PALE LARGE HUMANS
Sun and Moon
Sitting beside Little Nell in the cab, Richard struggled to keep his eyes open. The sleepless nights had finally caught up to him. Of course they did, he was after all a hard-working middle-class man who struggled to make ends meet. But that wasn't the reason for his insomnia. It was that he still cared for Jane and couldn't stop thinking about her. After all that had happened, he still loved her and, more strangely, pitied her. This gave him sleepless nights where he would imagine her in the white room, chained up, screaming curses into the dark.
Richard would like to imagine himself as tough as he used to be, and tried to ignore his own lethargy that had replaced his youthful energy. He just couldn't stop thinking about her: the lovely pink hair with rabbit ribbon, her long dress that used to sweep the ground as she majestically walked around; her perfect eye-liner which gave way to a gaze that stole his heart.
The eyes… He never imagined those same eyes could look at him the way they did back then:
"You really liked the ring, didn't you? You've been staring at it for 2 days now."
She hadn't replied, but just looked at him — blankly. Maybe it wasn't blank. Maybe it was just him trying to ignore the real emotion behind those eyes.
"Our girl is so adorable, isn't she? As beautiful as you are."
She wouldn't reply, but looked at him blankly.
"Headin' to work, honey. I'll be a bit late today."
She didn't reply, only threw him a glance that is still vivid to him today, the glance that made his skin crawl with guilt for a crime he didn't do–
The cab stopped. Richard blinked into the real world and gently picked Little Nell, placing her down on the ground. She kissed him on the forehead and ran into the daycare screaming a friend's name. Richard smiled.
He really should stop throwing garbage into his mental garden. Heck, it would be fine by him if it was a garden, but it is now a violent forest that has gone beyond control.
Richard tsk-ed. Why is he thinking about all these now! Afterall, he didn't take a leave to brood; the excuse was 'taking a mental health break'.
So, after instructing the cab driver to go to "the biggest house in the city", he called and confirmed with Eve that he would be there in 10 minutes. He switched off his phone and had to stand to keep it in his back pocket. And before he knew, the past had already forced its way in…
"That's why you fucking looked at me like that! How, how could you even think of me like that? I married you and raised a child." Richard's voice cracked, "I love you dear, ok? L-Look at me," He held her hand in his, "What even made you remotely think that… That I'm having an affair with Eve. She is my childhood friend, Jane. I never even saw her like that!"
Jane pulled her hand out of his. She looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "You have no idea how I feel," she said, shoving him backwards, "Now that we made The Ore, you don't need me. You used me for it…You used me- and, and I saw you two from the window, I saw both snogging the shit out of each other-"
"-That was for the movie, dammit! You KNOW IT-"
"-FUCK YOU! Fuck you, bitch." She whacked a glass off the table, breaking it into pieces. "Movie, my ass!... You manipulative shit. You pretend like you don't notice… When we go to parties, your saintly friends asking who I am." She sneered, "They don't know. They think it's her. . And I think I know the reason."
Richard was lost for words, he walked backwards, "Manipulative. Oh," he clapped, "I used you!" He clapped again. Richard turned around and went to the doorway. "When you come back to your senses, and out of your paranoia, I will return."
Richard went outside and lifted Little Nell who was playing alone with stones. Nell looked at her papa and fell silent at once.
"Don't return! I'll give your 'friend' a lesson." Jane howled. Nell looked at mommy then back to papa who suddenly had caught a cold. Richard walked straight ahead, not turning to look back once.
Richard had thought to live in an apartment for the day; he hadn't just abandoned Jane. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and that her doubting him infuriated him. He went on thinking over what just happened and reasoned,"I get angry if you doubt me — cuz I trust you. I want you to see that." He wanted to stay away for one day till she would call him back. If not, he could keep his ego aside for her and call her to apologize. Maybe swear on his daughter that he'd never do such a thing.
But when in the morning he heard the news that the largest house in the city had nearly caught a deadly fire, Richard fell on his knees. He was broken and Nell cried, unable to see her papa in that state. He hugged Little Nell tightly, and said, "I'm sorry dear… I'm sorry."
A long time passed before Richard pulled himself together, and glancing at Little Nell, he quietly filed for divorce.
The cab halted. It took Richard some time to realize that, and when he did, he opened the car door and climbed out. Richard looked at the enormous glass house in front of him, its three floors glowing with party lights.
The coloured lights formed the face of Eve and wrote "B'DAY CELEBRATED LIGHTLY" above her head. The roof had rectangular holes through which money was uniformly falling.
That had to be fake, he thought, not because Eve had so much respect for it, but because the Colonel was also inside. Heaving a sigh, Richard strode ahead to meet the guard at the door who didn't even bother asking for the invitation card.
The guard grinned at Richard.
"Hello, Robbie!" Richard exclaimed, "Had your drink?"
"No no, Rich. I'm the guard, don't forget that. I'd love to keep my job, now!"
Nodding, Richard snorted out a laugh and opened the door. And as he crossed the doorway, memory slipped in — unchanged, untouched by time.