Plenty of dishes were placed, organized neatly on both Tao Hua's and Shan Si's tables, including the extra course of wine. Tao Hua just stared down at it, unsure if he was supposed to take another drink or not, and when he glanced up at Shan Si, he noticed that every so often he'd nurse the bowl between eating.
So, Tao Hua also tried doing that. He would pick up the bowl between every few bites and take a drink, but the only problem with this method was that his eating habits were slower than most.
This was mostly due to his thinking of it as an abysmal waste of valuable reading time.
He truly wasn't like most in the country and had little appreciation for food. To him, it was nothing more than a necessity for survival and best handled by scarfing it down as fast as possible, moving onto whatever hobby he had planned for the evening.
Even worse knowing this time was usually enjoyed silently—at least for the first half. Tao Hua often avoided as he ate alone most days at the estate, so it was only ever an issue when dealing with banquets or meetings.
But now? He had another to take into account, and this other was the slowest eater Tao Hua had ever witnessed in all his twenty years of living. Slower than most of the women back at the estate! This meant he had to patiently wait to speak or ask questions, but all that urge was bubbling up faster with each drink taken.
For some reason, the idea of waiting was beginning to piss Tao Hua off. He pursed his lips, stabbing into his food a few times. After some of the tension was finally released, he glanced back up at Shan Si, who didn't seem moved at all or bothered by Tao Hua's reaction.
Then his mind began to wander. Tao Hua wondered if Shan Si enjoyed the food he was eating, or merely tolerated it. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure what Shan Si's favourite food was.
He really didn't know much about Shan Si, actually! Only his purpose, but not the things that made him, well, him!
In the wake of his drunkenness, which was only increasing due to his terrible method of "Bite, bite, drink, bite, bite, drink," Tao Hua blurted, "Do you find it bad?"
Shan Si glanced up at him, confused, his chopsticks hovering just before his mouth.
"Is what 'bad?'"
Oh, he didn't think this one through. Stiffening his back, Tao Hua nervously asked, "The…food?"
Toward the food, then back up to Tao Hua, and then the food again, Shan Si glanced. "Is it not to your liking?"
"Yes! Wait—no…? No! Um, yes?" Tao Hua wasn't sure which was the right answer, so he slowly mouthed the question again until finally deciding, "I enjoy it!"
Shan Si raised an eyebrow at his mauled food. "Really?"
And with absolute, completely, without-a-doubt certainly, this red-faced drunk eagerly nodded his head. The only thing completed on his table was the bowl of wine, which sat patiently awaiting more.
"What have I created?" Shan Si muttered before placing his own chopsticks flat against the bowl's rim. Leisurely, he bent forward, elbow on his table, fist supporting his jaw, and kept a charmed stare on Tao Hua. "Are you asking me what food I enjoy? Is that what you're trying to ask?"
"…Yes."
This time, Tao Hua wasn't as certain about his response, but Shan Si just laughed. "That's too easy. You'll have to find out."
Face immediately sharpening, Tao Hua dug his stare right into Shan Si, who didn't seem at all scared by it.
"I'm sure you have more exciting questions than that, Tao Hua." He swished his other hand through the air. "Go on, ask."
Shoot! Tao Hua had to actually think about what he wanted to ask, and the problem with his already terribly organized list was that it was all now scrambled in his head.
Eyes shifting with each nervous thought and the slump of his shoulders, he finally admitted his struggles, the words pouring out of him before he could even think of how to say them.
"I actually had so much I wanted to ask you, and I can't think of a single one. Nothing—and there's so much I don't know!" Tao Hua admitted, his head dipping disappointingly. "Each time I try to think of them, my mind wanders to these ideas, and they make me feel weird. I don't like it; it makes me feel like I'm eons behind you, Shan Si."
"Why didn't you ask earlier at the bath?" Shan Si asked calmly, but his lashes seemed to lower at the mention of Tao Hua's "Weird feeling." Even more at the admission of not being able to measure up to him.
"You had plenty of chances then. Why didn't you take any of them?"
"I wanted to! I really did! But…but…" Tao Hua puffed out some air, letting out a small, whiny sound.
"I've never had a chance to talk, or practice speaking to people. So, I do this thing where I stray off into all these different directions, and I lose track of what I wanted to say. I've…never had someone to talk to before about my life and things that happened. At least, not someone who responds with interest and not ridicule."
Shan Si remained quiet, and he didn't have to say a word either; Tao Hua somehow kept the conversation going. Instead, he lifted the jar next to him and poured a bit more of the wine.
Oddly, however, he didn't touch the bowl, only patiently waiting.
"Well, actually, you're kind of mean, but you're still less mean than they were," Tao Hua said, referring to those back in Siyue Town. "You've also done a lot of really mean things. Like earlier, you forced the wine down my throat and—"
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Huh?"
"I asked: did you enjoy the wine?"
Tao Hua stopped to think for a moment before quietly nodding. "Not at first, though. It tastes awful…I don't get nobles taste in anything."
"Then I take that as a good thing." Shan Si, with a bowl in one hand and a jar in the other, rose to his feet. Tao Hua watched this, his head following him up and on his way toward Tao Hua. "Would you have entered Buzhi Forest had I not dragged you in? What about leaving Siyue Town? Would you have left that decrepit atrocity of a town had I not carried you out?"
"…" Tao Hua lowered his head, just as Shan Si sat next to him. He placed the bowl ahead of Tao Hua, on his table, shoving aside the hardly eaten dishes.
"What about leaving your father's mistreatment? Would you have actually followed me if I had asked you to? You read many books, analyze them for every foreshadowing hint, every allegory, metaphor, detail. But when it comes to real life, you fail to read between the lines. That's how I could tell from the moment I met you in that dingy bookstore that you were only living a life designed for you. Not one written."
Tao Hua picked up the bowl Shan Si had given him; however, he frowned at the reflection.
"But did you have to do it in such a mean way…?"
"No, I didn't," Shan Si easily said, filling Tao Hua's empty bowl and picking it up. Before taking a drink, he added, "Desperate men will say anything to keep the ball rolling. Didn't I already tell you this back in the forest?"
Shan Si did mention something along those lines, but the memory was so hazy—well, everything around Tao Hua was hazy now that he thought about it. However, he didn't seem to recall the way Shan Si handled it, physically.
It was too much, and so he shoved the wine down his throat in one awful mouthful. Those thoughts weren't made for drunken admissions, so it was better not to think of them at all.
Cut the tightrope before ever trying to balance on it—perfect!
Trying to hold back the urge to vomit up the ingloriously bitter taste, Tao Hua's entire face stiffened as he placed the bowl smack-dab onto the table.
"Becoming a little alcoholic," Shan Si teased, taking another drink. "Do my words bother you that much?"
Tao Hua's response shocked Shan Si, and with all his resolve, he loudly replied, "Yes!"
All he could do was stare at Tao Hua, not sure what to say. He didn't expect the timid flower to reply so forcefully and full of passion.
"They hurt me a lot, and you keep doing them! Each time I think it'll be fine, or you half-ass apologize to me, you end up doing it again! Avoid me, assume you know what's best for me, handle things while shoving me aside—all of it sucks! It sucks badly!" Tao Hua rambled resentfully.
"Most of the time, I don't know your intent, so I'm stuck trying to guess and I end up feeling like shit! Do you even know what it's like to be resented by everyone in your life, only to have the one person who gave you hope beat you with a…um, I don't know! A leather-covered steel glove!"
"Jeesh…" Shan Si glanced away, bowl pressed to his lips. He had on an awkward smile laced with slight irritation. "If I'd known it would turn out this way, I wouldn't have given you—"
"No!" Tao Hua motioned forward, placing his hands on Shan Si's leg, completely succumbed to the three bowls of wine consumed. "You don't get to say that after you've already done it! Just be straightforward for once!"
This caught the man off guard entirely, and he turned to Tao Hua, unsure how to react.
Even worse, the look on Tao Hua's face was utterly pitiful—the exact look given to him back in The Bookstore when Shan Si declined his book.
Why was it that look had such power over a man hungry for power? Most times, he'd play into it, tease, but this time? It was out of his hands, and the fingers pointed straight at him. There were no handbooks in existence labelled "How to Handle a Furious, Small Bundle of Fuming Drunkenness."
"It's not fair. I'm willing to do anything for you, and you just slap me across the face and tell me it's for my own good," Tao Hua pouted, not thinking twice about the words sputtering out of his mouth.
His hands pressing right into Shan Si's thighs. In an attempt not to flinch, Shan Si leaned forward and set down his wine with a sigh. Tao Hua watched him do that, and it only egged on more anxiety.
"Why are you setting it down…? Am I talking too much?"
Even that alone was enough to bring back feelings Shan Si thought he'd long forgotten. He held his breath for a moment before saying, "I'm not much of a drinker, candidly."
Partially true. Unlike most within the palace walls, he didn't often reach for wine nor beer; however; he wasn't against having a good time either. What impacted him most were the truths shooting at each vital meridian, piercing through with their venomous dipped tips.
Shan Si contemplated his options, all aimed towards ending this conversation, and the only useful tactic he had at his disposal was one used back at The Bookstore.
Turning, he took advantage of Tao Hua's position and tugged the little bastard closer to his body. He wrapped the hand closest to Tao Hua's around his waist, causing the smaller frame to oafishly stumble onto his leg. Like a ragdoll, and for some reason Tao Hua wasn't at all opposed.
He placed his hand against Shan Si's shoulder, trying not to tip over. This was rather difficult given how obnoxiously the room spun around him, and the other hand placed atop the hand at his outer waist.
"Awh, come on, Tao Hua," Shan Si cooed, flattening his free hand against the rug and keeping himself upright and stable, for two. "I'm sure you can do better things with that pretty mouth of yours. Why use it to complain?"
But Tao Hua, despite flushing a deep set of red, just blinked. He looked straight at Shan Si and frowned.
"I can't sing," he dipped his head abashedly. "Grandpa always said mother could, but I can't! No one taught me!"
There were many things about Tao Hua's statement that caught Shan Si off guard, but before he could remotely think about them, he just stared at Tao Hua with the most dumbfounded expression known to man.
All the while Tao Hua kept apologizing for his incompetence.
Nothing ever seemed to go his way with this one.
Chapter end.