Allison's Point of View
Blood...
I saw blood dripping from his hand as he broke the fragile glass with his hand. His confused eyes remained fixed on me, oblivious to the blood on his hand.
"What? Tell me, I heard it wrong."
I saw pain in his eyes while saying those words. I couldn't answer because I couldn't stop the sobs from my mouth and something was stuck in my throat.
My eyes are blurry from the thickness of my tears, but the pain is more overwhelming. The pain inside that I have hurt her again for the second time.
"Allison. Tell me please..."
"L-Lux... You didn't recognize me as Allison. I introduced myself as Samantha."
His frown remained, but unlike before, I could clearly see the pain and anguish in his eyes. I was bringing back the past that he had buried for a long time.
He laughed softly before looking at his hand. I covered my mouth when he showed me the crystals in his hand.
"I don't understand but," his hand trembled before he dropped the glass on the floor. "It hurts me. It hurts worse than my bleeding hand. Why?" He bit his lip to restrain his emotions.
I almost fainted when I saw the look of hatred in his eyes. Oh, fuck this life! I hate my life. I hate myself for hurting this man. Can't I right my wrongs? Yes, I think.
"But, I still don't believe you." He laughed weakly again. "It's impossible that you became a secretary because Samantha was the first secretary of Hell University and please... Don't use her name." I saw anger flash through his eyes.
Oh, God! How can I make him understand? Can he understand? Maybe, yes. He will understand me but he will not forgive me.
"Three newbies," I said, stopping him. "Hanz, Winzy, Samantha." His eyes became more intense when I mentioned the last name.
"Do you think you can convince me? You probably just used the skills you're trying to get this information. Stop this shit. Don't ever mention his name again."
I wiped my eyes vigorously and somehow I also felt angry at what he said.
He is again...
"Is that so?" I asked. "But, I know something you don't know and only we know." I grinned.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I remembered my sin against them. Only one thing was running through my mind at this moment, 'after tonight I will be alone.'
I've lost my family. I've lost my brother and I've lost this man. How am I going to face tomorrow? Shit. I need to be strong.
"I'm not interested anymore." He said coldly before approaching Ace.
Zein is being comforted, sobbing.
I'm sorry... I really am.
I don't want to keep a secret from you. I failed you, my brother. You'll never be able to forgive me, I know. But I hope you can forgive Ace.
Ace, who was only implicated because of me... Thank you. Thank you because up until this point, in the most painful part of ending the secrets, you still protected me. I will be forever grateful to you and I will cherish this debt. Thank you... Thank you, Alas.
"Alas, isn't there a secret way out of here?" He asked Ace who wasn't moving. "I've forgotten where it is. Will I ever forget? I can't remember anything because..." He pointed to his chest. "It hurts so much, I can't remember anything because I'm so overwhelmed with emotion." He groaned, causing me to gasp for air.
Even though he wasn't looking at me, he knew.
I feel like her tears are about to fall. I want to laugh, I want to laugh. It's funny how I want to end my life to stop the pain I feel but I can't.
I have been a coward and I will never be a coward again to escape this problem. My sin is enough.
I've had enough. I just need to finish this.
"Alas. Let me out. Please. I-I can't take it anymore."
Ace shook his head and pushed Raze away from him slightly. "Listen to her first. After all, I'll be the one to get you out." I saw sadness pass through Ace's eyes as he looked at his brother.
Raze looked at me with his eyes wide open. "What else should I listen to? Everything she says is a lie. She's a fuckin' great liar. She's so good at lying that he's convinced me," he said firmly.
I just smiled at the pain of the words he said.
"If you think, I'm a liar. Then, please. Listen to my lies."
Her head tilted to the side and ruffled her hair. She snorted at Ace before looking back at me.
"I'll give you 5 minutes."
I can explain everything in five minutes, but I don't know how many years it will take for him to forgive me or if he will ever forgive me. Still, it's my chance.
"It wasn't an accident that we entered Hell University," I began.
Raze grinned at me because of what I said.
"Everything is planned. Everything is my plan. I control what comes in and goes out." It became his eyes were interested. "Hell University was my first project before finally joining the group I'm in now." I suddenly remembered those times.
Those times when I was overwhelmed by problems because I thought I would never get in and achieve my dreams. It's funny how because of my desperation, I made promises.
"Winzy. I used her dad. I used her father to convince her to come with me. I promised that I would help her get her father back from the syndicates if she accepted my offer to come with me here... At Hell University." My heart skipped a beat. "But, I failed. I couldn't save her father." I sobbed when I remembered and saw her unconscious father.
"Because you didn't help him..." I was surprised to hear his voice in my ear behind. Winzy stood there crying.
Hanz was next to her, trying to calm her down. "Isn't that right, sister? You just lied?" she asked.
I shook my head and approached him.
He didn't move away or even move from where he was standing. "I tried, Winzy. God knows, I tried to save him." I tried to explain but he pushed away my hand that I was hoping would hold his.
"You didn't."
"I did!"
"But why?! Why did he die?"
I suddenly remembered when I tried to save his father. "I saved him, Win," I whispered.
His eyes widened and he was clearly confused.
"I got him out, Win. But he came back. I fucking tried to stop him, but he thought more about the money he left behind." He sobbed at what I said.
"That time I couldn't save him. He was caught, I tried to save your father again but a battalion of armed men had already arrived. I was just a newbie at that time. I wasn't very familiar with holding a gun yet." I shook my head as I remembered what happened next.
"Your father tried to fight..." I just shook my head because I couldn't talk anymore because it hurt.
I saw Winzy smile so I knew that at least she understood me.
"I'm sorry, Win. I couldn't give you back your am---" I was stunned when he hugged me.
"Sister... Sister, I'm sorry. I thought... I thought you abandoned him." She sobbed.
Her body was shaking. "I didn't know that was what happened," she whispered.
I just smiled. Thank you and at least someone managed to hug me. I thought everyone was going to hate me.
"Your five minutes are up."
I let go of Winzy and looked at Raze who was looking at us.
"Brother..." Ace said worriedly. "Please... Let's finish this." Ace begged.
He didn't speak, so I spoke again.
"Sister Samantha---"
"Sister?"
I nodded. "Sister Samantha is my twin. She was lost to us when she was young. I was the first to meet her but I didn't introduce her right away," I said. "I promised her that after we finished Hell University, I would introduce her to us." I looked at Hanz.
"Hanz went with him," I whispered.
It has no emotion at all.
"Then, why are you claiming yourself as her?"
I swallowed as I realized I was about to reveal the secret we had been hiding. "Y-Because, it wasn't just three of us who went to Hell University. There were four of us," I replied.
"I guess I don't like where your lies are going anymore? Can we stop it?"
"No," I said firmly. "I started it. Sister Samantha wasn't the only one who was with m---"
"I said, stop!"
"Because you were with me too! We swapped! When I leave Hell University to report outside, he's the one you're with."
"Fuck! Please, stop there..." Tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head and pointed at her chest. "You're killing me," she sobbed.
"I'm sorry..." I tried to come closer but he moved away again. "Baby plea---"
"Don't call me that way you fucking liar! Get away from me."
Oh God!
The pain...
Even though I was already hurting so much, I still tried to continue. "You were with him more often than me. I never thought he would fall for you." I fell to my knees as I completely weakened. My knees couldn't take the pain anymore. "I-I never thought you would fall for him too. Too late... It was too late when I found out... I found out that you loved him too back then... I fell for you too." I sobbed after saying that.
I can't hear anything else now but our cries. Raze... Zein... Winzy... We have filled this house with cries.
"Darling, stop crying..." Ace calmed Zein down.
They are lucky to have each other and I am happy for my brother.
"Samantha... Baby, I'm sorry." Raze said, looking up. "We're disturbing you again," he whispered.
"Lux, I love you..."
He looked at me and wiped his eyes. "I don't love you. I never loved you. It's only Samantha... Sa.man.tha... Not. A.lli.son." He said firmly.
Only. The pain. Extreme pain can be fatal.
"Take it easy, Raze." Zein warned. "Think about Ate Alli too---"
"Why? Did they think of me? They tricked me! They made me believe lies! They made me stupid and I was the one who was stupid, so convincing."
"Brother, don't yell at Zein."
Shit! Everything is confusing because of me. Only me. I'm the reason why this is happening and I'll be the reason their relationships are destroyed.
I don't deserve to be happy...
"Are you done?" Raze asked me. Blood dripped from his clenched hand again. "Finish it so the pain is gone." I shivered when I felt the coldness of his voice.
"I was selfish. I didn't let my brother have you. I broke everything."
"The plan. I ruined everything. I betrayed my brother," I whispered.
"Bitch--- Damn!" He said.
"The night you were supposed to meet, I locked her in our room." I whispered. Her cheeks started to cry because of that. "I came here." I ransacked this house.
"I'm the one who met you here. I'm the one who spent the night with you. I'm the one you kissed until we were completely naked. We... We were the ones who had fun together that night... Samant wasn't---"
I held my cheek when I felt the pain coming from Raze's palm.
He slapped me.
His eyes widened at what he had done. "Shit... I-I a-am sor--- Damn!" He punched the floor and we heard the sound of his fist hitting it.
I couldn't move from where I was standing...
Hurt? Is that word enough to describe what I feel?
But, I know... I deserve more than one slap... Still... I feel so much pain.