Zhao Manor — Longevity Peace Hall — Late Afternoon
The Grand Consort was alone when I entered. No MěiLíng. No brothers. Just her, sitting by the window, a pot of tea steaming. Not the bitter tea we made for Father. This smelled like pine and mountains. The kind Empresses drink.
_Ohh damn. She's alone. That's worse. Alone means she picked me. Alone means I'm the problem._
She didn't look up. "Sit."
I obeyed. My knees locked so they wouldn't buckle. _Su girls don't fall apart. We fall standing._
_Okay but I literally just came from a life-death situation. An INTERROGATION. From THE REGENT PRINCE._
_CHÁNYÁN._
_OHH FUCK I CAN'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME STRAIGHT IN MY HEAD._
She poured. One cup. Pushed it to me. The porcelain was so thin I could see her fingers through it.
"Drink."
I did. It was bitter. Clean. No honey to hide behind. It scraped my throat going down, and I was grateful for it. Pain was easier than thinking.
_Better than the ice water Chán— STOP. Better than Father's tea. At least this won't poison me. Probably._
"Your mother worries," the Grand Consort said, finally looking at me. Her eyes were old. Sharp. They'd watched husbands die and called it politics. "She should. My grandson is not gentle."
_My grandson._
_CHÁNYÁN._
_The one who stared at me like I was a map he needed to conquer. The one who said "Battle seers are real" like he was telling me the weather._
_OHH DAMN. WHY HIM. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HIM. I JUST GOT MY HEARTBEAT NORMAL._
"He was fair," I said carefully. The words tasted like MěiLíng's lies.
_Fair. He was NOT fair. He was terrifying. He was— his hands. Calluses. And he said my name. JiāYì. Not Hán. Not girl. JiāYì._
_STOP. STOP. He's 24. I'm 16. That's ILLEGAL and also he probably wants me dead._
The Grand Consort snorted. "Fair." She sipped her tea. "Fair men are the most dangerous, child. Because when they cut you, they believe they're right."
_God. She knew._ About the interrogation. About the water on my face. About "Do you think I wouldn't know?"
_He told her. He told her I cried. He told her I shook. He told her I— OH MY GOD THE WHOLE MANOR KNOWS._
_I'm gonna move to the mountains. Become a goat. Goats don't get interrogated by hot generals._
My hand moved before I could stop it. Pulled the jade tiger from my sleeve. Set it on the table between us. It looked small there. Like a child's toy. Like me.
_WHY. WHY DID I DO THAT. Now she thinks I'm showing off. I'm not. His fingers touched it and it was warm and— I'M SIXTEEN. I'M ALLOWED TO BE STUPID._
The Grand Consort went very still.
Then she laughed. One bark of sound. No humor. Like a sword hitting a grave.
"So," she said. "He chose."
_Chose. Chose WHAT. To keep me as a pet? To execute me later?_
_WHY HIM. Why does THE REGENT PRINCE have to choose ANYTHING about me. Can't I just be ignored. Ignored is safe._
"Chose what?" My voice came out smaller than I wanted.
"To guard you." She picked up the tiger. Her thumb ran over the snout, worn smooth from six years of my fingers. "Or to watch you. With Chányán, it's the same thing."
_To guard me. Or watch me._
_The Regent Prince. Zhào Chányán. 24. Golden eyes. Says 'mine to guard' like it's a death threat and a promise._
_WHY HIM. Why not YìChén. YìChén would give me wine and call it a day. Chányán gives me EXISTENTIAL DREAD._
She set it back down. Pushed it toward me. Not kindly.
"Keep it. Hide it. The Phoenix Court can't see a Su tiger in the open. Not yet."
_Phoenix Court. Empress. Liú family._ The words meant "You're Su blood in Han skin. You're dangerous. We're watching."
_So everyone's watching me. Chányán. The Empress. Even her. Am I a girl or a target practice dummy?_
_Can someone NOT watch me for five minutes. I need to scream into a pillow._
My chest went tight.
"Grandmother," I said, using the name for the first time. It felt wrong in my mouth. Too big. Her eyes flicked to mine. Testing. "Mother gave me a jade tiger when I was ten. She said it was from _her_ mother. Was it..." I couldn't finish. My fingers dug into my palms. "...was it from you?"
_Please say no. Please say it was from some dead aunt. This family is too much. I just got here._
The Grand Consort was quiet for three heartbeats. Long enough for me to want to take it back.
Then: "Your mother wasn't always quiet." Buddha smile, prime minister's brain. "I gave that tiger to _her_ when she was ten. Told her it was for when she needed to bite. She passed it to you instead."
_Mother wasn't always quiet._ The thought knocked the air out of me. Mother, who bowed to Father. Who drank his tea without flinching. She had teeth once?
_She had teeth. Real ones. Sharp ones. She chose to pull them out. For me._
_For sixteen years she played prey so I wouldn't have to. And I called her weak._
_Oh. Oh god. I'm gonna be sick._
"She told me you were too quiet," the Grand Consort went on. "Quiet girls get buried. I wanted her to have teeth. To fight back. To survive." She leaned forward. I could smell sandalwood and ink. "Do you have teeth yet, little inkstone? Can you bite back when they come for you?"
_Teeth. Not to be cruel. To survive. To make them bleed before they bury you._
"I'm learning," I said. My voice cracked. I hated myself for it.
_Great. Now she knows I'm a crier AND I crack. Can this day get worse? Don't answer that. It can ALWAYS get worse._
"Good." She drank her tea. "Because MěiLíng is crying to YìChén right now. Telling him how scared she was when Chányán scolded her. How you must hate her. How she has no one."
_Of course she is. She always picks the kind one. The one who won't see the knife._
_YìChén's nice. He's gonna fall for it. He has to fall for it. He—_
"And YìChén?" I asked. My hands were so cold I wrapped them around the teacup. The heat hurt.
"YìChén is drunk by noon," the Grand Consort said. "But he's never stupid. He told her, 'You're very pretty.' Then he told MíngYuǎn, 'Watch her. She cries too well.'"
_Lazy Peacock plays fool. But lazy wolves still bite._
_Wait. WHAT._
_He didn't fall for it? He DIDN'T?_
_OH THANK GOD. I'm not alone. Not completely. I could hug YìChén. PLATONICALLY. FROM A DISTANCE._
Relief hit me so fast my ribs ached.
"But Chányán..." The Grand Consort's voice went soft. Dangerous. Like silk pulled over a blade. "Chányán doesn't tell MíngYuǎn to watch people. He does it himself. And he summoned _you_, not her."
_He summoned me. He told me battle seers are real. He said "dammit" when I cried._
_WHY HIM. Why does he have to be the one who watches. Why can't it be MíngYuǎn. MíngYuǎn would bring me candied plums._
_The Regent Prince. Chányán. Who looked at me like I was his problem to solve. Or end._
"He knows something," I whispered. The teacup was shaking now. I couldn't make it stop.
_He knows I'm broken. He knows I see things. He knows I'm sixteen and stared at his mouth for .2 seconds like an idiot._
"He always knows something," she said. "The question is, what will you let him know, JiāYì?"
_What will I let him know. Not what will I tell him. He'll see it anyway._
_He saw me on my knees. He saw me begging not to be sold. There's nothing left to hide._
_Except that I had a vision of him in the rain, sword out, saying "Touch her and the Zhao family ends your bloodline". Which is probably treason to THINK._
Before I could answer, the door slammed open.
MíngYuǎn stood there, breathing hard. Seventeen, but right now he looked twelve. Like XiǎoBǎo when he wakes up from a bad dream.
"Grandmother," he gasped. "Problem."
_Oh good. Another one. Because I wasn't having a mental breakdown already._
The Grand Consort didn't blink. "Speak."
"Han family," MíngYuǎn said, looking right at me. His eyes were wide. Scared _for_ me. "Prime Minister Hán is at the gate. With Minister Zhāng."
_My father. And the man who calls Mother 'Su filth' when he thinks no one's listening._
_Ohh damn. No. Not today. Not after the study. Not after "mine to guard"._
_I just survived CHÁNYÁN. I cannot do Father right now. I don't have the emotional bandwidth._
My stomach dropped to my feet. No. Not today. Not after the ice. Not after "She hates me. Good."
"He says," MíngYuǎn swallowed, "he's here to take his daughters home. Says Zhao Manor is 'too dangerous for young girls.'"
_Dangerous for young girls. HE should know. He MADE it dangerous for this young girl for sixteen years._
_Also rich coming from the guy who watched MěiLíng push me off a balcony in another life._
The Grand Consort set her cup down. No sound.
"I see," she said.
_No, you don't._
Because white hit me. Not pain. Not heat. _Sight._
The main gate. Han ZhìXuān shouting, his face the color of raw meat. Minister Zhāng beside him, smiling, holding up a scroll. Imperial seal. Red as a slit throat. "By order of the Ministry of Personnel, the Han daughters are to be returned to their father's custody. The engagement between Lord Zhao and Sū RuìXī is under review for impropriety."
Mother, in the courtyard. White as death. "You wouldn't."
Han ZhìXuān: "I own the court. Why don't I own respect?"
And Chányán... Chányán on the steps, golden eyes like winter. Not moving. Because if he draws, it's treason against a ministry order. The Empress's father, Liú BóWén, wrote that rule. The Wēn family paid for the ink.
_He can't move. They know he can't move. That's why they brought the scroll._
_They're going to take us. They're going to take Mother. And he'll have to watch._
_The Regent Prince. Zhào Chányán. Just… standing there. With his stupid golden eyes. Unable to do anything._
_Unless… unless I give him a reason. Oh god. What am I thinking. I can't think about him right now._
The vision ripped away. I couldn't breathe. My lungs were full of ice.
"They're using the Ministry," I choked out. The words scraped my throat raw. "Using the Liú family's rules. 'If the Liú family says your marriage is improper, your children lose rank.'"
_Say it. Say it fast before I pass out. Before I lose my nerve. Before I think about Chányán again._
MíngYuǎn's mouth fell open. "How did you—"
The Grand Consort was watching me. She saw it. The _seer_ in my face. The way my hands shook not from fear, but from _seeing_.
"What did you see, child?" she asked quietly. Not Grand Consort. _Grandmother._
_Lie, and she'll know. Tell her, and I prove Chányán right. Battle seers burn out. Die._
_I'm sixteen. I shouldn't have to choose between dying and lying. This sucks. I want to go home. Wait, THIS is home. Crap._
I lifted my head. My neck almost wouldn't hold it. _Su girls don't fall apart. We fall standing._
"Minister Zhāng has a scroll," I said. My voice didn't sound like mine. It sounded like steel. Like Mother's when she told me to run. "With an imperial seal. He's going to say Mother's engagement is improper. He's going to try to take us."
MíngYuǎn stared. "That's... that's impossible. You weren't—"
The Grand Consort didn't move. Didn't blink.
Then she smiled.
The old tiger. Awake.
"Did he now?" she said. "How... interesting."
_Interesting. She says interesting like it's a death sentence. For them. Not me. Please not me._
She stood. Seventy years old, and the room bowed to _her_. Not the other way around.
"MíngYuǎn," she said. "Go tell your Eldest Brother to meet me at the gate. Tell him to bring his sword. Not for drawing. For showing."
_His sword. Chányán. He's going to be there. He has to watch me get dragged away and he can't—_
_WHY HIM. Why does it always have to be HIM. Why can't I just have a normal, boring, non-life-threatening day._
_Also if I die, tell him I hated his interrogation methods. Actually no. Don't tell him anything._
MíngYuǎn ran.
The Grand Consort looked at me. Really looked. Past the Han robes. Past the 'fey' whispers. Saw the Su underneath.
"Battle seers are real," she said, echoing Chányán. Echoing my nightmare. "And my husband's mother was one. She died screaming about fire. Three days later, the palace burned."
_She died. They all die. I'm going to die._ The thought was calm. Cold. Like the ice bath.
_I'm 16. I just got this power. I don't want to die yet. I haven't even—_
_I haven't even figured out why Chányán calling me 'JiāYì' made my knees do that thing. I need more data. For science._
Her hand closed around mine. Around the jade tiger. Her skin felt like paper. Her grip felt like iron.
"So we do not hide, little inkstone," she said. "We do not bow. We do not burn out."
"We bite."
_We bite. Grandmother said bite. Chányán said tigers don't bow to sheep._
_I'm really, really scared. But I'm also really, really Su._
_Also if I throw up, I'm aiming for Minister Zhāng's boots. That's my new life goal._
She started walking. Each step was a war drum.
"Come, JiāYì. Let's go show the Prime Minister why the Su family doesn't debate wars."
"We end them."
And with the jade tiger biting into my palm and the Grand Consort's footsteps like thunder beside me, I followed her to the gate.
_Oh god. Oh god oh god. This is happening. This is really happening._
I was terrified. Sixteen and shaking and sure I'd throw up.
_I'm going to throw up on Minister Zhāng's boots. That would be funny. If I survive this, I'm doing that._
_Also Chányán's gonna see me. Looking like death. With puke on my shoes. Great. Perfect. Love that for me._
_He's 24. I'm 16. He's gonna think I'm pathetic. He's gonna—_
_FOCUS. BITING. WE'RE BITING NOW._
But I was Su.
And Su girls don't fall apart. We fall standing.
To face my father.
To face Minister Zhāng.
To face the battle I saw before it started.
_And Chányán will be there. With his sword. Watching. And he can't do anything._
_Unless I give him a reason. Unless I—_
_No. Don't think. Just walk. Just bite. Just don't look at him. You'll combust. You will literally combust._