"You're not acting like yourself today..."
I stood quietly in the hallway in front of Chairman Sakayanagi's office. He had summoned me after the pursuit incident.
Standing beside me was Chabashira-sensei, who had accompanied Sakura and me today. Yet suddenly, as we waited in the hallway for Sakura to come out of the office before I went in, she began saying strange things.
"Hmm... what do you mean?" I asked indifferently, glancing at her from the corner of my eye.
Leaning against the wall beside the office door with her arms crossed, she spoke without even opening her eyes.
"You're wearing a tie today... and besides that, you seem calmer than usual," she said, tapping her arm with a finger.
I looked down at my clothes. I was indeed wearing a blue tie with the school uniform.
Honestly, I didn't know why I had put it on that morning. I had simply felt a strange urge to do so without thinking much about it.
"Isn't being quiet my default state...?" I usually avoided talking to those around me and remained silent instead.
Even my classmates often forgot I existed because I never joined their conversations.
"Really?... Aren't you usually sighing heavily as if you're carrying the weight of the world, making sarcastic jokes, and complaining about everything around you?" Chabashira-sensei said.
That was terrifying. She had described my behavior with unsettling accuracy.
Had she been watching me?
"How do you know all that...?" I asked suspiciously.
Was she stalking me?
"Kid, stop looking at me like that... There's been a report on my desk about you since your first day of elementary school," she said while glancing at me sideways.
I lowered my gaze to the floor and stared at my shoes.
A report... that sounded familiar in this school. Especially if they selected their students carefully. Perhaps she had reports on every student in Class D.
There was no reason to panic.
I knew my academic life well enough. It had been dull—going back and forth between home and school while trying not to attract attention so people wouldn't mock me.
"It was boring, wasn't it..." I said as I raised my right leg and rested it against the wall behind me.
"In general, yes... but the past few years were quite interesting."
I looked at her again, unable to understand what she meant.
Chabashira-sensei sighed in annoyance at my inability to grasp it.
"The Service Club."
Hmm...
I hadn't heard those words in a long time.
But even then, there wasn't anything particularly special about it.
"I never expected someone like you to volunteer to help other students," she said, observing me from head to toe as though reassessing me.
"It wasn't help in the literal sense. You could say I was forced into it," I replied.
I remembered well how we accepted every request with difficulty, eventually leaving me with no choice but to help too.
"Are you being forced to help students here as well?" she asked.
"Huh?... But I haven't helped anyone here," I answered, surprised by her words.
"Yes, you're right. You haven't helped anyone," she said as if eager to end the conversation.
She really knew a lot.
And why was she talking to me about this?
Perhaps because it was information about me. Maybe she wouldn't reveal information about other students.
Silence once again took over after Chabashira-sensei and I decided not to continue the conversation.
Until the door opened and a girl with long pink hair stepped out in her school uniform.
"H-Hik... Hikigaya-kun... the chairman is waiting for you," Sakura said after closing the door behind her and standing in the hallway.
As always, she avoided eye contact.
She really was shy.
I pushed myself away from the wall and stood before the principal's office door.
I cast a brief glance at the nameplate before placing my hand on the doorknob.
"I'll wait for you here, so hurry up and finish," Chabashira-sensei said.
"You don't have to wait for me... you can leave," I replied.
She hadn't come today as our escort, nor had she gone inside. I would finish quickly and leave.
"Hmm... all right then."
Chabashira-sensei nodded before giving me one final look and walking down the hallway behind Sakura.
Well...
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.
Behind it sat Chairman Sakayanagi, his white hair and usual gentle smile making him appear calm as he sat behind his desk.
Though he seemed much gentler than his daughter and lacked the malice burning within her eyes, I still felt uneasy in his presence.
He knew everything.
And he had called me here.
"Welcome, Hikigaya-kun... it's wonderful to see you again. Please, have a seat," the chairman greeted me, gesturing toward the chair before him.
I simply nodded so as not to be rude.
Sitting quietly, I placed my hands on my knees and looked at him with tired eyes.
"How are you doing, Hikigaya-kun?" he asked, as though checking on my condition.
"...Fine."
He smiled faintly before interlocking his fingers and resting them on the desk.
"You look exhausted, so let's finish this quickly... Could you tell me everything that happened from the beginning?"
There it was again.
He was making me explain things he already knew.
What was this? A test of honesty?
It was one of the things that irritated me the most.
"Chairman, why should I tell you things you already know?" I asked flatly.
The chairman blinked several times in surprise before responding.
"It would be better to hear the story from multiple perspectives so that we can form a clearer picture. Besides, each person tells events in their own way, which may reveal details we'd otherwise overlook."
I sighed slowly.
In the end, he simply wanted me to talk.
"The cameras..."
The chairman raised an eyebrow, unable to understand my meaning.
"The cameras are neutral parties. They won't distort the story. They'll recount everything exactly as it happened—with sound and images," I said while slowly rubbing my hands against my trousers.
The chairman remained silent for a moment, merely staring at me again.
It was uncomfortable.
I felt itchy all over whenever I thought I was being watched.
After a brief silence, he chuckled softly before smiling.
"You're quite unique, Hikigaya-kun. Not many people would dare speak that way to a school chairman."
Unique, huh...
If it had been Chabashira-sensei, she probably would've called me rude.
"What truly makes you unique is your willingness to help others. You didn't hesitate to save a helpless girl from an attacker in a dark alley," the chairman said.
Help?
Didn't hesitate?
That wasn't true at all.
I had hesitated countless times. I had even tried to return to the dormitory and leave her behind.
But that wasn't what the chairman wanted to hear.
Even if I said it, he'd probably respond with something like, 'Really? Yet your actions prove otherwise.'
I always tried to think before acting.
I imagined the worst-case scenario so I wouldn't crash into a wall later.
And that made me hesitate.
That was the truth about me.
"I didn't help her... I just happened to be there," I said.
I truly believed that.
If I hadn't left class early that day and wandered around to kill time, I might never have crossed paths with them.
I might never even have heard about the incident.
"Really?... Hikigaya, if someone asked for your help, would you refuse?" the chairman asked.
What kind of test was this?
"Hmm... Well, if I were forced to help, I'd probably try," I answered.
The chairman nodded as though expecting that response.
"Then... if I personally asked you to help another student, would you do it?"
This time, there was greater pressure behind his gaze.
As though he wanted my genuine answer.
A request from the chairman?
To help another student?
Would it matter if I knew who it was?
"I'd probably agree... since I've grown used to this kind of request," I answered.
Perhaps the Service Club syndrome still lingered within me.
"Really... perhaps choosing you wasn't a mistake after all," the chairman murmured.
I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand what he meant.
But I couldn't.
"Anyway, let's return to the matter at hand. The employee has been dismissed, and we intend to pursue legal action against him for what he did. There will be no turning back. Therefore, I'd like to ask you—would you also like to pursue legal action?"
Legal action?
"Can I do that?" I asked.
I hadn't realized that a mere fight in an alley could develop into something like this.
"Yes. You could even receive compensation."
I stared at my hands resting on my knees.
The man's crime had been attacking the girl.
His attack on me had only happened after I intervened.
So...
"No."
"Are you certain?" the chairman asked.
"Yes."
The chairman picked up a pen and wrote something on a small memo before looking at me again.
"Very well. We will respect your decision. Also, we have a school counselor available should you ever feel the need to speak with someone."
A counselor?
I didn't understand what he meant.
"Why would I need a counselor?"
"Well... in some cases, experiencing traumatic events may require psychological support to overcome. I simply wanted to inform you."
I'd received enough shocks throughout my life.
You could say I'd built immunity against them.
"I'll keep that in mind," I replied, merely waiting for the moment I could finally leave.
"We're finished. You may go."
At last, salvation had arrived through the chairman.
I stood from my chair and gave a slight nod before turning to leave.
"Ah... that's right."
The chairman's voice stopped me as though he'd suddenly remembered something.
I turned back to face him.
"There's no need to mention this incident to the other students out of respect for the girl's privacy. We'll inform the others who were present that day as well."
That made sense.
There was no need for the news to spread.
By "the others," he probably meant Ichinose and Ayanokouji.
"Understood."
"Thank you for coming today, Hikigaya-kun. You may go now... Enjoy your summer vacation. At this school, it's certainly a memorable one."
A memorable summer vacation...
Did he mean memorable because of all the trouble?
Whatever.
I opened the door and stepped back into the hallway.
Even though the conversation had been brief, it had felt as though it lasted for hours.
It was exhausting.
As I walked down the corridor, the events of recent days replayed endlessly in my mind, as if engraved into my memory in perfect detail.
You won't understand weakness until you've experienced it yourself.
Even if you pretend to understand out of humility or submission.
Even if you've always been weak and merely ignored it.
You still won't understand.
Not until you're confronted with the bitter truth.
A school that won't hesitate to punish the innocent if the evidence condemns them.
Students who know nothing but violence.
Human wolves who roam freely within these walls.
Normally, I'd ignore all of this.
Being mocked or hurt had never mattered much to me before.
But now, things were different.
There were things I cared about.
Things it was my duty to protect.
No...
They were my responsibility.
Which meant there was no room to stand here and accept my own weakness.
I placed my fingers on my tie and pulled hard until it loosened, undoing the top button of my shirt as I usually did.
Taking the blue tie in my hand, I wrapped it tightly around my left fist until only the tips of my fingers remained visible, red from the pressure.
I stared at my hand for a moment before lowering it and continuing forward.
There was no turning back anymore.