Hidden Cloud Village.
The headquarters of the Cloud ninja.
At this moment, a group of people was sneakily hiding near the back mountain.
Minato Namikaze crouched low.
"Hiyasu, weren't we supposed to launch a surprise attack on the Hidden Cloud Village? Why are we hiding?"
"My god, Minato? What kind of madness is this? With just our numbers, going against an entire ninja village—forget the ninja, there are at least a hundred thousand civilians here. If each of them spat once, we'd all drown to death."
Hyūga Hiyasu whispered, then added,
"All that bold talk earlier was fine for boosting morale, but when it comes to actually doing something, we still need to know our limits."
"Then what are we doing here? Just hiding?"
Minato was still too naive.
A surprise attack doesn't necessarily mean killing people.
Its real strategic goal is to influence the main battlefield.
As for the method—anything that prevents the Hidden Cloud from fighting at full strength on the front lines will do.
Heh heh heh.
Hyūga Hiyasu revealed a strange smile, pulling out a scroll and releasing several large sacks. He handed one to Minato.
"What's this?"
"Laxatives. Special version made by Aburame Shiken. Minato, dump it into the village wells, reservoirs, and water pipelines—go wild, don't hold back. If you run out, come back here for more."
Hyūga Hiyasu said cheerfully.
Just imagining what the village would look like at mealtime…
Wow. What a beautiful scene.
"Uh… why not use poison?"
"Damn, I thought I was already going too far. Turns out you're the real devil, Minato."
"I'm serious. Poison is far more effective than laxatives. It could eliminate the Hidden Cloud's fighting force. So why use something so non-lethal?"
Minato couldn't understand.
If you're going through the trouble of poisoning them, poison would obviously be more cost-effective.
"Minato, we're here to cause trouble for the Cloud ninja on the front lines—not to give them a buff. Their main forces are all on the battlefield. If they suddenly learn their village has been poisoned, with many dead, and that the culprits are ninja from the Hidden Leaf… and their enemies on the front lines just happen to be Hidden Leaf ninja too—what do you think happens next?"
Minato imagined it.
On the Hidden Cloud battlefield:
Cloud ninja with tears in their eyes.
"The Hidden Leaf has no shame—they poisoned our village! Our families may already be dead! What should we do?!"
"Revenge! Revenge!"
"The enemy is right in front of us—charge! Take revenge!!"
"Revenge!!"
…
Minato shook his head rapidly, clearing away the chaotic thoughts.
"Hiyasu, you really thought this through."
Indeed, poison could kill many civilians, but it would also push the Hidden Cloud into a desperate, all-out fight—something the Hidden Leaf definitely didn't want.
"Hizashi, this is herbicide. Go take care of the farmland—vegetables, wheat, fruit trees… give everything an equal share."
Hyūga Hizashi's face twisted bitterly.
This somehow feels even worse than poisoning…
"Hey, your squad—this is a corrosive agent. Look for the tallest buildings and give them a dose. Also sewage pipes, water pipes—don't miss anything you see."
"And your squad—this is itching powder. Go spread it in bathhouses. Make sure to use a lot. Anyone who can afford to bathe must be rich, powerful, or influential. And if they're planning any 'extra services'… well, we'll just help spice things up."
Hyūga Hiyasu: I'm such a good person—helping bathhouses expand their business even during wartime.
Minato's face turned red.
Maybe… poison really would've been the least harmful option after all.
"Alright, everyone, move out. Remember—be quiet. We are upright ninja of the Hidden Leaf. Although we've unfortunately ended up here due to various reasons, we must uphold the 'Shinobi Convention' and never harm a single civilian of the Hidden Cloud Village. Move out!"
...
Minato moved gracefully through the village, scattering white powder into wells without a trace.
"Dad, what are we eating today?"
"How about your favorite rice porridge?"
"Really? Dad, I love you!"
"Hahaha."
A loving father and son drew a bucket of water from the well and went home to cook.
In the shadows, Minato looked at his now nearly empty sack and silently thought:
"Kid… may you still love rice porridge in the future."
...
Hyūga Hizashi led a squad.
"Captain… do we really have to do this?"
A Hyūga ninja hesitated.
"Stop talking and just do it. It's not like I'm asking you to die—what are you hesitating for?"
The ninja glanced at Hizashi, who was hiding far away, and twitched.
Sir… that's not very convincing.
"Whatever—here goes the corrosive agent!"
The green liquid touched the pipe—
Instant reaction.
A foul stench erupted.
"Not good—run!"
The Hyūga ninja fled desperately, using Body Flicker, Gentle Fist, Substitution—anything they could.
Because behind him…
The most terrifying jutsu in the shinobi world—
Heavenly Falling Giant Filth Technique.
...
Elsewhere, Hyūga Hiyasu stood before a Hidden Cloud hospital.
"Saltwater plus chili water… such a good thing. I rarely use this."
He quickly located the main drainage valve, found the water storage, dumped in the mixture, and increased the flow.
Then—
The hospital's water pipes burst open with countless tiny cracks.
Scarlet liquid sprayed everywhere.
"Ahhh!"
"AAAAAHHH!!!"
"AAAHHH!!"
…
"A great show at the Hidden Cloud hospital—listen to the chorus of screams."
"Very fitting."
Hiyasu sighed. Truly, I'm so poetic.
Then he turned and left.
...
On this day, the Hidden Cloud's vegetation mysteriously withered.
On this day, its infrastructure collapsed and shattered.
On this day, its toilets were packed to capacity.
On this day, its hospitals echoed with screams.
On this day, its bathhouses rang with laughter.
...
Outside the Hidden Cloud Village, near a mountainside—
"Hiyasu… isn't this a bit much?"
"What's wrong with it? If you do something, you take responsibility. If I don't leave my name, how will they know who to seek revenge on? Minato, Hizashi—you should leave your names too. This is a chance to become famous across the shinobi world."
Minato and Hizashi both shook their heads.
Hiyasu sighed.
Such a great opportunity, and you don't even know how to seize it.
Then he admired his work again.
"Good writing. Truly good writing."
After that, he led the group away.
On the mountainside behind them, several large characters stood out prominently:
"Shimura Danzō was here!"
----------------
Pls Drop some Power Stones
+100 chapters and support me on Patreon(.)com/Jixo