The shrill ringing of the alarm clock woke me up that morning. But the moment my eyes opened, my mind was instantly pulled back to last night. I suddenly remembered Sakura's face—that unsettling, fake smile she wore right before she went to her apartment.
My mind was completely exhausted and frustrated. I was on the verge of tears, my chest heavy with regret. Lying there in bed, I couldn't stop cursing myself over and over. Why did I even try to tell her indirectly? I was perfectly happy just being with her as a friend.
I was still trapped in those dark thoughts when Yuki woke up. She turned and saw me in that miserable state, my eyes already overflowing with tears.
She froze for a second, completely stunned, before rushing over and pulling me into a tight, comforting hug.
"Hey, Estival! What happened?" she asked, her voice laced with panic. She pulled back slightly to press her hand against my forehead, checking for a fever. "Are you not feeling well?"
But my brain wasn't working. My mouth stayed shut, completely silent. I just wasn't in a state to form words or answer her questions.
Seeing my silence, Yuki's panic only grew.
"What happened? Tell me!" she pleaded, her voice trembling slightly. "If you don't tell me, how am I supposed to know? Is this... is this because of me? If you have a problem with me staying here, I will leave immediately."
"No..." I managed to choke out, my voice thick with sadness, stopping her before she could leave. "You are not the problem, Yuki. It's because of my own foolishness that I am in this state."
"What happened?" she asked gently, her confusion evident. "Why are you calling yourself foolish?"
Before I could answer, she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly from behind. Her warmth seeped into my trembling back, grounding me in that chaotic moment.
"Share your burden with me," she whispered softly near my ear.
I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to regain control over my racing emotions. I wiped my eyes, finally deciding to just let it all out.
"Sakura wanted to talk to me yesterday," I began, my voice still trembling slightly. "We went to the park. She asked me some questions... about personal stuff. But I was foolish. I tried to confess my feelings to her, but I did it indirectly."
"Indirectly, huh?" Yuki echoed, her grip around me loosening just a bit as she listened. "What exactly did you tell her?"
I swallowed hard, the memory of Sakura's terrifyingly calm face flashing in my mind. "She asked me... I'm I loved you."
"Me?" Yuki's breath hitched, clearly taken aback. "...Then, what did you say?"
"I told her that I can't fall in love with anyone else," I replied, my gaze dropping to the floor. "Because I have already been in love with a person for a very long time."
Yuki was quiet for a moment, absorbing the weight of my words. "Then... what did she tell you?"
"She didn't tell me anything," I replied, the frustration bleeding back into my voice. "She just went completely silent and stared at me. And after that incident, when we were walking home, we barely spoke a single word to each other. Even when she finally went to her apartment, I could clearly see the sheer dissatisfaction in her eyes."
I clenched my fists, the regret gnawing at my chest. "I know exactly what she was thinking. She definitely thinks I'm just some creep trying to take advantage of our childhood friendship just to become her boyfriend."
Yuki gently rubbed my back, trying her best to offer me some sympathy and calm my racing mind.
"If she didn't tell you anything directly," Yuki told me softly, "then why are you making all these heavy assumptions on your own?"
"How can I stop myself from making assumptions?" I shot back, my voice cracking slightly. "I can still see the exact look of disappointment and anger in her eyes when I told her that. It's burned into my mind."
A heavy silence fell over the room. She turned her head to check the clock on the wall.
"Don't you have to go to school today, Estival?" Yuki asked with worry.
"I have to," I said, "but I just don't want to face Sakura."
Yuki let out a soft sigh. "How many days can you avoid it? Eventually, you'll have to go back to school, and when you do, you'll have to face her."
"Yes, you're right, but..." I trailed off, the anxiety tightening its grip on my chest.
"Look, it has a simple solution," Yuki interrupted gently, trying to reassure me. "If she really has started hating you, the worst she will do is avoid you. She won't do anything more than that, and—"
"Yeah, you're right," I cut in, a bittersweet realization hitting me. "Even if she is avoiding me... at least if I go to school, I'll still be able to see her from a distance."
Yuki looked at me, her expression softening. "And one more thing—she can't hate you."
I looked up, surprised by her confidence. "How can you say that?"
"Call it a girl's instinct," she replied with a faint, knowing smile.
Glancing over at the clock, I realized I only had an hour and a half left before school started. Wanting to break away from the heavy atmosphere, I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to freshen up.
I had managed to convince myself to go, but but the thought of Sakura starting to hate me was what hurt the most.
I freshened up and got dressed for school. When I walked out, I saw that Yuki had cooked vegetable soup for today. I went over and sat on the chair, and she served me a bowl. She then served some for herself, and we started eating together. The aroma of the soup was incredibly nice. The moment I took my very first spoon of it, I felt as if all my built-up tension had completely vanished.
"Yuki, you are an amazing cook," I told her.
"Thank you!" Yuki replied with a smile.
Then we finished our breakfast, and it was time for me to head to school. I won't hesitate to tell you that I was terrified to face Sakura. My thoughts were completely jumbled, and as I reached out to open the front door, my hands were shaking so violently that I could barely turn the lock. My mind was still completely distracted by fear.
Then, by distracting my thoughts, the doorbell rang. I started wondering about the doorbell ring—who could be ringing my bell at this time? it rang out again, once more completely disturbing my silence.
I took a sharp breath, forced my shaking hands to cooperate, and then I opened the door.
As it swung wide, my heart completely dropped. Standing right there on the other side... I saw that it was Sakura.