The night was still long for Kao and Mok.
They stood facing each other, the chill creeping into their feet as the sound of the shower echoed around them.
Mok settled his hands against Kao's back, while Kao locked his arms around Mok.
Embracing tightly, their hips pressed together as their breathing grew heavy.
Their lips parted for a second, allowing their eyes to lock.
Their steps grew clumsy as they moved in a rush, before Mok pinned both of Kao's arms against the cold tiles of the shower wall.
Kao's back hit the wall with a gentle thud.
Startled, he stared intently at Mok, trying to read his expression.
Without a word, Mok began trailing kisses down Kao's neck, across his shoulders, and over his damp chest, leaving faint marks.
Kao bit his lower lip, desperately trying to maintain his control.
"M.. Mo.. Mok... Calm down..."
Mok didn't give Kao a chance to speak. He brushed his tongue over Kao's upper lip, trapping it before they parted, leaving both of their faces completely changed.
Mok's fingers swiped away the wet strands of hair blocking Kao's eyes.
"I can't wait anymore."
Kao felt a wave of confusion at the words.
Mok locked one strong arm securely around Kao's waist, using his other hand to slowly direct his fingers down to prepare him.
Once he found the right spot, Mok paused before moving further.
"Do you dislike this? I'll stop if you do."
Overwhelmed with shyness, Kao simply leaned his head against Mok's shoulder.
A complete silence settled between them as steam filled the bathroom with a thick white mist.
"What are you waiting for?" Kao's voice whispered against Mok's ear, laced with nervousness. "Do it."
Mok held Kao even tighter as his first finger slipped inside.
Kao tried his absolute best to stay calm, but his legs began to feel weak and uncooperative.
Even though Mok tried to proceed, his own fingers felt unsure and fumbling.
"It's my first time. Is this right?" Mok thought frantically.
"Shit, I am so aroused, I need to help Kao relax first."
Aloud, Mok whispered, "Kao, you need to relax. My fingers are having a hard time."
"How can... I... relax? How... do... I do that?" Kao mumbled back, his mind racing.
"This is my first time too. How do I control this tension? I feel so embarrassed. I am older than him, yet I..."
'It's my first time, and I can't say it aloud,' both screamed silently in their minds.
"Mok, I will try it myself." Without a shred of hesitation, he reached down to guide himself alongside Mok's hand.
"Wait, you will get hurt. Let me do it," Mok urged gently.
"You just need to relax. Trust me."
'Trust me.' The words echoed deeply inside Kao.
He withdrew his hands, wrapping them comfortably around Mok instead, tracing his lips tenderly against Mok's shoulder.
"I am going to try to enter one more finger," Mok murmured.
One by one, Mok added his fingers.
Kao endured the stretching silently, though his breathing turned incredibly heavy.
Mok could feel the physical reaction, his palm covering Kao protectively.
Once finished, Mok removed his hand, getting ready to fully enter him.
"Kao, can you lift..." Ashamed to finish the sentence, Mok manually raised one of Kao's legs instead.
Inch by inch, he guided himself inside.
"I am full..."
Unable to keep his body still from the sudden fullness, Kao struggled against the sensation.
"Everything felt so tight inside." Mok had to push himself to keep moving.
It was hard to even stand on the wet floor, both of them sharing the exact same fear.
Mok began to move, driving deeper and matching a steady rhythm. Kao swayed his hips in sync, losing himself in the pace.
"Ah..." both groaned together.
The wet friction merged with the sound of splashing water, echoing loudly in the shower.
Mok paused for a brief moment to adjust their position.
"Kao, can you turn around?" his voice shivered with intense pleasure.
Kao didn't turn. He held onto Mok tightly, overwhelmed by the sensation.
"What is this feeling? It hurt at first, but the more he moves, the more I want it."
"Kao..." Mok called out.
"Mmh...," came a soft hum.
Locking eyes with Mok, Kao drew closer and smashed their lips together, their tongues tangling deeply.
He didn't give Mok a chance to speak; his mouth captured his completely.
Kao slid deeper once more, startling Mok.
"Wait..." Mok gasped, but Kao did not hear him.
"If you keep going like this, we'll fall."
Kao drove his hips toward Mok's, trapping him against the wall, entirely helpless against the intense pleasure.
He kept his hands locked around Mok's waist, while Mok gripped him in return.
Thrusting rapidly, they both reached a simultaneous release.
Mok leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling.
Everything was a complete mess. Mok couldn't even tell what was water and what was… he cut off the thought entirely.
Mok carefully withdrew, making them both tremble.
Their breaths turned hot, even under the falling cold water.
Suddenly, Kao lifted Mok up.
"Hold on... what are you doing?"
Kao's eyes scanned the steam-filled bathroom.
"Let's continue in bed."
Without waiting for a reply, he carried Mok out.
Mok clasped his legs around Kao's waist to support himself as he was carried.
Their damp bodies left a wet trail across the floor, making every step slippery.
The wet shirt still clung to Kao's frame; he hadn't taken it off because Mok had told him not to.
The sound of Kao's footsteps broke the quiet dark of the bedroom.
He left the lights off, keeping the room dark behind the heavy window curtains, though a soft glow still escaped from the open bathroom door.
Laying Mok down on the mattress, Kao moved to get on top of him.
While Mok's eyes searched the bed, Kao gently smacked his forehead to get his attention.
"We can change the bedsheets later..." Kao whispered, his hands cupping Mok's cheeks.
"Mok... I can't wait..."
Pressing his face against Mok's chest, they locked each other in a tight embrace.
Kao parted his own thighs and lowered himself onto Mok.
"This angle felt entirely different;" Kao remained perfectly still.
The intense sensation made him grip Mok's chest.
Through the faint shine from the bathroom, Mok could see Kao clearly.
The white shirt stuck to him in name only, merging with their damp skin and emphasizing his lean, fit physique.
Mok gulped hard, overwhelmed by Kao's body.
Kao's hips moved with a desperate energy. He didn't want to wait anymore.
Mok pulled himself up into a half-sitting position, both of them moving wildly against one another.
They built up speed together, their breathless moans mixing with the sound of their colliding bodies.
Mok clutched Kao's neck fiercely with one hand.
Slamming together with increasing intensity, they both came at the exact same time.
Because Mok pulled out right as he climaxed, the fluid spilled across the bedsheets.
Afterward, they shared a soft kiss and locked their arms around each other.
Yet, this was only the beginning of their long night.
Their sweaty skin pressed together.
Though exhausted, they continued to try different positions.
Even as the hours passed, neither of them wanted the night to end.
Eventually, the dripping sound of the shower faded away.
The bathroom light was no longer needed to guide them.
On the large bed, the soaked shirt had finally dried, tangled half on the mattress and half on the floor.
Mok's arms were securely folded around Kao's waist and shoulder, his head resting gently against Kao's chest.
Kao's hands embraced Mok's back in return.
Their interconnected legs peeked out from under the blanket.
Mok's legs looked flushed from the cold air, but unlike Mok's chilly skin, Kao was warm.
Kao was sleeping peacefully, though his lips looked dry and sore from the rough night.
Mok's head rose and fell quietly with the steady rhythm of Kao's breathing.
Suddenly, Mok jolted awake, as if a sudden realization hit him.
He reached down to soothe his aching waist.
The warmth of the embrace felt incredibly comforting.
He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision, before the vivid memories of last night rushed back to him.
"No, I don't want to remember this. I really didn't know I had such an aggressive side... especially with another man."
Glancing down at Kao's chest, he noticed his own teeth marks left behind.
"If it weren't for Kao, no one else would ever endure this."
"But how do I escape from here? Don't wake up, please don't wake up..."
Mok prayed silently, begging that Kao wouldn't wake up before he could leave.
He carefully untangled himself from the warm arms, slipping away from Kao's side.
He stared down at Kao, who remained fast asleep.
Unconsciously, Mok reached out to brush a strand of hair from Kao's face, but he snapped his hand back quickly.
He bolted into the bathroom, his hands shaking in a hurry to pull on his clothes.
Seeing the bathroom reminded him vividly of everything they had done so shamelessly, making his face burn.
Mok tried to ignore the embarrassment.
Hurrying to zip his pants, he nearly tripped over his own feet before rushing out of the bathroom.
Mok started to step out of the room, almost making it past the doorway.
His mind drifted back to the sleeping man.
Before running to the bathroom, he had placed a pillow in Kao's arms, knowing Kao's hands would instinctively search for Mok's warmth.
Now, his feet refused to move any further.
"Mok, why are you just standing here? Just run. This is your best chance."
Staring back at the bed, he found himself entirely conflicted.
Mok squeezed his chest tightly.
"What is this feeling?"
Retracing his steps to the edge of the bed, he leaned over the sleeping form.
Mok pressed his lips softly against Kao's for a fleeting moment, before placing a sweet, lingering kiss on Kao's forehead.
"Think of me as a bad person, Kaopun... no, Pun. I really like to call you that," he whispered heavily, before turning and sprinting away.
"Maybe this will be the end. Sleep well."
Mok didn't look back a single time, knowing that if he did, he wouldn't be able to force himself to return to his dorm.
All the way down to the parking lot, he blamed himself for always choosing to run away.
Meanwhile, Kao's eyelids felt incredibly heavy.
He hadn't had proper rest lately due to all his ongoing problems, but today felt entirely different.
Slowly fluttering his eyes open, he stared up at his ceiling.
He reached out, instinctively searching for Mok, but found only the pillow he was tightly hugging.
A hint of disappointment crossed his face as he hugged the pillow closer to his chest.
"How strange. I didn't have a single nightmare today."
"Where did you run off to, Mok?"
Placing a hand over his chest, he listened to the steady, rapid thumping of his heartbeat.
Staring back up at the ceiling, he whispered, "Mok... don't run away from me."
Kao's mind was an absolute mess, overflowing with the lingering feeling of Mok's presence, while simultaneously being gripped by a deep fear of abandonment.
"Mok... don't run away."
For the first time in a long time, he just stayed in bed, whispering the name into the empty room.
"Mok..."