"Now I am really concerned about the start of these chapters."
Magnus stated, joining the throne as if he was a part of it. Not sitting—joining. As in, melting. As in, if someone came in right now, they'd think the furniture was alive and clinically depressed.
"What?" Marianne asked, tilting her head, a familiar teacup in hand.
"This is the third time a chapter has started with me just... commenting on the chapter starting," Magnus muttered. "It's getting too meta. At this point, even the readers will feel like it."
"Readers?" she blinked. "You mean the staff?"
"You wouldn't understand, human." Magnus chuckled
"Don't talk like you are superior."
Magnus blinked. Looked at her, then snorted. "I am."
"…." Marianne did not like this attitude, however. She had no choice but to tolerate it.
Conflicted yet resilient, Marianne sipped Magnus' tea. "Don't you got stuff to do?"
"I am a king. Of course I have people to do work for me." Magnus weakly protested.
"That's the exact mindset I would expect of a tyrant."
Bob made a coughing sound that suspiciously resembled a chuckle.
Magnus shot him a sideways glare. "Bob, whose side are you on?"
Bob did not answer, he simply quieted down. Sometimes, remaining silent is the key to a greater communication. Or something, I just heard it from somewhere.
Magnus slumped further. "Betrayed by my own butler. Again."
"Whatever, there's no need for me to care about you people."
Magnus reached out for his cup of tea just to realize it wasn't there.
"Where's my cup?" His eyes darted intensely at bob, who hadn't done anything but even I feel like he would do something.
"Why are you asking me? Don't look at me with those eyes!"
Marianne stared at the both of them arguing, indeed. Two idiots.
"Wait a second...." Magnus's eyes snapped back to Marianne, who was casually wiping her mouth with a napkin, teacup now empty.
"You drank my tea, didn't you"
Marianne shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eye. "You weren't drinking it fast enough."
Magnus glared, feeling oddly betrayed by the warm emptiness where his tea had been. "You can't just drink a Demon King's tea without asking."
"Oh, I asked." She grinned. "You just ignored me, as usual."
"Ughgg!! What's with that face?? So smug! So cocky!"
Bob snorted quietly. "I'm fairly certain ignoring is Magnus's default setting."
Magnus muttered, sinking deeper into the throne. "You all are liars."
Marianne smirked. "Next time, maybe you should finish your tea before melting into furniture."
Bob added. "No way he can do that. He's Magnus."
She agreed. "Yeah, he's Magnus"
"...Don't call me by my name, you demons!" Magnus snorted
"I am human though" Marianne countered.
"Shut up!!"
Magnus glared at both of them but couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips. Even if they roasted him mercilessly, it was oddly... comforting.
Bob straightened his posture, clasping his hands behind his back like a proper butler, though the twitch in his lip betrayed the grin he was holding in.
"Shall I prepare another cup for His Majesty?" he asked, voice far too formal for the situation.
Magnus sighed heavily, it was already bad that some random knew he was from earth and now even worse that his tea was taken away from him. He didn't not speak, he gave a half dead nod, just enough for Bob to catch it.
As Bob was preparing to leave, a knock suddenly echoed from the grand double doors.
All three heads turned.
"Please let it not be work," Magnus whispered like a prayer.
The doors creaked open slowly. A nervous staff member peeked in—too new to know the chaos he was walking into.
"U-Um, my Lord," the staff member began, "there's a… situation in the west wing. An… eogekegdud has gone rogue."
Magnus blinked. "A what."
"An eogekegdud…"
Magnus smile faded at that absurd name. "Delete that being's existence. Its name brings me anger"
The staff member blinked, confused. "Uh… should I tell the extermination squad?."
Bob stepped forward calmly. "My Lord, if I may... what exactly is an eogekegdud?"
Magnus stared into the void for a moment. "I don't know. I just know it should not be."
Marianne squinted. "Is that even a creature or did the author just smash the keyboard and hope for the best?"
The staff member turned pale. "It looks like a flying kettle with legs. And it screams in boiling water."
Marianne gasped. "ITS A KETTLE?!"
Magnus slowly turned his head, expression unreadable. "...A kettle?"
"...kettle" Bob also participated in the surprised crowd, even though there was no reason for him to even speak. Fuck you bob.
"An angry teapot on legs," the staff clarified nervously. "It boiled Jenkins."
"Jenkins the janitor?" Marianne asked.
"No, Jenkins the head of security."
Everyone went silent.
"…Okay, that's mildly impressive," Magnus admitted.
"Do we have visuals?" Bob asked, already pulling a tiny notepad from his coat. "Any identifying traits aside from screaming water?"
The staff member nodded shakily. "Yes—It has a moustache. A steamy one. And… it keeps yelling 'I am the Brew of War.'"
Marianne wheezed.
Bob looked like he was physically restraining laughter. He took a deep, long breath and slowly exhaled it.
"Truly, a warrior among appliances."
Magnus sighed heavily. "Why is my life like this?"
"You're the Demon King," Marianne said helpfully. "Weird is in your job description."
"I signed up for naps and tea. Not this."
"To be honest, your life sure is impressive. Lust always complained how she had nothing to do but sign documents."
Marianne replied.
"How do you know all that?"
"Girls talk"
Magnus blinked. "Girls talk… about the workload of other Demon Kings?"
Marianne nodded smugly. "Yep. You wouldn't understand."
"Again!! That smug face! So cocky!!!"
"Unbelievable…" Magnus muttered, rubbing his temples. "Now even my fellow Demon Kings are gossip material."
Bob flipped a page on his notepad. "To be fair, you are the laziest one. That alone makes you mysterious to the others."
"I'm not lazy. I'm energy-efficient," Magnus defended.
"Is that what we're calling it now?" Marianne smirked.
the staff member was confused at the calmness of the individuals present inside the throne room. So, to bring a sense of security in their hearts. He once again stated the problem. "Umm.. lord.. We have an eogekegdud on the run, I don't think it's anytime to be argu-"
Suddenly, a sharp crash echoed in the distance, followed by a very kettle-like shriek of war.
"BRREEEEWWW!!!"
Everyone flinched.
The staff member paled again. "It's getting closer."
Marianne looked at Magnus. "So, Got a plan?"
"…I say we give it tea and see if that calms it."
Bob adjusted his tie. "It boiled Jenkins."
Magnus sighed. "Fine. Plan B."
"And what's Plan B?" Marianne asked, looking sceptical.
"I throw you at it and you fight it."
"You what?!"
"It's a solid strategy," Magnus said, voice entirely too serious. "Sacrifice the tea thief to distract the kettle."
Marianne stood up, cracking her knuckles. "You're lucky I get paid for this, but not enough to be thrown at a f*cking kett- ahem. May God forgive me," She corrected herself. "But not enough to be thrown at a kettle!"