The decision I made that night was simple.
No more waiting.
No more overthinking.
No more wondering "what if."
For years, I had imagined countless conversations with him inside my head.
For years, I had waited for a perfect moment.
But maybe there was never going to be a perfect moment.
Maybe I simply had to create one.
And honestly...
if my best friend and the senior had not encouraged me so much, I probably would have never gathered this courage.
After staring at his profile for almost ten minutes, I finally took a deep breath.
My hands were shaking.
My heart was beating faster than it ever had during any anatomy viva.
Then slowly...
I typed a message.
Just one word.
"Hii."
I stared at the screen.
Read it five times.
Deleted it.
Typed it again.
And finally...
I pressed send.
For a few seconds, I simply looked at the message.
Then I immediately threw my phone on the bed.
"Oh God."
I covered my face with a pillow.
"What have I done?"
For the next few minutes, I kept checking my phone every thirty seconds.
No reply.
Then one minute.
Still no reply.
Five minutes.
Nothing.
Eventually, tiredness won over nervousness.
And somewhere between overthinking and waiting...
I fell asleep.
---
The next morning, I woke up because of my alarm.
Still half asleep, I reached for my phone.
And then I saw it.
A notification.
A message.
From him.
For a moment, I stopped breathing.
My heart instantly started racing.
I had imagined this moment for years.
Literally years.
And now it was actually happening.
Slowly, I opened the chat.
And there it was.
His reply.
"Hello. I think I know you. Junior, right?"
I stared at the screen.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Then suddenly a huge smile appeared on my face.
He remembered me.
Maybe not perfectly.
Maybe not in the way I had imagined.
But he remembered me.
And honestly...
that alone made me ridiculously happy.
---
I spent almost ten minutes thinking about what to reply.
Then deleted every reply I wrote.
Finally, I sent:
"Yes senior, you're right. I know you too from a long time."
The moment I sent it, I started overthinking again.
Did that sound weird?
Too formal?
Too emotional?
Too obvious?
I had no idea.
---
Luckily, the conversation continued.
We started talking normally.
About studies.
About college life.
About our different fields.
About how life had changed after school.
The conversation wasn't very long.
But for me...
it felt special.
Because for years, he had only been a memory.
And now he was finally becoming a real person again.
---
After some time, the conversation naturally ended.
And I was still staring at the chat when suddenly my roommate shouted,
"Oh my God!"
I jumped.
"What happened?"
She looked horrified.
"You're not even ready yet!"
Then she pointed at the clock.
"And today we have anatomy class."
My eyes widened.
Anatomy.
The one class where being late was practically a crime.😖
---
Within seconds, both of us started running around the room.
Books.
Lab coat.
Bag.
Notes.
Water bottle.
Everything was chaos.
Somehow we got ready and rushed toward college.
---
The entire way to class, my mind was somewhere else.
Not in anatomy.
Not in practicals.
Not in studies.
Only one thing was repeating in my head.
He replied.
He actually replied.
And even though the conversation was simple...
I couldn't stop smiling.
---
When we entered class, our professor had not arrived yet.
Students were discussing practical files.
Some were revising.
Others were panicking.
Meanwhile, I was secretly rereading the same conversation for the tenth time.
Maybe twentieth.
Okay, probably fiftieth.
---
My roommate noticed immediately.
"Why are you smiling at your phone?"
I instantly locked the screen.
"Nothing."
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
"That's definitely not nothing."
Before she could investigate further, the professor entered.
And suddenly the entire class became silent.
--
The anatomy practical started.
And honestly...
it was as stressful as everyone had warned us.
There were diagrams.
Observations.
Questions.
Instructions.
And somewhere in between all that, our senior partners were helping us too.
---
During one part of the practical, my senior friend noticed I looked distracted.
He immediately asked,
"What happened?"
I quickly replied,
"Nothing."
But unfortunately, he knew me too well now.
"You got a reply, didn't you?"
My eyes widened.
And his smile instantly confirmed that he already knew the answer.
---
The practical went better than expected.
The professors seemed less strict.
And for the first time in weeks, my mind felt lighter.
Maybe because a question that had haunted me for years finally had an answer.
He remembered me.
And somehow...
that mattered more than I wanted to admit.
--
By afternoon, classes were almost over.
Students were packing their bags.
Some were heading toward hostel.
Some toward the library.
Everything seemed completely normal.
After practical class ended, our entire group decided to sit in the college garden for some time before returning to the hostel.
Honestly, everyone looked exhausted.
First-year MBBS was definitely not easy.
Some students were discussing assignments.
Some were complaining about anatomy.
And some were already worrying about upcoming tests.
Meanwhile, I was sitting quietly.
For a completely different reason.
My attention wasn't on practicals.
Or assignments.
Or even college.
It was still stuck on that one conversation.
The conversation I had waited years for.
Every few minutes, I found myself opening Instagram again.
Reading the same messages.
Then locking my phone.
Then opening it again.
At one point, my roommate noticed and immediately snatched my phone.
"Give it back!"
She looked at me suspiciously.
"No."
I instantly became nervous.
"Please."
That only made her more suspicious.
Then she smiled dramatically.
"Ohhh..."
And just like that, I knew I was in danger.
"What?"
She crossed her arms.
"Who is he?"
I nearly choked.
"There is no he."
"There is always a he."
I looked toward the sky.
Sometimes I genuinely wondered why girls could detect these things so quickly.
Luckily before she could investigate further, one of our friends called her for some notes discussion.
And for the first time in my life, I silently thanked anatomy.
Later, while returning toward the hostel, I started thinking about how strange life was.
There was a time when I used to stand on the school terrace just to get one glimpse of him.
There was a time when seeing him in the parking area could make my entire day better.
There was a time when I waited months for him to accept my request.
And now...
after all these years...
we were actually talking.
Not much.
Not deeply.
But still talking.
And honestly, that alone felt unreal.
When I finally reached my room, I immediately opened our chat again.
The conversation was simple.
Normal.
Nothing extraordinary.
But to me, every message felt important.
Because for years, I had imagined what his first reply would look like.
Would he remember me?
Would he ignore me?
Would he be cold?
Would he be friendly?
And somehow...
his reply was better than I expected.
Because it felt natural.
Comfortable.
Not forced.
Not awkward.
Just normal.
And maybe that was exactly what made it special.
That evening I couldn't focus on anything properly.
I tried studying anatomy.
Failed.
I tried watching a series.
Failed.
I even tried sleeping early.
Failed again.
Because every few minutes, my mind returned to the same question.
What happens now?
For four years, my story had been built around waiting.
Waiting to see him.
Waiting for a reply.
Waiting for destiny.
Waiting for a sign.
But now the waiting phase was slowly ending.
For the first time, something was actually happening.
And honestly...
that scared me.
Because sometimes uncertainty feels safer than reality.
Reality can disappoint.
Reality can hurt.
Reality can break hopes.
And somewhere deep inside, I was afraid of that.
Around dinner time, my best friend called me.
The moment she picked up, she asked,
"Did you do it?"
I already knew what she meant.
"Yes."
There was silence.
Then suddenly she screamed.
"WHAT?"
I immediately moved the phone away from my ear.
Half the hostel probably heard her.
Then she started asking a thousand questions.
"What did you send?"
"What did he reply?"
"What happened next?"
"Tell me everything."
And honestly, listening to her excitement made me laugh.
Because she looked happier than me.
After telling her the entire conversation, she became suspiciously quiet.
Then she said,
"You know something?"
"What?"
"I think this is only the beginning."
At that time, I laughed.
But later that night...
those words stayed in my mind.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe this really was the beginning of something.
Whether that something would become friendship, closure, heartbreak, or happiness...
I had no idea.
Outside the hostel window, the campus lights glowed softly.
Students were still walking around.
Some preparing for exams.
Some talking with friends.
Some sitting under the night sky.
Meanwhile, I sat quietly on my bed.
Holding my phone.
Looking at the same chat once again.
And for the first time in many years...
I smiled without sadness attached to it.
Because no matter what happened next...
at least I finally found the courage to take the first step.
And sometimes...
one small step is enough to change the entire direction of a story.
That night, I slept with a strange sense of peace.
For years, my story had been filled with waiting.
Waiting to see him.
Waiting for him to accept my request.
Waiting for a sign from destiny.
And now, for the first time, I felt like I was no longer just waiting.
I had finally done something.
It might have been a simple message.
Just one word.
But for me, it represented years of courage that I never thought I had.
The next day passed surprisingly well.
Even during lectures, I found myself smiling randomly while remembering our conversation.
Every time my phone vibrated, my heart immediately skipped a beat.
I knew I was acting ridiculous.
But after waiting for so many years, even the smallest interaction felt special.
During lunch break, I opened our chat again.
Not because there was a new message.
Just because I wanted to read the old ones.
My roommate noticed and immediately laughed.
"You are definitely hiding something."
I quickly locked my phone.
She looked suspicious.
I looked guilty.
Neither of us said anything for a few seconds before both of us burst out laughing.
The rest of the day went on normally.
Classes.
Notes.
Assignments.
Practical discussions.
Everything felt routine.
But somewhere inside me, there was a small happiness that refused to disappear.
For the first time in years, the story I had created in my mind wasn't completely one-sided anymore.
It was still uncertain.
Still confusing.
But at least now there was a conversation.
And maybe...
just maybe...
that was enough to give me hope.
Little did I know that before the day ended, something completely unexpected was waiting for me.
Because only a few minutes later, something happened inside college that instantly made my heart stop.
Something I never expected.
And the moment it happened...
I knew my peaceful day was officially over. 😖