AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The scream echoed so loud, not even quotation marks could've been used.
"WHY THE FUCK AM I IN THE SKYYYY!!"
Falling through the skies, he quickly realized that humans are not birds. This might have been an obvious fact for most, but you never know.
"I THOUGHT I'D AT LEAST GET TO LIVE!!"
"WHY IS THERE A HUGE FUCKING MUSHROOM BELOW ME!!"
Boooooooooink ….. Boooooooink …. Boooooink … Boooink .. Boink… .. . .
"Thanks for saving me I guess how convenient.."
Relieved with the fact he survives the falls, he quickly checks if his body is actually fine though.
"I don't feel any pain but there's a slightly bigger problem."
"I'm fucking naked."
"And this mushroom is slimy as fuck."
He also notices something peculiar..
"Theodore? They named me fucking Theodore? I'm gonna get called Theo now? and why is it written with a black marker on my arm?"
In all honesty, it's easier for me to say Theo or Theodore than █████.
"I still remember my original name though, █████. Not sure if that was intentional or not though."
"Regardless, I'm guessing there's a reason we were given new names. It feels off though I don't get it.."
"I didn't get a last name though. Maybe I'll make one myself later."
Venturing to the side of the massive mushroom butt naked, he thinks about how to get down.
"It's still like 50 meters above the ground.. though there's a forest below me."
Looking out in the distance from various edges of the mushroom, he notices a lake in the distance.
"I'm just gonna brute force it."
He starts digging in the middle of the mushroom. It's incredibly soft, but for some reason bouncy when fallen onto. When the force is controlled and sharp though, you can dig through it like left out butter.
"This feels.. so weird.."
"I'm surprised I'm not puking though. This mushroom has no smell or anything though.."
"Should I.. taste it?"
"No I don't think that's a good idea.."
Theo, after making a small hole in the center, gets a rather questionable idea.
"What if I.. just try to swim through the trunk.."
"It sounds absurd but this material is so fucking weird.."
Neither jelly or water, it's just a really soft bouncy and.. swimmable through material?
"Well, it never hurts to try. It's probably basically impossible to dig through this fully anyways."
Like an arrow, or to be precise Theo is pretending to be an arrow, he jumps head first into the hole he created, taking a deep breath with it. Inside his head, all sorts of warnings are wailing, but Theo prevails.
"Fuuck this is disgusting but I am getting down.."
He thought wishfully, though he was going down at a slight angle. Therefore in a few moments..
pliiiop…
"AHHHH!!"
boink…
stumble..
Thankfully, the suspiciously large mycelium of the suspiciously large mushroom at a suspiciously convenient location acted as yet another cushion, though only once, making him fall onto the pretty tough ground.
"That kinda hurt.." with a small tear (combined with the mushroom slime) falling down his face..
"Which way was the lake again.."
While remembering which way it was, he laughs for a certain reason.
"This mushroom looks.. really fucking funny."
"This is basically a brown slimy thick lángos shaped but with sharp edges cap with a white trunk all while being composed of the potentially weirdest feeling material I've personally felt."
"Regardless, I'm quite sure the lake was exactly opposite of the sun."
Naked, but powerful, Theo walks and walks and questions the forest around him.
"You know this is one oddly mysterious forest.."
"Ignoring the giant mushroom and the occasional blue tree I come across it feels.."
"Interesting.."
Regardless, he continues on, eventually reaching the lake. Encountering nothing dangerous on the way, it's a lucky day for Theo.
"Ahhhhh~.."
Taking his little walks of fame into the water (still naked) he cleans himself (actually probably good he's naked for that) and submerges himself into the azure aqua (fancy wording).
"This is exactly what I needed."
"The sun is a bit closer to the middle of the sky so it's thankfully rising.."
"Though how long are the days on this.. Earth? What is this.. planet's name even?"
Submerging himself entirely he runs his fingers through the luscious slightly longer than average hair to clean off slime from there.
Rising from the waters, he flings his hair into the air, droplets coming out to all sides and the magnificent lion's mane coming into full glory.
"That was cringe."
"I don't have clothing. I don't have tools. Nor any containers for water, or any fire to sterilize it."
"It's gonna be a difficult road."
Walking on the beach, Theo looks around to see if there are any sharper than average rocks.
"I believe if I got that I could probably cut down a smaller branch.."
"Or even better shape a different big stone using the sharper stone into an even sharper stone.."
Soon enough, he finds a good looking stone.
"But I need two…"
"The beach ends here though.. I guess go the other way?"
So he goes the other way, where the beach actually extends significantly longer.
"I see shells, so there is aquatic life which is good to see…"
"I need that second stone though."
Dreams come true though, as a few minutes later…
"It looks perfect, in all honesty."
"Now neither of my arms are free."
Theo places one of the stones and…
TRAASKK
"Was that.. a spark?"
"Looking for gold found fucking diamonds!"
"Thermal shock anyone?"
With his newfound discovery, Theo goes back to the other end of the beach since the forest was what made that beach end in the first place.
"If I make a fire, find a wet stone, heat it up, and throw it into the lake it should crack and potentially make a sharp stone.."
Throwing one of the stones onto a tree to create a mark, and placing the other to the side of the fallen stone, Theo ventures into the forest to find dry sticks.
"I wonder if I can find some berries or fruit or vegetables whatever too…"
Stepping all carefully since, well, he's naked, he picks up a stick here and there and notices something growing on the blue trees…
"I wonder why I didn't notice these walking to the beach, they're bright fucking pink, and they're donut shaped, how does a fruit even grow like that?"
"I'll see to it later once I setup a fire."
After a bit of time Theo collects (probably) enough wood, and returns to his 2 great stones.
Arranging the sticks in a campfire pattern, burrowing them into dry sand, he gets to clashing the stones against each other.
"This isn't gonna work is it.."
"I'll go out for some dry moss or something too, pick the weird ass fruits along the way."
"The sun is a little bit over the middle now too, so it's ever so slowly setting.."
Picking some fruits and finding some dry moss pretty quickly, it's not a long time before Theo returns to the marked tree.
"Are these even edible though.."
"I'll try making the fire again, and solve the food issue later."
Placing some moss close to the site of stone smashing..
TRASK! TRASK! TRASK!
"Ahuuu Ahuuuu Ahuuuuuu"
Throwing the ignited moss into the sticks, luckily enough, they start setting on fire.
"Ah right I need a wetter than average rock.."
While the fire was starting up, Theo went to find some good looking rocks. Luckily for him, the day is sunny and not windy so the fire won't suddenly die off.
"This one looks good enough."
Carefully placing the stone into the fire, he sits next to the campfire and places the picked fruits in front of him.
"So. Do I eat these raw or should I cook them.."
"I mean fruits are usually neutralized if heated to a high enough temperature.."
"It also looks quite ripe which is a good sign."
Making his decision, Theo puts the fruits into the fire too.
"Its so fucking hot though. Why am I sitting next to a fire in, like, 25 degree weather?"
"I'll need like 2 sticks to throw the stone into the lake without burning myself, and to pick the fruits back up.."
Conveniently enough, there just so happened to be strong sticks all around the edge of the forest and beach
"I am one lucky man!"
"The sun.. hmm.. if we assume 12 is when it's perfectly over the middle, it should be like 14 or 15 hours into the day?"
"Clearly, I probably still have time. I haven't seen any living beings yet though, only the shells on the beach, which if this forest doesn't have human influence is weird."
"Not even any bird sounds.."
Waiting a bit, the fruits looked straight black, so Theo took them out of the fire.
"Slightly burned. I'm sure the inside will be fine."
"Afuuuu Afuuuuuu Afuuuuuuuu"
"It should be.. cold enough to peel now?"
Peeling the fruits, it reveals a deep, navy blue fleshy interior.
"Sure is a colorful fruit, ignoring the bright pink skin turned to ash."
"Regardless, It's time to dig in."
Scooping the flesh with his fingers, it also reveals a large orange seed.
"It's like a jawbreaker.."
Regardless, he puts those flesh filled fingers into.. that sounds weird.. he simply eats the flesh.
gulp
A small tear ran down his face, and a smile formed on his face…
''It's.. It's.. It's so fucking ass.''
''Whatever, nutrition is nutrition…''
Finishing his meal, Theo believes that it might be time to throw the not so wet rock now into the water, to hopefully split it into sharper pieces.
''I honestly don't know how long it's been in there, neither how hot the stone is or how cold the water is."
He prevails though, grabs it using 2 sticks, and throws that stone into the water (but not so much he wouldn't know where it landed.)
"Would've been funny if the stone just fell on my toes instead of actually flying into the water."
Whether by luck, coincidence, or convenience, the stone splits perfectly into a large single sharp part.
"How nice!"
Picking up the sharp part, he also picks up some other remains of the stone, since they're also sharp but small.
"So now.. I use this to cut bark off trees, specifically, the blue trees had some real useful looking and easy to cut off bark…"
Feeding a lil bit of wood to the fire so it doesn't die, Theo ventures yet again into the forest to collect some blue tree bark.
"Of course their wood is fucking red even though the bark is gray and leaves blue…"
With a handful of bark though, Theo returns to the campfire.
"I'll consider this my base of all operations for now, I guess."
"Now I collected bark for a very specific purpose…"
"If I make a cup out of the bark and put water in it, I can throw smaller really hot stones into it to boil off the bacteria!"
"What a genius I am, and I was just getting thirsty."
Somehow one way or another making a cup out of blue tree bark, he fills it with water and throws smaller stones into the fire.
"Now in the meantime I should use some bark for recording…"
"Marking a line for day 1 using this smaller stone.."
"Gonna assume it's Monday though I doubt this world uses the earthly days…"
"Season wise, it's like spring to summer…"
After some consideration about what to record on this larger piece of bark, Theo just marks a single line, as in to mark a single day…
"I should make, like, an ID card on a smaller piece of bark though… no that's stupid i'll just write my name on the bottom of the big piece of bark…"
"Theodore of course, █████ is probably too dangerous to write anywhere in this new world, again there has to be a reason they gave me a new name…"
"Should I create a last name? If this World is in the medieval ages that could be dangerous though, we don't want people to assume I'm a noble…"
''Though if anyone ever asks me, I guess I could say the last name is Deus because I believe Theodore means like god's gift and deus is god in latin so it'll be pretty funny…''
''I can also add some random middle thingie like le or van or de so it's fancier…''
''Theodore de Deus sounds the coolest, I'm not gonna lie, rolls off the tongue basically.''
After writing his name on the large bark, believing the stones are now hot enough, he throws them into the cup of water.
''This'll be so dirty and disgusting but as far as I'm aware it's still better than not drinking anything.''
Swallowing it all down, Theo quickly gets to work on his next goal.
''I need.. clothing. Or something like that.''
''Man, how do I even make any sort of clothing… it's not like there's any animal skin or large leaves I can use, nor any flax I saw around or any other type of plant that could be used in such a way…''
FWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
''WAS THAT A FUCKING DRAGONN?!!''
''ahgmerbrggogljha''
''MY FUCKING FIRE!!''
''Stupid ass water…''
''Oh?''
Looking at the beach, the quick onslaught of water washed something peculiar up.
''Is that.. a piece of cloth?''
An absolute grin formed on his face.
''What a FANTASTIC coincidence!''
''It seems like by creating 50 other problems, the dragon has solved one for me. What a kind individual! Though I'm honestly underestimating this by saying it's a piece of cloth, because what are these proportions? This thing is like 5 by 5 meters! How did this even end up here?''
''Ohohoho.. I can't say I hate this though.''
Ignoring the fact he'll have to collect more dry wood since his current wood is wet and unusable, Theo quickly gets to rolling the cloth and transporting it to the base of operations.
''Hm. All my bark got washed away and I've got ZERO idea where they are. At least my rocks are still in their place, including the bark cup since it had stones inside it.''
Theo has a good memory, so he doesn't care about the bark, just scratching the marked tree to mark it as day 1, and his name Theodore de Deus being ingrained in his head.
Noticing a large amount of washed up fish too, Theo quickly goes to collect more dry moss and wood, as he is not missing out on that protein.
Considering the fact he remembers the hotspots for such materials from his last ventures, it does not take much time to collect them all.
I doubt we need to restate the various processes in making a fire.
Grabbing more sticks in the forest since he also lost those to the waters, he cuts one up into a spearlike shape.
''Hehehehehehe…''
Thrusting a fish onto the stick…
''Wait how the fuck do I cook this over a fire it's a wooden fucking stick im an idiot…''
''Do I just.. leave it in the ashes? A little carbon never hurt anyone I guess…''
Using the stick to put the fish into the fire directly, he leaves it there for a bit to cook.
''The sun is setting. Did that much time really pass?''
Reveling in the sunset, Theo still had a question on his mind.
''But why?''
It's a completely regular question, in fact, maybe everyone has asked it at some point in their lives.
Theo has a peculiar answer to the question inside his head though.
''I mean why should I care, I'm literally talking to myself. You could ask the same thing to that, or to anything I do.''
''But why is he talking to himself?''
''But why did Rosalyne cry?''
''But why did he make a cup out of bark?''
''But why yeah no I'm tired of making random ass questions…''
''You know I just do things by heart I guess.''
''Exactly why this fuckass fish is burned, because I forgot that instead of talking to myself I should care about my now burned food.''
''Whatever, no one even hears me anyways.''
Sticking his stick into the now cooked fish, he wonders how he could eat it.
''I didn't empty the organs out or anything so I'm quite unsure from where I should start and what to eat.''
''Oh well, whatever.''
Simply biting into the sides, scraping whatever flesh there was, Theo enjoys a delightful meal.
''That shit had no seasoning but it still somehow tasted pretty good, I guess I'll pick up more washed up fishes and store them here or something.''
Soon, he finishes this nightly activity.
''You know, the sun is down. The stars are up. I'm also still naked, though I'm too lazy to make something like a loincloth today.''
''What's the brightest star in the night sky?''
''Does this world have a moon?''
''Looking up at the sky, I don't see one.''
Theo lays down on the big piece of cloth.
''In all honesty, I'm almost fully fucking covered in sand.''
''Regardless, there is a bright star in the nightly sky.''
''Should I name it something? I doubt it'll be useful.''
''Well, it's just a bright insight. Get it?''
''Again, who am I talking to.''
"..."
''Sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la sha la la sha la la la la laa.''
"..."
Soon enough, Theo falls asleep. Weirdly enough, the texture of the wet cloth and sand invoke a particularly comfortable sleep, even more so with the ideal colder temperatures at night.
But sleep does not last forever, as with a few hours passing, the sun is to rise again.
Neither birds or other potential animals are to sing their morning melodies this morning though, so Theo remains asleep.
spliosh… spliosh… splio-
"ueuhhh- The FUCK is that?!"
Waking up from his slumber, awoken by a weird sound and feel, Theo quickly sees the disruptor.
"Is that a.. slime?"
"Holy shit it's just like in the uhh fucking manga and anime!"
Picking the slime up with one hand holding it like you'd hold a kitten, it's honestly pretty cute.
"Where did this cute little guy even come from? It's even got a core in the middle, I guess that's how I'd destroy it."
"I thought you could like, pierce slimes with just your hand or a simple sharp stick though. This thing has one thick ass translucent skin…"
Wondering what to do with his little friend, he has a few ideas. Eat it. Destroy it. Keep it. Throw it into the waters.
However, none of those exactly strike Theo as good ideas, eventually deciding on something different entirely.
"You're gonna be my little experimental subject in this magical world!"
Forgetting he has to make stuff out of the cloth, Theo digs a large hole into the sand so the slime can't escape.
He does get to cutting the cloth though, cutting a rectangle out and putting it as the walls of the cylinder-like hole.
"Definitely a top 5 use of the cloth."
Putting small rocks on the bottom, he puts the slime into the hole.
"Just gonna tear a little bit off…"
Theo forcefully rips off a piece of flesh from the slime, intending to do various experiments with it later down the line.
"I wonder if this is flammable.. regardless, slimes can usually consume things to regenerate themselves."
So it was time to eat. Not himself, but the slime.
Putting various materials around the base of operations onto the slime, there is not much reaction.
"It only consumed the shells, everything else was stagnant… What about the fruits?"
Feeding it a fruit, something intriguing happened.
"Did it just… grow bigger?"
"It also regenerated what I took out of it…"
Upon finding this new discovery, it was time to experiment on the taken flesh itself.
''Can I use it as fire fuel?''
''Can I eat it?''
''Can it somehow glue things together?''
After performing various experiments, the answer was yes to almost every question, including all 3 asked at first.
''Gotta love universal materials!''
Since the slime is regenerated by feeding it the fruits, one might say Theo has discovered a golden goose.
Soon after, Theo… washes himself in the lake.
''I can't with this sand…''
It's not long before he goes out and gets to work.
''Cut it like this…''
He might seem to be making it out to be something difficult, but in reality he is cutting out the simplest 2D shapes of geometry.
''The cuts are so fucking rough but I'm literally doing it with a stone so what did I expect…''
''So how does a man make a loincloth…''
''Well, I'll just improvise.''
''I don't want my ass showing so I'll just make it like this…''
Soon enough, Theo has his own, elegant loincloth.
''I think I'll make a chest piece too, I don't want to show my juicy, large, muscular chest to just anyone, of course.''
''I'll make a backpack too. No explaining needed for that one.''
Assembling various gear with the cloth, Theo finally looks more… presentable.
Eating a bit, drinking some, relaxing, Theo decides on what to do next.
''I haven't even marked the tree for day 2. I mean, let's be honest, what do I even do out here?''
Stabbing the slime with his trusty pointy stick, there's a clear goal.
''I'll take the sharp stone… the smaller sharper stones too…''
''Throw the slime into the bag too not like it can consume it…''
''Oh right…''
Quickly stopping his bagging, Theo quickly realizes he is not getting through the forest without any sort of footwear.
''I'll make some weird shoes out of the cloth real quick…''
Too lazy to make proper shoes, he just throws together the shittiest sandals ever.
''If I'm gonna have that slime in my bag I can't put the fruits into it as it'll just devour them…''
''Ugh I'll just make a second smaller bag…''
For some reason Theo is acting as if he's in a rush, even though there's literally nothing waiting for him.
Though, with the weirdly enough increased adrenaline, he quickly bags up everything again.
''Now now I think I've had enough of this lake…''
''Do I go to the mountain where the dragon flew, or the opposite way?''