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What had happened recently was no small matter.
A disaster of that scale naturally attracted the attention of the Avengers.
As soon as the news spread, S.H.I.E.L.D. immediately contacted the strongest Avenger currently available.
That Avenger was none other than Iron Man, Tony Stark.
The battle that followed could only be described with one phrase—
The sky itself seemed to tear apart.
Of course… technically speaking, it was Tony's sky that fell apart.
The entire city of New York saw it.
No—actually, the entire world saw it.
The footage spread everywhere within hours.
With nothing more than a casual wave of his hand, Magneto locked Iron Man in mid-air.
Tony Stark's advanced armor, worth billions of dollars in technology, became completely useless.
He floated helplessly in the sky like a metal puppet.
Then Magneto did something even worse.
He began manipulating the armor like a toy.
Iron Man was forced to perform 108 different awkward poses in front of the entire world.
Some poses looked like yoga.
Some looked like modern dance.
A few looked suspiciously like ballet.
And one pose strongly resembled someone trying to scratch their back but failing miserably.
By the end of the spectacle, Tony Stark's reputation had suffered severe emotional damage.
Eventually, the X-Men arrived, along with several other superhero teams.
Working together, they finally managed to capture Magneto.
To prevent him from manipulating metal again, they imprisoned him inside a specially designed plastic prison facility.
No metal.
No screws.
No nails.
Not even a paperclip.
After that day, Tony Stark completely disappeared from the public eye.
He had not appeared in public ever since.
This was the first time in history that the legendary billionaire playboy genius had gone completely silent.
Naturally…
Deadpool had also participated in that battle.
Well.
"Participated" might be a generous word.
His greatest contribution was photographing all 108 poses Tony Stark was forced to perform.
He then sold those high-definition photos to the Daily Bugle.
Ahem.
Just a small business opportunity.
A small profit.
Completely harmless.
Back in the present moment, Raven—also known as Mystique—finally explained why she had come.
"Wade," she said seriously, "I need your help rescuing Erik."
Deadpool responded instantly.
"No."
Not even a second of hesitation.
He knew exactly what kind of prison Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) would be locked inside.
The security would be ridiculous.
Ridiculous levels of ridiculous.
Why would he willingly run into that kind of trouble?
Raven frowned.
"Wade, if Erik remains imprisoned, the Brotherhood of Mutants will fall into chaos."
Deadpool shrugged.
"That sounds like a problem for the X-Men."
"They're already dealing with too many issues."
"Then they should recruit more members," Deadpool replied casually. "It's not like they have strict hiring requirements."
Raven raised an eyebrow.
"Who said the X-Men have no recruitment standards?"
Deadpool pointed directly at her.
"Aren't you the standard?"
Then he continued.
"Your X-Force, on the other hand, has no standards at all."
"You recruited a guy named Peter, and that guy doesn't even have powers."
Deadpool suddenly became furious.
"Hey! Watch your mouth!"
"Peter is special!"
"He has Type 1 diabetes and Type 2 diabetes!"
Deadpool placed a dramatic hand on his chest.
"And I have a strong feeling he's about to unlock Type 3 diabetes soon."
"That would complete the diabetes grand slam."
"Can you achieve something that impressive?"
Somewhere far away—
Peter sneezed.
"Thank you very much…"
Raven rolled her eyes.
Then her body suddenly shifted.
Her appearance transformed instantly.
Within seconds, she had become Peter himself.
She shrugged casually.
"What's so difficult about that?"
Deadpool stared silently for a moment.
Then he walked forward slowly.
He grabbed Raven's hand solemnly.
"Congratulations."
"You have successfully proven yourself."
"You are now officially invited to join X-Force."
Raven stared at him in disbelief.
"…I did not come here to join your imaginary superhero club."
"Wade, this is about Erik—"
Deadpool immediately covered his ears.
"I'm not listening!"
"I'm not listening!"
"Turtle chanting scriptures!"
Then Raven calmly added three words.
"The reward is one million dollars."
Deadpool instantly removed his hands from his ears.
He cupped his face lovingly.
"My dear…"
"When do we leave?"
Raven closed her eyes in frustration.
(ノへ￣)
She had wasted several minutes arguing for absolutely nothing.
Raven reached into her clothing and placed two objects on the table.
The first item was a syringe filled with glowing blue liquid.
The second item was a rolled-up map.
Deadpool picked up the syringe curiously.
"Oh, I know this!"
"This is the serum that gives people a perky butt!"
He examined it thoughtfully.
"By the way, where were you hiding it?"
He tilted his head.
"Your prison wallet?"
"The shape fits perfectly."
Raven's face darkened immediately.
She had lived nearly two hundred years.
Of course she knew what a prison wallet meant.
"No," she said coldly.
"This syringe contains the Brotherhood's newest research."
"The success rate is extremely low, and currently only a few doses exist."
Deadpool squinted at the liquid.
"But you still haven't told me what it actually does."
He pointed dramatically.
"Riddle Man, get out of Gotham."
Raven sighed.
"It's a shapeshifting serum derived from my DNA."
"After injection, you will gain the ability to change your appearance freely for about one hour."
"Just like I can."
Deadpool froze.
Then he spoke slowly.
"…Are you telling me…"
"I can personally transform into Bernadette Peters with four sizes larger than what you had earlier?"
Raven sighed deeply.
"You could transform into the President of the United States if you want."
Deadpool began gesturing excitedly.
"Oh my god…"
"I'm getting excited again."
"What if I turn into Jean Grey and go on a date with Logan?"
"Or transform into Professor Xavier and flirt with Erik."
Deadpool leaned forward conspiratorially.
"I've always suspected those two have something going on."
Raven stared at him.
(ノへ￣)
"If you try that," she said calmly, "Logan will chop you into meat paste and feed you to dogs."
"And Erik will seal you inside a metal coffin and throw you into the ocean."
"Also, this serum is for infiltration, not entertainment."
Deadpool sighed.
"Fine."
"So what's the price?"
Deadpool knew something important.
After Magneto's capture, many members of the Brotherhood likely had hidden motives.
But Raven?
If anyone were capable of betrayal…
It would probably be her.
In many ways, Raven was similar to Nick Fury.
Both suffered from extreme paranoia.
Both trusted almost no one.
The Brotherhood had simply been a place for her to hide after being rejected by humans.
Which meant one thing.
This serum probably came with a cost.
A very serious cost.
Raven spoke calmly.
"The serum temporarily alters your DNA."
"For one hour, you gain my shapeshifting ability."
"But when the drug wears off…"
"Your DNA may experience uncontrollable mutations while returning to normal."
Deadpool blinked.
"So basically…"
"I might get cancer?"
He snapped his fingers.
"No wonder you came to me."
Deadpool was actually the perfect candidate.
After all…
He already had cancer.
Raven neither confirmed nor denied his conclusion.
Instead, she unrolled the map.
She pointed to two locations in the Atlantic Ocean.
"There are currently two prisons capable of holding Erik."
"One was built by S.H.I.E.L.D."
"The other was built by the United States government."
"We don't yet know which prison Erik is in."
She tapped the map again.
"The other Brotherhood members will create distractions around both locations."
"You and I will each infiltrate one prison."
"If either of us successfully rescues Erik…"
"You will receive one million dollars."
"And if we fail?"
Deadpool asked.
"You'll still receive two hundred and fifty thousand dollars."
Deadpool's eyes widened.
He began thinking intensely.
Then he said slowly,
"So… from a quantum mechanics perspective…"
"If I stay home and simply tell you I left…"
"There's a 50% chance I receive one million dollars…"
"And a 50% chance I receive two hundred fifty thousand dollars."
Deadpool placed his hands on his hips proudly.
"Wow."
"I'm impressed by my own intelligence."
He shook his head.
"That stupid system must have had a bug when it rated my intelligence as only 10 points."
Raven stared at him.
(ー`´ー)
"Yes," she said calmly.
"But if we discover you stayed home…"
"You will have a 100% chance of being hunted down by the Brotherhood."
Deadpool thought for a moment.
"That's terrifying."
"Can I request that Hedgehog Man be the only one sent after me?"
Raven frowned.
"…Why?"
Deadpool replied seriously.
"I've always been afraid of prickly things."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid that my OCD will kick in and I'll start pulling out all his quills."
Raven frowned.
"How would you pull out one too many?"
Deadpool answered casually.
"He'll grow one extra if he enjoys it too much."
Raven stared at him in silence.
Then she sighed deeply.
She should never have started this conversation.