The air in the core chamber was so heavy it felt suffocating. Aside from the deafening hum coming from the core, the only sound left was Aqua's broken sobbing.
Kōichi and Kazuma stared at each other through the sparks and steam swirling all around them. Both their gazes were unusually complicated, filled with a deep blend of "better you than me," "whoever speaks first takes the blame," and "how did I ever get mixed up with trash like you?"
"Hey, Kōichi, what's with that look?" Kazuma was the first to break the silence. He wiped the soot from his face, wearing an expression of extreme disgust. "You're the captain, aren't you? At a time like this, shouldn't you be thumping your chest and saying, 'Leave it to me, you guys get out of here,' then stay behind and heroically sacrifice yourself? I'll burn the latest Succubus photo book for you every Tomb-Sweeping Day. I mean it."
"Cut the crap, Kazuma." Kōichi sneered, his eyes colder than the white light coming from the core. "You're the man with EX-class luck. According to the script, as long as you casually lean against that core, or even blurt out some coordinates, Wiz's random teleportation will definitely send it straight into some deserted canyon by perfect coincidence. So this blame... no, this noble duty of saving the world has to fall on you."
"Um... you two, please stop arguing!" Wiz was so anxious she was on the verge of tears. Her normally gentle eyes were now full of guilt and fear. "My random teleportation really is unstable! What if... what if it goes to the Royal Capital, or into some innocent civilian's home? With an explosion that powerful... I-I could never repay that debt in my whole life!!"
"Huh?! Debt?!"
Aqua, who had been slumped on the ground, jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on the instant she heard that word.
"No way! Absolutely not! If we have to repay a debt, what happens to my drinking money? What happens to my luxury offerings? Wiz, you useless Lich, hurry up and think of somewhere completely safe!!"
"I-I can't, Aqua-sama!!"
Wiz crouched down, clutching her head.
Kōichi watched the countdown flickering on the core. The white light was already so blinding he could barely keep his eyes open, and he could even feel the hairs on his body standing on end from the terrifying mana fluctuations.
Kōichi looked back at Kazuma and found him staring hard at him too. In that instant, the two of them reached a silent understanding that only scumbags could share.
"In that case..."
Kōichi and Kazuma spoke at the same time.
"Wiz! Forget whether it's random or not! Just teleport it!!" Kōichi roared. "If it blows up here, Axel is finished! We'll be reduced to atoms and sent straight to Eris! I don't care where it goes, as long as it isn't here! Even if it ends up in the house of that nasty lord who only knows how to collect taxes all day, that's still fine!!"
"Exactly! As long as it's not us! Hurry, Wiz, it's going to blow! It's going to blow!!"
Kazuma frantically waved his arms as well.
"Uuu... I understand! I'll do my best!!"
Wiz gritted her teeth and thrust both hands forward. A purple-black teleportation circle instantly covered the entire core.
"Teleportation Magic!!!"
A flash of intense light burst out, and the deafening hum stopped abruptly.
The massive Coronatite core that had taken up half the core chamber vanished in an instant, leaving only debris scattered across the floor and Wiz collapsed from using too much magic.
A deathly silence fell over the core chamber.
"Hah... hah..." Kazuma sat down hard on the floor, gasping for breath. "It... it got teleported away? We survived?"
"Probably."
Kōichi wiped away his sweat and turned to Wiz.
"Hey, Wiz, just now... where exactly did you teleport it?"
Wiz raised her head, her face pale as paper and her voice trembling badly.
"I-I don't know... I was only desperately thinking, 'Please go to some rich family's house, so they can afford to pay for the damage after the explosion'... and then... then it disappeared..."
Kōichi and Kazuma looked at each other again. A powerful sense of dread instantly settled over both of them.
"Huh?! Are you trying to pin this on me?!"
Kazuma sprang up like a cat with its tail stepped on and pointed at Kōichi's nose.
"Kōichi, you're the one who told Wiz to send it to some rich person's house! I heard you loud and clear! If the lord's castle gets blown up, I'm telling everyone it was you, the sadistic captain, who ordered an innocent shopkeeper to do it for your own selfish reasons!"
"Cut the nonsense, Kazuma! You came up with the idea, and you brought Wiz here. I was only exercising reasonable command authority as the captain!" Kōichi fired back without backing down, his eyes full of a resolve that said he would drag everyone down with him if he had to. "Besides, Aqua nodded too, didn't you, Aqua?"
"Huh? I-I only wanted to drink red wine. I don't know anything! I'm a pure Goddess, so how could I possibly take part in a conspiracy like that..."
Aqua guiltily looked away, twisting the edge of her feather mantle between her fingers.
Just as the three of them stood in the wreckage accusing one another, shifting blame, and even starting to plan how to commit perjury in court, the entire core chamber suddenly shook violently.
"THUD!!"
A dull metallic impact came from deep beneath their feet. Immediately afterward, all the pipes that had gone dark suddenly lit up again with a faint green glow.
"W-Wait! Wasn't the core already teleported away?!"
Wiz grabbed the wall and stood up in terror.
"Why am I sensing magic again? It's weak, but... the Destroyer is moving again!!"
As if answering Wiz, the lazy middle-aged male voice from earlier sounded again through the damaged speaker. This time, it carried a hint of smug mischief.
"Yo, thieves still loitering in the core chamber. I forgot to tell you. As a perfect Mobile Fortress, how could it possibly not have something like a backup battery? The Coronatite is gone, but the remaining magic is enough to execute the final program."
Kōichi and Kazuma froze at the same time, struck by a premonition even worse than the core self-destructing.
"Program activated: [Final Stroll]. Target: the nearest human town straight ahead. Before its energy runs out, the Destroyer will use its last strength to launch a suicide charge toward Axel. Oh, and to prevent the pilots from escaping, all exits have been locked. Enjoy the trip, and bring me back some tonkatsu donburi while you're at it..."
"Clack!"
Every hatch locked shut in an instant. The entire Destroyer roared like an awakening metal giant, a sound that set their teeth on edge, and its enormous body began lumbering forward once more.
"Aaaaaah! It's going to crash into the town! It's going to take us with it and crash straight into the town!!"
Aqua let out a scream that pierced the heavens and clung desperately to Kōichi's staff.
"Kōichi! Think of something! I haven't lived enough yet! I haven't seen Eris make that miserable crying face yet!!"
"Damn it! Just how badly did that ancient researcher want tonkatsu donburi?!"
Kazuma shouted in despair as he kicked the locked alloy door like a madman.
Kōichi looked at the slightly tilted floor and felt that unstoppable momentum, his mind racing.
The core was gone. Wiz was out of magic. Darkness was off to the side, drooling while enjoying the vibrations. Megumin was still drooling on Kazuma's back.
So this was what they called... out of the frying pan and into the fire?