the deep night still gave a sense of home's warmth.
也是啊,市郊这一片住宅确实看起来有些破落,也许是穷人聚居的地方吧,只是即便房屋破旧,沉沉夜色中那窗口映出的幽幽微光,依然让人感到家的温暖.
For Lin Yuhui, physical matter was no longer solid. Walls, doors, bodies — he could see through them and pass through them. Down below, in a cozy little home, a mother was preparing dinner while a young boy listened to the radio. 2063 — not many people still listened to the radio in this era. Lin Yuhui tuned in: it was an ordinary guitar ballad, and it sounded like the performer was a teenager too.
对于林语晖来说,实体物质已经不再是实体了,墙,门,身体,他可以看穿,也可以穿过.下面温馨的小家庭里,妈妈在准备晚餐,小男孩在听广播.2063,这个年代还在听广播的人可不多.林语晖留意听了一下,是一般的吉他弹唱,好像表演者也是青少年.
Where the heart willed, the body followed. The moment he wondered who was performing, his point of view shifted to another household. It turned out to be a few kids running their own podcast from their basement — community celebrities, one might say. The band had a keyboardist, a drummer, and a guitarist who was also the lead singer. Cheerful but a bit raw, they clearly hadn't found a bassist yet.
心之所往,身之所及,就在他想是谁在表演时,他的视角已经到了另一个家庭,原来是几个孩子在自家地下室在运营自己的播客,应该算是社区明星了,乐队里有键盘手,鼓手,主唱是吉他手.欢快但略显稚嫩,显然他们还没找到贝斯手.
Leaving the somewhat rowdy kids behind, Lin Yuhui drifted aimlessly through the neighborhood. Different families lived more or less the same lives, nothing special, all very ordinary. At that moment he felt a trace of loneliness and sorrow. Looking down, he saw an old woman alone in her house; only her bedroom held a dim light in the entire home. Drawing closer, he saw her leaning against the headboard, leafing through a family album she had taken from the nightstand. He couldn't quite make out the people in the photos, but he could sense that she was looking at pictures of her childhood with her parents, because she was reminiscing about the happy times back then — sunny beaches, palm trees swaying in the wind. Maybe she had come from the Los Angeles coast. Ah, the sea had swallowed the West Coast and her childhood along with it. It seemed her parents were no longer around. Could it be that she had no children?
离开这群有些喧嚣的小朋友,林语晖漫无目的地在这片社区中游荡,不同的人家过着差不多相同的生活,没有很特别的,都很普通.这时他感到了一丝孤单与悲伤,向下望去,一个老妇人独自在家,整栋房子只有她的卧室里亮着暗淡的灯光.凑近观察,原来她正靠在床头,翻看着从床头柜里拿出来的家庭相册,再看看相册里的人,不太清楚是谁,但是他能感觉到这个老妇人浏览的是她儿时与自己父母的照片,因为她正在回忆当年的快乐时光,充满阳光的沙滩,迎风飘摆的棕榈树,或许她是洛杉矶海岸那边过来的啊.唉,大海淹没了西海岸也淹没了她的童年.看起来她的父母已经不在了,难道她就没有孩子吗?
At that thought, he teleported again. Why was it that every thought he had now had to be acted upon instantly? Lin Yuhui felt a bit baffled. He didn't really understand his current state. After all, he had never died before, and he didn't remember what it was like after death last time. It seemed he really needed time to get used to this. At the very least, could he stop acting on every single thought? Could he install some kind of switch for himself? If he didn't want to move, he wouldn't go. Ah — that switch was gone. His body was gone.
想到这,自己又瞬移了,怎么现在自己的每一个想法都要马上付诸实施吗?林语晖有些纳闷,他对现在的状况也搞不太清楚,毕竟自己也从来没死过,也不记得之前死了以后什么样,看来还真的需要时间来适应,至少不要想到一点什么就马上付诸行动吧?能不能给自己上个开关呢?不想行动就不走,哎,原来那个开关没了,身体没了.
Before him he found himself in another home, with the same architectural layout and style, similarly a bit run-down, and it felt not far away. A middle-aged woman was quarreling with her rebellious teenage son. The boy slammed the door and left, leaving her alone in the room, crying.
眼前自己到了另一个家中,同样的建筑布局风格,同样有些破旧,感觉距离并不远.只见一位中年女士正在和她的叛逆期儿子吵架,她的儿子摔门离去,只剩下她在房间里哭泣.
Lin Yuhui drew closer and had the feeling that she was the old woman's daughter, and in his mind — though he no longer had a mind — the image of the old woman sitting on her bed looking at the album resurfaced. Actually, he had no brain anymore. What he called "thinking" seemed to be nothing more than dragging that scene into the space where his head used to be.
林语晖凑上去,似乎感觉她就是那个老妇人的女儿,而自己脑中又想起了她坐在床头看相册的情景.其实自己也没有脑子了,所谓的想,似乎就是把当时的情景拉到了现在这里自己的脑袋部位.
At that moment the middle-aged woman also seemed to recall something. She calmly stood up, walked to the living room, picked up the phone, and dialed a number. It was astonishing that they were still using a corded dial phone, and the phone number was only four digits — apparently only usable within this neighborhood.
而这个中年妇女此刻也似乎想起了什么,平静地站起来走向客厅,拿起了电话拨响了号码.让人惊愕的是他们居然还在使用有线拨号电话,电话号码居然只有四位数,看来也就只能在这片社区使用了.
"Mom, it's Amie," she said, leaning wearily against the wall, swallowing a mouthful of tears and then sniffing.
"Ah, Amie, what's wrong? Did you fight with your son again?" the old woman asked, picking up on it with sharp perceptiveness.
"Yes, no matter what I say, he won't listen. Just now he again…"
"Oh, Samuel is a good boy. Let me talk to him," came the earnest reply from the other end.
"Ha, yes — I was just thinking of visiting you soon," the daughter said, her tears turning into a smile.
They made up, yet it stirred the sadness in Lin Yuhui's heart. He tuned out their conversation and drifted alone into the high sky. Between the cold, starry sky and the myriad lights of countless homes, there seemed to be no place for him.
"妈妈,我是阿米,"说着,她疲惫地把身体靠在了墙边,说完咽了一口刚才的泪水,抽了抽鼻子,
"啊,阿米啊,怎么了,又跟你儿子吵架了?"老太太很细致地察觉到了什么,
"是啊,我说什么他都听不进去,刚刚又..."
"哦,塞缪尔是个好孩子,让他来和我谈谈,"电话那边很认真地说,
"哈,是啊,我正想抽空去看看你,"女儿说着,破涕为笑,
她们好了,却又勾起了林语晖内心的悲伤,他屏蔽了她们的对话,独自飘向高空,冷清的星空与万家灯火之间,似乎没有自己的容身之处.
Feeling the taste of the wind in the city's night sky gently brushing his weary form, it seemed he had become one with its soft coolness. That simple, pure acceptance — never demanding your love, never rejecting anyone — was so effortless that Lin Yuhui felt a lightness he had never known before. He could relax his body and his mind, stretching out to experience this world, this world free of emotional entanglements.
感受着都市夜空中风的味道,轻轻拂过自己疲惫的身躯,似乎自己已经与这柔软与清凉融为了一体.简单纯粹的接纳,从不需要你爱它,也不会决绝任何人,简单到让林语晖感受到了从所未有的轻松,可以放松自己的身体,心境,伸展体会这个世界,体会这个没有感情纷扰的这个世界.
Stretching out his limbs and lying upon the city lights while gazing at the starry sky, he could feel the sparse traffic on the roads like ants crawling across his back, but he no longer cared what the people inside those cars were thinking. He could also feel the gentle light from apartment windows filtering through his arms, and he no longer wished to ask whether their lives were good or not.
望着星空伸展四肢躺在城市灯光之上,他可以感觉到道路上稀疏往来的车辆,好像蚂蚁爬过自己的背,但是不再关心车里的人在想什么,他也能感觉到公寓楼里的灯光温润透过自己的臂膀,也不想过问他们的生活好不好.
In the silence, he sensed that he could even transcend the present time, walking the same street through different seasons — watching leaves fall in the wind, seeing lamplight in the rain, and witnessing the changes in buildings along the road as the years passed. If a moment captivated him, he could hold his breath and linger in that slice of time, spending whole days watching the sunrise illuminate the green trees, then the sunset glow adorning the horizon. There was the fierce midday sun blazing overhead and scorching the earth, and the cool evening breeze as lights from homes faintly lit the street in front of their doors through the windows.
静默中,他感觉似乎还能超越现在的时间,在不同的季节走过同一条街道,看风中的落叶,看雨中的灯火,也能看见岁月变迁沿街建筑的变化.如果有一刻让他留恋,他何以屏住呼吸,留在那段时光里,一整天一整天地看着日出阳光照耀绿树,再到日落晚霞映衬天边.有正午头顶艳阳酣烈,炙烤大地,也有晚风清凉,住家灯光透过窗子依稀照亮门前街道.
Inadvertently he looked again into the depths of the starry sky and inevitably thought of her. She had said she wouldn't leave soon. Yes, she didn't — but he, even after losing his body, still never got to see her. Though deep down he knew he might not be right for her, might not bring her happiness, and might not be able to help her much, there remained a persistent obsession in his heart: a desire to quietly stay by her side, forever.
无意中他又望向星空深处,不可避免地又想到了她.她说过不会很快离开,是的,她没有,可是自己直到失去了身体也没能等到她.虽然自己的内心中也清楚,未必适合她,未必能给她快乐,也不太能够帮助到她,但是却始终心中那一分执念,想要默默地陪伴在她的身边,直到永远.
And now, had the time come to let go and quietly slip away? Why must a wish for everlasting togetherness be so hard?
而如今,是否已经到了应该放手,让自己悄然离去的时刻.为什么天长地久的心愿要那么难?
(Translated by DeepSeek)