Jay-Jay (POV)
"Jay..." she called softly as she stepped closer to me on the balcony.
I couldn't even stand sharing the same space with her.
"Don't call me like you know me," I said coldly. "Because you don't."
She froze.
"Eight years ago. The last time we met was eight years ago. If that's the case, then we're strangers."
The words came out sharper than I intended, but I didn't care.
I pushed my chair back and stood.
My appetite was gone.
The laughter and conversations from the backyard faded into an uncomfortable silence. Everyone had heard us.
"Jay..." Tita said softly, looking between the two of us. "Don't talk to her like that. She's your mother."
A bitter laugh escaped my lips.
Mother.
The word felt foreign.
Like something that belonged to someone else's life.
I looked away from the woman standing a few feet from me.
"Is she?" I asked quietly.
The silence that followed was painful.
I looked at the woman standing in front of me.
"My mother is in New York taking care of my father."
Then I turned to Tita.
"And I already have you."
My voice softened for her.
"I don't need her. Not anymore."
The words hit harder than I expected.
Before anyone could say anything, footsteps approached from the side of the house.
Angelo Kuya walked into the backyard.
The moment I saw him, I knew.
My jaw tightened.
I let out a short laugh.
"Is this why you're late, Kuya?" I asked. "I thought you were at work."
My eyes shifted toward the woman.
"So this was the surprise you planned for me?"
Angelo sighed and walked toward me.
His expression was careful.
Guilty.
"Jay..." he said quietly. "She wanted to talk to you."
He stopped beside me and gently patted my head like he always did.
"Give her a chance."
I looked up at him.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then I smiled.
Not because I was happy.
Because I was hurt.
"But you never asked if I wanted to talk to her."
The smile disappeared.
"Because I don't."
The backyard fell silent again.
No one knew what to say.
My eyes shifted back to the woman.
"She's only here because she wants something. Otherwise, she never would've looked for me."
The words came out flat.
Cold.
Like I was stating a fact.
Not an accusation.
I turned and started to walk away.
I couldn't stay here.
Not with her.
Not with everyone staring at me.
Before I could take another step, a hand wrapped around mine.
"Wife."
I looked up.
Kiefer.
His grip was gentle, but firm enough to stop me.
"Listen to her," he said quietly.
The realization hit me instantly.
My stomach dropped.
I stared at him.
Then at everyone else.
Slowly.
One by one.
" ...You knew?"
Nobody answered.
That was answer enough.
I looked around the backyard.
At Tita.
At Angelo Kuya.
At everyone.
"You all knew about this?"
The silence felt like a knife twisting deeper.
"Jay..." Mia whispered. "Please listen to her."
I laughed.
A short, broken laugh.
"Why?"
My voice cracked for the first time.
"Why is everyone talking about her?"
I looked at them.
Hurt.
Confused.
Angry.
"Shouldn't you be on my side?"
Nobody spoke.
Nobody moved.
And somehow that hurt more than anything.
The silence hit me like cold water.
For years, these people had been my family.
The people who stayed.
The people who chose me.
But right now, it felt like I was standing alone.
I closed my eyes.
Took a shaky breath.
Then another.
When I opened them again, I felt tired.
Just tired.
Slowly, I pulled my hand from Kiefer's and walked back to my chair.
I sat down.
The chair scraped softly against the floor.
"Fine."
My voice was quiet.
Defeated.
I looked at the woman I barely knew.
"You have five minutes."
The entire backyard held its breath.
"Say whatever you came here to say."
The woman took a shaky breath.
"Jay..." she began. "I've learned from my mistakes."
I said nothing.
"I want a new life now. I'm married, and you have a stepfather. We can be a family again."
My jaw tightened.
"You, me, Aries... everyone. We can start over."
She smiled weakly.
"I already decorated a room for you. It's pink, just like when you were little."
The smile on her face grew hopeful.
"Why don't you come live with us? You and your husband can stay at our house. I want to get to know my grandchild too."
Silence.
The entire backyard waited for my response.
I stared at her.
At the woman who had disappeared from my life for years.
The woman who thought a pink room could replace everything she missed.
"Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
She nodded.
Hope flickered in her eyes.
I slowly stood up.
"Okay."
The hope grew.
"I listened."
Her smile widened.
"So can I leave now?"
The smile disappeared.
"Jay."
Aries' warning came immediately.
I turned toward Aries.
"Really, Ari Kuya?"
My voice trembled.
Not with fear.
With heartbreak.
"You forgave her?"
Aries remained silent.
I laughed bitterly.
Of course he was silent.
Because there was nothing he could say.
I looked back at her.
Tears were already running down her face.
But for once, I couldn't bring myself to care.
"But I can never forgive you."
My voice was steady.
Cold.
"And I don't even like pink."
She blinked.
Confused.
"I never liked pink."
I shook my head.
"If you had spent even a little time with me, you would've known that."
The words hit her harder than shouting ever could.
"You talk about family like it's some wonderful thing."
I laughed.
A broken, painful sound.
"But I never wanted a family."
The entire backyard went silent.
"All I ever wanted was you."
My throat tightened.
"You."
I pointed at her.
"Just you."
A tear slipped down my cheek.
"But apparently, even that was too much to ask."
She covered her mouth.
"Jay..."
"No."
I took a shaky breath.
"You keep asking me to understand you."
My voice trembled.
"You keep asking me to forgive you."
Another tear fell.
"And now everyone is looking at me like I'm the villain because I can't."
I looked around.
At Aries.
At Angelo.
At everyone.
"Do you know how many times I defended you?"
Nobody answered.
"Every time someone asked about my father, I never pushed for answers because I didn't want to hurt you."
My chest ached.
"I listened to you."
Every word became harder to say.
"I understood you."
My voice cracked.
"I waited for you."
The woman broke down crying.
I didn't stop.
Because she needed to hear it.
"When I was living with Grandma, I kept telling myself you were busy."
I wiped my eyes angrily.
"I thought maybe work was important."
I laughed bitterly.
"I thought maybe something happened."
Another breath.
"Maybe there was a reason."
My voice dropped to a whisper.
"So I waited."
Silence.
"I waited by the door."
My hands trembled.
"Every birthday."
The tears wouldn't stop now.
"I kept thinking maybe this year."
I swallowed hard.
"Maybe this year Mom will remember she has a daughter."
The woman sobbed openly.
But the years of hurt wouldn't let me stop.
"So I waited."
My voice broke completely.
"And waited."
The backyard was silent except for her crying.
"But you never came."
I looked straight at her.
"You never came when I was sick."
My voice shook.
"You never came when I was crying."
Another breath.
"You never came when I needed a mother."
The words shattered the last piece of composure I had left.
"You never came."
Silence.
"You should have told me."
My voice shook.
"You should have told me that no matter what I did, you would never love me."
The woman in front of me froze.
"Then maybe I wouldn't have spent years waiting for you."
I wiped my tears with trembling hands.
"You should have told me you were ashamed of me."
"Jay—"
"Because if you couldn't love me..."
My voice cracked.
"Then how was I supposed to learn how to love myself?"
The silence was unbearable.
"I had to raise myself."
"I had to take care of myself."
"I had to teach myself that I deserved to be loved."
My chest felt tight.
"Everyone called me a troublemaker."
A bitter laugh escaped me.
"They judged me."
"They blamed me."
"But every single time you came back..."
I looked directly into her eyes.
"I followed you."
My tears fell harder.
"Because I was your daughter."
The woman's shoulders shook.
"And every time..."
I swallowed.
"You chose someone else."
The backyard was completely silent.
"You wanted your family."
"You wanted your happiness."
"And you pushed us into hell."
My voice rose.
For the first time.
"Do you know what those years were like?"
I pointed at myself.
"I was abused."
"Every day felt like hell."
The tears streamed down my face.
"And then you took away the only person who cared about me."
My voice broke.
"Ari kuya."
I looked toward Aries.
"He wanted to be loved too."
My gaze returned to her.
"And now?"
I laughed bitterly.
"Now you suddenly want to feel like a family?"
"Now you want me?"
The woman flinched.
Then suddenly—
SLAP.
The sound echoed across the backyard.
My head snapped to the side.
The entire world went silent.
My cheek burned.
For a second, nobody moved.
Nobody breathed.
I slowly turned back to look at her.
Her hand was still raised.
Her entire body was shaking.
Tears poured down her face.
"What do you know about me?" she cried.
"What do you know about what I went through?"
The backyard remained frozen.
Because nobody had expected her to raise her hand.
Not after everything.
Not now.
"Yes, I don't know what a mother is."
I looked straight at her.
"Because you were never one."
My voice trembled.
"Do you even know what I thought when Orion was born?"
She stared at me.
"My first thought wasn't happiness."
I laughed bitterly.
"It was that I didn't want him to grow up hating me the way I hate my mother."
The backyard went completely silent.
I looked straight at her.
"That's what you left me with."
"Not love."
"Not memories."
"Not a family."
"Just the fear of becoming you."
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I didn't look away.
"You were always leaving."
My voice cracked.
"Always running away."
I shook my head.
"Always abandoning me."
"And every time you left, I was the one left behind, wondering what I'd done wrong."
My voice dropped to a whisper.
"So how could I possibly know what a mother is supposed to be?"
A sob escaped my lips.
But I couldn't stop.
Not anymore.
Because for years I had carried this alone.
For years I had swallowed every question.
Every hurt.
Every disappointment.
And now she was finally standing in front of me.
"Even when I lost my memories, you didn't care enough to show your face."
The woman in front of me broke down crying.
I didn't stop.
"Maybe I'm not generous enough to accept you."
I shook my head.
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life expecting something from you that will never change."
My hand pressed against my chest.
"Do you know how many nights I questioned my own worth?"
The silence was suffocating.
"Do you know how many times I wondered what was wrong with me?"
My voice cracked.
"I was terrified that nobody would ever love me if they knew about my past."
I couldn't bring myself to look at Kiefer.
Not now.
Because I knew the second I met his eyes, I would break completely.
He was the one person who could see through me.
And right now, I wasn't strong enough for that.
"Even when I fell in love with Kiefer..."
I laughed bitterly.
"I couldn't tell him."
My tears streamed down faster.
"Because I kept asking myself why someone like him would ever choose someone like me."
Kiefer stood up immediately.
"Jay—"
I barely heard him.
"I was so afraid."
My voice broke completely.
"So afraid that if he saw my scars..."
I looked down.
"If he saw all the broken parts of me..."
The tears wouldn't stop anymore.
I wiped them away, but more kept falling.
"He wouldn't stay."
My voice broke.
"Even now, I know he loves me."
I looked around at everyone standing there.
"And I know every person in this yard loves me too."
Another sob escaped my lips.
"But whenever I remember..."
I pressed a hand against my chest.
"The fear comes back."
My breathing became uneven.
"No matter how much I run from it, I can't forget how my story started."
I shook my head.
"I carry those memories everywhere."
My voice dropped to a whisper.
"Like a curse that won't leave me until the day I die."
The backyard remained silent.
"My biggest fear is being abandoned by the people I love."
I finally admitted it aloud.
"That's why I fight so hard for the people I love."
I wiped my face.
"That's why I always run after them."
A bitter laugh escaped me.
"Because I never want them to feel what I felt."
I closed my eyes.
"I never want them to think they're not enough."
The words hurt more than anything.
"Because I know exactly what that feels like."
My shoulders trembled.
"I hate saying this."
I swallowed hard.
"But I'm broken."
The confession hung in the air.
"And every day, I keep trying to fix myself."
I looked at her.
All the anger was gone.
Only exhaustion remained.
"All I wanted was to live happily."
My voice cracked.
"So please..."
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Don't come looking for me again."
The moment the words left my mouth, I broke.
Then I walked toward her.
Every step felt heavier than the last.
She looked at me with tears streaming down her face.
Maybe she wanted forgiveness.
Maybe she wanted another chance.
Maybe she wanted her daughter back.
But she was too late.
I stopped in front of her.
"The daughter you're looking for died years ago."
The entire backyard fell silent.
My voice was calm.
Too calm.
"The girl who waited for you."
"The girl who cried for you."
"The girl who kept hoping you'd come back."
I swallowed hard.
"She's gone."
Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
I didn't look away.
"I'm not her anymore."
My hand found Kiefer's.
"I'm the wife of Mark Kiefer Watson and I want to die like his wife."
For the first time, I smiled.
A small smile.
A real one.
Because that title meant more than she would ever understand.
"And I hope you never come looking for me again."
My voice was quiet now.
Tired.
"I know that hurts you and I'm sorry for that."
I took a shaky breath.
"But I don't want to give you false hope."
My eyes met hers one last time.
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you."
The truth hurt.
For both of us.
"Maybe one day I will."
I shook my head.
"Or maybe I won't."
Another tear slipped down my cheek.
"But right now, I can't."
I looked away.
"Because before I can forgive you..."
My voice cracked.
"I have to learn how to let go of everything you left behind."
The years of hurt.
The abandonment.
The little girl who spent years waiting at the door.
"I have to heal myself first."
A painful silence settled between us.
"So please..."
I swallowed hard.
"Don't come looking for me again."
The words broke something inside her.
I saw it happen.
But I couldn't bring myself to care.
Not anymore.
"Don't follow me, please."
My voice was barely above a whisper.
"I need time."
I turned around and walked away.
Away from the backyard.
Away from the silence.
Away from the woman who had once been my whole world.
I made it to the kitchen before my legs finally gave out.
My hands were shaking.
So badly I could barely hold the glass of water.
The cold water did nothing.
My chest still hurt.
My throat still burned.
My past was still there.
No matter how hard I tried to bury it.
No matter how many years passed.
No matter how much I wanted to forget.
It followed me.
Like a shadow.
Always there.
Waiting.
Reminding me of everything I had lost.
I gripped the counter and lowered my head.
Trying to breathe.
Trying to calm down.
Trying not to fall apart.
But the little girl inside me was still crying.
Still asking the same question I had been asking for years.
Why wasn't I enough for her to stay?
Even now, she hadn't come back because she missed me.
She came back because she wanted a perfect family.
A perfect picture.
A happy ending she could show the world.
And somehow, that hurt more than anything else.
My fingers loosened around the glass I was holding.
It slipped from my hand.
The sound echoed through the room.
The glass shattered against the floor.
For a moment, I just stared at it.
At the broken pieces scattered everywhere.
They looked exactly how I felt.
Broken.
Cracked in places no one could see.
I quickly looked away.
I didn't want anyone to see me like this.
I hated it when people saw me falling apart.
Because then they would know.
They would see the thing I feared most.
That no matter how hard I tried, a part of me still believed I wasn't enough.
I dropped to my knees and reached for the broken glass.
My vision blurred with tears.
But I kept picking up the pieces.
One by one.
Because it was my fault.
Wasn't it?
That thought had lived inside me for years.
Maybe if I had been better.
Maybe if I had been easier to love.
Maybe if I had been the perfect daughter.
The normal daughter.
The daughter she wanted.
Maybe she would have stayed.
A tear slipped down my cheek and landed among the shards.
But deep down, I already knew the truth.
The glass wasn't broken because of me.
And neither was she.
Some people leave because they choose to.
And no amount of love can make them stay.
The thought echoed in my head.
If I forgave her, would the pain disappear?
Would the scars finally heal?
Would I wake up one day and be okay?
Could I learn to love her again?
Or would I spend the rest of my life waiting for her to leave all over again?
Because that was the part nobody understood.
It wasn't the past that scared me.
It was the future.
The fear that if I let her back into my life, she would abandon me again.
The fear that one day she would have a new child, a new family, and I would once again become the person left behind.
A warm drop landed on my hand.
Then another.
I looked down.
Blood.
A piece of glass had cut into my palm, but I hadn't even felt it.
"Jay..."
Clyden Kuya's voice pulled me back to reality.
My hand was gently taken from the broken glass.
"You're bleeding."
The concern in his voice shattered whatever control I had left.
"Kuya..."
My voice broke.
"It hurts."
Fresh tears streamed down my face.
"It hurts so damn much."
Clyden immediately pulled me into his arms.
I grabbed his shirt like a child afraid of being left behind.
"Will I be okay?" I cried.
The question came out small.
Fragile.
"I really don't want to hurt her."
A sob escaped my lips.
"But I can't love her, Kuya."
My shoulders shook.
"I can't."
I buried my face against him.
"I'm scared."
The confession felt ugly.
Weak.
But it was the truth.
"I'm scared that if I let her in, she'll leave again."
Clyden's arms tightened around me.
As if he could hold all the broken pieces together.
"It's okay."
His voice was soft.
Steady.
"Kuya's here."
His hand moved gently through my hair.
"I've got you."
I cried harder.
Not because the pain was gone.
But because for the first time that day, I wasn't carrying it alone.
"I will love you, Jay."
His voice cracked slightly.
"I will love you enough for all the people who failed to."
Another tear rolled down my cheek.
"So don't cry alone anymore."
He pressed a kiss against the top of my head.
"You hear me?"
His arms tightened around me.
"You're not alone."
And for the first time since she appeared—
I believed it.
I think I cried so much that eventually the tears stopped.
Not because I felt better.
But because there was nothing left in me.
Everything felt numb.
Then I looked down.
My breath caught.
Blood.
There was blood everywhere.
At first, I thought it was mine.
Then I realized it wasn't.
Clyden Kuya's leg was bleeding.
A piece of the shattered glass must have struck him when I threw the glass earlier.
The wound looked deep.
Too deep.
More blood than there should have been.
The warm blood from my own hand mixed with his, staining the cream-colored shirt he was wearing.
Red against white.
The sight made my stomach twist.
"Kuya..."
My voice barely came out.
But he wasn't looking at his injury.
He was looking at me.
His eyes never left my face.
The way he was staring at me felt strange.
Wrong.
Too intense.
Too focused.
Why?
A ringing sound filled my ears.
The room began to spin.
My vision blurred.
The voices around me became distant.
Muffled.
Like I was underwater.
I tried to stay awake.
Tried to focus.
But my body felt weak.
So weak.
Then I felt hands on me.
Warm hands.
Holding me.
Trying to steady me.
But suddenly I couldn't breathe.
The warmth felt suffocating.
Strange.
My chest tightened.
Panic rushed through me.
I pushed against him with all the strength I had left.
"Don't—!"
I stumbled backward.
My heart pounded wildly.
The faces around me no longer looked familiar.
The room spun again.
Fear crawled up my spine.
I stared at him.
My breathing uneven.
My hands shaking.
"Who are you?"
The words came out broken.
Terrified.
I backed away another step.
"Who are you?"