John was in the middle of a very intense make-out session with Yuulus when things started getting out of hand. The little changeling femboy had climbed into his lap at some point, his small hands fisted in John's overlord coat, his tongue doing things that made John's eyes roll back.
The kiss was deep and wet and messy, and Yuulus was making these needy little sounds against his mouth, tiny whimpers that vibrated through both of them.
"Master," Yuulus gasped, breaking the kiss just long enough to breathe. His white pupils were dilated, his black sclera gleaming, and his whole body was trembling. "I need you. Right now. I'm in heat."
John blinked. "You're in what now?"
"Heat!" Yuulus ground his hips down, and John could feel the little changeling's small cock pressing against his stomach through his pants. "It's a changeling thing. It happens sometimes. And right now it's happening and I need you to fuck me until I can't walk."
John's brain short-circuited for a moment. Yuulus was practically vibrating with need, his pure white skin flushed pink, his curly black hair a mess, his lips swollen from kissing. It was a hell of a sight. But John had somewhere to be. He had goblins to check on. A territory to expand. He couldn't just drop everything to rail his horny summon, no matter how tempting it was.
"I have somewhere to be," John said, trying to gently pry Yuulus off his lap. "Can this wait?"
Yuulus's face crumpled. "Wait? You want me to wait?" He gestured at himself, at his trembling body, at the obvious tent in his dolphin shorts.
"Does this look like it can wait? Master, I'm dying here!"
John sighed. "Then what do you want me to do? I can't stay."
Yuulus pouted, crossing his arms over his flat chest. "Then who's going to fuck me?"
John paused. He thought about it for a moment, tapping his chin. The answer was obvious, really. There was someone else in the mansion who was always eager, always willing, and currently not doing anything.
"How about Selio?" John suggested.
Yuulus's face went from pink to crimson in about half a second.
"What? No! Not that mutt! He couldn't possibly satisfy me. He's just a dumb hybrid who makes weird noises and licks everything. I have standards, master. High standards. And Selio is not—"
He didn't get to finish the sentence.
Selio pounced from somewhere behind the bed, a blur of gray fur and webbed hands. He landed squarely on Yuulus, pinning the smaller femboy to the floor, his tail wagging furiously. Yuulus let out a strangled yelp, his eyes going wide, his blush deepening to a shade of red that John hadn't seen before.
"Bwoof!" Selio said happily, nuzzling against Yuulus's neck. "Bwoof bwoof!"
Yuulus sputtered, his hands coming up to push at Selio's furry chest, but his pushes were weak, half-hearted. "Get off me, you overgrown rug! I didn't—I wasn't—this isn't—"
Selio licked his cheek. Yuulus moaned.
John saw his opportunity and took it.
"Kbyeeeee!" he said, and teleported away before Yuulus could protest further.
The world folded around him, and when it reassembled, John was standing in the middle of the goblin village in his goblin avatar. Silver-gray curls, handsome green features, fitted leather armor. The sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of orange and purple, and the village was alive with activity. Goblins cooking. Goblins chatting. Goblins doing the kinds of things goblins did when they thought no one was watching.
As soon as John appeared, the goblins swarmed him.
"Leader! Leader, where have you been?" one of them asked, tugging at his sleeve.
"You were gone for so long! We thought you abandoned us!" another added, her yellow eyes wide with worry.
"The hunting has been good, but we missed you!" a third said, pressing a cup of something into his hands. It smelled like fermented berries and regret.
John chuckled, raising his hands to calm them down. "I've been busy. Very busy. Important leader stuff. You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
The goblins exchanged glances, then looked back at him expectantly.
"But," John said, dragging out the word for dramatic effect, "I have good news."
"What news?" "Tell us!" "Is it food? More food?" "Is it gold?" "Is it both?"
John grinned, wide and sharp. "We're expanding territory."
The village erupted. Goblins cheered, hugged each other, and threw their arms around John in a chaotic group embrace. Someone started crying. Someone else started a chant that John couldn't quite understand but appreciated nonetheless.
But then the excitement faded, replaced by nervous murmurs.
"Leader," one of the older goblins said, tugging at his beard. "Isn't that dangerous? The humans have armies. Big armies. With swords and horses and fire magic."
"And the woods are full of wolves," another added. "And bears. And worse things."
John waved their concerns away. "It'll be fine. Trust me. I've got connections."
"Connections?" a young female goblin asked, tilting her head.
John nodded solemnly. "I'm friends with a demigod. He's agreed to help us."
The goblins gasped. A demigod? Their leader was friends with a demigod? The murmuring grew louder, more excited. Questions flew at John from all directions.
"Who is it?" "What's his name?" "Can he shoot fire from his hands?" "Is he single?"
John chuckled and held up a hand. "It's a secret," he said, winking. "Can't reveal all my cards at once."
He teleported away before they could ask more questions, leaving the goblins buzzing with excitement and speculation. That had been a good enough excuse. A little white lie. Maybe a big white lie. But it would keep them motivated while he figured out the next steps.
When John reappeared in his room, he was greeted by the sight of Yuulus getting his guts absolutely rearranged by Selio.
The little changeling was on his hands and knees on the bed, his small body rocking back and forth with every thrust. Selio was behind him, his furry hips snapping forward, his tail wagging furiously. Yuulus's moans were loud, shameless, and completely unhinged.
"Ahhn~! There—right there—don't stop—nngh—harder—"
John stood there for a moment, watching. Then he sighed, raised a hand, and conjured a sound barrier around the bed. The moans cut off instantly, replaced by silence. Yuulus's mouth was still open, still moving, but no sound came out. Selio's happy "bwoofs" were similarly muffled.
"That's better," John muttered.
He walked over to his desk, sat down, and pulled up the map interface. The globe spun lazily in front of him, showing the goblin village, the surrounding forests, and the human territories beyond. John zoomed in on the village and started looking through the building options. He wanted to upgrade the huts, maybe add some walls, definitely improve the defenses. If they were going to expand, they needed a proper base.
But the UI was a nightmare. Menus within menus. Submenus within submenus. Options buried under layers of text and icons that made no sense. John squinted at the screen, trying to figure out how to upgrade a simple hut, and felt his brain start to leak out of his ears.
"System," John said, turning to look at the femboy system who was floating nearby, his translucent form glowing faintly. "Can you make the UI look like Clash of Clans?"
The system stared at him. His blue eyes narrowed. His small hands planted themselves on his hips.
"No," the system said flatly. "There's no way I'm wasting my time making the computer I built work like that. You can't just upgrade town hall in real life, John. This isn't a mobile game. This is reality. You have to actually design buildings and allocate resources and deal with structural integrity and—"
"Booooooring," John interrupted, slumping in his chair.
The system's eye twitched. "Did you just say boring?"
"I said boring."
"I built you an entire pocket dimension. I gave you unlimited power. I revived people you killed. And you're complaining because the UI doesn't look like a game you played on your phone back in Sacramento?"
John waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. You're amazing. I'm grateful. Can we please just make the interface less stupid?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I said no."
"That's not a reason."
"It's my reason."
John groaned and put his head in his hands. This was going to be a long night.