[The Omniverse - Abyssal Outpost 42]
In the muddy, rain-slicked courtyard of Abyssal Outpost 42, Leo the indebted hero was preparing for his next eighteen-hour shift.
His standard-issue Abyssal Hardware broadsword had run out of magical energy. Desperate to save his meager Pantheon Bucks, Leo had sneaked out of the outpost to buy a cheap, third-party Universal Mana Crystal from a rogue goblin merchant.
"Finally, a break," Leo muttered, wiping the mud from his visor. He pressed the glowing green crystal against the hilt of his sword, aiming for the standard mana-port.
The crystal didn't fit. The slot on the hilt was completely the wrong shape.
"What?" Leo frowned, trying to jam the universal crystal into the sword. "Every weapon in the Omniverse uses a universal mana-port!"
A sleek, obsidian portal ripped open in the courtyard. Victor Thorne stepped out, his midnight-blue suit pristine and entirely untouched by the rain. Valerius, the celestial CTO, stepped out behind him holding a glowing datapad.
"Every legacy weapon uses a universal port, Leo," Victor said smoothly, taking a slow sip of his black coffee. "But Abyssal Dynamics is committed to pushing the boundaries of innovation."
Leo held up the sword in frustration. "Thorne! Where is the universal slot?!"
"We removed it," Victor smiled a cold, calculating smile that cared only for the bottom line. "True innovation requires courage. The courage to eliminate outdated, third-party compatibility. Your sword is the new Abyssal Broadsword Pro. It exclusively utilizes our proprietary Lightning-Mana connector."
Valerius tapped his datapad. "If you wish to power the blade, you must purchase official Abyssal crystals, which feature the proprietary shape."
"But those cost five times as much as universal crystals!" Leo screamed, clutching his useless weapon. "I can't afford that! I just spent my last tokens on this universal crystal!"
Applying his signature Corporate Twist, Victor didn't mock the hero's poverty; he offered a predatory solution. He tapped his gold-nibbed pen against the Tycoon's Ledger.
"We believe in consumer choice, Leo," Victor adjusted his cuffs. "If you insist on using your cheap, third-party crystal, you simply need to buy our official Universal-to-Lightning Dongle Adapter."
Victor snapped his fingers. An automated repo-skeleton wheeled over a vending machine. Inside were tiny, fragile-looking wire adapters priced at 5,000 Pantheon Bucks each.
Defeated, Leo swiped his corporate ID card, plunging himself further into debt to buy the dongle. He attached his crystal to the adapter and plugged it into the sword. The blade flickered to life, but the glow was incredibly dim.
"Why is it so weak?!" Leo cried.
"The dongle artificially throttles third-party magical output by sixty percent," Victor checked his gold pocket watch, turning to walk back through the portal. "It ensures optimal battery health, of course. Enjoy your shift, contractor."