Only the bedside lamp remained on in Su Xiaoman's rented room. The door of the fabric wardrobe was half open, half empty inside, hangers hanging crookedly from the rod. The old duffel bag sat by the door, the zipper unzipped, a folded sleeve poking out.
The livestream camera automatically framed the area between the bed and the desk. Fixed angle. The lens did not move.
Su Xiaoman leaned back against me, her back pressed to my chest. My arm passed through the space beside her waist, my hands folded in front of her, my chin resting on her shoulder. Her shoulders tensed for a second, then slowly loosened. The back of her head rested against my collarbone.
"From now on, you're with us." She didn't hesitate. "Okay."
Tsukago knelt on the floor. In front of her sat a small bottle of nail polish. Light cherry-blossom pink. The bottle reflected the warm light of the bedside lamp. She unscrewed the cap and dabbed the brush twice against the rim of the bottle, then lifted Su Xiaoman's left foot.Her toenails were clipped very short, the edges not quite even.
"As a girl, I'll paint them for you." She dipped the brush into the polish and started with the big toe, stroke by stroke. When the bristles swept across the nail, Su Xiaoman's toe curled back, then relaxed and settled back into Tsukago's palm.
Su Xiaoman reached over and pulled her laptop from the nightstand. She lifted the screen. The email icon was marked with a few red notification badges. She clicked one open—it was the reply from the company she'd interviewed with that morning. She read it through, then turned to me.
"I passed the interview. They want me to report on Monday."
"Did you see that. Do what we tell you, and this is the result." She nodded. Tsukago switched to the right foot, dipped the brush a second time, and started with the big toe. Su Xiaoman closed the laptop and set it on the nightstand. The screen went dark.She looked down at Tsukago's hands, the brush pushing back and forth across her toenail.
"The skirt you picked for me is better than anything I would have chosen myself."
"From now on, as a girl, I'll go shopping with you. I'll help you pick."
Tsukago tilted her head and lowered her voice. "Sister, when she complimented the skirt just now, she wasn't looking at you. She was looking at this girl."
"That's because you were standing right in front of her. Your headband was reflecting light into her eyes."
"This girl's headband is light pink. It doesn't reflect." Su Xiaoman hadn't heard this exchange. She was looking down at her freshly painted toenails.
She nodded. No hesitation, just as fast as she'd answered okay earlier. Tsukago finished the last little toe and screwed the cap back on. She rested Su Xiaoman's foot gently on her own knee, bent down, and blew softly on the still-wet polish. Su Xiaoman's toes twitched slightly in the cool stream of air.
[chat] Three in one frame
[chat] Painting nails is so gentle
[chat] Daughter's hands are so skillful 😭
[chat] This scene is too healing
I released my arms from around her waist and pulled her phone out of my pocket. The screen showed three unread messages, all sent before the job fair that morning. The sender was marked Dad. I opened them and scrolled.
Your mother is asking if you've found a job yet. Your cousin got another promotion this year. We don't need you to send money home, but you need to have something to fall back on yourself.
I turned the screen toward her. She glanced at it, then flipped the phone over and pressed it facedown on the bed.
"Before, every time I saw messages like this, I just wanted to find an excuse. Now I don't need to. I found a job. I have something to fall back on."
"Messages like this will come less and less. Not because they stop sending them—because you no longer need to feel tense about them."
She picked the phone up from the bed and held it out to me. I didn't take it.
"Delete them yourself." She opened the three messages, long-pressed, and deleted them. Then she opened her contacts and paused on the entry for Dad. Her finger hovered over the screen, and then she backed out. She didn't block the number.
"I'll keep it for now. One day, when they realize I'm not replying anymore, they'll know. Someone else is making my decisions for me."
——When she gave us the credit, it wasn't gratitude she was giving away.It was the last trace of the thought that she could do it herself.
Tsukago screwed the cap of the nail polish bottle tight and set it on the nightstand. The bottom of the bottle met the wood surface with a soft sound. She sat down on the floor beside my knee. The squirrel's ear poked out from the pocket of her apron. Su Xiaoman looked at the squirrel.
"Its name is Lychee. Lychee doesn't need to make decisions. It has nothing to choose. But you chose. You chose this girl and us."
"I chose. I chose the moment I ran out of the job fair entrance. That candy was my ballot." She pulled her foot back from Tsukago's knee, rested it on the edge of the bed, and looked down at her painted toenails. The cherry-blossom pink gleamed under the bedside lamp.
The glow of the bedside lamp cast all three of our shadows onto the wall. Su Xiaoman's profile was wrapped in my arms. Tsukago's shadow layered up from below. The three shadows met at the edge of the circle of light, impossible to tell where one began and the others ended.
💬 Three in one frame is too beautiful
💬 The circle of light from the bedside lamp is so warm
💬 Su Xiaoman's toenail color looks so good
💬 This scene could be a wallpaper
Su Xiaoman lowered her foot from the edge of the bed and set it on the floor. She stood up, walked to the door, and zipped the duffel bag shut. The sound of the zipper was especially loud in the quiet room. Then she walked back and sat down beside me.
"What else do I need to bring." "You don't need to think about that question. As a girl, I'll tell you what to bring."
She nodded. A third time. As fast as the first two. The bedside lamp flickered once, then steadied. The three shadows on the wall swayed and settled back into place. Outside the window, someone walked through the corridor of the tube-shaped building. A sound-activated light turned on and then off. None of us moved.