The morning sun stabbed through the window like a personal insult.
Lira opened one eye.
Then the other.
Then regretted both decisions.
[Lady Lira, today is the practical combat exam.]
The maid's voice came from outside the door.
Lira pulled the blanket over her head.
Lira: [No.]
Lira: [I refuse.]
Lira: [Tell them I'm dead.]
The maid paused.
Maid: […My lady, the teacher said anyone who skips will be expelled.]
Lira sat up slowly.
Her hair was a bird's nest of royal despair.
Lira: [Expelled?]
Lira: […Can I expel myself from life instead?]
---
The training grounds smelled like grass, sweat, and impending doom.
Students gathered in groups of three.
Lira stood at the edge of the field, wearing the academy combat uniform.
It was basically a shorter skirt with armor plates.
Lira looked down.
Lira: [Who designed this?]
Lira: [A pervert?]
Lira: [It was definitely a pervert.]
A shadow fell over her.
Leon.
He stood there with his arms crossed, looking like a shonen protagonist who read too many motivational books.
Leon: [Princess.]
Lira: [Please go away.]
Leon: [We are on the same team.]
Lira's soul left her body for approximately three seconds.
Lira: […What.]
Leon: [The teacher assigned teams yesterday.]
He pointed.
Elena stood nearby, waving with a smile that could kill a man.
Elena: [Good morning, Princess!]
Lira looked at Leon.
Then at Elena.
Then at the sky.
Lira: [God hates me.]
Lira: [I must have been a serial killer in a past life.]
---
The teacher stood on a wooden platform, holding a megaphone-like magic item.
Teacher: [Listen up!]
Teacher: [Today's exam is simple.]
Teacher: [Enter the training forest.]
Teacher: [Defeat the golem at the center.]
Teacher: [Return alive.]
Students cheered.
Lira raised her hand.
Lira: [Question.]
Teacher: [Princess Lira?]
Lira: [Can we just… not?]
The entire training ground went silent.
Even the birds stopped chirping.
The teacher adjusted his glasses.
Teacher: […No.]
Lira lowered her hand.
Lira: [Worth a shot.]
---
The training forest was dark, damp, and full of things that wanted to hurt them.
Lira walked in the middle.
Leon walked in front, sword drawn, posing dramatically with every step.
Elena walked behind, humming a cheerful tune and occasionally poking mushrooms with a stick.
Lira: [Why are we here?]
Lira: [What did I do to deserve this?]
Leon stopped suddenly.
Leon: [Wait.]
He crouched, examining the ground.
Leon: [Tracks.]
Lira: […Animal tracks?]
Leon: [Golem tracks.]
Leon: [We are close.]
He stood up and pointed forward with his sword.
Leon: [Follow me.]
He took three steps—
SNAP.
A rope trap caught his ankle.
Leon was yanked upside down into a tree.
Leon: [WHAT—?!]
He swung back and forth, his dignity hanging lower than his body.
Lira stared.
Elena stared.
Then Elena laughed so hard she had to lean against a tree.
Elena: [HAHAHA! LEON!]
Elena: [YOU WALKED INTO YOUR OWN ARMY'S TRAINING TRAP!]
Leon, upside down, his face red:
Leon: [This is… a tactical disadvantage.]
Lira: [You mean you're an idiot.]
Lira looked at the rope.
Lira: [Should we cut him down?]
Elena: [Let's leave him.]
Elena: [He looks peaceful.]
Leon: [I CAN HEAR YOU.]
---
They cut him down eventually.
Leon landed on his face.
He stood up, brushed dirt off his clothes, and pretended nothing happened.
Leon: [Anyway.]
Leon: [The golem is this way.]
They kept walking.
Five minutes later, they found it.
The golem.
A ten-foot tall rock monster standing in a small clearing.
It turned its head slowly.
Creak.
It saw them.
Lira: […That's bigger than I expected.]
Lira: [Why is it bigger than I expected?]
Lira: [Who allowed this?]
Leon stepped forward, sword raised.
Leon: [Stand back, Princess.]
Leon: [I will handle this.]
He charged.
Leon: [HYAAAAAAH!]
He swung his sword at the golem's leg.
CLANG.
The sword bounced off.
Leon: […What.]
The golem raised one massive stone fist.
Leon: [Oh.]
BOOM.
Leon was sent flying into a bush.
Elena: [Leon!]
Elena: […Are you dead?]
Leon, from the bush:
Leon: [I am… tactically resting.]
Lira: [He's dead.]
Lira: [We're going to die.]
---
The golem turned toward Lira and Elena.
It took a step.
The ground shook.
Lira grabbed Elena's arm.
Lira: [Run?]
Elena: [Run.]
They ran.
The golem chased them.
CRASH. CRASH. CRASH.
Trees broke behind them.
Lira was running in a skirt and armor that weighed more than her will to live.
Lira: [WHY IS IT SO FAST?!]
Elena: [GOLEMS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FAST!]
Lira: [THIS ONE DIDN'T READ THE MANUAL!]
They reached a dead end.
A cliff.
A small cliff.
Like, five feet tall.
But still a cliff.
Lira looked down.
Lira: [We can jump this.]
Elena: [Agreed.]
They jumped.
They landed.
They were fine.
The golem reached the edge.
It looked down.
It was ten feet tall.
It stepped off.
CRASH.
It landed face-first, its entire body buried in the dirt.
Silence.
Lira and Elena looked at each other.
Lira: […Did we just win by being cowards?]
Elena: [I think we did.]
From the bushes, Leon emerged, covered in leaves.
Leon: [Excellent teamwork.]
Lira: [You were unconscious.]
Leon: [I was gathering intelligence.]
---
They approached the fallen golem.
It wasn't moving.
Lira poked it with her foot.
Nothing.
Lira: [So we just… report this?]
Elena: [We need proof of defeat.]
Elena: [Usually a piece of the core.]
Leon stepped forward, sword ready.
Leon: [Allow me.]
He raised his sword to strike the golem's chest—
The golem's eyes glowed red.
It grabbed Leon's ankle.
Leon: [WAIT—]
It threw him.
Leon sailed through the air like a yellow-haired missile.
He crashed into a tree.
The tree fell.
Leon did not get up.
Lira: […He's actually dead this time.]
The golem stood up, shaking dirt off its body.
It looked at Lira.
Then at Elena.
It chose Lira.
It charged.
Lira: [OH NO.]
Lira: [OH NO NO NO.]
She raised both hands instinctively.
Mana exploded around her.
Not gathered.
Not controlled.
Just… exploded.
The air turned blue.
The ground cracked.
Lira's eyes glowed with raw, unfiltered power.
Lira: [I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THIS—]
She unleashed everything.
A pillar of blue light shot into the sky.
The forest shook.
Birds died of shock three kingdoms away.
When the light faded, the golem was gone.
Not defeated.
Not destroyed.
Just… gone.
Vaporized.
There was a crater where it stood.
A perfect, smoking crater.
Elena was lying on the ground, covered in soot, her silver hair sticking straight up.
Elena: […Princess?]
Lira looked at her hands.
They were smoking slightly.
Lira: […Oops.]
---
The teacher arrived ten minutes later with a squad of healers.
He looked at the crater.
He looked at the unconscious Leon being carried on a stretcher.
He looked at Elena, who was still sitting in the dirt, making small noises.
He looked at Lira, who was standing in the center of the crater, looking guilty.
Teacher: […What happened?]
Lira: [Magic.]
Teacher: [That was not magic.]
Teacher: [That was a war crime.]
Lira looked down.
Lira: […Sorry.]
The teacher sighed deeply, like a man who had lost his faith in education.
Teacher: [You passed.]
Lira blinked.
Lira: [I did?]
Teacher: [The golem is defeated.]
Teacher: [Technically.]
Teacher: [And you are alive.]
Teacher: [Also technically.]
He pointed at the crater.
Teacher: [But you will pay for the property damage.]
Lira: […I'm a princess.]
Teacher: [Then the kingdom will pay.]
Lira: [Oh.]
Lira: [That's worse.]
---
That evening, Lira sat in the academy bathhouse.
The hot water was the only thing keeping her sane.
She sank until only her eyes were above the surface.
Lira: [I almost died.]
Lira: [I almost killed everyone.]
Lira: [And I passed.]
She made a small noise of despair.
Elena entered the bath from the other side.
She was still slightly singed.
Elena: [Princess!]
Elena: [That explosion was amazing!]
Elena: [Can you teach me?]
Lira: [No.]
Lira: [Never.]
Lira: [I'm never using magic again.]
Elena floated closer.
Elena: [But you're so powerful!]
Elena: [Like a goddess of destruction!]
Lira: [That is not a compliment.]
Elena laughed.
Elena: [Leon is in the infirmary.]
Lira: [Is he okay?]
Elena: [He keeps saying he "blocked the tree with his face."]
Elena: [The healers say he has a concussion.]
Lira: […Of course he does.]
They sat in silence for a moment.
The steam rose between them.
Elena: [Princess.]
Lira: [Hmm?]
Elena: [Today was fun.]
Lira turned her head slowly.
Lira: [You have brain damage too.]
Elena smiled, her blue eyes soft in the warm light.
Elena: [Maybe.]
Elena: [But I meant it.]
Lira looked away, her face turning slightly red.
Lira: […You're weird.]
Elena: [You're weirder.]
Elena: [And that's why I like you.]
Lira sank completely under the water.
Bubbles rose to the surface.
Lira, underwater:
Lira: [I HATE THIS WORLD.]