I lost all my memories, am I still myself?
我没有了我的记忆,我还是我吗?
Li Haojun stood by the floor-to-ceiling window in the living room gazing into the courtyard, his face faintly reflected on the glass pane with a pair of deep and focused eyes.
李皓珺站在客厅落地窗前,望着院落,玻璃窗淡淡映出他的脸颊,一双眼睛深邃而专注.
The fine drizzle since early morning had soaked every corner of the small courtyard. The dark blue brick walls, rain-dripping plantains at wall corners and moss spreading over the soil were all drenched by the early morning drizzle. Clear rainwater slowly flowed across the ground blue bricks and crept up to the floor-to-ceiling windows, whose entire glass surface was shrouded under the gray rainy sky; through the glass, the silhouette of Li Haojun standing by the window could be vaguely seen.
一早起来的细雨已经润湿了小小庭院的每一个角落.深色的青砖墙,墙角的滴雨芭蕉,泥土上泛起的青苔,一切都被这清晨的细雨浸润了.浸润了地面的青砖,清澈的雨水缓缓漫过落地窗前,而落地窗整块的玻璃则被灰蒙蒙的,细雨天空浸润着,透过玻璃依稀李皓珺的身影,站在窗前.
The inner room door swung open and Qin Wenjing stepped out. Li Haojun caught sight of her reflection on the window glass; clad in a dark green silk camisole nightgown, she resembled the plantain leaves amid the morning rain, and the stark contrast set off her fair skin all the more.
里屋的门一开,覃文静走了出来,李皓珺从玻璃窗的反射中看到她,身着墨绿色丝绸吊带睡衣,就像今早雨中的芭蕉叶,而这凝重的对比更显出她白皙的肌肤.
Li Haojun turned around and greeted her without further eye contact.
李皓珺转身打了个招呼,没有更多目光接触.
"Did you sleep well last night?" Qin Wenjing asked while tidying her hair with both hands and tying it into a simple single ponytail.
"昨晚睡好了吗?"覃文静问,一边双手整理头发,简单绑了个单马尾.
Li Haojun forced a bitter smile and replied, "I cannot even recall what a good night's sleep feels like."
李皓珺只好惨笑道,"我也不记得好是什么样啊."
Qin Wenjing merely smiled with pressed lips and turned to walk away, saying, "Wait a moment, I will make breakfast." Li Haojun had intended to follow behind and lend a hand, yet the sight of her fair shoulders and graceful waistline made him feel awkward. He veered aside to the dining room next to the kitchen, silently arranged the tables and chairs and sat down to wait.
覃文静只是抿嘴而一笑,转身边走边说,你等一下,我去做点早餐.李皓珺本来跟在后面想帮忙打个下手什么的,可是看着覃文静的背影,白皙的肩背,婀娜的腰肢,不觉有些尴尬,于是便往旁边一拐,到厨房边的餐厅,默默摆好桌椅,坐下等着.
The upper partition separating the dining room from the kitchen was carved with hollow wooden decorative patterns. Qin Wenjing had made use of some compartments to place red wine bottles, tea canisters and assorted seasonings, suggesting she had lived in this house for quite a while. Li Haojun scanned every detail of the room, attempting to dig up traces of his forgotten past, yet his gaze kept drifting to her busy back. The stretch of the camisole, the soft glossy silk fabric and her swaying ponytail that alternately fell over her shoulders, covered her cheeks or shifted as she turned her head; her indistinct figure behind the partition was as blurred as his fragmented memories of her.
餐厅与厨房隔断的上部分是镂空的木制装饰花纹,也有些位置被覃文静利用了,平放的红酒,茶叶罐,各种调料,看来在这个家生活有一段时间了.李皓珺巡视着房间的这些细节,试图找到自己曾经的记忆的痕迹,不过吸引他视线的还是覃文静忙碌的背影,吊带的张弛,丝绸的柔软与光泽,那随着她动作晃动的单马尾,时而搭在肩头时而挡住脸颊,时而因她扭头而牵动,,,透过隔断她恍惚的背影,如同他对她的记忆一样恍惚.
Shortly afterward, Qin Wenjing set a plate of hamburgers with beef and butter before Li Haojun, then fetched a bowl of oatmeal porridge, fried eggs and a glass of milk for herself.
没一会儿工夫覃文静端盘汉堡放在李皓珺面前,有牛肉,黄油.而自己回身端来燕麦粥和煎鸡蛋,外加一杯牛奶.
"Thank you," Li Haojun said once Qin Wenjing took her seat.
"谢谢,"等覃文静坐下,李皓珺谢道.
"Help yourself, don't stand on ceremony." Qin Wenjing tugged the hem of her nightgown and sat opposite him. The dining table was small. While the hamburgers smelled appetizing, the rich aroma of milk drifted toward Li Haojun, prompting him to glance at the food across the table.
"吃吧,别客气."覃文静用手搂了一下睡衣下摆坐在了对面.餐桌不大,虽然汉堡味道不错,但是牛奶的香味儿也飘进了李皓珺的鼻子,不由得他瞟了一眼对面的美食.
Qin Wenjing gently stirred the still steaming porridge with a spoon and said calmly, "You cannot drink milk in the morning; you are lactose intolerant," her eyes fixed steadily on Li Haojun's.
覃文静用汤勺轻轻搅拌着粥,还有点烫.淡淡的说,"你早上不能喝牛奶,乳糖不耐受,"然后平静的注视着李皓珺的眼睛.
"I'm grateful for all your care over this time," with no other words to utter, for his memories only started from this place, he trailed off, "I..."
"谢谢你一直以来对我的照料,"还能说什么呢,他的记忆只是从这里才开始,"我...,"
"No need to be so formal," the corner of Qin Wenjing's mouth twitched upward in an aborted smile before fading away. She lowered her eyes to the stirring spoon and added, "We are only lovers, not legally married."
"不用这么客气,"覃文静的嘴角轻挑了一下,想笑随后却又冻结了,垂眼看着搅拌的汤勺,"你我只是情侣关系,并没有结婚."
"But with me in such a state, you..."
"只是我这样,你...,"
"Don't think that way. You sacrificed a great deal for me in the past..." Qin Wenjing met his eyes and continued, "Once you ran into a young lady at the market who fit your ideal type: oval face, fair skin, a quiet melancholy look with natural shadowed eyelids and a slender figure. You passed beside her yet turned back to gaze at her departing silhouette, convinced she was a decent woman. Unexpectedly she spun around after several steps, filled with hesitation, but you forced yourself to walk away..."
"别这样,其实之前你为我也付出了很多...,"说着,覃文静又看着李皓珺的眼睛,"有一次你在市场遇到一个女生,她是你喜欢的类型,瓜子脸,皮肤白皙,面容忧郁恬静,有着纯天然的眼影儿,身材也很苗条.你和她擦肩而过,但是你转身还想再看一眼她的背影,因为你觉得她是个正经女人.然而没想到她走过几步之后也转过身来,但是有些犹豫.而你狠心离开了...",
"Everything I do for you now is entirely of my own free will..."
"所以我现在所做的,都是我心甘情愿..."
At a loss for words, Li Haojun gently wrapped his palm around her left hand resting on the table; her fingertips felt slightly cold.
李皓珺不知道该说什么,只好轻轻把她放在桌上的左手握入掌心,手指有点凉.
After a moment, Qin Wenjing slowly pulled her hand free.
过了一会儿,覃文静轻轻抽出她的手,
"Eat your meal. We have errands to run outside today and you're coming with me."
"吃吧,今天还得出去办点事情,你和我一起."
(Translated by Doubao)