Looking at the white thread, this symbolism of his perfectly connected to the faintly golden string.
A black texture now mostly swallowed the original golden lure of the string of fate… nothing happened.
He tilted his head slightly.
Does it not work? Did my attempt fail?
It did make contact, though.
They are definitely touching.
That's progress I bel-
Before Nox could ask any more questions or make any more observations, his neck pulled back in a sudden motion, the white thread of his turning bright gold, then black.
It assumed the colors of the string of fate!
Nox's pupils widened.
Countless pictures flew by.
His horizons… expanded.
The pictures sped up until they became a haze. Still images became vivid, lively, and real, a certain attraction pulling his mind toward them.
He was being sucked in!
***
In a dirty alley, weathered by the hand of time, the air stunk of piss and shit, yet none of this registered to me.
At this moment, it was nothing but a blur, a background noise.
"Dont do it."
Sob sob sob
"Why do you want this so much? Why can't we just stay the way we are?!"
Hearing this, I lifted my gaze and met the anguished eyes of a small child, tears cutting silent tracks down her trembling face.
I placed my hand gently atop her head, patting softly as my gut twisted, torn by the urge to comfort my baby sister.
"This will bring us forward and give us a new hope to go on, a new guiding light.
D-Don't cry. This is good—It'll help us. In the long run, it means hope and a new life. Please believe me. Trust in me."
Telling her this, repeatedly, not knowing if I was reassuring her or myself.
I looked towards a dirty alleyway. A strange attraction, reforming space itself, curving it inward, as if the world were inviting me, calling me.
Standing up from my crouching position, lifting my hand from my sister's head, the feeling of her hair brushing against my rough skin lingered.
I looked back one last time, assessing the safety of Eli, who was now the last of my family.
This is for the best, I reassured myself, repeating it like a mantra.
"Wait here, sister, dont come any closer."
Since when did I have a sister? Feeling a bit estranged in my own life, I was straining under the emotions encompassing me.
Confused by my own thoughts, my body did not stop in the slightest, not showing any of my drifting thoughts.
Leaving her behind reluctantly, I walk straight into the alley, where the space seemed malformed, taking small, unsteady steps, moving forward at a crawl.
This is for the best! Reminding myself one more time, I started taking bigger steps, my speed increasing by the second.
This span of time might have been mere moments, yet felt like an eternity.
Each step was small, but of great importance to me.
A bit of excitement grew deep within, hopes for the future, expressing themself in a smile, as I took a final jump towards the malformed space, just about to reach it.
Before reaching it, however, the space started sucking me in with a strong attraction force, lifting me from my feet in an instant, as the once malformed space started to form into a vortex sucking in the surroundings, expanding and contracting.
"Ah, this isn't right!"
In mere seconds, nothing remained in the alley or its surroundings. A huge chunk of the surrounding buildings was swallowed up, leaving a lightless hole in the brightly illuminated city.
Floating in a dark void, debris all around, the rules of nature not having an effect on the surroundings.
Is this the Concept fragment? But shouldn't I make a connection with it instantly?
Searching with my eyes through the field of rubble nervously, I spot a black orb the size of a human floating in the midst of the debris, my body and everything else floating around in this seemingly endless space… slowly drifting towards it.
The larger pieces fly faster, while the smaller ones drift slowly.
Is that it? Is that my…our salvation? Is that my hope?
Watching the debris closest to it touch the orb, simply swallowed up a second later, maybe transported out of this never-ending expanse.
Gone, simply gone, disappeared as if they had never been there.
Watching as more and more fragments of debris floated towards the black orb, he himself was one of the many closing in on it, not resisting the flow, not even wanting to, certain expectations rising within, and even if he did try to resist, he would not know how.
Seeing a particularly big piece of rubble close in on the orb, I watched with a bit of interest to see how the orb would deal with something far beyond its size.
"Krack, bang, Krack."
The giant piece of rubble, just like that, broke into many small pieces, pressed into a smaller, more fitting form. It was a fear-inducing sight, especially since he was growing closer to the source of such destructive power.
If something in my belief were wrong or I had simply misunderstood, I could be crushed into small pieces, reduced to a mere past. Forgotten never to be seen again, well, that wasn't true, at least she would remember.
I was only briefly plagued by these thoughts as a much more important thing revealed itself.
After the big piece of rubble was fully ground to dust and disappeared into the orb, my thoughts stopped in their tracks.
Behind it floated a girl, not even reaching her teens.
Before giving it more thought, I reflexively screamed out.
"Sister! Sister!"
"No, no, no, this isn't right, this shouldn't be!"
Why, why isn't she answering!
Fear and anxiety surged, paralyzing me, as my motionless sister was dragged nearer to the black orb, blood streaking through her brown, deliquet hair, running down her forehead, some of the drops gliding off her pale skin, floating off into oblivion.
"Oh no."
The black orb, which had promised a new beginning, salvation, hope even, no longer emanated such radiance in my eyes. No, it flipped entirely.
A cold wave of dread crawled up my spine, tightening around my chest like an unbreakable chain. My breath caught as the realization sank in, and the hope I clung to just moments before evaporated, leaving only raw, scraping fear in its place.
I felt betrayed by my own faith, as if the very thing I trusted most had turned against me.
Panic bubbled beneath my skin and despair gnawed relentlessly at my thoughts, each heartbeat pounding out a frantic warning: everything I had hoped for was slipping away.
"Wake up, hurry! Get away from there!"
Starting to struggle, frantic, looking for a way to move toward her, wanting nothing more than to get her away from that black purple abyss. I shouted and screamed again and again, trying everything in my power.
She was not more than twenty meters away, but there might as well have been an ocean separating them, since moving in the vacuum, despite many attempts, was impossible.
The momentum with which I moved was determined by the orb, not by me.
Watching her grow in distance by the second, the attraction force towards the middle growing stronger, despair risked overwhelming me.
"Please dont!"
Seeing a big metal fragment coming toward me like an angel's blessing, I reached out without a second's hesitation, grabbed it, and pulled myself forward.
It worked. It was not much, but I moved forward a bit faster, reaching for another, and threw myself from one piece of debris to another, closing in faster and faster.
And yet it was not enough.
She was too close, too fast, for me to reach her before she reached the orb.
Screaming again as I tried my best to close the distance, her motionless body drifted towards the center of this space.
"Please, Eli, wake up."
A slight twitch of her brow revealed hope anew. Eli opened her eyes slowly, a bit dazzled, as she floated with more and more speed towards the orb.
"Comme here!!!"
Watching her, the dazed look quickly disappeared, replaced by confusion, as she was on the verge of tears.
I said, in a tone as calming as I could muster under the circumstances, some desperation still finding its way into my voice.
"Trust me, I-I'm your nig brother, throw yourself towards your brother."
Hearing this after a second of hesitation, she started fighting against the pull of the orb, slowing down the speed at which she was pulled in, her flimsy attempts showing little effect, but they gave her a fighting chance.
Why haven't I reached her yet!?
The space here was weird, as if it had been compressed at some points and elongated at others, making his earlier judgment less than reliable.
But they were getting closer. The only question was if he'd reach her before she reached the orb.
30 meters to her and 20 to the orb.
20 meters to her and 14 to the orb.
10 meters to her and 6 to the orb.
Four meters away, almost able to touch.
Just a bit more.
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, hope overwhelmed the exhaustion built up on the way. My heart pounded as I pushed myself forward, leaping off a particularly big piece, putting all my remaining strength into the jump, my hand trembling, stretching just a few centimeters from hers.
As they were only moments away from reuniting. Just behind her, a singular droplet of blood collided with the black orb, which began pulsating, emitting a starry, wave-like light.
Illuminated by the blue light, our hands touched.
"Bame!"
We were both thrown away.
Debris pierced my body as I lay weakly amid the wreckage. Where was she? Eli? Eli? There! Relief threatened to overwhelm—terror lingered, as I frantically cralled over.
"E-Eli, I'm so sorry for taking you to such danger! "
Standing there, she seemed fine.
Tears and snot poured out, mixing into a mucus, as I emptied out my heart.
"Your brother was foolish and selfish! I swear I'll do everything in my power to make it up to…
I-I, will…"
Before I could let out a sigh of relief, however. A question arose.
I stopped in my tracks. What happened to the concept fragment? It didn't fuse with me!
Looking at me, Eli wore a bitter-sweet smile, and a red fluid ran down the corner of her small, delicate lip.
"It's not your fault."
"What? What's wron…"
Before I could continue the sentence.
"Crack"
She fell to the ground, her body violently convulsing.
Before even registering what happened, I jumped up, ignoring the flesh wounds marring my body, ignoring the pain, hugging her convulsing body, shaking it, riddled by panic, trying to stop the convulsions.
"No, no, please no, this can't be!" I pleaded in vain.
"Anyone, help! Please help!!" I screamed in vain.
Watching, powerless to do anything, her body started folding in on itself, flesh torn, as blood vessels started popping all across her body.
"No, No! no. n-no" I cried in vain.
As snot and tears blurred my vision, my sister's body broke down, convulsing ever more, all attempts in vain, folding into a single point.
I watched, powerless to do anything. From this day, no one but me would be able to remember her and who she was.
"This can't be. This isn't real. T-this isn't my fault… right? No… it can't be!"
Despair swallowed me whole, my body cold and mind on the brink of shattering, unable to comprehend or act in the face of her suffering, her inevitable demise.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhha"
Letting out a loud howl, cries freely escaping my lips, until my voice failed.
Tears ran rampant until my eyes ran dry.
As I stared at the newly built orb, mad out of the remains of his sister, nothing of her left, unrecognizable to even her own brother, nothing familiar about it.
She was gone.
"Bang"
A blue starlight wave illuminated the surroundings for a second, as I fell to the ground unconscious, the orb gone, the last remnants of Eli never to be seen again, gone up into nothingness.
***
Waking up in a hospital, with an apathetic expression on my face, feeling drained of all emotions, as a tearing feeling pulled at the back of my mind.
A while later, a man walked in and went through the remaining procedures, talking with too much enthusiasm.
Going through the motions, knowing what to answer even before the conversation had begun, my heart was not in it.
What was even the point? Eli is gone, never to be seen again. Would she want me to live on?
Apathetically watching as the time passed by, ending in a school, as I went from day to day, not having any incentive to go on, but my instinct to survive.
Guilt was gnawing at my very core, every thought turning dark and self-deprecating.
"This is Ekaf Reaf, our new student."
Looking at the somewhat uncommon-looking new arrival, his light blue hair, and his young appearance, striking to the eye.
I was not particularly interested. The young boy met my gaze with a green light hidden deep in his eyes, as his innocent expression resembled my sisters'.
"E-Eli"
***
Sitting in my room, I stared at a wall motionless. This had been my regular routine, with no energy or motivation to try anything, simply doing what was required, going through the motions.
"Should I just end it?"
Thinking about it for a second, a bit of confusion settled within.
"Who said that!"
I turned my head and ruckishly searched for the entruder, but why did it sound so familiar?
"End this terrible life fated for nothing but suffering?"
It can't be!?
Turning back, there she was, Eli. She simply stood there, on my bed, completely fine, as if nothing had happened.
"I-is this real?"
Jumping forward to embrace the little girl, hope anew ignited.
"Bang"
I passed right through, banging against the wall powerlessly, a resounding thunk traveling through the room.
"Ha-ha. Did you really think you could escape your guilt that easily? You're hallucinating, dummy.
After all, it was your fault!
Yours alone! Why would I willingly go back to you!"
"Crunch"
Unable to digest her words, my gaze turned horrified.
Watching in despair, a light trickle of blood ran down my nose as my little sister's head started twisting to the side, the neck gave off sounds of cracking, and the head turned upside down at an extremely unnatural angle.
"No, stop it, please stop it!
I dont want this!"
I clenched my head and closed my eyes, desperate for any form of reprieve.
"Stop what?
This already happened, and whose fault was it again? Oh, right, yours!"
"N-no"
"You're worthless!"
Hearing such words in this childish voice from my sister's appearance, guilt welled up, as my will to live was dampened by the second, unable to rebuke even in a weak voice, yet the fear of death stopped any attempts.
Crumpling my body into a ball, I clenched my head with both hands, shutting my ears, not wanting to listen to another word, repeating internally, "It's not my fault, it's not my fault!" The attempts had no effect, as the crackling sound of breaking bones and tearing flesh grew.
A childish voice repeating, getting deeper and deeper, resembling an inhumane scream more and more with every repetition.
"It's all your FAULT, it's all YOUR FAULT, it's ALL YOUR FAULT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
The cacophony of screams ringing in my ears, tears ran down my face anew, ignited by the one who took them in the first place, cradling my body in my attempts to lessen the suffering.
"It's your fault."
A faint echo of his sister's voice rang in his head from time to time, giving the impression that the noise would soon stop, keeping the mental connection between the cacophony of voices and his sisters.
Only to start all over again. Hour after hour, day after day, enduring the relentless torture.
***
Walking down a corridor, sleep-deprived on the edge of collapse, a cyan-haired boy approached me.
Seemingly on a whim, he walked over strong eye rings having formed from numerous sleepless nights, as all my concentration was on simply holding it together.
Raef?
Looking me in the eye, Raef stopped in his tracks and asked, in a compassionate, benevolent tone, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Have you been sleeping well?"
Before being able to answer?
"Do you want the nightmares to stop?"
"What?"
"Do you want the guilt to disappear?"
What was he talking about? Guilt? I want the guilt to disappear! Of course, I want it gone.
In my sleep-deprived, almost delusional state, I did not even think of questioning or thinking critically. When I simply answered on impulse.
"Yes"
Raef's smile widened a bit. He said in return, stretching out his hand.
"Then take my hand, and promise to serve me when the time comes."
Serve?
Will the pain be gone?
Will the guilt be gone?
Will the fear be gone?
Not pondering what would come of this, it could not be worse than what was plaguing me now, I took Raef's hand, a green light connecting them.
I simply want it to end.
Their eyes met, now both wearing a green glint deep within their pupils.
After that unusual encounter, the hallucinations disappeared, and the guilt followed shortly after.
His desire to die, virtually gone.
A new chapter in my life, ready to be begun.