Well, I'll look through everyone's comments when I have time.
It's a new book by a new author, so there are many shortcomings; please forgive me.
There are indeed some issues, and I'm considering how to revise them.
As for the parts I personally think are fine, I'll reserve my opinion.
Let's seek common ground while reserving differences. After all, fan fiction is a derivative work based on the original, and everyone has their own interpretation of the original. It's impossible to satisfy everyone's ideas.
So, since I'm writing the book, it will be written according to my ideas.
Okay, now it's time to answer questions.
In general, there are three major points of contention.
First, the gatekeeper's sarcasm.
I've considered it carefully. It's understandable that the gatekeeper looks down on someone with innate first-level talent. The entire academy consists of Soul Masters; someone like Yu Xiaogang, who is only half a level, is an exception and probably not many. Therefore, from level 1 to 10, level 1 is almost at the bottom. The students in Notting City aren't that talented; most are probably level 1 to 3, and maybe level 4 at most. Tang San and Xiao Wu with full Soul Power are exceptions.
1-3, with 1 being the lowest level, plus the "mutated martial soul: black pupil" written on the martial soul appraisal, and the original martial soul only becoming known to others ten thousand years later through the Body Sect.
There's no precedent for a mutated martial soul on the original body, plus the worst soul power. Ordinary people know that in a lifetime, one can only reach a level ten or so soul master at most. If the mutation is a poor one, like Yu Xiaogang, it's not impossible for him to be stuck at level 9 and unable to move.
At least on the surface, he's significantly inferior to other students in the academy.
Therefore, it's normal for the security guard, who's seen so much of the protagonist, to look down on him. How could a security guard in a workplace, who's seen so many high-ranking officials,
possibly look down on a mere junior staff member? (I don't think there's anything wrong with this mentality; there are plenty of people who are arrogant and have unrealistic ambitions. My inability to make money doesn't stop me from despising the stupidity of a failed entrepreneur.) Of course, directly using "muttering" might be a bit too much, exaggerated, and easily offend people.
I thought about it for a long time and finally changed it to "inwardly criticizing." He didn't say it aloud, but deep down he didn't think much of him. I think this should be less of a problem.
Secondly, regarding Zhu Zhuqing's attention to the protagonist and the issue of the Martial Soul Fusion Skill.
Before they held hands, Zhu Zhuqing paid attention to the protagonist, but ultimately it wasn't the Martial Soul Fusion Skill that drew some attention, which some found illogical.
Actually, I've considered Zhu Zhuqing's character. In a rather oppressive environment, she becomes lifeless and cold, naturally avoiding closeness with others.
However, this doesn't mean she's completely isolated from the outside world. Such a person constantly observes others, like a bystander, coldly watching others' happiness and sadness, as if she herself is out of place with everything around her.
This is my interpretation of Zhu Zhuqing's character.
Therefore, Zhu Zhuqing's attention before "holding hands" was merely observing a stranger.
However, the protagonist told many lies, fearing exposure, harboring malice, and lacking honesty. Being scrutinized for too long easily led to self-doubt.
I wanted to portray the protagonist as similar to Cao Cao when he had Cao Pi guard Cao Chong's spirit, a state of mind where he was easily startled by the slightest disturbance. Because of his hidden malice, even the slightest glance from others felt like a complete stripping of his soul.
Therefore, the protagonist "misunderstood" Zhu Zhuqing's gaze.
After they held hands, there's no need for further explanation; I've already described it in the main text through narration.
This is Zhu Zhuqing's "misunderstanding" of the protagonist.
These are my thoughts while writing; many readers may not grasp this feeling, perhaps due to my limited writing skills.
I truly feel ashamed and ask for your forgiveness. I'm just a newcomer to novel writing, far inferior to many others.
Thirdly, regarding the protagonist's fight against the Soul Emperor, his rapid increase in strength raises concerns about the power level being inconsistent.
The protagonist's defeat of the Soul Emperor and Soul King is debatable.
Here's a passage from Part 2: "[Soul beasts undergo a qualitative leap upon reaching ten thousand years. Generally, a human needs at least a sixth-ring strength to deal with a ten-thousand-year-old soul beast alone. To deal with a soul beast over thirty thousand years old, at least a seventh-ring strength is required, and only after possessing a True Martial Soul can one attempt it.]"
My reply: "The Terrorclaw Bear is equivalent to ten thousand years old. Its shadow strength is weakened, but only slightly, as mentioned earlier. Because it is unafraid of death, it has a 'berserk' bonus. Plus, it can continuously resurrect, allowing for attrition warfare.
As for the soul power consumption of resurrection, I did mention earlier that it can't support too many resurrections, but since I didn't write a system, I couldn't quantify the number of resurrections too precisely. Furthermore, quantification easily leads to mindless bugs like the 'hydrogen man' in the original work. I can only rely on intuition.
One pseudo-ten-thousand-year-old + one pseudo-5k-year-old + thirteen 3k-year-old, with a limited number of resurrections, still has a chance to kill a Soul Emperor. In a King-level battle, even if you're a strong level 15, you can't beat five level 13 heroes constantly resurrecting in a team fight, right?" A
reader asked: "This makes it seem more like a game. Combat isn't just about you punching me and me punching you.
1. You yourself said it's comparable to a ten-thousand-year-old, not truly ten-thousand-year-old. There hasn't been a qualitative change yet. People aren't stupid; if they can't win, they'll run away.
2. Having the protagonist hide is understandable, but can a level 20 Great Soul Master withstand a single normal attack from a Soul Emperor? And this Soul Emperor is accompanied by several Soul Kings. In a moment of despair, shouldn't they at least take one down with them?
3. If you directly depicted the protagonist being carried into the sky by a bird-like Soul Beast and then surrounded by shadows, I could accept it. But in your writing, those people are acting like idiots; a Soul Emperor at six rings can wipe them out, and a Soul King can easily capture the protagonist."
1. That makes sense. I overlooked that the Terrorclaw Bear is only comparable to a ten-thousand-year-old, not truly ten-thousand-year-old. Even with its immortal "berserk" transformation, whether it can rival a Soul Emperor is still unknown. So I'm marking this here and will discuss it later.
But I disagree with the idea that running away when you can't beat the opponent. I never wrote that they couldn't beat the opponent. Both of them believed they had a chance to wear down the protagonist or rush in and kill him directly, giving them a psychological advantage. Of course, they would run away if they weren't in a position of advantage, but what if the opponent already believed they could kill the protagonist? Would they run away?
2. They couldn't block the Soul Emperor's attack, but I didn't consider normal attacks, only soul skills.
From the beginning, both of them wanted to go straight for the protagonist and released their soul skills, but the Terrorclaw Bear's defense was very strong. Using it as a tank to protect the protagonist was just right. If it were normal attacks, they would have to get close first.
But once they got close,
they would fall right into the protagonist's trap. I still remember when I first encountered Graves in League of Legends. After being deprived of vision, I panicked and used all my skills, but I didn't hit anyone and ended up being killed. That feeling of being caught off guard is still fresh in my memory.
So the soul skill I set was to deprive the protagonist of vision when the sphere shattered, relying on the dark nature of the shadow.
I personally think that depriving vision is a very overpowered skill.
My original intention was: the protagonist always knew his second skill was overpowered, so he planned to use the moment his second soul skill shattered to deprive the enemy of their vision and launch a surprise attack.
I captured the Soul Emperor's surprise at breaking the sphere; the feeling of being deprived of vision amidst great joy, that sense of disillusionment, was a perfect opportunity. The Terrorclaw Bear had the chance to kill a blind man.
This psychological game is hard to explain. Because the Soul Emperor felt he could win, he didn't run away. And because the protagonist was weak, he could lure the enemy to attack, relying on the suddenness of his soul skill to seize the only opportunity to kill the enemy in a moment of surprise.
In a situation where one strike is fatal, why would he self-destruct?
Only the disadvantaged would self-destruct in despair. Why would the advantageous one think of self-destruction? The advantageous one hadn't considered this option, nor had he had time to think about it, so self-destruction was out of the question.
On the contrary, if the protagonist had overwhelming power, and the time dragged on a little longer, he might self-destruct, right?
3. Flying into the sky is unlikely. You also raised questions about the number of resurrections. The shadow can't resurrect too many times, and relying on soul beasts to fight head-on is unsustainable. Dragging it out will deplete soul power, and the protagonist will lose.
The outcome of "Soul Emperor clearing the field, Soul King capturing" is essentially the same: close-range capture means losing vision, and a surprise attack on a Soul King might result in death.
Of course, dealing with the Soul Emperor later will be troublesome for the protagonist; without the element of surprise, the protagonist might also lose—that's undeniable.
But then again, a battle is inherently about anticipating the enemy, finding opportunities, and making split-second decisions.
The Soul Emperor and Soul King certainly have countless ways to kill the protagonist! The protagonist also has countless choices that would sacrifice their advantage, such as flying into the sky without sufficient soul power, as mentioned above.
The protagonist isn't without opportunities. When the weak face the strong, they can only rely on surprise attacks and the opponent's mistakes. If you seize these two points and don't let any opportunity slip by, is there really no chance of winning? In
a life-or-death battle, insufficient information could lead to being set into a trap, a moment's hesitation could mean losing the chance to make a choice, and a single mistake could mean death.
The protagonist has an intelligence advantage (a bug in his soul skill), waiting for the opponent to hesitate when they lack vision. This is the opponent's mistake, and seizing it allows him to turn defeat into victory.
Emmm, the Soul Emperor and Soul King are indeed not stupid. But you can't write about every possible scenario in a book, right? Do you have to add narration saying, "If the Soul Emperor or Soul King had done something at a certain moment, the outcome would have been very different, and the protagonist would definitely have been killed," and so on.
A book must have the protagonist win; otherwise, what kind of protagonist is it? With countless possibilities in a battle, I can't just choose the most disadvantageous one for the protagonist, can I? How unlucky would the protagonist be, never encountering an opportunity? If I wrote about an exceptionally difficult enemy and the protagonist's frequent defeats, readers probably wouldn't like it; it's too cruel to the protagonist.
Unless the protagonist is much stronger than the enemy, needing no scheming, just crushing them all.
But crushing them leads to one consequence: going back to point 1, if the opponent can't win, they'll run away; if they can't escape, they'll self-destruct.
How do you deal with that?
There are countless possibilities; you can't cover them all.
Returning to point 1, the Soul Emperor's strength is too high; the Terrorclaw Bear isn't truly ten thousand years old. Can it withstand him? I've considered changing the Soul Emperor to the Soul King, but I'm still hesitant. After the change, will they have the psychological advantage to kill the protagonist? Give me some time; I need to think about whether to change it or not.
That concludes the explanation.
My ramblings:
My abilities are limited, and my writing may not be very good. I'm trying my best, and I hope everyone will understand.
Writing fanfiction is a thankless task. I used to think that following the original timeline and outline would be relatively easy, a good way to practice. But
after writing, I realized that writing fanfiction is very difficult, much harder than original work.
Because it's based on the original work, which has already been established, many people have different opinions, leading to many different criticisms and suggestions for fanfiction.
It's not easy to cater to all opinions.
With original work, there aren't so many problems; the author has all the right to interpret.
I want the traffic of fanfiction, but I also want the freedom and interpretation rights of original work. It's difficult…
Goodnight, everyone.
Next volume: The Dragon Appears in the Field.
See you in Tiandou City.
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