Chapter 567: The Answer
"I don't know who you are."
Yuu's voice spread quietly through the still room. "But I can understand that you hate me."
"However... I can't die right now."
When she said those words, something changed in her eyes. The composure was still there, but beneath it rose something heavier -- a longing, and a reluctance to let go.
That feeling was not directed at herself. Not at this world. Not at the things she had once believed were important.
It was something she had been given a second time. Something she had given up on for this entire life, and then had come into her hands without her looking for it.
A reason to live.
"His name is Yo."
She looked down at him, and the corner of her mouth moved -- not a smile performed for anyone's benefit, but one that rose naturally from somewhere inside her.
"The character for sunlight."
"I hope he can spend his whole life in the light. In real, genuine warmth. Sunlight that nothing can block or take away."
"Someone like me has no right to stand under that sun. I know that. I owe too many people. For the rest of my life I will never be able to stand in the light, never be forgiven, never live the way ordinary people do."
"But he can."
"So I have to keep living. I want to watch him take his first unsteady steps. I want to watch him learn to speak. I want to watch him go to school. I want to watch him grow a little taller every day, growing day by day into the shape of an adult. I want to see his first smile, hear him say mama for the first time, watch him pull himself upright on his own for the first time, watch him run for the first time, watch him fall down for the first time and get back up by himself."
Her voice began to tremble again, but this time not from fear -- because the images she was describing were so achingly beautiful that just imagining them left her heart so full there was no room for anything else.
"I want to watch him. Happy, and healthy, and safe, living under the sun."
She raised her head and looked at young Sasuke again. Her eyes had changed. What was in them now was absolute resolution.
"Please."
"If a day ever comes when Yo no longer needs me. When he's grown. When he has a life of his own. When he no longer needs his mother to get up in the middle of the night to calm him, no longer needs her to wipe away his tears. When that day comes..."
She paused. Her throat moved.
"This life is yours to take. Whenever you want it."
Yuu did not say "I regret it." She did not say "I don't regret it." Because she had not allowed herself to go near that question.
Not because she didn't want to. Because she didn't dare. Because she couldn't.
She would not touch those things, not dig through them, not ask herself the questions that, once asked, could never be taken back.
It was cowardice. Avoidance. The posture of someone protecting herself because she had no other way. She knew that. But she had no other option.
She could only do this. Because if she did think about it -- if she truly laid out everything she had done, piece by piece, before her own eyes -- if she sincerely asked herself "what right do you have to be alive" -- her heart would give way. Her hands would open. She would discover she had no right to call herself a mother. And then what would happen to Yo?
She did not want to die. Not because she was afraid of dying. Because there was one person who needed her to live.
Whether as Uchiha Yuu or as Uchiha Itachi, she had always been that kind of person -- the kind who could say: I will live for you. I will give everything I have for you.
Once, as Uchiha Itachi, she had chosen to become a demon for the sake of her little sister. Now, as Uchiha Yuu, she had chosen to become a coward for the sake of Yo.
She would not face the sins. Would not think about the people who had died. Would not ask herself whether she deserved forgiveness. She kept herself small inside a tiny shell, looking only at the small child in front of her, thinking only about what he would eat tomorrow, what he would wear, what he would need.
Sasuke suddenly understood -- perhaps he was never going to get the answer he came here for.
Because Yuu couldn't give it. She didn't even dare think about it. How could she possibly produce a "yes, I regret it" or "no, I don't" in response?
She had sealed herself into a world that contained only Yo. Nothing from outside could enter. Nothing from inside could come out.
"..."
Sasuke turned. He said nothing more. Did not look at Yuu again. His hand settled on the door handle. No further demands. No revealing who he was. Nothing extra. Just leaving.
"...You're going?"
Yuu's voice came from behind him, carrying a note of uncertainty.
She hadn't expected this boy to leave so cleanly.
"Yes."
Sasuke didn't turn around. "I didn't get an answer. But I understand what I need to do."
He paused, choosing his next words with care.
"Goodbye."
Yuu gave a small nod. Her lips moved. "Then go. While Yo is still asleep."
When she said it, she was suppressing a disgust directed entirely at herself.
She was afraid this person would make a move. Afraid that in the moment he turned away he would reach for a kunai. Afraid he would come to collect the debt, one piece at a time.
But what frightened her more was something else entirely -- if that actually happened, if this person actually moved against her, she would fight back.
And knowing she would fight back was something she found more shameful than the sins themselves.
The door closed.
"Done?"
The instant young Sasuke pulled the door shut, his fingers stayed on the handle for a beat. After this, he might never see this sister or this nephew again.
He turned to face Naruto's questioning look and gave a single nod. His face held no particular expression. "Yes. Let's go."
He wasn't in a talkative mood. Naruto didn't push. He nodded, then turned, and the two of them walked side by side down the corridor.
They moved slowly, heading away from the room. They were going to walk a stretch of the base on foot until they reached a spot where a portal back to the other world could be opened.
At the bend in the hallway, a figure came around the corner toward them at something close to a jog. His pace was quick -- almost hurrying -- both hands occupied with two large bags. One held everyday supplies: tissues, a toothbrush, towels. The other was packed full of infant supplies: formula, diapers, wet wipes, stuffed tight to the brim.
His attention was on the room at the other end of the corridor, not on Naruto and Sasuke in front of him. His eyes were fixed ahead, his feet showing no sign of slowing.
Uchiha Shisui.
He was moving fast in the direction of the room young Sasuke had just come from, the bags swaying with his stride, their contents rustling softly.
In the moment they passed each other, Shisui turned his head.
His eyes landed on the boy who was about to leave -- a young man he had never met before, a stranger, and yet one who for some reason felt strangely familiar.
"You're..."
Young Sasuke stopped walking.
He looked back at the man carrying two large bags. At that face he had no memory of and yet somehow recognized.
Uchiha Shisui. The Uchiha clan's genius ninja. A man whose talent for ocular jutsu had surpassed even Itachi's. The person who had always been pulling his brother away when he was small, leaving him standing alone in the doorway with nowhere to put his frustration.
The person who had died early in another world. The person who was alive and well in this one -- who had married his sister, and had a son with her.
"Uchiha Shisui."
Sasuke was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke. "...From now on, take good care of Itachi. I'm leaving her to you."
He did not wait for Shisui's response. Did not spare him another glance. He turned and walked away toward the far end of the corridor.
Shisui watched the retreating figure. His mouth opened as if to say something. In the end, nothing came out.
He looked down at the things in his hands. The corner of his mouth moved upward slightly. Then he turned back, and continued toward that door -- the door he had been hurrying to get back to.
He pushed it open and walked inside.
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