Even politicians have a shred of shame. Naturally, they wouldn't admit to anything Garfield had just said.
"Nonsense!"
"Rubbish!"
"You're slandering our innocence!"
"Apologize!"
"We demand a formal apology!"
"Or else we'll suspend support for High claw's games across our entire planet!"
Garfield fixed his gaze on the most gleefully monstrous of the aliens. He pulled out his personal terminal and pointed it at them.
"Robot Dog. Ban this one's entire game account. Blacklist him. Permanently."
"Yes, Master."
The operation completed in an instant.
"Reporting to Master. The account of Senator 'Little Tiger' from the Lying Tiger Galaxy has been permanently banned."
Senator Little Tiger from the Lying Tiger Galaxy looked down at the notification email on his own terminal.
*"Your Highclaw Group account [XXX] has been banned..."*
A perfectly formulaic email. A death sentence dressed in polite language.
The senator puffed out his chest. "So what if it's banned? I don't play anymore. If you're so capable, shut down our planet's services entirely."
Garfield sighed, a sorrowful, theatrical sound. "This king can only apologize, then. Robot Dog, issue an announcement."
"In light of Senator Little Tiger's personal remarks, our company will temporarily restrict services to the Lying Tiger Galaxy, effective today."
"The restriction will remain in place unless the galaxy replaces him with a new senator who issues a formal apology. Restriction period: three months."
"Account information will be saved during this period. After the deadline, it will be permanently deleted."
"Hmph."
Little Tiger held his tiger-like head high, radiating superiority.
Less than thirty seconds later, his personal terminal erupted with a cascade of beeps.
Emails flooded in. Then an interstellar communication request.
He didn't want to answer. But when he saw who was calling, he had no choice.
It was his king.
The monarch of the Groundhog Planet, a primitive, insectoid monarchy inherited from their evolutionary past.
The Groundhog Planet's councilor, a member of the royal family himself, answered the call.
The king's voice exploded through the speaker: "Little Tiger! You worthless excuse for a lazy councilor!"
"The entire Groundhog Planet is suffering because of you! Do you have any idea what you've done to High claw?!"
A torrent of abuse followed, loud enough for the entire council chamber to hear. Little Tiger didn't dare hang up.
He sat there and took it.
After what felt like an eternity, the King of the Lying Tiger Planet delivered his final verdict. "If you do not resolve this issue perfectly, prepare to return home for execution."
"The Lying Tiger Planet has no use for failures like you."
Execution on his homeworld wasn't a quick shot to the head.
It meant being thrown into a nest of tiny insects and devoured, slowly. He had seen it once. It was terrifying.
He did not want to die.
Little Tiger didn't bother reading the rest of his emails. He climbed onto his seat, turned toward Garfield, and knelt.
"Your Majesty, Great King Garfield please forgive this foolish little insect for his offense! You are like the brightest star in the universe!"
"Your light illuminates the entire galaxy no, the entire universe!"
A string of praise followed. Garfield suspected the insectoid brain had simply downloaded the flattery from his terminal.
But that didn't matter. Garfield was willing to listen.
About half an hour later, the other party finally finished.
"Please forgive me."
He had admitted his mistake. Garfield was not an unreasonable orange cat.
He nodded, reluctantly. "Alright. I'll forgive you this time, since you are, after all, a living creature."
"Robot Dog, restore normal services to the Lying Tiger Galaxy. Except for Little Tiger's account. And give them a small compensation package."
"Yes, Master."
Within minutes, the robot dog's operating system restored service to the Lying Tiger Galaxy.
Users there received their respective email notifications.
Little Tiger's personal terminal rang again.
It was still the king.
"Little Tiger. It seems you have obtained King Garfield's forgiveness. Your death sentence will be recorded provisionally."
"However, your parliamentary seat is revoked. Return to the homeworld immediately."
Little Tiger wiped the sweat from his forehead, bid Garfield a hasty farewell, and fled.
He got into his flying car, took the shuttle home as fast as possible.
As for the shadowy figures who had put him up to this? Let them do whatever they wanted.
With the first one running, some of the more cowardly members quickly changed their tune.
"The server room is a critical part of a game company. It's perfectly reasonable that inspections are inconvenient."
"The source code is obviously important. You can't just hand it out like that. That's robbery! I protest!"
Other councilors shot them disgusted looks. You were the one shouting the loudest just a moment ago.
One alien creature declared: "High claw Group's taxes have always been clear and transparent. They are a law-abiding, exemplary company."
"You are slandering them with baseless accusations."
"Exactly. We are a nation of laws. Some people are so selfish they would target a company like this."
"Oppose underhanded competition. If you don't have the ability, stay out of the industry."
The tone had shifted. But the die-hards would not budge.
They had come too far. If the resolution passed, the enormous cake that was High claw Group would be theirs.
"Threatening an entire planet by cutting off services? What a despicable act! Is High claw a space pirate company?!"
"High claw is the real culprit!"
"If you have nothing to hide, why are you afraid of an inspection? It's just source code! What could we possibly do with it?!"
"For the public good..."
Accusations and excuses flew, regardless of reason, regardless of law, regardless of basic decency.
They were determined to devour High claw.
Garfield watched their faces, picked at his ear with a claw, and sneered.
"A bunch of rotten potatoes, pretending to be respectable. Look at your faces. Look at your eating habits. You're disgusting."
"You're not here for justice, you're just greedy. You see High claw making money, and you want a piece of my flesh."
He leaned forward.
"Let me make something clear. I am the infamous 'Eater of the Universe.' A paragon of virtue when it comes to winning people over."
"Anyone who continues down this path, I will show you exactly what it means to win people over with virtue."
A relatively powerful star system spoke up. "Orange cat, you'd better hand over the source code. Or my fleet will turn you into cosmic dust."
Another—slightly stronger, but believing itself vastly so added. "Do you know who we are? The third most powerful super-star system in the universe."
"Kneel and beg, and we will reluctantly allow you a more dignified death."
Garfield stared at a weird alien who looked vaguely like his third brother.
His paw trembled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his Hammer~