It was currently family affair week before Dominic, Matteo, and Leo left for that weird convention, so we have been doing so much this entire week, the baking being the very tip of the iceberg.
I mean, it felt so good for us all to be doing this, but I know why…we were doing it.
Just in case.
I gulped.
Just in case, the convection goes bad, but…I don't wanna think about that.
I don't NEED to think about that.
Everything will be fine.
I know it will.
I sighed, pushing the feeling down, and started smiling again.
Let me be happy.
"I am not getting in the water," Dominic said.
We were all outside in the backyard, trying to teach this grown-ass man how to swim.
"Dominic, you are 38, and do not know how to swim. That doesn't concern you at all?"
"No, why would it?" Dominic asked Leo, who rolled his eyes.
Isabella and Leo were already in the pool, swimming around, and Matteo was sitting on one of the chairs outside.
"Ryder's going to leave you and find a man who can actually swm," Matteo said.
"Why are we lying on my name right now?" I asked.
"To get your grown ass fiancé into this fucking pool," Matto said, laughing, and Dominic started pouting.
I grabbed his hand. "Don't pout, baby, you are too old to be doing that," I said, hugging him.
"Are you going to get in the water?"
"Yeah, I have my cast wrapped and all of that."
"Are you gonna take your shirt off?"
I nodded.
"I'm in."
I started laughing. "Right, okay, let's put sunscreen on you then," I said, and he nodded.
"Daddy, are you getting in the water?" Isabella asked with an excited look on her face.
"Yes, he is," I said, and Dominic nodded nervously.
"I, uh. I don't think my arm can get wet," He said, holding his robotic arm up.
I rolled my eyes. "Dominic, you take a shower every day, stop being a weirdo," I said, pulling off his shirt for him.
Oh, this sexy ass.
"What?" he asked me with a flirty smile.
I pulled him closer to me, and I whispered, "You are lucky that we are outside."
I pushed him back with a smile, grabbed some sunscreen, and started to lather my grown ass man up, putting it everywhere and pushing him every which way to make sure he didn't burn.
"Baby, baby, I think I'm good," he said, laughing.
"Skin cancer is real, baby, and you are so pale, you need more," I said, moving up to his face and rubbing it on him like he was a child.
"Okay, you are good now," I said, taking off my shirt.
"Do you want help with your sunscreen?" He asked, smiling at me.
"I got it," I said as I started to put it everywhere.
"Damn shame," Dominic said as he gave me a flirty smile.
After I put on my sunscreen, I announced. "Okay, pool time."
"Baby," Dominic said, and I started to walk toward the pool.
I grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the water. "I can't, I can't," he said as he started shaking his head. "What if I drown?"
"You are too big to drown," I said and started to walk closer towards the water.
He stopped.
"Dominic, I am not going to play with you right now. I don't know why you are scared, but you need to calm down. You are not going to drown; we are all right here. All you need to do is stand up, do you hear me?"
Dominic nodded, and I started to walk him into the water until it reached about his mid-torso.
"See, all you need to do is stay right here."
Dominic gave me a mortified look. "This is the most scared I have ever been in my entire life. What if I drown?"
"Stop asking me that and come help me, I don't wanna get my cast wet," I said. It was wrapped, but I just needed Dominic to stop being afraid.
"Dad, you are a grown man, this is embarrassing," Isabella said, swimming over to her dad.
"I was never taught how to swim," he muttered.
"I know, dude, but you are too old to be this scared," Isabella said as she climbed on her dad's shoulders.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to have some daddy-daughter time, now get away from the edge so I don't bust my head," Isabella said, and Dominic slowly started to walk towards the middle of the pool.
I smiled, walking back over to the steps, and got out.
"Ryder?"
I turned back. "I am going to watch you guys from right here. I am not going anywhere," I said, and I watched as Dominic looked at me nervously.
I didn't want to interrupt daddy-daughter time.
Matteo stood up, "Do you want a towel?"
"Yeah, I was gonna just lie out."
"I'll join you."
Matteo laid towels out for both of us on the cement and sat down.
"Dom's giving me a mean mug right now."
I looked over at him and then smiled. He so was.
"Baby, fix your face," I said, and he gave me a fake smile.
"Dad, at least try to put your head under the water."
"That's not fucking happening," Dominic said.
"Dom, be nice," I called out.
"She's not being nice to me."
I laughed. "You'll live. Isabella, why don't we try one thing at a time? We can try putting his head under the water next time, and then maybe actual swimming, and THEN MAYBE ONE DAY we can go to the deep end!" I said, talking to Dom like he was a child.
Isabella laughed as she stood up on Dominic's shoulders.
He grabbed her feet frantically. "What are you doing?!"
"Trying to do a back flip."
"You're what?! You better not, Isabella, I swear to god…"
She cut her dad off. "I'm not, I'm not, I am just jumping, calm your ass down." And just like that, Isabella jumped into the water away from her dad and swam back over to him.
"Can you reapply sunscreen for me?" Matteo asked, and I nodded.
I reached for the sunscreen, put some on my hands, and started applying it to his back.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine, how about you?" I asked.
"No, like how's the medicine and all that treating you?"
"Terrible, but it's fine," I said back to him.
"When's your next doctor's appointment?"
"In a day or two," I said, and Matteo nodded.
"Do you want me to get your front too or no?"
"I got it," He said, and I nodded.
"How are you and Leo?"
"He still hates me."
"I would too."
"Yep, hard to forgive someone like me," he said, staring at the pool.
I turned my attention to the pool as well and watched Leo, who had been doing laps this entire time.
"Do you still like him, or do you like the idea of him?" I asked. I feel like this was always the question of the hour.
"Both, I like the idea of having someone, well, having him because of what we had, but also I feel the actual feelings coming back, and I feel physically and emotionally attracted to him even after all these years," Matteo mumbled.
"Interesting."
I switched positions to lie on my stomach as I straight-up oogled Dominic. "God, he looks so sexy."
"I know he's probably thinking the same about you," Matteo said.
"You flatter me."
Isabella was currently splashing him as he yelled at her, and it was so funny and so cute.
And those tattoos, and his body with the water. God, I feel like I'm in heat right now.
I took a deep breath.
Let me calm my ass down.
I am also going to count my going into the pool as my physical therapy for the day, because trying to get Dominic to the pool was enough work.
"Ryder, come get my back in," Isabella called out. "I wanna get out, and I don't want my dad to get out."
"Why can't I get out?"
I stood up, guess who is on babysitting duty now?
"Dominic, come catch me, baby," I said.
"What?" He asked, getting closer, and with all the strength I had, I jumped right onto him.
He frantically caught me as I laughed. "Hi, baby," I said with a smile.
"What are you doing?" He asked, still holding me.
"Trying to keep you in the pool as long as possible."
"I'll stay in here all day if you're here."
"Get your gay ass away from me," I said, and he let me go.
He smiled. "What? You look good in your swimsuit."
"Or do you just like me in shorts?"
"That too," he said, and both of us started to laugh.
Then he walked over to me in the water and hugged me. "I am gonna miss you."
"Miss me when?"
"When I am on my trip."
I rolled my eyes. "You are saying that like you are gonna die," I said, and he just smiled.
Okay, NOT reassuring at all.
"I won't die, I can't have someone taking you from me." He looked at me. "Would you get reengaged if I die?"
"Why would you bring this up?"
"Just answer it."
"Despite us being fake-engaged for like a month, I do love you a lot, and I don't really know what I would do with myself if you died."
"That doesn't answer my question," Dominic said in this sexy tone of voice.
"I'd get engaged to Sandro, the less hot version of you."
Dominic gave me this weird look as I started to laugh, "dude, I am joking. I don't know what I would do, and I don't really wanna think about that right now, especially with you and this damn convention coming up."
He rubbed my back. "Right, right, I am sorry, baby. But if I did, I'll make sure to haunt your future husband."
I smiled at the word husband. "I'm sure you will," I said as I kissed his forehead.
After a while of standing in the water and talking about bullshit, we finally got out.
"What do y'all want for dinner?" I asked.
"We can do DoorDash, because I don't want you stressing over cooking right now."
I smiled at Dominic, "Thank you, baby."
"Is everyone fine with BBQ?" Everyone nodded.
"I am gonna get the family thing and a bunch of drinks, so no objections because I am the one paying for it." Right.
After we cleaned everything up in the backyard, Dominic and I headed upstairs.
"Get out, I am going to shower," I said to Dominic, who was sitting on the closed toilet.
"We can shower together."
I rolled my eyes.
I turned on the shower.
"No complaints this time around, I see," Dominic said with a smile.
"You aren't getting anything from me right now, I hope you know."
"Just seeing you naked is enough."
"That somehow feels dirtier than sex," I said, and I turned around as he raised his eyebrows at me.
I took out the French braids that I had in and grabbed shampoo and conditioner. She needed a good wash, I fear.
"I like your hair like that."
"Thank you, but you aren't going to like it in a second when you have to help me wash it," I said, taking off my swimsuit and getting into the shower.
Dom quickly followed. "Just tell me what I have to do, and I can do it."
"Well, start by backing up, I don't wanna feel your dick while I am trying to get clean."
"My bad, my bad," he said, taking one step back and then stepping forward again. Right.
I put shampoo on his hands. "I need you to scrub, like, actually scrub."
He held the shampoo in his hands, looking at me with wide eyes. "Wait, rub it together first, okay, now scrub," I said, and turned around as he started to scrub my hair.
"I need a nice lather, lots of soap."
"What does that mean?"
I turned back and looked at him. "You are pissing me…" My voice went quiet as my eyes dropped.
I quickly looked back up at him. And he raised an eyebrow at me. "I am not expecting sex from you at all right now. I respect your choices, but your nice ass is all in my face, what do you want me to do?"
"You're pathetic."
"I know," he said with a half smile.
"I want you to scrub so it's soapy," I repeated and turned around, trying to ignore Dominic the best I could.
He continued to scrub my hair as I washed my body.
"I'm really proud of you for getting in the water today," I said.
"Thank you!" Dominic said in this cheery voice.
"We are going to keep trying and hopefully get you at least doggy patting one day," I said, and he let out a long breath. "I can't have my man's greatest weakness be swimming," I continued, and I felt him grab my waist and turn me around.
"What are you doing?" I barked at him.
"I like it when you call me your man."
"You're so gay, get your hands off me," I said, pointing at him as he smiled.
He let go. "God forbid I be in love."
My heart warmed. "You are too old to be talking like that."
"Anything else, baby?" He asked, and I must have smacked my head or something, because the way he said it made me feel brand new.
"Nothing, now, you can get out and get that brush I put somewhere."
Dick swinging and all, Dominic got out of somewhere, got my brush, and came back in.
"I am going to brush my hair, you shower while I do that," I said, and he nodded.
"Yes, sir."
I smiled at him as he switched places in the shower. "You have a nice ass."
Dominic turned around and looked at me with a mortified look.
"What?"
"You're gay too," Dominic said.
"The O.G."
Dominic's face turned sour.
"What?" I raised my eyebrow.
"I feel jealous."
"About what?"
He licked the inside of his teeth, and his eyes became unreadable.
Sometimes I forget he's a mafia boss, and not just ANY MAFIA BOSS; he is the top mafia boss in the country.
I feel like when you get close to people and well fall in love, you lose the thing that keeps you alive: the ability to detect fear and danger.
I'm currently naked in the shower with this mafia boss, detangling my hair.
"I should kill those bitches for touching you like that," Dominic said in this low voice.
"Well, I am with you now, daddy-o, no need to worry," I said, hitting him with my foot lightly.
His look was unfazed. "I'm going to kill them."
"Baby, it's fine."
"Yeah, but it's not," he said, pissed. "And I don't like how you are defending those pathetic fuckers." He was seething through his teeth right now.
"I am not defending them; it's just that it's in the past now."
His nostrils flared. "Fine, I'll drop it."
"Good, and they didn't make me gay, Dominic. I have been gay."
"I know." Right, so why would we bring this up in the first place?
"And I doubt that place still exists. I acknowledge they hurt me, and I acknowledge you want to kill them, but it's in the past," I said, talking to him softly and slowly. The easiest way to get to a man, I fear. "And that doesn't make you incompetent or a bad fiancé, it just means you can help me recover and help me be better."
I got out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and started twisting my hair.
Then I put on lotion and walked over to the room. I threw on some boxers, shorts, a t-shirt, and grabbed Dominic some clothes.
"I got you clothes, doll," I said, and Dominic gave me a small smile.
"Thank you."
I walked back into our room as Dominic followed.
"You like a little boy."
I turned around to face him. "Thank you, honey," I said, smiling.
He put his hands on my waist. "A cute little boy, though," he pulled me closer to him.
"I know you didn't mean it, but that came out very creepy."
He blinked slowly at me. "Your eyes are gorgeous."
"It's because they are evil."
"I think they are seductive more than anything," he said and smiled at him.
I kissed him. "I love you, dumb ass."
"I love you too, now let's go eat some good BBQ."
"Of course, of course, I can't wait," I said with a smile.
Small moments like these that don't seem to matter in the long run.
Small moments like these mean absolutely everything.