After I calmed down. Remen explained what happened. It wasn't that he and Yuna were plotting, no. It was that he put the act of getting me to open up for Yuna to handle. So that's why she was looking at me before opening her mouth to say some crazy things. I could have killed her; it did cross my mind. But then, how much of this was pre-planned, I don't want to think about that. It will ruin the moment we shared.
Yuna intentionally provoked me to explode; she thought that would be the best way to reach me. It worked, but it backfired at the same time. I might hate Yuna now, to be honest.
"I knew Maya would tell you eventually, not like I tried to hide it." Yuna said, holding her cup, slowly shrinking behind it," So, my methods weren't that thoughtless and backhanded."
Remen smacked her head," shut it, you were wrong. Accept it already," he scoffed," not to talk of all your scheming."
"I had good reasons for that…" Yuna glared, but it didn't faze Remen.
Collectively, we all ignored Yuna. Siri and Remen faced me. They still want me to talk, well, I already spilled, so why not? Maybe it will clear up my frustrations, or not. Let's just get this over with.
I told them everything. The whole interaction and how it made me feel. I thought it would be hard, but when I started talking, it was surprisingly easy, although having to face the fact that she rejected me constantly stung.
Remen scratched the back of his head," That's tough, it's no wonder you are like this. Now I know my plan will work."
What is his plan?
Siri didn't say anything; this didn't look like his expertise. That or he ran out of things to say for the day.
"So yeah, that's it." Thinking about it really doesn't make me feel well. My eyes dropped, and I could feel my back slumping," I just don't know why she would reject me like that. Saying she can't see me anymore, that is too much."
"Nero," Yuna spoke up.
I looked at her, and immediately I could feel my blood boil. What does she have to say now?
"I believe Maya is right for her decision."
I rolled my eyes," Here you go again–"
But she put her hand out to stop me," before you go on about me, at least hear me out. I am not trying to get a reaction."
"Maya is of middle-class nobility at first look, but she is the king's niece. She has ties with two kingdoms. From the very beginning, two of you lived in separate worlds.
Since she decided to take her role seriously, which means being faithful to her marriage. Realistically, there is no room for the life she used to live and those in it."
"What do you mean?"
"A person like you has no place beside her, not because she won't accept you, but because you will eventually be cast aside by the same people who chain her down. And you are, no, we all do not have the power to fight against that.
Such is the reality of our world."
Siri scoffed with a slight vex in his tone.
"I…." I opened my mouth, trying to say something, but nothing came out," No, it can't be…she said we will see again at the end,"
"That is possible, yes, but the life you envisioned with her cannot come to pass."
"But.."
"Maya's goals can only be grasped by her hands. Taking you would sadly get in the way. She wouldn't care about you if she did that."
So she went by herself, and what does she mean by 'get in the way'? Am I that weak? Am I that useless? What is this?
"You are not weak, Nero. As I said, noble life is beyond any of us. It takes a kind of power most people do not have."
Nobility? Power? Politics? I don't understand any of this. Why does this have to affect someone like me? Well, I was the one who decided to follow Maya all the way to her manor.
To think a small girl like her could be wrapped up in powers I can't even begin to grasp.
I'm not sure how to feel. I only know everything hurts. why…
Yuna stood up and then came to sit by my side. She reached for my back and rubbed it gently. Why is she doing this? Why does she always do this?
How am I supposed to hate her if she keeps doing this?
"So it's okay, Nero," Yuna said with a soft tone.
No. no. no. No. This can't be happening again, fuck, I thought I was over this. I can feel it. Slowly, my eyes blurred, and my chest began to burn.
Keep it, Nero. Keep it. You can't keep doing this.
I tried to stop myself, but it was no use.
My head fell and with it, the tears that had filled my eyes. I cried. Like a baby that had his favourite toy stolen, I cried.
My face began to burn up as I started coughing.
In this life, some things are beyond you. It is a fact. A fact that made me wonder how much I could really do? How much is worth doing?
And, should I even do anything at all?
I kept crying for a while. When I finished, I raised my head. Remen and Siri were gone, and the only one left was Yuna. She told me I should go outside for some fresh air. Without a word, I left. That girl, I don't know what to think of her. I really don't.
I made my way out the front door to find myself enveloped by a massive shadow. Towering over the base was Bella. She curled around it, as if she had been sleeping here the whole time.
She looked down at me with soft eyes, then gently nestled her head against me. Letting out a soft groan. I am sorry for leaving for so long, Bella. I know you were worried.
I am sorry. I was going through a lot, but I should have shared that with you first. More than anyone, you have never left my side. No matter what, you never did.
From there, we left for her cave, and I spent the rest of the day with Bella. We talked, cuddled and slept until the time when Remen asked us to meet up. I kissed Bella goodnight and left for the base.