"L-Lalatina-sama?!" Sena cried out, nearly dropping the staff of justice in her hand. "The eldest daughter of House Dustiness, the one rumored to be extremely opposed to arranged marriages and known for her strange personality... is actually this Crusader who spends all day shouting, 'Hurry up and ravish me'?!"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a look on the stage. Although they had known her identity for a long time, seeing her reveal it in public to save them still stirred up complicated feelings.
"Hey, Kōichi," Kazuma whispered, his voice full of conflict. "Even though she looks ridiculously cool right now, why do I feel like she's actually enjoying this tragic heroine script where she sacrifices her dignity for her companions and bows her head to an evil lord?"
Kōichi looked at Darkness. Her gaze was firm, but the fingers gripping her family crest were trembling slightly from sheer excitement, and the corners of her mouth were twitching unnaturally. He could not help pressing a hand to his forehead.
"It's probably half acting and half her true nature... but Alderp definitely won't let this chance slip by."
Sure enough, after a brief moment of shock, a flash of triumphant delight crossed Alderp's eyes.
His bulky body shifted in the chair, producing an unpleasant creak.
"Oh? I thought you looked familiar. I never expected you to truly be the young lady of House Dustiness. Since you have put it that way, I will naturally show you some respect." Alderp licked his lips, his gaze looking as if it wanted to devour Darkness whole. "However, the debt for destroying the Lord's Manor still remains. Since Lalatina-sama says she is willing to do anything... and as a noble, she must surely honor her contracts, I shall withdraw all charges against these two heroes."
...
Late at night, in the mansion's living room, the light from the fireplace shone across four faces so gloomy they looked ready to drip water.
"Hey, Kōichi." Kazuma crouched on the sofa, mechanically sharpening his short sword, his eyes as sharp as a serial killer's. "Do you think that fat pig lord has already locked Darkness in some basement lined with whips and candles? I mean, the way that guy looked at her at the execution ground was like he wanted to swallow her like a slice of luncheon meat."
Kōichi slammed the table and shot to his feet, his voice trembling with rage.
"Very likely! Not only that, but judging by that tacky lord's style, he'll definitely force Darkness into some pitifully skimpy outfit and make her kneel on the floor calling him Master! And that stupid masochistic Knight might be drooling right now while screaming in her head, 'Please, be even rougher with me!'"
"This is awful! Such desecration of a Goddess's follower is absolutely unforgivable!" Aqua clutched a bottle of fine wine she had just swiped from the cellar and sobbed uncontrollably. "That meatball lord will definitely make Darkness clean floors covered in all sorts of sticky liquids! Or make her scrub a toilet that hasn't been washed in hundreds of years! That's something only followers of the Axis Order would enjoy... no, wait, that's something only Devils would do!"
Megumin had already raised her staff above her head, red light flickering in her eyes in the darkness.
"My name is Megumin! I am the greatest genius of the Crimson Demon Clan! I will never tolerate our companion being toyed with by such vulgar nobility! Kōichi, give the order! Tonight, I will blast even the Lord's Manor's newly repaired foundation into dust! Let that fat pig repent for his sins in the flames of Explosion!"
"Good! Everyone, get ready! Target, the Lord's Manor. Tonight, we carry out a righteous kidnapping!"
Kōichi announced this loudly while grabbing a bundle of rope and a bag of tear gas powder.
Just as the four of them, fully armed and brimming with murderous intent, rushed toward the entrance, ready to kick the door open and cause a scene...
"Click."
The door opened by itself.
Moonlight spilled into the entryway as a tall figure staggered inside.
It was Darkness. Her sturdy armor was somewhat disheveled, her helmet was nowhere to be seen, and her long golden hair spilled loosely over her shoulders.
What made their hearts stop most of all was that her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were unfocused, and the corners of her mouth held a faint, extremely unsettling smile.
The entire room fell silent.
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a look, and the same awful thought rose in both their minds at once.
"Could it be... it's already over?!"
Kazuma pointed a trembling finger at Darkness's slightly disheveled collar.
"D-Darkness... you... what did that fat pig do to you at the Lord's Manor?! Did he force you to sign some kind of lifetime slave contract? Or make you do something so stupid even Aqua would lose brain cells from it?!"
At the sound of his voice, Darkness slowly raised her head.
Seeing the four of them looking as if they were facing a mortal enemy, she froze for a moment. Then, as though she had remembered something utterly wonderful, her body gave a sudden shudder. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and let out a low, satisfied sigh.
"I never imagined that Alderp, who used to covet me so openly, would now have absolutely no interest in me. He even wants his exceptionally outstanding son to go on a blind date with me. Ah... can any of you understand that feeling? Someone who once desired you so desperately suddenly losing all interest in you..."
In the mansion's entryway, the tense atmosphere of everyone preparing to charge into the Lord's Manor and slaughter everything in sight instantly dissolved under Darkness's bizarre confession.
The tear-gas powder clenched in Kōichi's hand spilled all over the floor, and Kazuma's freshly polished short sword dropped onto his foot with a clang.
"W-wait! Darkness, stop that weird panting for a second!" Kazuma hopped around, clutching his throbbing toes as he shouted in disbelief. "You're saying that fat pig lord called you over just to set you up on a blind date with his son? That's it? Nothing else? No 'if you don't obey, I'll lock you in a dungeon full of tentacles' kind of development?!"
Darkness sighed with some regret. The flush on her face faded slightly, and her tone turned serious.
"Actually, ever since I was very young, Alderp has been pestering my father, trying to use a marriage alliance to seize the Dustiness family's name and fortune. But both Father and I despised his greedy, underhanded nature, so we always rejected him firmly. This time, in order to save all of you, I truly went there prepared to be humiliated by him however he pleased..."
At that point, a trace of loneliness actually flashed through her eyes.
"But who would have thought that after seeing me, he would only stare for a while before making an expression of utter disgust. He said I was exactly as the rumors described, a perverted woman with muscles for brains and a personality so awful it was beyond saving. He seems to have completely given up on my type. Instead, he proposed a contract. If I agree to go on a blind date with his son, who is rumored to have a difficult personality and a very distinctive appearance, and if I display the 'obedience' expected of a noble, then he will withdraw all charges against you and waive that astronomical debt."
"A blind date?" Kōichi froze, then could not help retorting, "Does that guy think he can't handle you, so he's dumping this hot potato onto his son? But as for showing obedience... Darkness, are you really going to be okay? Your idea of obedience isn't going to be shouting across the table, 'Please humiliate me thoroughly by rejecting this match,' is it?"
"Ngh...! Y-you saw right through me!" Darkness abruptly covered her face. The tips of her ears, visible through her long golden hair, glowed bright red. "Ah... being forced to meet a man I don't know at all, one I may even utterly despise, and then having him criticize my appearance and personality in front of everyone... being tossed around like a political pawn... it's just... it's just too wonderful!! Just thinking about it makes me want to..."
"If you dare get off right here, I'm throwing you out the window!" Kazuma roared in despair, then collapsed onto the sofa. "But... if a blind date is all it takes to solve this, doesn't that mean we're safe? Kōichi, we don't have to go die anymore!"
Megumin silently lowered her staff. The red glow in her eyes faded, and her voice was full of reluctance.
"Tch, what a boring ending. I thought I would get to see the Lord's Manor reduced to ashes by Explosion tonight. Since there's nothing to blow up, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow morning, I must have a good meal to calm my nerves."
Aqua stared at Darkness for a long while before suddenly patting her on the shoulder with a look of pity.
"Darkness, even though you're a hopeless pervert, going on a blind date for the sake of those two scumbags must be pretty rough. Don't worry. I'll pray to Eris... no, I'll pray to myself that the other party insults you even more brutally on the day of the blind date!"
Kōichi looked at his companions, each clearly thinking about something different, and let out a deep sigh.
Although the crisis had been averted for now, Kōichi could not shake the feeling that Lord Alderp's goal was definitely not as simple as finding a daughter-in-law.