— Where's Dotea? — I ask while I'm in the bathtub.
— I don't know — Fortis replies.
— She's the princes' godmother, Dotea must be here.
— Are you really going to force her to settle for being just your mistress?
— What have you done to her?
— Just focus on getting better — he says before kissing me on the forehead and leaving.
I was bedridden for several days, and Fortis wouldn't let me leave the room. According to him, it was to ensure I regained my strength after giving birth. When he left to wage war against his brother in Bournes, I finally decided to take control of political affairs.
I found many letters from my grandmother discussing the mining plans to support the war that Fortis has been trying to revive for years. I meet with the castle court to learn more about the kingdom's affairs. To no one's surprise, Fortis has been squandering Rubrum Vallem's tax revenue for the past five years and has brought famine and scarcity to Valgon, my parents' kingdom.
The circumstances are urgent, but there's one question I just can't get out of my head— Where is Dotea Arteneses? — I ask Merana.
— I don't know, Your Majesty. I haven't heard from her since she left for the war.
— What do you mean?
— She tried to take her own life the night before you gave birth, Your Majesty. Her mother scolded her, but she decided she would die in the war because she was convinced she had cursed you.
I nod and turn my back on Merana so she won't see me on the verge of crying. When I hear her close the door, I break down in tears and fall to my knees on the floor, letting all the air out of my lungs. For days, there was no one to comfort me until I decided to go to Valgon to take care of some business. The trip without my children kept my mind off Dotea, and now I was even more eager to return soon so I could see them again.
My grandmother Itzel greeted me — My daughter! — she said, coming toward me with open arms. I held out my hand to keep her from getting too close — I see you're pregnant. I thought you'd already given birth. Or is this your second child?
— I just gave birth, but I didn't come here to talk about that. Please summon the royal court; I need them to halt the mining operations and weapons production.
— I don't think that's appropriate, considering your husband has gone to war with half of Valgon's men — the old woman remarked.
— You've been regent all these years since my father fell ill, but now I'll take the reins of the kingdom that belongs to me, to restore what you and Fortis have tried to destroy — I say, turning to Merana — Have them unload the ship and go back for my children; we'll be here for a long time.
— Why are you making such hasty decisions?
— Do you consider my desire to stay in the castle where I grew up to be hasty?
— My dear — Itzel tries to take my hands, but I take a step back — I've missed seeing your face for so long. Seeing you here makes me happy, and I hope you understand that I wasn't trying to destroy anything. I've simply been trying to fulfill your father's dreams — I sigh, with no intention of listening to her any further. She continues speaking. — Believe it or not, your father always wanted to conquer more lands or, instead, form alliances that would bring greater wealth.
— If you hadn't deceived me, I'd still believe what you're telling me. What makes you think your words will hold any weight in my mind?
— Everything that happened was a misunderstanding, and I…
— You were part of Fortis's scheme to start the war you wanted. None of this war is because of what happened four years ago. The feud between brothers is nothing more than a facade to satisfy your whims and his. to take the eastern lands.
— I'm sorry you've been caught in the middle of such a family feud, but the thought that I had anything to do with what Fortis did to you breaks my heart — she says — I only did my best to protect your good name.
— Get out of my sight, please — I say, turning my back on her. — I don't want to see you.
Her hand on my arm makes me break down in tears almost immediately. Tears I'd been trying to hold back from the moment I saw land on the horizon — I thought I'd already gotten over it and was at peace with knowing what a despicable person you are. But I just can't bear to see your face again.
I continue on my way to my late father's chambers. The murmurs fall silent as I pass through the hallways, and the castle feels larger and colder. Memories of my childhood with my father resurface in my mind like fresh air streaming in through the doors of his room that overlook the garden.
For a moment, I thought I would be happy again. I let my heart love once more because I never imagined it would be broken so soon —Your Majesty — I hear Merana's voice. When I see her, she offers me a handkerchief to dry my tears —I know you'll see each other again — she says.
The next morning while I was bathing, Merana offered to wash my hair and comb it herself, instead of the former maids who used to help me in Valgon.
<><><> 1316 <><><>
Throughout my time at court, I let Merana sit beside me in the meeting hall while I spoke with the castle's nobles.
I decided that many must go, and I consulted with several communities protesting the country's policies to form a new council that would truly look out for the interests of the poorest. I wanted them to see me as a committed queen.
The excavations were halted. We focused on agriculture, textiles, and the timber industry to bring greater economic stability. I managed to arrange several meetings with Eastern countries to discuss trade agreements.
— You must be very happy, Your Majesty — says Merana — You've accomplished so much in less than five years.
— I must return to Rubrum Vallem once everything has calmed down. But I want you to stay here — I tell her as I nurse my son. The child's eyes are so wide open that they seem to be speaking to me.
— Of course, Your Majesty — she says and bows with her head.
— I'll be at peace if you're the one taking care of them. It won't be more than a year; I couldn't be apart from them for that long, they're my hope and my love.
After taking a bath, I wrap myself in the sheets while Merana reads. In the middle of her reading, there's a knock at the door. A few seconds later, Merana returns with a tray holding a soiled letter bearing my husband's family seal. When I open it, there's only one sentence: "King Fortis Griseo is dead; act with discretion."
My heart pounds violently at this surprise. I had heard of Fortis's victory over his brother, and now I learn of his death sooner than I expected.
I couldn't sleep all night, wondering what to do. I ordered that all messages arriving at the castle must pass through me first to ensure that my grandmother wouldn't find out what had happened.
I decided to return to Rubrum Vallem with my closest advisor. The council of Rubrum Vallem was already assembled, waiting for me with many questions about what would happen following Fortis's death and the defeat at Bournes.
I decide to receive the brave soldiers, but a member of the Fortis Council tells me that a crime was committed against the royal guard because a woman took part in the war. This announcement makes my heart skip a beat, and I ask the man to bring this woman to me before I make a decision about her.
My longing to see her makes my eyes tear up, so I decide to go out for some fresh air. Hearing the door and her footsteps approaching sends shivers down my spine. I don't know what to say, but I just know that I love her when I see her again.
— I love you so much — I say without letting her get another word in — It's you, it's my love standing before me like a beautiful angel.
— I thought you were dead — she says, still surprised, as her eyes fill with tears. I kiss her lips, cupping her face in my hands, and wipe away her tears before they fall any further down her cheeks — I'm sorry I left you, my wife — she says, but I ignore her apology and kiss her.
I kiss her, then kiss her again on the lips, and I don't let go of her until her tears stop falling.
THE END