Chapter 22
Babayaga Johnny Sis, the Legendary Doctor Who Fell Into Soft Trouble.
The next morning, the peaceful Black Iron Mountain Village welcomed a very strange visitor.
Or more accurately...
A visitor who looked one cough away from becoming a historical artifact.
An old man slowly walked along the dirt road leading toward the village.
His back was bent like a fishing hook.
His beard reached his stomach.
His eyebrows were longer than some villagers' hair.
His walking stick looked older than the village itself.
Most importantly...
He had only three hairs on his head.
One black.
One white.
One half black and half white.
The old man was naturally Uchiha Ryo in disguise.
Or as he currently called himself—
Babayaga Johnny Sis.
Ryo slowly dragged his feet.
"Cough... cough..."
"Cough..."
"Cough cough cough..."
System was speechless.
Host, are you acting as a doctor or trying to convince everyone you're already dead?
Ryo replied calmly.
A good doctor must first look experienced.
System.
You look like you personally treated dinosaurs for back pain.
Ryo nodded proudly.
Exactly.
Soon the village gate appeared.
Several villagers were carrying firewood nearby.
One young girl was drawing water from a well.
She looked around eighteen.
Simple clothes.
Pretty face.
Healthy figure.
Village beauty level.
Before anyone could react—
"Cough!"
"Cough!"
"Cough!"
Ryo suddenly staggered.
His body swayed left.
Then right.
Then directly toward the girl.
Thump.
The old man fell forward.
Face first.
Into something soft.
Very soft.
Suspiciously soft and round.
The girl froze.
The villagers froze.
The chickens froze.
Even a nearby dog stopped barking.
The girl looked down.
The old man's face had landed directly into her chest.
For several seconds nobody moved.
System :"Host!"
"Are you sure this wasn't intentional?"
Ryo immediately replied.
"Nonsense. How can you insult a respected elder?"
"This is called loss of balance."
System :"You adjusted your trajectory three times."0
Ryo.
That was wind resistance.
The girl hurriedly pushed him away.
"Grandpa! Are you alright?"
"Cough cough cough..."
Ryo slowly opened one eye.
Then another.
Then stroked his beard.
"Young lady..."
"Cough cough cough..."
"Your heart is very kind."
The girl blinked.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
Ryo coughed.
"It cushioned my fall."
System almost crashed.
Several villagers rushed over.
One middle-aged man frowned.
"Old man, who are you?"
"Where did you come from?"
Ryo sighed heavily.
"My name is Babayaga Johnny Sis."
"I am a wandering doctor."
"I have traveled across mountains and rivers."
"I have cured countless illnesses."
"I once treated a man whose donkey forgot how to bray."
The villagers stared.
A villager asked.
"What happened to the donkey?"
Ryo nodded seriously.
"It recovered."
The villager was shocked.
"Amazing."
System :"......."
These people are easier to fool than an 3 year old.
Ryo :"Thank you."
System :"That wasn't a compliment. Besides why you thanking me?"
Ryo said nothing.
At that moment Ryo dramatically clutched his stomach.
"Cough!"
"I haven't eaten for three days."
"If I don't eat soon..."
"I may become the first doctor to die from hunger."
The villagers exchanged looks.
Some felt sympathy.
Others felt suspicious.
One old woman said.
"Hmph."
"You want free food?"
"You haven't done anything."
"Why should we feed you?"
Ryo immediately straightened.
Then he pointed toward her.
"You have lower back pain."
The old woman froze.
Ryo pointed at another man.
"Your right shoulder hurts when it rains."
The man widened his eyes.
Another villager.
"You have stomach problems."
The villager gasped.
Another.
"You snore loudly enough to scare wild animals."
The man's wife immediately shouted.
"HE REALLY DOES!"
The crowd exploded.
"He's a real doctor!"
"An actual doctor!"
"Quick!"
"Get him food!"
"Bring water!"
"Bring a chair!"
Five minutes later.
Ryo sat comfortably under a tree.
Eating.
And eating.
And eating.
System watched in disbelief.
Host.
How many bowls have you eaten?
Ryo counted.
"Only twelve."
System.
Twelve?
Ryo.
This body is malnourished.
Recovery requires nutrition.
System.
You just stole a child's steamed bun.
Ryo.
Recovery requires aggressive nutrition.
Soon villagers formed a long line.
Everybody wanted treatment.
The first patient was the old woman.
Ryo checked her pulse.
Pressed several muscles.
Adjusted a few joints.
Crack.
Crack.
Crack.
The old woman jumped.
"My back!"
"It doesn't hurt anymore!"
The villagers gasped.
The second patient stepped forward.
A farmer.
"My shoulder hurts."
Five minutes later.
Recovered.
Third patient.
Recovered.
Fourth.
Recovered.
Fifth.
Recovered.
The villagers became increasingly excited.
"Divine Doctor!"
"Miracle Doctor!"
"Immortal Doctor!"
Ryo quickly raised his hand.
"No."
"Please."
"Don't call me Immortal Doctor."
The villagers looked confused.
Ryo sighed.
"The last village called me that."
"Three days later they asked me to stop aging."
"I had to run away overnight."
System.
Host.
That sounds oddly specific.
Ryo.
Moving on.
For three full days Ryo stayed in the village.
He treated injuries.
Set broken bones.
Prepared herbal medicines.
Taught basic hygiene.
Even helped deliver a baby.
By the third day his reputation had completely exploded.
Children followed him everywhere.
Old people praised him.
Farmers gifted vegetables.
Women gifted food.
One uncle proudly declared.
"Doctor Johnny Sis is better than all city doctors combined!"
Another immediately disagreed.
"No!"
"He is worth ten city doctors!"
A third shouted.
"Twenty!"
A fourth.
"One hundred!"
Ryo waved modestly.
"Please."
"You exaggerate."
The villagers nodded.
They had indeed underestimated him.
"One thousand city doctors!"
System.
Host.
These people worship you now.
Ryo smiled proudly.
Of course.
I am a medical expert.
A scientist.
A genius.
A legendary ninja.
A—
System interrupted.
You fell into a girl's chest and got free food.
Ryo's smile froze.
System continued mercilessly.
Then you treated villagers for three days.
Your entire medical career in this village started because gravity won.
Ryo silently looked toward the sky.
For the first time in a long while...
The mighty Uchiha Ryo had no comeback.
Chapter End