Alex took a step back as the princess's hands reached toward his neck, and before he could swing his head any further away, her hand stopped just at the collar of his white shirt.
"Your collar is crooked. Let me fix it," the princess said with a slight smile on her face.
Alex had nearly lost his soul seeing her hand reach for his neck. He had thought she was going to grab him by the throat, the motion almost triggering the buried memory of the elf's hand clenching tight around his neck on the battlefield.
Alex heaved a sigh of relief and gazed at the princess's face, which had since turned sad, and he wanted nothing more than to pinch her nose and ask her what on earth she was worrying so much about. But seeing his little sister standing cheerfully beside him, already appeared at his side by now and giving him a teasing look, which made Alex uncomfortable and he stopped himself from acting on his thoughts.
And, the fact that he had just moments before hurt the princess by not replying about the nature of their relationship, and she seemed genuinely torn because of it, did not help one bit in giving him courage to ask what was going on with her.
"Done," the princess said, giving him one last look from head to toe before nodding with approval and offering him a small, practiced smile. She then turned toward Ariana, who was giggling loudly.
The princess bent down and pinched her cheeks. "What is making you laugh so hard, dear?" she asked, a little laughter escaping her own lips.
"You almost made my big brother gasp in fear. Hehehe." Ariana laughed even harder and freed herself from the princess, who seemed determined about pinching the little girl's cheeks until she got her answer.
"Oh, that! I was only playing with him. Did you enjoy the show?" the princess asked as she patted Ariana's head before straightening herself up.
Ariana tilted her head up, her cheeks flushed pink on the sides from the pinching. "Yes, I enjoyed it. Hehehe," she said cheerfully, and high-fived the princess.
The two of them had developed a genuine bond over time and looked more like an older and younger sister together, even though Alex had never truly known what the relationship between actual sisters looked like.
But their bond appeared real and warm, much like the one he shared with Ariana himself. The princess cared for and loved Ariana dearly, as though the little girl were her own younger sister.
Alex had always appreciated their relationship, though sometimes he felt they left him out entirely, and in those moments a slight jealousy would creep in, the kind that came from being a protective older brother who feared his little sister was slowly being taken away from him. Which was not true at all, and he knew it.
But he felt that way nonetheless and kept those thoughts entirely to himself, never daring to reveal them, partly out of fear of the teasing that would surely follow and partly because both the princess and Ariana had a long-standing habit of playing pranks on him the moment they spotted even the slightest opportunity.
Just moments ago, something similar had almost happened, though he knew the princess had not been pranking him. He had seen her so genuinely sad beforehand that for one brief, frightening moment he had actually wondered whether she had grown angry at his inability to answer what lay between them and had reached for him in frustration, wanting to shake the words out of him.
It was a strange thought and he doubted very much she would have done anything of the sort. More likely she would have simply pulled him into a hug and softly asked him once more what he truly felt their relationship was.
Even now, as she laughed and chatted playfully with his sister, he could still sense the slight tension that lingered in her, could see it in how her hands moved with a little less enthusiasm than usual, could feel it in how her smile, though it reached her eyes, still carried the quiet weight of someone who was not entirely alright.
It pained Alex greatly, and he wanted nothing more than to simply tell her that she was his closest friend and that he could not imagine life without her. As for marriage, he was not yet certain. He knew he was approaching adulthood, and with time he had matured considerably, and the age of marriage was not so far off now, but he still felt weak in ways he rarely admitted to anyone, and the truth was that the person others saw in him often felt like a shell, a performance he had mastered without ever intending to.
Binding himself to someone in actual marriage was frightening in ways he could not easily put into words. What if he was not strong enough to protect his wife and his family? What if he failed them the way he feared he had failed others before?
"Oops! I almost forgot about lunch. Let's hurry, big brother, big sister!" Ariana exclaimed loudly as though something urgently important had just been missed from her mind completely. She immediately grabbed Alex's hand with one of hers and the princess's hand with the other and began dragging them both out of the room with great determination.
Alex turned to look at the princess as they were pulled along. Her smile was no longer there. Her head was lowered toward the ground and loose strands of silver hair had fallen across half of her face, half-concealing an expression that looked like she was biting her tongue against some sadness she refused to let it spill out.
Unable to watch her like this anymore, he reached across with his free hand and quietly took hold of hers, squeezing gently. She turned her head toward him and he saw it plainly then, her eyes a quiet field of sadness, the corners of her lips cast downward, her whole expression worn thin in the way of someone who had been holding something heavy for too long.
Alex leaned his head close to her ear, unable to bear the sight of her like this any longer. "What is making my future wife so sad?" he teased her softly, and the reaction was instantaneous. She jerked her head back, eyes wide and slightly bulging, and then a small, genuine smile formed on her lips, this time real and unguarded, not the fake one that she showed previously.
If only Alex had known it was this simple to make her happy, he would have done it far sooner. He had never spoken to her directly about the marriage agreement, and most of the time he would quietly steer the conversation elsewhere whenever it drifted in that direction.
Over time he had noticed that she would grow downcast each time he changed the subject. He had never wanted to face the topic, partly because deep down he did not feel he deserved the princess, and partly because some stubborn, childlike part of him still refused to believe he was no longer a child, despite the fact that nobles his age were already managing small estates and competing to prove themselves worthy of future lordship in a successor race, a race he had never been required to run as his little sister was still young to demand that she wanted to be the future lord of the Drakethorne grand ducal house. Even if she were to ever demand it in the future, he would with a smile, hand over the title of future grand duke to her. He had never considered himself worthy of it.
Alex shook away his thought, he saw that the princess was turning her head forward, clearly trying to hide the redness that had slowly crept into her cheeks.
Alex turned forward as well, walking behind his little sister, who appeared to have had no idea whatsoever about what had just passed between them, which was, all things considered, a very good thing. He exhaled slowly and let his gaze drift to the window beside him along the hallway, and he found himself thinking quietly about what he truly felt for the princess. Do I like her? Do I love her?
***
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