Though he'd waved the two goddesses over with all the flirtation in the world, Tony Stark's subconscious told a different story. He wasn't fond of people who carried shields, and Diana's personality ran toward the resolute and commanding, full of natural leadership charisma. Between those factors, he kept a respectful distance from the tall warrior goddess.
His real attention was on Thea. She radiated modern energy, had a personality that ran playful and easygoing, and could strike up a conversation with anyone. As for whether Tony Stark had motives beyond flirting—say, keeping a close eye on the pair—no one could say for sure.
Thea read him like a book. She counterattacked instantly: one hand gently lifting Diana's chin, head tilting slightly as she leaned in for a kiss. Diana was just as quick on the uptake, responding in kind. Two red tongues teased and tangled inside their mouths, the kiss lasting a full thirty seconds before they finally pulled apart, still savoring it. Worth noting: as they separated, a glistening thread of saliva stretched conspicuously between their lips.
"Uh... just remembered my armor's got a glitch. Take care of our guests." Tony sighed, patted the chubby bodyguard on the shoulder, opened the car door from the other side, and walked back looking thoroughly deflated.
Free chauffeur and private car—they weren't about to refuse. With Tony the skirt-chaser dispatched, Thea pulled Vision and Scarlet Witch into the vehicle as well, partly to put the Avengers at ease.
"I don't have much experience with everyday life out here. I'm afraid I won't make a great tour guide..." Scarlet Witch said, looking a little embarrassed.
If she lacked experience, Vision—practically a robot—had even less. Outside of a few group outings, he'd never once left the building on his own. Still, considering the circumstances, Vision accepted on behalf of them both. Whether his own curiosity about the outside world played a part, nobody knew.
The rear cabin of Tony Stark's car was spacious. Four people fit comfortably, and there was even a wine rack and a small table.
Thea chatted with them about fashion, art, society, movies and TV. Scarlet Witch looked blank, unsure how to respond. Vision answered like he was reciting a textbook—rattling off something about productive forces and relations of production that left everyone baffled.
"This might be a little forward, but you two don't seem to leave headquarters much. Is it because of Mr. Vision's situation?" Thea asked.
Vision and Scarlet Witch exchanged a glance. "Actually, we both have our own complications. Avengers HQ is our home now."
Thea thought for a moment, then smiled. The smile was radiant enough to be a painting—even Scarlet Witch, a woman herself, looked a touch mesmerized. "The universe has all kinds of life forms. Appearance doesn't matter. As long as you accept yourself, that's what counts. Our universe has plenty of unique beings. If it bothers you, you could always change your appearance when you go out."
Scarlet Witch sighed. "The outside world isn't very friendly to us. That's why we rarely take transportation like this."
Now that Thea had acquired the Phoenix Force, she was also somewhat curious about Scarlet Witch's Chaos Magic.
In a straight fight, Doctor Strange could wipe the floor with the current Scarlet Witch. But Strange's magic struck Thea as unremarkable—he won purely by pushing his own abilities to their absolute limit, while Scarlet Witch was only just getting started.
Chaos Magic was a system entirely distinct from any existing school of magic.
Thea feigned curiosity. "You're a magic user too, right? Changing someone's appearance isn't that hard. Does your world have some rule against using magic casually?"
As she spoke, she pointed lightly at Vision. The robot-like synthezoid instantly transformed into a dead ringer for Captain America—stubbled jaw, world-weary brow and all.
Both of them jolted. Vision patted himself down and found nothing had changed.
"Just a minor illusion. His magic resistance is very high, and I'm not great at transformation magic, but I can change how he appears to ordinary people."
Thea spoke with easy confidence, and Scarlet Witch's interest was piqued. She began asking earnest questions.
Thea examined Scarlet Witch's Chaos Magic with little difficulty.
"This energy of yours can't really be called magical energy anymore. It's too violent. Its nature is steeped in destruction and emptiness, and it's incredibly difficult to shape." Thea drew a small wisp of energy from Scarlet Witch's hand and studied it carefully.
It didn't last long. The energy dissipated on its own, confirming that Chaos Magic didn't belong to Scarlet Witch. At most, she was merely its user.
Scarlet Witch's mutant ability was probability manipulation. Combined with Chaos Magic, the two working in tandem produced her reality-altering effects.
Thea tried several approaches, but Chaos Magic refused to cooperate. She could observe, not touch. Unlike the Phoenix Force, which could be communicated with, this power simply ignored her on a fundamental level.
She wasn't discouraged. After a brief study, she set the ability aside. Like the Anti-Life Equation, Chaos Magic pursued destruction and annihilation. It wasn't suited to her nature.
Still, she came up with an idea for Scarlet Witch. If Wanda wasn't fighting and wanted to use magic for non-combat purposes, there was a way.
"Lower it. Bring your energy level down. Strip away the violent edge, and your control improves dramatically. The only downside is higher energy consumption." Thea's knowledge far outstripped Scarlet Witch's. She explained while experimenting, and before long, Scarlet Witch's energy stabilized. The red, mist-like energy leaking from her vanished, and there was a subtle shift in her eyes—less ferocity, more softness.
The method was sound, but mastering the downgrade technique would take practice. Afterward, Thea swapped Vision's face to something generic and unremarkable, and he joined the chubby bodyguard as a bag-carrier.
As for paying, the bill would have to go on Stark Industries or the Avengers' tab. Thea's money was useless here, and she wasn't about to barter a pair of shoes—that would be absurd.
New York on this side was enormous. They'd only covered a single block by the time evening approached.
"Maybe we should head back? It's getting late..." The chubby bodyguard was drenched in sweat, having made three round trips already, and still held seven or eight bags in his hands.
He shot Thea and Diana a look. You two are really here to save the world? Not just here to shop?
Thanks to the sweet atmosphere between the two goddesses, Vision and Scarlet Witch—a couple in their own right—had enjoyed a rare, unburdened outing. No psychological baggage. Someone else was paying, someone else was carrying the bags. See something, take it. Was there anything more wonderful in all the world?
Only the chubby bodyguard had been force-fed a double helping of couple's PDA, which was the main source of his grumbling.
"It's not that late, is it? A big city's night scenery is a sight worth seeing. Don't tell me everyone in this city goes to bed at eight." Thea looked at the bodyguard with amusement.
What kind of international metropolis goes to sleep at eight? They weren't people from ancient times. The bodyguard shook his head vigorously.