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Eirin Yagokoro took exactly one clinical, bored look at the beginning of this inflated, state-enterprise-style financial plan and absolutely couldn't be bothered to read further.
Since they were both ancient, scheming old foxes who had played politics for thousands of years, there was absolutely no need for such transparent, amateur games. She calmly flipped straight past the fluff to the very last page, checked the massive requested amount of two million yuan, rolled her eyes, and brutally rounded it down by crossing out a zero with a red pen. She signed her elegant signature at the bottom and casually tossed the rejected proposal aside.
"Two million? Are these specific Easter eggs physically made of solid 24k gold, or are the chickens currently laying them made of solid gold?" Eirin snorted. "I'll kindly drop a zero to make the budget exactly 200,000. I'll officially let you two schemers make a little bit of petty profit for your trouble, but absolutely don't overdo it with my treasury."
The very next day, Aya Shameimaru happily arrived with a massive, heavy briefcase completely filled with the 200,000 in physical event funds. After safely getting the money, Leo and his newly expanded, chaotic group immediately began organizing the specific logistical details of the massive event.
First and foremost were the actual eggs; his upgraded wooden coop currently only had exactly ten producing hens, so it would take nearly a full, grueling month just to naturally prepare enough eggs for the massive Youkai population. Then there was the complex venue layout, massive food preparation for the banquet, and strategic location selection for the hiding spots.
All these massive, miscellaneous administrative tasks were effortlessly handled by Ran Yakumo. Having effectively, tirelessly managed the chaotic entire realm of Gensokyo for so many years on her own, preparing for a small, localized festival event was naturally an absolute piece of cake for the Great Fox.
Leo's absolute, primary, and most exhausting task was strictly to keep a hawk-like eye on the bottomless Yuyuko Saigyouji to prevent her from actively stealing and eating the precious stock of boiled eggs kept in the fridge, and to violently forbid her from coming anywhere near the farmhouse kitchen!
As for the specific egg-hiding locations, they strategically spanned the entire massive map of Stardew Valley. Since the participants were all super-powered Youkai, this egg hunt naturally couldn't be like a normal, boring human game on a lawn. Otherwise, with Youmu's blinding sword speed or Aya's flight, she could casually circle the entirety of Stardew Valley and find them all in a matter of boring minutes.
At the edge of the Secret Forest, Leo walked into the newly constructed "Heroes Hut" with a heavy canvas backpack, followed closely by a pouting, hungry, and clearly unhappy Yuyuko, who was forced to tag along so she wouldn't raid the fridge.
"Fan Bao, fetch me a tall glass of mixed fruit juice, and a glass of steamed white rice for this lady. Put it on my tab."
Walking up to the polished wooden counter, Leo violently suppressed the deep, adult urge to physically cringe and forcefully played along with the Heroes Hut's immersive, ridiculous roleplay atmosphere. There was absolutely no helping it; these energetic Little Fairies had become entirely, hopelessly addicted to playing fantasy hero.
They had enthusiastically transformed the old, ruined shed into a full-blown medieval tavern, complete with a long wooden bar, a massive cork commission board for quests, a dusty wine cellar, and sturdy oak tables and chairs. It actually looked quite authentic and cozy.
There was even a live, resident tavern band. The Prismriver Sisters were somehow officially hired and were currently on a small wooden stage playing their ghostly, acoustic instruments, while below them, a massive swarm of Little Fairies gathered to loudly drink sweet juice from carved oak tankards. It was very loud and lively.
Yuuka Kazami had personally, generously paid for all the massive, expensive renovations. Leo would happily give her a small, recurring cut of his premium honey sales in return, since they were officially using her terrifying name and brand for the tavern's endorsement to keep order.
Yuuka Kazami honestly didn't care about the petty money at all, so she completely let the chaotic Little Fairies run wild with their imaginations. Thus, a perfectly good, functional small farm building had slowly turned into what it was now.
At first, Leo awkwardly tried to talk to Daiyousei behind the counter about the upcoming festival event like a normal, modern person, but the green-haired fairy just kept politely, stubbornly shaking her head. She pointed a small finger at a massive, carved wooden board hanging on the wall and smiled apologetically at him.
"Those who enter the Heroes Hut, please strictly act like us and be a true Hero, otherwise we will absolutely not serve you any food or drink. If you are unhappy with the service, you can formally take it up outside with the S-rank Adventurer, Lady Yuuka Kazami. Signed, Guildmaster Cirno."
Heh. Leo's lip twitched violently after reading the crude, crayon text and struggling pinyin on the wooden wall. S-rank Adventurer?! She really was a massive 'S' in absolutely both terrifying senses of the word! And 'take it up' with her?! Absolutely everyone in the valley knew these weak Little Fairies were now strictly under Yuuka Kazami's terrifying, lethal protection. Cirno was definitely picking up some incredibly bad, arrogant habits from the Flower Master.
Seeing that Leo had finally, begrudgingly gotten into character, Daiyousei straightened her tiny, professional bartender suit. She wore a shiny metal nametag that said 'Fan Bao' and professionally held a wooden bowl she had been meticulously wiping with a rag since Leo walked in.
"The distinguished customer has excellent taste today! I'm quite confident in my Mixed Steamed Rice; it's our Guild's absolute specialty."
She poured a massive glass of fresh fruit juice from an oak barrel behind her and handed it politely to Leo. Then, under Leo's absolutely shocked, horrified gaze, she literally used a delicate, crystal wine goblet to scoop a massive 'glass' of hot, sticky white rice directly out of an industrial rice cooker.
Was a "glass of rice" on the menu really just literally a drinking glass completely filled with rice?! When Leo first looked at the crude menu on the wall, he logically thought that little dummy Cirno had just badly misspelled or used the wrong grammatical measure word for a bowl. It turned out they really, literally used fancy wine goblets for serving plain rice! This was beyond absurd; it was a culinary crime.
"Sorry, Big Brother Leo. This is exactly what Guildmaster Cirno strictly requested for the aesthetic. If I don't follow her exact, weird rules, she'll start violently crying and throwing a freezing fit on the floor, and she's very, very hard to soothe once she starts freezing the chairs."
Daiyousei was also incredibly helpless and embarrassed about the presentation. Cirno was thankfully only using small glasses for now; if she suddenly wanted to use the massive oak barrels for the aesthetic, would she really have to exhaustingly serve people a whole, 50-gallon barrel of white rice?!
"Fan Bao, give me one glass of rice! Light salt, extra mashed potatoes, and violently mix it well for me!"
Beside him at the bar, a few loud, muddy Little Fairies who had clearly just finished playing outside in the dirt ran up to the wooden bar and ordered their bizarre food with great, practiced familiarity.
Leo watched in absolute, stunned silence as Daiyousei skillfully, professionally scooped the hot rice directly into a silver metal cocktail shaker, added salt and a massive dollop of creamy mashed potatoes, securely closed the lid, and performed a highly flashy, complex flair-bartending routine, flipping the shaker over her head. Finally, she smoothly poured the thick, starchy mixture into a crystal goblet, elegantly garnished the rim with a fresh strawberry, and a round, bizarre serving of mashed potato mixed rice was perfectly ready.
If you added some roasted peanuts, diced roasted meat, and crunchy pickled vegetables to that, wouldn't this literally just be a classic Northeast Big Rice Wrap, just served in a stupid cup?! You guys really know how to have bizarre fun!
Wait a minute! Leo's eyes narrowed as he looked around. Did you little thieving rascals actually go into my Star Tavern down in town and physically move all my expensive cocktail equipment over here?! I thought a lot of things in this Heroes Hut looked incredibly familiar!
"Alright, Big Brother Adventurer, let's talk Guild business. What kind of official commission would you like to post on the board today?"
After the loud Little Fairies happily left with their carb-loaded goblets, Daiyousei quickly washed the silver shaker, set it aside, and pulled out a formal, printed quest form from under the counter, holding a quill pen to fill it in.
"Well, I'm formally planning to hold a massive, Valley-wide Spring Treasure Hunt soon. I desperately need to officially hire all the Little Fairies in the Guild to help me with the setup. The official reward is ten thousand gold."
Leo specifically called the ten thousand yuan 'ten thousand gold' just to perfectly fit the immersive tavern atmosphere. He meticulously planned to create a completely different, highly frustrating kind of treasure hunt, one explicitly, maliciously guaranteed to give those arrogant Great Youkai a massive brain hemorrhage from sheer frustration and puzzle-solving.
"Very well, your official commission has been formally accepted by the Guild."
After Daiyousei meticulously filled out the form with her quill, she walked over to the massive cork commission board and proudly pinned it up. The massive swarm of Little Fairies who had been happily gathered by the stage watching the musical performance immediately swarmed over like bees to excitedly see what the high-paying commission was.
"Another glass of rice! Put it on his tab!"
Yuyuko Saigyouji finished her massive crystal glass of plain white rice with a silver spoon and slammed the empty glass back onto the counter, burping softly.
Leo actually, genuinely didn't trust her alone in the house and had strictly insisted on bringing her along just to go out so Ran could cook in peace. Lady Yuyuko was so incredibly heartbroken and offended by his lack of trust that she decided to turn her immense grief into an aggressive appetite and ruthlessly, financially bleed Leo's wallet completely dry at the tavern.
An hour later...
"That's about enough, right? I can physically see there's absolutely no more hot rice left in the massive cooker. Let's go home now."
Leo had been sitting there exhaustingly for exactly four tall glasses of fruit juice, utterly terrified, watching Yuyuko single-handedly finish an entire, industrial-sized pot of plain white rice without even asking for a single side dish or grain of salt. Even the legendary internet competitive eater, the Rice Immortal, would literally be nothing but a pathetic, amateur little girl in front of her bottomless stomach.
"Don't worry, Big Brother! I still have plenty of backup stock right here!"
Daiyousei happily opened a massive, 50-gallon oak wine barrel directly behind her. Seeing it completely, horrifyingly filled to the absolute brim with steaming white rice, Leo physically felt like dying on the spot. This was insane. Who on earth permanently keeps hot rice in a wooden wine barrel?! Could they even possibly finish it all before it spoiled? Or were they actually planning to ferment it to make aged rice wine?!
"I'm absolutely not eating anymore here," Yuyuko said, wiping her mouth elegantly with a napkin. "I have to save room and go home for a proper dinner tonight. The food at home actually has savory side dishes. This guy is so incredibly, disgustingly stingy, he wouldn't even order a single, cheap side dish for Lady Yuyuko. Eating plain white rice for an hour is incredibly boring."
Yuyuko glared at Leo and haughtily turned her head away. She had already aggressively arranged for her gardener Youmu to go to the Livestock Shed for manual milking duty. They were already physically working exactly as Leo had strictly said to pay rent, yet this bad, stingy guy wouldn't even order her a side dish!
It was decided. Tonight's dinner at home would be strictly steamed rice—with absolutely no side dishes for Leo!