Warning: Tranphobia, suicide, biphobia, and child abuse
James turned around and looked around the darkness, saying, "Pia, Jeff, Mason, anyone there?" Then a familiar voice responded, "Who are those people, sweet?" A blinding light washed over me as I found myself in the kitchen, the same kitchen I hadn't seen in years, looking around and seeing my mom cooking, a warm smile on her face. "You'd better get ready for dinner so change out of those clothes," she said as I went into my room. Looking in the mirror seeing myself once more as an 8-year-old kid.
Jeff's eyes went big as he heard a voice he hadn't heard in a while, "Why do you always complain?" Seeing my mom yelling at dad, "I complain because you never do anything in this house, you never help me." I sat at the table, seeing my older brother with my younger sister. She was in tears, and I tried to help her. "Look what you did, you made her cry," My dad barked to my mom, "Oh look, you're always causing problems." "Oh, me? That's rich coming from you," I said as my chest felt tight, looking down, seeing a large red diamond in my chest before it disappeared, hearing a voice, "Wake up, Jeffy."As I felt the cold stone ground, looking around, seeing Jame was lying next to him, hearing a woman talking before my eyes closed, then I felt the wooden table of his house. He looked around as everyone looked at him. Then the room faded to black. I opened my eyes again, seeing my mother saying, "I love you, Mom. When is he going to be home?" She smiled and patted my head. "We are home tomorrow, he has a vacation," I looked down sadly. "He has been on a ton of vacations lately," She smiled. "You know you are not supposed to be a grown folks business," I replied, "I'm now 11 and a half years old enough. She still has a warm smile. "Get my purse, let's go out to eat, and go get your sister and brother." I sighed, "Why do we have to bring them?" She looked at me, bending down, "There, your family, and you are going to miss having them one day." I huffed, "I have a hard time believing that."
Mason opened his eyes, seeing this room once more "No, no I'm not back here," looking down feeling his long twisted tight hair. I didn't hear anything back then, smelling something burning. I ran toward the oven, turning it off before thinking to myself, "Where are they at?" But I was forced from my thoughts when he heard a crash. I raced outside to see a car crashing into the house. Shocked, I went back shouting out, "Mom? Dad? Anyone?" I said out loud, "This isn't real," and Mason looked around trying to force himself to wake before a blue light overtook him. I still didn't hear anything then saying "I feel like I'm forgetting something." I ran to the other people's house ignoring that feeling to make sure everyone was safe. I knocked on the door, not hearing anything, so I busted down the door, still not seeing anyone. I tried to find anyone, but I was alone, and tears fell down my face as time moved. Sitting by the fire, looking off into the distance, walking towards the cliff, staring down into the murky water. Thinking about everything from his last words to his mom to my parents "Just stop trying if you want to make a real solution break up." I slammed the door before they could answer. I decided not to eat that night instead. I had a text from Jamie "Hey did you come out to your parents," I texted back "Yeah again I think they got this time I wasn't straight or gay just bisexual. I hope what's been happening with you and Alex." Texting that name brings me some pain. Jamie texted back "We are still mad from the breakup with you." I sighted that it has been nearly two months since the breakup. I zoned back to the cliff saying to myself, "Hey maybe my dad is right, the world could be a better place without me."
Pia opened her house door, seeing her mom looking at her with a disappointed look on their face. I put my bag down by the door as my mother guided her to the couch. "What's wrong?" I said my mother didn't say anything, but she pulled out a piece of paper. My heart sank as it felt like something was wrong.
James changed into new clothes with a smile on his face, hope unshakable, then saw my father, "You home early?" I said with a smile on my face. "I want to surprise you on your eighth birthday!" I said with my face, the mom looked at me, then the dad, her smile was gone. My dad and I were laughing as he picked me up by my shoulders, swinging me around and putting me back on the ground, then my mom said, "James, why didn't you get the table ready while I talked to your dad?" I said, "Okay sure," I still had a smile on my face as I raced to the table, getting ready. "Why are you here?" She said he looked at her and then said, "He is my kid to Larra," she yelled back, "I don't care, Ben!"
Pia's mother looked at her when she saw the paper, "What is this?" I said, looking at the military form before me. "It's a military program, it helps us make some extra money," I looked at her, saying, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier!" My mother looked at me, trying to put a hand on my shoulder to tug on my heartstrings. "I just got the acceptance letter today." I moved away from her seeing through her false truth. "I just turned 16 yesterday!"
Jeff's eyes were locked with my dad's. "Why is dinner not ready?" I said, "Mom said, "She was tired from working all day. We need to find something in the house to eat." My dad looked at me, slapping me in my face, demanding, "Go into your room and don't say a word." He groaned, mumbling something under his breath, and I did what he said. I heard yelling and glass breaking. I looked at his bed, whispering to himself, "I'm happy you are nowhere right now sis." I heard a boom, opened my door, looked out, seeing my brother yelling at dad. "Watch your tone with me, boy," the dad said to Jeff's brother. "NO!" My brother said, looking at him, "Go to your room or else!" The dad said I did as he said. He didn't back down as his dad slapped him in the face and his mom ran out saying "STOP!" He slapped her, and Jeff threw a plate in his face, crashing on impact, and the room went quiet. My eyes glowed red, saying in between breaths, "Get away from them!" My dad ran yelling towards him, "You vile boy crossdresser," he tripped over himself, falling and knocking himself out.
James was done with the table before he dropped a fork, "I'd better clean it off," and he walked out of the dining room. "You can't just keep him with you the rest of his life," Ben said, "That's MY kid! I can do whatever!? I want to, that is not your kid," Larra said back. There was an uneasy amount of silence "Well maybe we should-" Ben was cut off by seeing James walking back into the room. "Dad, Mom, is everything okay?" I asked, "Yes," she said back. Larra and Ben looked at each other. The room went dark before James saw them all eating at the table. I was trying to fill the quilt with some saying, "Thank you for dinner the mashed potatoes, and the steak is delicious," She smiled at him. The talking was not working that well. Larra drank a large sip of wine. I couldn't remember what type, but I do remember the date 1989. She said her voice was uneven, "Something tastes off about this." Ben replied, "It tasted the same to me," She was about to snap back when she was feeling off before she fell to the ground, passing out. I looked over to my father's horrified face. "Larra," they both ran over to her, "Mom!" I said to her, my dad yelled at me to "CALL 911!" The next moment was a blur for me in and out of consciousness. I just sat there with my mom, my nice pressed black pants and white button shirt stained from the wine on the ground. I didn't move from sitting in that spot. The paramedic came maybe 10 minutes or 3 minutes I could never tell. They took my mom away to the hospital and the police came to question my dad. The last thing my dad said before going to jail was "I love you son, my little time breaker." I looked around my bedroom seeing the star stickers on the ceiling that were a gift from my dad, faded to black around me.
Pia got up, "Why did I have a choice in this?" I just said, "This is how life is sometimes my dear," my eyes filled with tears. "I didn't have a choice in this, why would I ever have a choice in anything?" I looked at my mother and ran out of the door, saying, "Please, Pia, talk to me." The clouds started to roll in as her mom watched on, tapping her watch, saying, "Call…"
Mason heard the lightning and the roaring of thunder behind me as rain poured upon me, looking up to the sky. As I got up, walking away before the ground gave away I felt time slow down, seeing the murky water below, closing my eyes. I saw my family surrounding me and my mom opening her arms to me. I felt myself opening his own arms, smiling to myself saying, "At least I stuck around for one last show." I then felt someone pulling me back up. I looked around, saying to myself, "I need to keep moving. I need to keep living. I will find an end to this one day." I looked around the time and moved again. I was in a small greenhouse surrounded by plants, feeling the sun on my face. Then, seeing a tall woman with dark brown hair and skin as brown as the dirt she loved. She was planting flowers in the ground without looking at "Hello, Mason I've been waiting for you." She looked over as he grabbed my hands. It was soft, and I blushed as she leaned down, saying, "My name is Life nice to meet you." I was unsure whether to take her hand, but knew I couldn't help but gain someone in the corner.
Pia ran out of the house as her mother called out for her to stop. She didn't listen; she just wished this were not real. I ran through the busy street filled with cars and people walking, with their lives stopped as she started to cough for breath near a park. Many of the younger kids were at school, and the older kids were on the day off, so I sat down near a bench. "Are you okay?" I looked over and saw another teenager who looked at least a year older than me, shaking my head no, "My name is Jacob, what's your name?" I sighed, saying, "My name is Pia, and can I trust you?" I laughed, "What are friends for?" I sighed, "My mother signed me up for the space program. And I am mostly going to be sent off next week," Jacob looked at me, "Should you be happy about that?" I looked at him, sighing, "My younger sister is going to be alone with my mother." Jacob said, "Do you not trust your mother?" I looked away, saying, "I do trust my mother with her but she has to work a ton of hours for us to stay afloat." Jacob, "Do you ever see how your mother sees it?" I turned away from him, "I do but it makes it so hard for me to understand we decided sometimes." Then a cop who couldn't see his face went up to me saying, "Is your name Pia Jones," I said, "Yes." He said, "You need to come back home, your mother called me and said you ran away," I froze, thinking to myself as I remembered his voice, "Terry, it's that you." He smiled, lifting up his hat to show his friendly smile, and gentle lavender eyes, the voice, "Hey Jones, sorry for scaring you but your mother is worried about you, and I'm not getting in between that again." I got up, looking at Jacob, "Thank you for the talk, goodbye." He smiled back, getting up, saying, "Nice chat with you too. See you in a couple. months." He pulled out a letter, and she smiled, turned away, and walked with the cop. Then the world melted away into darkness.
James' eyes flicked awake, looking around the car now 13 as he seemed in the car reflection. Seeing Houston looking at me, "Hey, James it finally woke up." Houston had a thin nose, a fit body, curly black hair, and heterochromia, one eye was dark brown, and the other was nearly emerald green. I asked, "How far is it?" She said she had to hold back her laughter, "Not much farther between you two." I looked out of the window, seeing large hills in the distance. I looked back to see Houston with a small black box. I carefully opened the box, seeing a shiny gold ring. "What is this?" I smiled, looking at my, "Happy 17th birthday, I want to give you something amazing just like you are to me, James." I leaned towards James' face before saying, "You need to stand for yourself Li." I snickered, saying, "Okay, I will after this much-needed vacation." I leaned in, looking at Houstin, who was about to kiss, before my mom said, "No kissing back there you two." They moved away from each other as I put on the gold ring. Houston teaser said, "Never take that ring off," I was going to say something. My eyes started to glow orange, then a blast of energy came from me. I looked around, feeling a ringing in my ears looking around, and coughing up dirt and smoke. My legs were in pain, my whole body was in pain. The heat was unbearable to be in. I felt the burning of my sink, and the smell of death in my nose. I looked around, seeing my mother crawling to hear my bones break and my eyes watering with pain. Forcing myself up by calling "Mom am on my way," limping to her saying "Houston wait for me-" I tripped on the fall over looking to see what it was. Seeing Houston's unmoving eyes going dull before me I yelled out in pain "Mom help me! Mom! Someone! Please someone help, help, help, us!" Tears rolled down my face yelling for help looking around the isolated desert before me alone surrounded by corpses. The world cracked before exploding into darkness around James.
Pia sat there in the back of the police car with my mom, thousands of thoughts still running through my mind. Her dad could really be a part of the Williams Foundation and the company incident. I looked at my mom for hope that it could be better for us. I rubbed the end of my black sleeveless dress. The woman officer looked back towards us "Where almost to your house we will all be for your future instructions." We reached our house, which was a two-to three-bedroom house, a rare occurrence for this part of Georgia. We arrived home to see my sister. She was shaking and confused. My mom had contained her emotions by now. She spoke calmly, "Pia, take your sister to your room." I looked around, seeing the officers before me, yet still protested, "We should talk about more, Mom." She grabbed my face, covering my mouth, whispering in my ears, "I will have you sent away tomorrow night if you don't get your act together now, Jones." I was going to cry, but I would rather not show weakness in front of strangers or my sisters. I politely said, "Of course, mother." Bringing out my southern accent, I got my sister into the house. Going upstairs into my room, locking the door, my sister quickly went to the window to the front yard. I told her, "Stop looking outside the window, or Mom is going to give up an earful." Her sister tried to wave her away, saying, "We need to do something instead of hiding." Pia groaned, pulling her sister from the window, saying, "Hey, what do you want to eat for dinner?" Her sister thought about it, saying, "Chicken tenders and fries." I can try to make that," I left the room saying, "Stay or- I will change dinner." That wasn't a good threat, and I know it. I closed the door since I didn't want to hear her argument. I went to the kitchen, where the officer was. She looked at me, smiling, and said, "Hey, Pia, how have you been?" I thought to myself, yet knowing that lying to the office is a crime to a high degree. I said, "I'm fine, officer." She rolled her eyes. "Pia, I told you to call me Frankie or Frank." Pia remembered the conversation, feeling uneasy, "Frank, I- Why are you here? I know you want to come to see me." Frank looked over to the cabinet, saying, "Do you want me to help you cook?" My hands smoked, but I stopped myself from saying "Yes." We started to cook, getting a frozen bag of fries. Frank turned on the oven, setting the temperature. I heard the officers helping talk to his mom seemed like an argument. We are nearly finished cooking, watching the last few chicken breasts frying. Frank tried to step closer to me, but I stepped away. Frank spoke in her strict voice but was trying to soften it "Pia, I want to apologize for the last time we spoke to each other." I glanced at one another, saying, "Frank, I wanted to be friends with you, but you didn't want that; you wanted more from me." Frank looked apologetic towards me. I saw the chicken nearly going to overcook on one side, looking around to make sure no one else could see what I was doing. I walked, flipping the chicken with my hands as the oil popped at me. Frank looked concerned, even though she should be used to this. "It's almost done, she thought to herself." Frank said, "I guess we are just not compatible with each other." Pia did want to cry, "I guess not." My mother walked in, sneering at Frank. She hardened her voice, saying, "Frankie, leave. This is a FAMILY conversation." Frankie bowed in respect, saying, "Good day, ma'am." Then looked over to me before glancing at the chicken. I took the chicken tenders out of the oil and laid them on the grid sheet. I heard the front door open and close, sighing to myself. My mother spoke harshly, "Are you ready to leave for your job?" She sounded more pleased to be sending her away. "I can not wait to leave you, but not my sister." I turned off the oven, looking at my mother sighing. My mother looked upstairs, then down. "Call your sister down for dinner. I can't wait for you to be straight out of your disillusionment." My sister came downstairs, looking at us. My mom looked at her, saying, "Dinner is ready to eat now, then we can discuss more about your father." The world around me froze and started to collapse around me.
Mason looked at the woman, and she smiled her warm smile across her face. "No you can't have a life that just is not possible." I walked back, seeing a man looking at me. "Just take a breather, kid." I looked behind him. The man had wavy, long black hair, his face was half-decayed, and he smiled. Then, finally, in his eyes, there was nothing except whites that were there. He blushed even harder when the men said, "My name's Death, it's nice to finally meet you, Mason." The world slowed down, melting away. As he was in a tent with Jeff he was sleeping then leaving from that. Sitting on a grassy hill picked up a poppy flower groaning seeing more flowers popping up as Life sat next to him. I said, "Is it crazy that I don't want to go home?" Life didn't say anything but Death did "Your parents were as- Um horrible mainly your dad I wouldn't want to go back either." Death pivoted quickly "But you need to face your family soon rather than later." I had a group hug Death saying "Do you want to leave this dream world behind?" I nodded my head as I took their hand the world surrounding me in light.
Jeff sat there looking at my dad, then my mother, who just stood there looking at her. She ran over to me and hugged her, "Are you okay Miland?" I started to cry, "Yes I am okay." She pulled away looking at my brother, "Take your brother and his room and stay there until I say so." My brother went over to him, and they got in. I just sat there on his bed, lost in this thought, before looking at Liam. "I'm me as a bad person?" My brother sat next to me. "No you are not a bad person you did what was right you protect us. Milandu is a strong person, reminding us that, and to protect the people that matter to you." I hugged him, saying, "Thank you," Liam pushed me, saying, "So how is school going with you?" I smiled to myself, "Good nice I guess," my face was going a bit red, then Liam said, "You like anyone?" I moved from the bed towards the mirror, away from him. "No, if I did I would tell you about it." Liam got up, looking at me, "So you do like someone?" I didn't say anything. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me about that, tell me something else you would like me to know." I looked down, his eyes quickly moving across the carpet, starting to sweat, and then in the mirror, saying, "Is it a guy I like, and I got something else?" Liam walked towards me. "Anything else you want to tell me?" "Can you just call me Jeff for short but just don't tell mom or dad yet ." Liam hugged him, "Okay Jeff. I like that name and your secret is safe with me," The smile walking from the mirror, Liam suggested, "You showed growth, your hair out again." I looked at him and said, "Dad said I look like a girl." Liam asked, "Do you want to be a girl?" I replied quickly, "No well no." More confident in my voice, "No." Liam touched his shoulder. "I won't let dad hurt you." They gave each other before Liam pushed him, "Okay I'm done with this sappy nonsense," hearing sirens in the distance. The world froze, falling apart around him.
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