"I," Bazett said faintly, rubbing her elbow. "I grew up in a village along the coast."
Since we both lived in the same hotel, I'd expected the walk back home to be awkward, especially with that expression she'd shown me. That was actually the case, for a bit, she kept quiet and only snuck the occasional glance as we walked side by side.
Not quite built for the cold, I tugged on my windbreaker with both hands in an attempt to make myself warmer.
"My family lives in seclusion," She did not meet my gaze, "But I suppose most magus are like that. It's not really out of the ordinary, is it?"
I hummed, "I guess."
"But my family isn't like the others. My ancestors, they never approved of the Clock Tower's methods. My parents were loving, they worried for me because I didn't understand other children."
I had no words for any of that, but I kept listening. It cost me nothing to do so.
"I came to the Mage's Association wanting a different life from my ancestors." She glanced at me shyly, "But, the Clock Tower isn't the place for that kind of thing. The more I did, the more everyone avoided me. I don't know why."
She was a monstrous combatant, with a lineage from the Age of the Gods. The Clock Tower, from what I knew, was a cesspool of psychotic politicians trying to one up each other, no wonder they hadn't appreciated someone outshining them and theirs.
"I still kept trying. That's how I met Kirei."
I raised a brow.
"I know you don't like him but-" She pursed her lips for a moment, "-he listened. We worked together a lot. I still don't understand why I listened to you instead of him that day. I was happy when he asked me for help."
I couldn't help myself.
"Why then?"
"...You looked so desperate."
Did I?
"That was the first time someone... looked at me like that."
I could not recall being anything like that. No, I'd just warned her in passing, since it cost me nothing and she was beautiful. But then again, my mind had been all over the place back then. There was a chance I missed my own tone of voice.
A faint smile crossed Bazett's lips, breaking me from my thoughts.
I was so awed I hit my toe against a streetlight. The metal beam thrummed loudly as I stumbled aside, right into her. She softly propped me up, pushing her arms against my back. Her warm breath ran along the back of neck.
Then, she giggled. It was barely noticeable. But, she did.
"I'm sorry. You just looked so lost."
As I hurriedly straightened up, my hand brushed against hers. I quickly pulled it away. She averted her gaze with tinted cheeks. I also suddenly found the creases in the asphalt road to be the most interesting object in the world for some reason.
Across the road, the trees lining the sidewalk swayed gently with the wind, and beyond, a lump of darkness seemed to be obscuring the mountains surrounding the city. When the words died down, an unexpected voice called out to me.
"She bared her past, and you will say nothing of your own?"
It was Shuwen. I looked around, searching for my mentor and servant. He'd spoken through our connection, I realised.
He was right.
"Thank you, Bazett, for trusting me."
She turned to me, "It's... nothing."
I could see in her eyes that she'd been expecting something else. I did not want to speak of my own family. The only one I had. It felt like bringing them up would just sour the mood and feel like a competition.
No.
That wasn't right.
She'd chosen me, a stranger over her friend. She was the first person to show concern with nothing in return.
Hadn't she attacked Rin because she worried that the Tohsaka hurt me?
I needed to stop being a bitch.
"My dad's dead."
She raised her hand, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. He was a drunk shithead that beat me and blamed the world for his own incompetence."
Her lips trembled.
That was why I didn't want to speak of it.
"My mom. I never knew my mom. She left me with him when I was born." I continued, as plainly as I could, "My sister showed up two weeks ago when I was in the hospital, when she could've come at any point. No, she decided that somehow walking in after twenty years of nothing would make me happy. Should I have been?"
Bazett said nothing.
I looked down on the path head, and kept my gait steady, not deigning to check.
"Twenty years of a drunk that was never happy no matter how much I tried, beatings, scrounging up money for his beer and shitty part-time jobs, then a stranger I've never met shows up declaring that she had finally made up her mind to look after me. I tried, you know? For my dad. Grades, competitions, awards, everything a kid could."
My sister had her own side of the story, surely, maybe it was impossible for her to come. I didn't care. She was my older sibling. I had spent a life with no one. I still remembered the times when I promised myself I would always show up for my own little sibling no matter what... if I had one.
"Fuck that. I'm fine by myself."
By the time I was done, I lacked the guts to try and see what kind of reaction Bazett had to them. No, I only felt the warmth of her gloved hand wrap around mine, gripping it tight. She pressed her side against mine.
"You worked hard."
Goddamit.
"Good job."
-
"Fuuuuuuuuuu-"
I gripped my face with both hands and rolled around my bed in shame, bunching up all the silk covers. Kicking my legs had already knocked most of the pillows over the edge. The black curtains were drawn thankfully, but Shuwen was still sitting on the sunchair facing them in the pitch black.
"I would laugh." The old martial artist said calmly, crossing one over the leg, "But I do so remember crying in my wife's embrace as youth when the world closed in."
"She was your wife." I tossed a pillow at him.
I'd just gotten carried away, unable to help myself, and spilled my guts out to someone I met only recently. Actually, I was pretty sure I even teared up when she told me I'd done well. My chances with her were definitely blown to shit after that sappy conversation.
The soft mattress sunk under my weight.
Again, I let out a loud groan and hid my face in my hands.
"She probably thinks I'm a corny bitch now."
Shuwen craned his neck. "I feel you have a rather distorted perception of what makes people enjoy each other's company."
Argh...
It was just that once I started talking, the figurative dam broke.
Why did I have to go and do something like that?
Before I could torture myself further, there was a quaint knock at the door. I dragged my hands across my face, and let out a sigh as I got up. Walking over, I couldn't help but wonder who the hell it could possibly be at this hour.
When I opened the door, all the embarrassment came rushing back to the fore.
It was Bazett.
She squirmed in place, gaze wandering all over. In her hands, she clutched a big white pillow, like she was trying to hide behind it.
"Wha?"
"Cu... He kicked me out of my... room." She said pitifully, pale skin flushing red. "He said... nevermind, it doesn't matter. I just thought that-" Her breath hitched, "-that you shouldn't be alone."
I backed away from the door with a racing heart.
"You can take the bed."
"N-No, I couldn't possibly impose on you like that."
"Then what?"
"Well, maybe..."
She trailed off.
"I'm taking the couch."
-
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