The BBQ Party was either a massive success, a total disaster, or simultaneously both of those things, depending entirely on whom you asked.
According to Maya Torres, it was the greatest party in the history of Spring Break. According to several girls present, it was a perfect celebration of friendship, freedom, and questionable decision-making. According to Aaron Chase, it was unpaid manual labor disguised as a social gathering which also happened to violate every known noise ordinance. And according to Miguel Hernández, it was a logistical nightmare held together almost singlehandedly by his ability to grill food while pretending he wasn't surrounded by lunatics — his girlfriend included in that assessment.
Under the royal decree of Queen Maya and the unanimous vote of the Council of Women, the Boyfriends Squad was tasked with hauling giant speakers, folding tables, beach chairs, and a grill all the way down to the shore.
"Remember this day," Ethan declared as he carried a table with Magnus. "History will remember us as brave warriors."
"History will remember us as idiots carrying furniture," Aaron replied.
"Same thing!"
"How is that the same thing?!"
"Bravery and stupidity are often the same thing separated only by perspective."
"No, they're not!"
"Agree to disagree, bro."
Once everything was set up, Maya contributed by plugging her phone into the speakers and immediately blasting a playlist that was either perfect party music or wildly inappropriate and far too Maya — again, depending entirely on whom you asked.
Miguel manned the grill with the focused competence of someone who had decided this was his domain and intended to defend it. Carmen stationed herself beside him. Her main job, supposedly, was making sure her boyfriend ate enough. Her secondary job, apparently, was stealing approximately half the food she was making sure he ate. It was a delicate balance, but she managed it somehow. Magnus had honestly found it very impressive.
Ethan, meanwhile, was retelling the grocery store incident to anyone who would listen over the loud music, each retelling somehow more elaborate and dramatic than the last.
"So there I was," he said dramatically, "facing three armed criminals alone—"
"You were not alone." Aaron interrupted.
"—with only my superior intelligence and natural charm. Also, I was alone during this part."
"You were never alone. And you distracted them with a joke about paperwork."
"A joke to psychologically dismantle them. They were terrified by what I said."
"They were confused."
"Close enough."
"Not even remotely."
"Anyway, then Aaron—" Ethan clapped a hand on Aaron's shoulder and continued, "—realizing my incredible courage had inspired him—"
"The guy was either distracted or about to shoot you. Either way, I took the opening."
"So you admitted I did help. Heroically."
"You were an idiot who almost got yourself shot."
"Like I said, bro, the difference between bravery and stupidity is just a matter of perspective."
Aaron was about to argue again when a shadow darted past and stole food off his plate.
Other people there also had been noticing their food periodically disappearing all evening. They all turned to see a raccoon running away with Aaron's grilled meat. A moment later, it hopped onto Magnus's shoulder and started eating the stolen prize.
"Bro!" Ethan pointed. "You have a pet raccoon?"
Tony stopped eating. His tiny head slowly turned toward Ethan. Then he hissed and made a series of offended chittering sounds.
Magnus dragged a tired hand down his face. "Something like that. Please don't ask!"
Before anyone could continue investigating the mystery of Magnus and his apparently offended raccoon companion, Maya got drunk. Which was fortunate for Magnus and unfortunate for everyone else.
She got up on a chair with a microphone in her hand. "EVERYBODY!"
Everyone turned.
"Where did you even find that microphone?" Alex asked.
"I'm resourceful," Maya replied. "Besides, what kind of party host would I be if I hadn't prepared a microphone?"
"You're not the host!"
"I am. Self-appointed!"
Alex pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Anyway," Maya continued. "IT'S KARAOKE TIME!"
That divided the crowd — some cheered loudly, others groaned, a few just looked tired and resigned.
The next hour consisted of a collection of questionable musical performances, several arguments over song choices, and Chloe apologizing for Maya's existence at least six separate times. Several unfortunate souls were dragged into singing against their will — some were good, some were terrible. There was even a particular instance when Ethan and Aaron performed a duet together under Maya's coercion. Ethan sang the girl's part so badly it was entertaining while Aaron, despite having a decent voice, was rubbing his temple through the entire song.
Eventually, the party wound down. The grill was cleaned, the tables folded, and everything carried back to the beach house. Then, exhausted, everyone naturally split and returned to their assigned rooms.
As Carmen, Rachel, and Camila updated their boyfriends about Operation: Belated Birthday Party, Magnus and Alex were having a very different kind of discussion.
Alex was straddled in his lap, and she was kissing him. After several minutes of that, she finally pulled back enough to whisper against his mouth:
"So, we haven't roleplayed my fantasy in a while."
He stared at her. "Alex! There are people staying in rooms right next to ours!"
"And?"
"And they can hear us?"
She rolled her eyes. "That's the whole point."
He blinked. "Explain."
"Babe, the story we're telling them is that we're a couple who likes experimenting, remember?" She raised his head with a finger under his chin. "If we aren't even comfortable with them knowing we have a sex life, the story won't exactly be convincing."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "If we just need to be heard, can't we just… I don't know, fake it?"
She stared at him like he was insane for even suggesting that. "No. Absolutely not. We're doing this for real."
"Why?"
Alex sighed exasperatedly and held up one finger. "First of all, you can't act to save your life, and if it's just me moaning, they're going to get suspicious about what we're actually doing in here." She raised a second finger. "Second of all, are you sure you can just sit here and stay uninvolved if I lay down right over there," she whispered into his ear while jabbing her thumb at the bed behind them, "and start touching myself? If not, why go through all that trouble? Let's just get started on what we're going to end up doing anyway." She leaned back to look him in the eyes again and held up a third finger. "Lastly, and most importantly, I'm not going to deny myself the pleasure of having you pin me against that wall and aggressively claim me as yours."
He swallowed hard.
Alex felt the bulge forming under her and knew she had already won. So she went for the kill:
"Also, you still owe me for giving all my food to Tony."
He blinked. "I thought the birthday party I'm not allowed to refuse was the payment for that?"
"Oh, that was just the main clause." She waved dismissively. "This is an additional clause. One of many."
He stared at her. "How many additional clauses are there?"
She smiled impishly. "I haven't decided yet."
His eyes narrowed. "You're just going to hang that one mistake over my head for all eternity whenever you want to guilt trip me into something, aren't you?"
"Good. You're learning." She smiled and pecked him on the lips. "Now, are we getting started or not? I've been thinking about this all night."
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "For the record, I think this is a terrible idea."
"Uh huh."
"But fine. You win," he exhaled. "We're really doing this."
The next second, his mouth crashed onto hers and he snapped into character.
As they got into character, loudly and enthusiastically, they soon found Alex's little plan worked out a little… too well. Because a few minutes later, moaning sounds could be heard from another bedroom in the beach house. More specifically, Ethan and Camila's.
Alex giggled. "Oh my. Looks like we might have accidentally started a competition."
Magnus paused and blinked down at Alex in disbelief.
She smiled impishly back at him. "Well, we don't want to lose to them now, do we?"
She shook her body seductively against his telekinetic bindings. "Come on! Show all of them how I'm completely yours."
He groaned and muttered something about this being a terrible idea but picked up the pace anyway.
Things only escalated from there.
A few minutes later, another couple decided to enter the competition: Rachel and Aaron.
Then shortly after that, Carmen and Miguel followed.
The sounds of couples having sex echoed through the walls and vents of the beach house like a horny concert, effectively reminding everyone currently in the building that Sofia's parents had definitely not designed their beach house with this specific situation in mind.
Eventually, even Maya and Chloe's voices joined in. At which point, all other couples collectively arrived at the conclusion that this had probably gone far enough, and the sounds gradually died down, giving way to peace and quiet once again.
In the quiet and mortifying aftermath of what had just occurred, Magnus got a System notification:
[You Have Leveled Up.]
[System Notification: Level 7 Reached. Power Sharing Function Unlocked.]
He stared at the notification. Then decided that he was too tired to even care what it was about right then. So, he cuddled up to Alex and let himself drift to sleep instead.
***
The next morning, when everyone came downstairs for breakfast, the single people — and Nicole, who was technically not single but had arrived without her boyfriend — greeted the emerging couples with death glares that suggested they were all currently considering homicide.
Nicole set her coffee mug down on the dining table and looked at Sofia.
"I would like to formally file a noise complaint," she said, "and request a full refund for my vacation."
"Seconded," Tori slammed her hand down on the table. "We should have charged all the couples a noise pollution fee."
Katie looked up from her notebook. "Last night was either excellent research material for my future books or a traumatic experience I'll never recover from." She paused. "I genuinely don't know which yet."
Ethan looked entirely unbothered. In fact, he looked proud. He glanced around at the assembled couples, then made his announcement:
"I think we can all agree that last night, I outboyfriended every single one of you!"
Camila didn't say anything, but she visibly puffed up next to her boyfriend.
"That's not even a word—" Aaron started to say before he was cut off.
"Nuh uh." Maya's voice could be heard from upstairs before she even appeared. "Me and my girl definitely blew all of you out of the water last night! It's not even close."
Chloe trailed behind Maya with her face hidden in her hands.
"It wasn't a competition!" Aaron snapped.
Rachel looked at her boyfriend for a moment. Then committed the ultimate betrayal.
"Who was it that said, 'I'm not letting Ethan Zhang win anything' again?"
"I never said that."
"Right. Your exact words were: 'There's no way in hell I'm losing to that clown!' "
Ethan beamed. "Bro! So you do care!"
Aaron looked like he wanted to walk into the ocean and never return.
Miguel rubbed a hand down his face. "Idiots."
Carmen looked at him. "You say that like you weren't a literal beast last night."
"For the record," Miguel argued, slowly and carefully, "I wanted to ignore them all and just cuddle. It was you who decided we couldn't just lose to the other couples."
"Maybe I did start it," Carmen said. "But I know my body, and I know yours. And last night you were definitely more riled up than usual. I'm sore in places I didn't even know I had right now."
The entire room went silent.
Then Jasmine picked up her orange juice, sipped it, and muttered. "This is why I prefer staying single."
Meanwhile, the architect of all this, Alejandra "Alex" Reyes, walked toward the kitchen with a serene and innocent smile, as if she hadn't been the original instigator who started the chain reaction that was last night's madness. Magnus followed her, blushing furiously and rubbing his temples as he went.