"I'm telling you it's okay; my parents are chill."
"From all the rules and the other stuff you were telling me, I am starting to think otherwise," Ryder said, and I started laughing.
We were packing all of our stuff into one little suitcase because we were only going to spend a day there, or that was the plan, at least.
Ryder was really good at packing, so he had everything laid out on the bed while I sat on it, and he folded stuff.
I asked him if he wanted help, and he told me to "sit my dumb ass down and stop throwing shit where it doesn't belong."
So I am sitting down, talking to him. "It's only one day; if anything happens, genuinely tell me, and we can leave," I said.
He gave me a look. "Will we actually leave, or are you just saying that?"
"Actually. Just tell me, and we will pack everything up and leave," I said, and he nodded, continuing with folding.
Fuck, it's been a while since I went home.
I grabbed my phone and started looking through my camera roll.
I looked up at Ryder, and I smiled.
He even looked cute while folding clothes.
I flipped back to the camera side, and I snapped 3 photos.
I looked through my camera roll, clicked on the second one, and set it as my lock screen.
I smiled.
I thought it was cute. I thought HE was cute.
My home screen was still Isabella and Leo, and my lock screen had been a mountain for a while now, so why not change it?
I am going to pretend like it's to prove to my family that we are real, but it is really for myself, to convince myself that what we have is real.
That…I. God, I don't know. I guess I need something to look at when he's not there, when I need him.
I kept smiling like an idiot as I looked for pictures of my family.
"I vaguely remember seeing your parents in your office, but can you show me pictures?" he asked as I watched him grab shoes for me.
"I'm looking for pictures of all of my family right now. I do not have any of my parents, but I think I have some pictures of my siblings," I said and turned the camera around to show Ryder. "Yeah, there are four of them, so with me, that is five kids."
"God damn. Why do you never talk about them?" Ryder added.
I shrugged. "I don't know; we have weird age gaps, and one of my siblings was born when I was in college, so that's a little awkward, but we are still close. I just moved out, so." I felt awkward talking about them, and I don't know why.
Probably because I don't really visit a lot and have my own life and a daughter.
God, now I feel bad.
"Alessandro is my first brother? Wait, I don't know, he is the second child, and we have a 10-year age gap, so I was 10 when he was born. And he is my parents' golden child; he's fluent in Korean and Italian, and my parents love him to death. He is a successful corporate lawyer, and he and his fiancée or wife, I don't really know, are happy," I said, flipping through the couple of photos I had of him.
"Oh my god, he's handsome," Ryder said, getting closer to the phone and taking it from me.
"Hey, you're my fiancé."
He continued to look at the phone and then at me. "He's like the less bad boy, less wrinkled version of you."
"I..I'm at a loss for words," I said.
"How tall is he?"
"6'2."
"Eh, you're hotter," he said, handing me my phone back, and I started laughing.
"Only because I'm taller?"
"And more wrinkly and a bad boy and mine, so you're hotter," he said, and went back to folding clothes as a smile grew on my face as I went back to scrolling.
'Mine.'
I like it when he is possessive. It makes me happy.
"Okay, next up is Giulia, aka Jules, who is one of my sisters, and she's 26. She's fluent in Korean; she's 6'0 and lowkey the female version of me. She's lesbian and gives our dad the middle finger constantly. And I think she's in a long-term relationship with some chef girl, and they recently moved in together. We butt heads a lot because she knows how to get on people's fucking nerves. She's an interior designer, and she is blunt as fuck, even more than me, so be prepared," I said and showed Ryder her picture.
"She is the female version of you," he said, and gave the picture this weird look.
"Don't say anything."
"I'm not, I'm not," he said, laughing, and then he started digging through my underwear drawer.
Oh shit, speaking of underwear. "Where are your pants?" I asked.
He turned around with a smile and flung underwear at me.
"I have underwear on," he beamed, then put the other ones he had pulled out back into the suitcase.
"You look good," I said, and he just shook his head.
"Tell me more about your siblings and stop looking at my ass," Ryder said as he walked around the room picking up shit and putting it in the suitcase.
"Sorry, sorry. Uh, Luca is next. He's 20, 5'11, and doesn't speak Korean or Italian like me. He is very laidback and is very chill. Of course, we do have 18 years in between us, but I like him. He's studying computer science in college and is into gaming and coding. He's pretty quiet and introverted, but we are tight," I said and flipped the camera around.
"Oh, he's cute; he doesn't look like any of you, but he is cute," Ryder said, and I nodded.
"Last is Min-seo; my mom named her and Luca, and then my dad named me, Sandro, and Guilia. She's 17 and is 6'3, which is insane. She is fluent in Korean and decided to learn Italian just to mess with our dad. She is the youngest, and she's very awkward but cool. She is a high school senior and very good at volleyball. I think she got signed to a D1 college, but I can't remember the name. She is very sweet, and my father goes along with anything she says. She loves to mess with Luca and me, and I have no idea why, but she's our baby," I said, showing him the rest of my pictures.
"Holy fuck, she is tall."
"Yeah, I don't know what my parents fed her."
"Was your dad trying to get a whole basketball team?" Ryder asked, and I started laughing.
"Apparently."
I sighed.
I guess it would be fun to see my family after such a long time and just take a break from everything.
But fuck, I can't remember what I needed to tell Ryder about my dad.
I had been thinking about it all night, but I still can't remember it.
Fuck. Uh. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever.
"Is Isabella coming with us?"
"We will find out right now. ISA!!"
No response.
"ISABELLA!" I screamed louder.
"COME HERE, PLEASE!"
After a few moments, she walked in, and she looked very annoyed.
But I watched as her face lit up when she saw Ryder next to me.
"Yes, father?"
"Don't, yes, father me, what are you doing right now?"
"Homework?"
"Can you pack a bag? We are going to Grandma and Grandpa's house."
I watched her shoulders drop, and she rolled her eyes and let out a long sigh. "Bruh, I have homework to do."
"You never see your grandparents; it's literally for a day; go pack your fucking bag," I said, and I felt myself getting frustrated.
"Dad, I literally have stuff to do, please."
"I don't fucking care; go pack your shit!" I yelled, pointing at her. "Your grandparents want to see you."
"Why so they can bring up mom?"
I rolled my eyes. "Don't bring her into this right now. GO PACK YOUR FUCKING BAG!"
"Dominic." I turned to Ryder and raised an eyebrow. "Don't yell at her."
I sighed. "She's my daughter, I don't…"
"Don't yell at her; she said she doesn't want to go, and she has homework to do; it's one day; just let her stay home," Ryder said firmly.
'Yeah, Dad," Isabella added.
I sighed.
"Fine, whatever; stay here," I said, trying to calm myself down.
Isabella smiled at Ryder and went to hug him. "Don't hug me; your dad was the one who said yes."
"He doesn't deserve it because he was yelling at me," Isabella said, looking at me like I was a monster as she held Ryder.
"I know I hate it when he yells, too," Ryder said.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I said, putting my hands up.
"Good, you should be," Ryder said, letting go of Isabella. "Go get your essay done so that you can relax."
Isabella nodded, and just like that, she was gone.
Then I watched Ryder shut the suitcase and lug it by the door of my bedroom. Then he walked back over to the bed, pulled his stuff out from under the bed, and took off his shirt.
He traded it for a black shirt, then put on jeans.
He sighed as he stood there.
"What?"
"My jeans," he said with a pout.
"What about them?" I asked, getting closer to him.
He turned around with a sad look on his face.
"They look fine."
"Of course, you would think that. These jeans are supposed to be baggy, but now look at them," he said and sat down on the bed with a sad look on his face.
I sighed and got in front of him.
"You look fine," I said, and he continued to give me this sad look.
"You look good," I said.
"You just said I look fine; which one is it?"
"Stop pouting, stand up, and I'll tell you," I said, and I helped him to his feet. "Stop sucking in your lips like you're a child," I said sternly.
He stopped.
"Now. You look good. Get out of your own head and stop convincing yourself otherwise. Who cares if you have a stomach? We all do. I don't care. If any of my family members tell you otherwise, let me know, and I will handle them ALL. You look good, and you are healthy; that's all that matters," I said, and he started hugging me.
I rubbed his back.
"Is that what you needed to hear?"
"Hmh," he said, nodding.
I closed my eyes and just held him.
I can't.
I can't look. I can't.
He pulled back.
Thank god.
"Okay," he buttoned his jeans.
"Can I pick out your outfit?" he asked.
Cutie. "Of course you can," I said, and I followed him over to my closet.
"As much as I love you shirtless and your sexy, sexy arm. I think we should go with a very classy, very rich look."
"I don't know what that means, but I trust you," I said, sitting on the bed, and he nodded.
"As you should."
He grabbed some shit out of my closet and threw it at me.
Then he walked over to my dish with all my jewelry in it and looked through it. "Do you have anything else besides these flashy ass rings?" he asked as I changed.
"Yeah, it's next to the watch."
"Oh shit. The watch is nice too, let's add that," he said and handed them both to me.
I put everything on, and he looked very pleased. "Are we ready to go now?"
He nodded with a smile.
We then made our way downstairs. I ran to put the suitcase in the car, and now Ryder and I were by the door trying to leave, but we were getting lectured.
"No promises, we won't have sex on your bed," Matteo said, butting in.
"You are making me worried," I said.
"Dude, it's fine, just go. I'm here, I won't let anything happen to your family," Matteo said. He was in the living room and didn't bother getting off the couch.
For some weird reason, that eased my tension, eased my worry, eased the fact that I would be without my daughter for a day.
"Dad, just go and don't let any of us stop you from going," Isabella said.
I hugged her. "Okay, baby, we are leaving."
"Good, you are wasting gas," Matteo said, not looking up from the TV.
I hugged Leo, and I watched Ryder hug Isabella and whisper something to her.
I smiled.
"Doesn't it feel good to be soft?"
I pulled back and gave him a weird look. "I am not soft," I said, laughing.
"You so are, and that's okay. You're soft for the right person; now don't lose it," he said, and he started to push Ryder and me out the door. "Go, go, hurry before your parents get mad at you, Dom."
"Okay, okay, we are leaving; make sure you lock the door, and if you want anything, text me, and I'll send you money," I said, and he nodded.
"Now go!" Leo said.
Go.
That sounds nice.
Go away from here.
Even if it's just for a day.
Putting the mafia life on pause. For him. For my family. Just this once.