Raze's Point of View
I watched the movements of the goldfish in the aquarium here in my office. I should be working on the papers, but the hell—I'm addicted to this fish. Isn't he dizzy? He's just swimming around.
Why isn't he swimming? Shouldn't he have drunk a lot of water? Wait, do fish get thirsty too? Are they sleeping? I suddenly laughed when I imagined that maybe if the fish slept, it would be swept away by the rushing water.
"Meow."
I looked at Dark sitting on the sofa. His green eyes were staring at me evilly.
"Are you jealous?" I asked. He lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes. "Hey." I took some fish food and poured it into the aquarium.
"The fish might die from what you're doing."
"But when he's full, he shouldn't eat anymore— Baby?!" I sat up straight when I saw Allison next to Dark, stroking his fur.
I suddenly remembered something about him so I quickly shook my head and almost hit it because those memories were trying to come back.
"Everything in excess is deadly."
"So what about my love for you? Is it deadly?" I asked.
She averted her gaze and just turned away.
Dark lay down on her lap. Am I crazy when I say I'm jealous? I wish I was the only one who was Dark.
"I guess you're not bothering me anymore," she whispered, making my smile widen.
"Just busy, baby. Don't be jealous."
She laughed. I even blinked a few times because it was real laughter. She's laughing and there's no mockery in it. Her eyes are twinkling.
Am I really in love with her? Or do I just see that woman in her? No. It's impossible to fall in love with her right away because I know she's still the heart of my heart. It's not easy to let go. She's my first.
"Hey, Dark. Missed me?"
Dark suddenly jumped towards her head, making her laugh. For the nth time, I see Samantha in her. Damn! This is insane! Ugh! Wake up, Raze.
She's gone... Forget about her...
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"W-Nothing. I-I just want to apologize for everything I've done to you. For hurting you. For leaving you. And for keeping secrets."
I fell silent after hearing those words. I don't know, but I feel like she's hiding something in each line. I'm nervous for some unknown reason.
"That's nothing. What are you!"
"Are you really in love with me?" A question from her that silenced me.
I don't know what to say. I can't find an answer. I'm not sure. I admit I was just teasing her but now I'm confused. Am I being held captive again? Am I playing with fire? Am I being burned again? Am I stuck, again?
"You don't have to answer me." She laughed bitterly. "I already know the answer so please... Just ignore it." She pleaded.
She remained bent over and stroked Dark's fur as he lay back on her lap.
"It's funny... I thought it was gone but it's back," she whispered. "Would you forgive me if ever?" she asked.
"Forgive me, what? Wait, what are you saying, Allison?"
I saw the sadness in her eyes when I mentioned her name. Why? I'm confused again.
"God! I loved you, Lux."
I was speechless. I didn't know what to think because I felt like I was losing myself. My whole body was losing control, led by my heart.
"And continue to be loved..."
"You're just kidding, right?" I asked because that's how I felt.
I feel like she's just playing with me. I feel like she's just joking with me or teasing me because that's how she always is.
"I hope so... But no." She stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes before smiling bitterly. "I'll go first," she said.
I approached her. She remained in her place. Her eyes attracted me. I was lost in the moment.
"R-Raze..."
I wrapped my arm around her waist and pressed our bodies together. A strong voltage of electricity flowed through my dormant nerves.
I feel like my entire being has awakened after a long slumber.
"R-Raz—" I quickly grabbed her lips. My hands tightened their grip on her waist and up her back.
At first I knew she was shocked by me but not long after she responded to my kisses. Shit! What kind of feeling does this feel like? I feel like I've already felt it.
Our kiss deepened until we fell onto the sofa. I got on top of her and pressed my lips even harder against hers.
I bit her lower lip lightly.
Familiar...
My hand moved spontaneously to her chest. I felt her startled by what I did, but she couldn't resist.
We lose ourselves and it feels like our bodies have a life of their own.
Damn! I couldn't stop anymore. All I need right now is her... with me. Is it love?
As we became more passionate, I realized something.
It's familiar. Her lips. Her touch. This feeling.
"Samantha..."
A slap landed on my cheek as I said that. It was as if I had regained my senses and quickly got off of her. I saw tears flowing from her eyes.
She adjusted her seat and re-buttoned her blouse. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I could still feel her lips on mine. But, it was strange.
She stood up.
"Until now, it's still him," she whispered before leaving.
I was left dumbfounded and oblivious to the cold because I don't have anything to wear on top.
What was that?
***
Allison's Point of View
After years of pretending, I felt it again. I was hurting again. I thought I was numb. I thought it was gone but I just thought it was because the truth is I just didn't want to admit it.
Because I know it's still him. It's still him that beats in my heart. It's still him. It's still him.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and went to the parking lot. I was carried away by my emotions again. God! How long will I be a fool? How can he love me? Or will he even be able to love me because of what I did?
Does he hate me?
I was stunned when I saw a woman leaning against my car. Her deep eyes were looking at me. It was like cold water was being poured over me. I was at a loss for words.
"Miss me?" She grinned.
I want to come over and hug you. I want to apologize even though it's unlikely you'll forgive me. Everything is a blur.
"You are such a great pretender," he laughed.
I was hit where I was standing. I had prepared myself for this but I still couldn't help but get hurt. The pain was so bad that I felt like I was losing my senses.
"I'm sorry..."
"Sorry?" He laughed and came closer to me. He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Do you think you can get me with just a sorry?" he whispered.
My knees are weak. I can't recognize him anymore. Even though my brother is in front of me, I still miss him because it feels like he's not my brother anymore.
Where is Zein?
"Zein is dead," he whispered. "You killed him," he continued.
I couldn't speak at all. I was out of breath. I felt like his words were choking me. Painful? Those words weren't enough for what I was feeling. It's more than painful.
But, what can I do? It's my fault. I did this to her. If only you knew...
"What if Raze finds out?" My heart skipped a beat at his words. "After you turned me around, now it's Raze's turn. Are you really that desperate to cover up your devilishness?" He reached for me with a slap but it wasn't enough.
She smiled, but it still grinned.
"You don't know anything about what really happened! And if there is..." I laughed. "Not everything," I continued.
I'm hiding an important piece so no matter what they do... they won't understand me.
"What am I supposed to understand? That you're a traitor? That you're a murderer? A traitor? A worthless brother?"
"That's enough!"
He laughed. I didn't think he would be this serious. Hate is eating him up. He's lost in the light. And yes, it's my fault.
What have I done? Shit!
"Is that enough? I wish you had thought of that before," he said laughing. "It's not too late now. Are you ready to pay for everything?" he asked.
Its cold eyes pierced me. I laughed.
"I'm not the only one pretending in this game, Zein." I touched his cheek. "Why do you have to pretend to be a demon when you can't?" I asked.
I still see my brother in his eyes, but he just chooses to be like this.
"I'll pretend until you suffer... Sister Allison."
I couldn't speak at that moment. My eyes were already blurry from tears.
"Zein, let's go. We have something else to do."
I looked at the man behind Zein. I just smiled when I saw his sparkling eyes.
——