You can be happy, Alumin.
The earth. The sands. This feeling. The conection. He was one with the sands. He was everything and nothing. He couldn't see or feel anything. He existed, yet he didn't have a body. His soul latched onto the element which he so loved. It, in turn, loved him too. It protected him. Embraced him, somehow.
He lost. The red mage was the one left standing. His wounds overtook him before he could finish it off. He failed. He failed his people. He failed himself. Now all that he loved is lost, along with his body.
All that was left for him was nothingness. The sands kept him alive. Alith didn't understand why. He always felt like he could almost communicate with them. Now almost wasn't enough. He needed answers which never came. Answers that he could never get.
With all his senses gone there was nothing to drown out the blinding screams of silence. The absence of something was a feeling in it's own right. One Alith came intimately familiar with. It choked him. It was eveything he could feel and could ever hope to feel.
He lost the fight. He lost his family. His people. His hope. His love. Himself.
He became a prisoner of life, chained by the sands he used to love.. The deafening pain and confusion only grew more overwhelming each day. His heart full of love turned into one of hate. A hate that smoldered and fostered, as the events of that night replayed in his mind. He found a dozen ways he could've succeded. A dozen ways he could've saved more people. A dozen small mistakes that led to the death of his everything.
'What if I did things different. What if I didn't fail. I wouldn't be here. I don't want to be here. I feel so alone.'