"ROOOAR!!!"
The fire wyrm roared as it crawled down off the long cart. Soldiers scattered in every direction, and even the players jumped back fast. "Holy shit, clear the fucking way!"
"This sandworm's about to burrow!"
Under everyone's stunned stares, the massive fire wyrm slammed its head into the ground and started digging at insane speed. Dirt and sand exploded upward in a thick cloud that blinded the whole field.
When the dust finally settled, the wyrm had vanished. All that remained was a huge, pitch-black tunnel in the earth.
"Gate to the Seven Hells!" one soldier yelped.
The players weren't scared—just impressed as hell.
"Where the fuck did Brother Rat dig up a giant sandworm like that?"
"You guys don't know? That's a fire wyrm. I saw 'em for sale in the shop earlier. They've got war elephants and wyverns too, but they're crazy expensive. I could only afford a mastiff to keep me company."
"What good is a mastiff? I started as a beast tamer and I'm still stuck with just a damn dog. When the hell are we gonna get to ride actual dragons?"
While the players kept chattering, the guards up on the Iron Bank's high walls were completely losing their minds. One second that monster was right there; the next it had vanished.
Rumble… rumble…
The sudden vibrations yanked every guard on the wall around to stare at the ground behind them.
The hundreds of soldiers lined up behind the gates, ready to fight, also glanced down at their feet as the shaking grew stronger and stronger.
By the time some of them realized this was very bad news, the fire wyrm exploded out of the earth like a nightmare. Seven or eight unlucky bastards got launched screaming into the air, limbs flailing.
"ROAR!"
The massive body slammed back down, crushing more than a dozen soldiers who couldn't dodge into bloody paste.
"What the hell is that?! A serpent from the Seven Hells?!"
"Gods, save us!"
Even though the wyrm had only killed about twenty guards so far—a drop in the bucket for a force of over a thousand—the sheer terror of the giant monster shattered their morale completely. Fight? Nobody wanted any part of this.
"ROAR!"
The "serpent from hell" whipped its head around and locked onto a tight cluster of at least fifty soldiers. Its maw opened wide.
A blast of dragonfire erupted.
The guards, who had never imagined the giant snake could breathe fire like the dragons from the legends, had zero time to react. The flames swallowed them whole.
"AAAAAH!"
A few survivors staggered out of the inferno, bodies engulfed in flames, flailing like headless chickens before collapsing and slowly turning into charred corpses.
"Run! Fucking run!"
As the wyrm turned and spewed another jet of flame, roasting another group, the rest of the guards broke completely. They scattered like rabbits.
Even their commander had already disappeared somewhere.
You want us to fight this giant fire-breathing monster? Fuck that!
They barely paid us enough to eat!
Run!
The moment the Iron Bank guards routed, it proved an eternal truth: when your own side starts screaming "We're fucked!", everything collapses fast.
Up on the wall, soldiers swarmed their commander and stabbed him to death, then fled in every direction.
A few tried to be heroes and open the gates. The fire wyrm roasted them and the gate together.
BOOM!
The massive gates collapsed.
Pointing-Rat-Calling-It-Duck raised his scepter high and ordered the fire wyrm to keep tunneling deeper into the bank. At the same time he waved the troops forward to mop up whatever was left.
"Kill!"
Nothing boosts an army's morale like kicking someone when they're already down. Soldiers and players charged with wild howls, every one of them suddenly a fearless warrior.
As they poured through the broken gates, Iron Bank soldiers suddenly came rushing out from every side.
"Ambush?!"
That was the first thought in almost everyone's head.
Then reality slapped them in the face.
These soldiers weren't charging to fight—they had tears in their eyes like they'd just seen their long-lost mothers. They threw down weapons, screamed "We surrender!" and dropped to their knees.
Just like that? They folded immediately?
The players blinked in disbelief.
Wait… this isn't how the script is supposed to go. You're supposed to put up a desperate last stand first so we can have a proper fight, then surrender heroically after we've had our fun. What the hell?
Why aren't you following the rules?!
What now?
Storm-Overlord shot a quick glance at Storm-Cloud-Split. The other man just shrugged and pointed at the royal enforcers already moving in to process the prisoners. Storm-Overlord clicked his tongue and led his boys deeper into the complex.
No heads to take here. If they didn't grab some gold soon, this whole trip would be a total waste.
They could be high-level players, but they refused to be broke high-level players.
The long column of troops surged into the Iron Bank like a dragon. The once-impressive reinforced inner doors—supposed to be tall and sturdy—had been smashed to splinters by the fire wyrm.
"Look at that. It didn't even bother digging a new hole," one player joked, pointing at the wreckage.
"Shut the fuck up and move," his guild leader, Storm-Overlord, kicked him in the ass. "First ones in get the good loot. If you're slow, you can watch while the rest of us stuff our pockets with gold."
Along the way they passed the occasional smear of red paste—some poor bastard inside had run straight into the wyrm in a narrow hallway with nowhere to dodge.
Brutal.
The players offered a moment of silence.
"We're here!"
After passing through four more smashed gates, they finally reached the legendary vault doors.
"This thing is insanely thick. Even the fire wyrm couldn't crack it?" one player said, staring at the massive, untouched iron doors.
"Where the hell did the wyrm go then?" another asked.
"Are you blind? There's a giant fucking hole right there," his buddy smacked him on the shoulder.
Sure enough, in a dark corner sat a pitch-black tunnel.
"What are we waiting for? Let's get in there!" someone shouted.
The whole force erupted and swarmed toward the hole.
The first player to climb out inside the vault froze on the spot.
"Holy fucking…"
"Move your ass, you idiot, you're blocking—"
The next player started to curse but stopped dead when he saw what was in front of them.
Then he whispered the same thing everyone else was thinking:
"I… goddamn…"