Once I finished dinner, I dumped all the dishes into the sink, grabbed the paper, and climbed the stairs to Lily's room.
I originally planned to just barge into her room as she did with me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was something only she could pull off. Maybe it was the privilege of being a younger sibling.
No, that was just an excuse. As an Older Sibling, I had just as much of a right to intrude on her personal space. The truth was, I just had too much pride in me to say "I came to check up on you" if Lily asked what I was doing. So I brought the paper with me as my reason.
"You did well on the test—not as well as I would've, but still good," is what I decided on saying. Or something along those lines.
No matter what I said, it was going to be a risk. There was still too much I didn't know. Based on the fact that the paper was on the dinner table instead of in her bag, I assumed she'd taken it out at some point—probably to show one or both of our parents.
Everything after that was pure guesswork. I don't know what state she was in, how the conversation between her and our parents went—I didn't even know if she was actually upset. The only thing pointing to it was that she didn't bug me today, plus a flicker of Brotherly intuition.
But it was best to assume the worst. So I was going in with the assumption that she was upset over something.
Still, she and I joked around all the time. It was a core part of our relationship. So I doubted that anything would get out of control with just that one line.
But I still couldn't shake off this... feeling.
What if I'm wrong about this?
What if I mess up?
What if she really is mad at me?
What if I make it worse?
Doubt crowded my mind, making my legs falter with each step. But my mind was already made up. I was going up no matter what. And there was no use mulling over things that hadn't happened yet.
As I reached the top of the stairs and stepped into the hallway, it seemed to narrow, leading to a single place—Lily's room. Her door almost seemed to forbid entry.
Sadly for her, I was her Older Brother, and it was my job to annoy her as much as possible.
I took a deep breath and slowly approached the door. As the door approached closer, the sound of my heartbeat pulsed louder in my ears.
Then, I extended my free hand and gripped the knob.
Everything froze. The hallway returned to normal, the dread disappeared, and sound ceased to exist.
Even so, I twisted it and swung the door open.
I blinked, then blinked again, but nothing changed. In her room was… nothing. No—that wasn't it. It was more like everything was drowned in inky black shadows that rivalled even the alley, making it impossible to see anything.
...Except for a desk illuminated by the yellow light of a small desk lamp.
Sitting at the desk… was a girl. It was Lily. Or—someone who looked like Lily. The shape was hers, but something about her felt wrong.
A shiver ran down my spine, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from her.
Just what… happened?
Textbooks were scattered across her desk, along with a notebook in front of her. Lily had nice handwriting, but the notebook was filled with messy, grey scribbles that barely resembled numbers and formulas.
She should've been studying, but she hadn't moved an inch since I entered the room. Almost like my presence had frozen her in place.
Her head stayed bowed over the notebook, her hair falling forward, hiding her face.
I couldn't tell what she was thinking. All I knew was that she clearly felt I was intruding.
Should I back off?
Should I come back another day?
Normally, I would. Sometimes, space was the best thing you could give someone.
But every bone in my body told me that leaving now was a mistake.
Lily hated being alone. So afraid of it, in fact, that she had trouble sleeping at night. I just felt like–
I bit the inside of my mouth.
Stop trying to explain everything!
It wasn't about intuition or deduction. I just didn't want to leave my sister the way she was.
Was I supposed to just turn back around when something was clearly wrong? As her Older Brother, my pride wouldn't allow it. It was that simple.
I stepped into her room with a teasing, yet proud grin, casually scratching the back of my head.
"I saw your test on the table when I got home, so I went to take a look at it."
I couldn't come on too strong, and I couldn't open with a joke as I intended to after seeing her reaction—or lack of one.
So I'd give her what I knew she wanted—a real compliment. Just not one that sounded too earnest. That wasn't who I was to her.
I opened my mouth, took a quick breath, and then spoke. "I didn't think you had it in you, good job, Li–"
Before I could even finish saying her name, Lily slammed her hands on the desk, shooting up from her seat and shutting me up.
She stomped towards me, my thoughts scrambling as she closed the distance. I tried to study her face, but her hair still hid it.
Okay—so she's clearly upset.
Should I make a joke?
No, that didn't work.
And it's too late to turn back.
Maybe I should be serious?
No, that'd make her more upset. She'd want me to be as I always was.
I blinked, and she was already one step away.
Before I had the chance to think, for the first time in a long time, my brows furrowed, showing the concern I'd been hiding all this time.
The words left my mouth before I could stop them.
"What's wrong, Li–"
Her hand shot forward, slapping the test out of my hand and scattering the pages.
My hand stung, but I couldn't process the pain. I couldn't process anything, really.
Anything except for one thing—
Why… did she do that?
A page fell between us, covering her face. When it dropped away, I felt a frown tug on my lips, even though she was right in front of me.
But I didn't care about that. All I could think was—
Why… does she look like that?
A second page drifted between us, a white curtain momentarily separating us. When it fell, a crease formed between my brows. Lily's eyes were wet and bloodshot, as if she had spent hours crying. But in the depths of those eyes… was an all-enveloping black.
The final page fell, and the world went still.
Her eyes were different from mine—even Mei's. Even I could see it, could feel it—the boiling, burning, hateful desire.
The dread closed around my chest, draining the room to a dull grey.
Why… is she making that face?
I bit the inside of my mouth.
There was no need to play dumb. I already knew the reason—felt the reason. After all...
I could see it in her eyes. All that hate, that spite—they were directed at me.
The blood drained from my whole body, leaving behind nothing but an empty chill.
But still…
Maybe, just maybe, I can fix this.
Maybe… we can keep acting like we always did.
Even drained, I clenched my fists.
…Because she's—
My sister.
All I have left.
Before I could find the words, Lily's voice shattered everything.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!"