Kevin pulled back enough to look at Eva. The harbor lights sparkled in her eyes small gold flecks against brown. He wanted to see her face
"Say it again " Kevin said to Eva.
"Say what?" Eva asked him.
"That thing about not choosing between them. Kevin wanted to remember how Eva said it " Kevin told Eva.
Eva smiled slowly. "You are going to make Eva repeat herself now?" Eva asked Kevin.
"I am going to make Eva repeat herself for the rest of Kevins life if Kevin has to " Kevin said to Eva.
Eva. Pushed Kevins shoulder, but Eva did not move away. If anything Eva leaned closer to Kevin resting her forehead against Kevins collarbone breathing Kevin in the way Eva had breathed in the city an hour earlier.
"Nine days " Eva said again quieter this time to Kevin. "You know what scares Eva more than the climb?" Eva asked Kevin.
"What?" Kevin asked Eva.
"That Kevin will get used to this. The waiting. The watching. And one day Kevin will realize Kevin would rather have a wife who stays home " Eva said to Kevin.
Kevin tilted Evas chin up with two fingers. "Eva look at Kevin " Kevin said to Eva.
Eva did look at Kevin.
"I fell in love with Eva, a woman who runs toward buildings other people run away from " Kevin said to Eva. "Kevin did not fall in love with the version of Eva that stays home. That version of Eva does not exist. Kevin checked " Kevin told Eva.
"You checked?" Eva asked Kevin.
"Kevin checked thoroughly " Kevin said to Eva. "Kevin spent weeks looking. Kevin never found that version of Eva " Kevin told Eva.
Eva laughed again. This time it was a little softer. Eva reached up. Touched Kevins jaw, thumb tracing the line of it like Eva was trying to memorize the shape of Kevins jaw.
"I used to think love was supposed to make Eva smaller " Eva said to Kevin. "Safer. Quieter. Every person Eva dated before Kevin wanted Eva to be less than Eva was. Less loud. Less reckless. Less Eva " Eva said. Eva paused. "Kevin is the person who ever made Eva feel like more " Eva told Kevin.
"That is because Eva is more " Kevin said to Eva. "Eva has always been more. Kevin just finally stopped trying to talk Eva out of it " Kevin told Eva.
Eva kissed Kevin then. It was not slow this time. It was hungry both hands fisting in Kevins shirt like Eva was trying to pull Kevin inside Evas ribs and keep Kevin there. Kevin kissed Eva back as hard one hand sliding into Evas hair the other pressing flat against Evas spine like Kevin could hold the whole night still if Kevin just held on tight enough.
When they broke apart they were both breathing unevenly foreheads pressed together.
"Nine days " Kevin whispered again to Eva like saying it enough times might slow them down.
"Nine days " Eva echoed to Kevin. "And four hundred eighty-four meters of steel and glass " Eva said.
"And then Eva comes down " Kevin said to Eva.
"And then Eva comes down " Eva said to Kevin. Eva pulled back to look at Kevin fully something tender both at once in Evas expression. " Into Kevins arms. Every single time. That is the deal " Eva said to Kevin.
"That is the deal " Kevin agreed with Eva.
Outside Victoria Harbour kept glittering, indifferent and endless while above them the tower waited in the dark patient, as a held breath counting down the same nine days Kevin and Eva were.
Kevin did not let go of Evas hand away. He kept his hand on the small of Evas back like letting go might start the countdown early.
"Come sit with me " Kevin said. "Before we sleep. I am not ready to sleep."
Eva raised an eyebrow. Let Kevin lead her to the small couch by the window anyway. Eva curled her legs under her tucked herself against Kevins side and for a while neither Kevin nor Eva said anything. The harbor kept doing what the harbor always did blinking, breathing, indifferent to the two people watching the harbor.
"Tell me about your mother " Kevin said finally.
Eva blinked. "Where did that come from?"
Kevin said "I do not know. I realize I know everything about how Eva climbs and almost nothing about how Eva became someone who climbs. Nine days felt like a time to fix that."
Eva was quiet for a second picking at a thread on the couch cushion. "Evas mother was terrified of heights. Could not even stand on a chair to change a lightbulb. She used to say their family had blood for balance, whatever that means." Eva laughed a little. "She never understood where Eva came from. Used to ask Eva, joking half not, if the hospital switched babies on her."
"What did Eva tell her?" Kevin asked.
Eva said "I told her maybe I was not running from the ground. Maybe I was running toward something she never got a chance to find." Evas voice softened. "She died before I did my real climb. Never got to see it. Sometimes I think that is why I keep going higher. Like I am trying to get close enough that she can see me from wherever she's."
Kevin pulled Eva in tighter pressed his lips to the top of Evas head. "She would be proud of Eva. Terrified, probably.. Proud."
Eva looked up at Kevin. "You think so?"
Kevin said "I know so. Anyone who made someone as fierce as Eva would have to be proud through the fear. Especially through it."
Eva looked up at Kevin, eyes glassy but not quite spilling over. "Nobody has ever said that to me before."
Kevin said "Then everybody before me was an idiot."
That got a laugh out of Eva, the kind that came from somewhere low in her chest. Eva wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand embarrassed half grateful.
"Your turn " Eva said. "Tell me something. Something you have not told me."
Kevin thought for a moment. "When I was twelve my father took me fishing. Just the two of us which never happened because my father worked constantly and when he was not working he was too tired to do much of anything.. That one weekend he took me out on this little boat, nothing fancy and we did not catch a single fish the whole day. Not one bite."
Eva said "That is the story?"
Kevin said "Let me finish." Kevin smiled. "We sat there for six hours and for the first time in my life my father talked to me like I was a person and not just a kid he was responsible for. My father told me about growing up. About wanting to be an architect and never getting the chance because his own father needed him working instead. My father told me he was scared he would waste his life at that factory job and nobody would remember him when he was gone."
Eva asked "What did you say to him?"
Kevin said "I did not know what to say. I was twelve. I just sat there. Listened, because it felt like the most important thing I would ever get to do." Kevins voice grew quieter. "My father died four years later. Heart attack at the factory.. That day on the boat is the only real memory I have of my father. Not as my father. As a person."
Eva reached for Kevins hand threaded her fingers through Kevins. "That is why you understand this " Eva said softly. "Why you get why I climb even when it terrifies you. You know what it is like to watch someone spend a life wanting something and never reaching for it."
Kevin said "Yeah." Kevin looked at Eva. "I decided a time ago I was not going to be that. I was not going to let fear talk me out of the things that mattered.. Then I met Eva and every single day since has been a test of whether I actually meant it."
Eva asked ". "
Kevin said "And I still mean it. Every day, a little harder to prove. I still mean it."
Eva kissed Kevin again this time slow and unhurried like the nine days had not just become eight like the tower outside the window was not real. When Eva pulled back Eva rested her hand flat against Kevins chest.
Eva said "You know what I want after the climb tomorrow? After I come down and you are standing there and I am shaking and covered in chalk dust and probably crying even though I will deny it?"
Kevin asked "What?"
Eva said "I want you to take me loud. Somewhere with food and cheap beer and too many people. I do not want quiet after. Quiet after a climb makes the fear catch up to me. I need noise. I need you laughing at something I said. I need to feel normal for a hours before it hits me what I just did."
Kevin said "Done." Kevin said "I already scouted three places. Do not ask me how I know which ones have the food. It is a story involving a very confused concierge."
Eva laughed, laughed, head tipped back and Kevin thought, not for the first time that he would spend the rest of his life trying to make that exact sound happen as often as possible.
Eva said "I love you." Eva said "I do not think I say it enough. I say it like it is obvious like you should already know. I want you to hear it plainly tonight. I love you Kevin. Not the version of you that worries. Not the version of you that wants to keep me safe. All of you. Every scared stubborn devoted piece of you."
Kevin said "I love you too." Kevin said "Every fearless impossible piece of Eva. Especially the piece that is about to climb four hundred eighty-four meters tomorrow and give me a heart attack in the process."
Eva said "You will survive."
Kevin said "Barely.. I will survive."
Kevin and Eva stayed on the couch a while after that watching the harbor lights blur together as exhaustion finally caught up with both of them hands still joined the tower waiting patiently in the dark outside counting down, toward morning.