Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul stared blankly at the holographic script floating before them.
Scratching heads all around.
Qui-Gon pointed at a particular passage. "Uniting the underwater kingdom as a diversion? Raiding the hangar?"
"All fine. But this part~" he tapped the air, "Where I die? It feels... abrupt. And Darth Maul is just an apprentice."
"Would that really~"
"Mmph! Mmph mmph MM~"
Darth Maul, still bound and gagged, thrashed violently.
The sock in his mouth, Obi-Wan couldn't help noticing, did not appear to be fresh.
There was a certain... aroma about it.
Obi-Wan edged away subtly.
Garfield shot the struggling Sith a flat look. Then turned back to Qui-Gon.
"In the version of events I've seen, you do die. Lightsaber through the gut. As for Darth Maul?" He gestured vaguely.
"He was supposed to be cut in half. Survived anyway. Spent years crawling through the galaxy on revenge-fueled spider legs."
"So honestly? You're both getting off easy."
Qui-Gon blinked. Spider legs?
Darth Maul stopped thrashing. Even he seemed unsettled by that mental image.
Garfield floated the script closer. "Anyone else have notes?"
Qui-Gon pointed again. "This line 'Ah, I'm dead' it's a bit... on the nose, don't you think?"
Obi-Wan raised a hand. "And mine. 'I avenged my master! Who else?!' It feels... theatrical"
"I'm not sure I can deliver that with a straight face."
Darth Maul. "Mmph mmph MM~"
Garfield ignored him. "Qui-Gon. Isn't there something you want to say before you die? Something meaningful?"
Qui-Gon considered. "I'd want Obi-Wan to look after Anakin. Guide him."
"Then say that."
Obi-Wan raised his hand again. "Can I just... not say the other line? The 'who else' part?"
"Fine. Do what you want." Garfield waved a paw.
"Mmph!"
Garfield's gaze snapped to Darth Maul.
"You have no speaking rights. You've done too many bad things. Frankly, you're lucky I'm not feeding you to something."
Darth Maul went very still.
For a moment, Garfield's expression flickered. Something else crossed his features…
The feeling of eyes on the back of his neck. Bosses in the dark, waiting.
He shook it off, focus.
He produced a contract and tossed it at Darth Maul.
"Sign it. Imprint it. Bleed on it, and then you live."
Darth Maul didn't hesitate. The moment the bonds loosened, he snatched the contract, scanned it desperately, and pressed his palm to the surface.
Then, unable to find a blade, he gored his own hand on his horns and let the blood drip onto the parchment.
Obi-Wan watched, horrified and fascinated.
He'd been kicked unconscious by this man. And now that same man was mutilating himself to please an orange cat.
The gap was... substantial.
Once the contract was sealed, Garfield turned to the Governor. "Wait near the hangar on Naboo."
"Coordinate with Qui-Gon and the others. We're doing this live."
He paused. "I might make a cameo. Don't be surprised."
"As His Majesty commands." The Governor saluted.
Garfield addressed the room. "Qui-Gon, you fight, then fall. Darth, you and a squad of droids play pursuer. Make it look real."
✦••┈┈••✦••┈┈••✦
In the hangar, the robots withdrew. The bay grew quiet.
Padmé and her group watched in confusion as the silver shuttle's ramp lowered, and Qui-Gon strode out, Obi-Wan at his side.
Then Darth Maul appeared. Droids behind him.
"GO!" Qui-Gon shouted. "RAISE THE SHIELD! TAKE OFF!"
The pilots, still dazed, scrambled to comply.
The shuttle lifted, angled toward the hangar bay's magnetic shield, and slipped through just as Darth Maul's blade carved sparks from the deck behind them.
Inside the cockpit, the two pilots stared at each other.
"We... we made it?"
Outside, on the hangar deck, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stood face-to-face with Darth Maul and his droids.