[7:00 PM]
The entire day passed faster than any of them expected.
Between Haru's examinations, Haneul's checkup, meals together, and endless conversations, the hospital room had remained unusually lively.
For the first time in months.
It didn't feel like a hospital room.
It felt almost like a family space.
Now evening had arrived.
The soft orange glow of sunset had already faded outside the window.
Inside the room, Haneul was sitting beside Haru's bed.
The two were discussing something very seriously.
Or more accurately.
Haru was interrogating him.
Again.
About his stomach.
"Umma."
Poke.
"Baby?"
Another poke.
"Lally?"(Really)
Haneul nodded with a weak smile.
Before Haru could ask another question, the door opened.
Taekyun quietly pushed the door open.
Several medical reports rested in his hand.
Including the newest ultrasound image the doctors had given him after Haneul's examination.
Both immediately looked up.
Taekyun entered carrying a small shopping bag.
"I bought these."
He placed several snacks and more activity books on the bedside table.
"If you need anything else, tell the nurse outside."
Haru's eyes immediately sparkled.
"Abba!"
She reached for the snacks.
Taekyun gently moved them farther away.
"Tomorrow."
A tiny pout instantly appeared.
Then Taekyun looked toward Haneul.
His expression softened slightly.
"We should.... leave now."
"You need rest."
The room fell quiet.
Immediately Haru looked up.
"Abba....."
Her small voice wavered.
"Umma....."
She shook her head.
"Nott.....go."
Taekyun slowly sat beside her.
One hand gently brushed her hair back.
"I'll come back."
His voice remained calm.
Then his eyes briefly moved toward Haneul.
"And I'll bring your Umma back tomorrow morning."
Haru's lips pursed.
Still unhappy.
Taekyun continued.
"But right now..."
He lightly tapped her nose.
"Your Umma needs to go home."
Otherwise....."
His voice lowered dramatically.
"Your younger sibling..... might get angry."
Haru's eyes widened immediately.
Her attention shifted at once.
The sibling topic had successfully distracted her countless times throughout the day.
Not because she fully understood it.
But because she found it fascinating.
A baby.
Inside Umma.
Somehow.
She still had hundreds of questions.
And absolutely no intention of stopping.
Meanwhile Haneul quietly looked down.
"I....."
His fingers tightened slightly around the blanket.
"I want to stay."
Taekyun was already reaching for his coat.
"Doctor advised you to rest."
His voice remained gentle.
"We'll be here soon for..."
He stopped.
"Before that....."
He finally glanced at him.
"You should have some strength."
Haneul didn't argue.
Not because he agreed.
But because the hospital had become increasingly difficult for him.
The smell.
The machines.
The hallways.
Every corner seemed to drag him back toward memories he desperately wanted to escape.
Being here made it harder to breathe.
Harder to think.
Harder to sleep.
Slowly he stood.
Haru immediately reached for him.
But Taekyun spoke first.
"I'll come back and stay here tonight."
His hand gently rested on Haru's head.
"But Umma will sleep at home."
The little girl hesitated.
Then slowly nodded.
Reluctantly.
Haneul leaned down.
Carefully wrapping his arms around her.
Immediately Haru hugged him back.
As tightly as she could.
Haneul closed his eyes.
Then softly kissed her forehead.
"I'll come.... tomorrow."
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Sleep well."
Haru nodded.
Then planted a tiny kiss on his cheek.
A pout immediately followed.
Her eyebrows scrunched together.
"Umma....."
"I....."
She struggled for a moment.
Trying to organize her words.
Then proudly announced,
"Miss."
"Love....."
"Umma."
Her small arms tightened around his neck.
"I'll"
"Watt."
(Wait.)
Haneul's eyes burned instantly.
He nodded.
Unable to trust his voice.
Slowly.
Haru released his hand.
Taekyun stepped forward.
Pulling the blanket higher around her shoulders.
"Lie down."
He adjusted her pillow.
"And ask the nurse if you need help."
Haru immediately nodded.
"Ottay."
"Abba."
A small smile appeared on Taekyun's face.
Then he and Haneul finally left the room.
(Outside)
The nurse was already waiting.
"Good night, Sir."
Taekyun nodded.
"Look after her."
"If she asks for something....."
His eyes softened.
"Let her have it."
The nurse smiled.
"Don't worry."
"We'll take good care of her."
"Have a safe drive home."
A few minutes later.
The car pulled out of the hospital parking lot.
The city lights reflected across the windshield.
Neither spoke.
For several minutes only silence remained.
Then Taekyun reached into the report folder.
And removed a small photograph.
An ultrasound image.
He quietly handed it over.
Haneul accepted it automatically.
His fingers carefully held the picture.
Just as he always did.
Every appointment.
Every examination.
Every scan.
Taekyun always gave him the newest image.
And every time.
Haneul would silently look at it.
Then place it inside the folder waiting at home.
Without a single comment.
Without a visible reaction.
But he never threw them away.
Never missed one.
Tonight was no different.
His eyes lowered toward the image.
Taekyun watched him quietly.
Then spoke.
"It's the last picture....."
His eyes lowered toward the ultrasound image resting in Haneul's hands.
"The last picture of our baby in your belly."
Haneul looked down slowly.
His gaze remained fixed on the scan.
The small shape on the paper.
So tiny.
Yet somehow real.
Taekyun slowly reached across the center console.
Taking both of Haneul's hands into his own.
Warm,steady and protective.
"The doctor said...."
His thumb gently rubbed against Haneul's knuckles.
"Maybe in a few days it'll be time."
A pause.
"Three or four more days."
Haneul's lips trembled.
Almost imperceptibly.
Taekyun continued quietly.
"But I'll be here with you."
The words came slowly and carefully.
As though he wanted Haneul to hear every single one.
"Every second."
"I'll stay next to you."
"You don't need to be scared."
His fingers tightened slightly around Haneul's hands.
"We'll go through it together."
For several moments neither spoke.
The city lights continued passing outside the window.
Silent.
Distant.
Then Taekyun lowered his gaze.
As if gathering courage.
"Do you want some fresh air?"
Haneul slowly turned toward him.
Taekyun's eyes remained on the road.
But his voice had become unusually quiet.
"I....."
A pause.
"I want to talk about something."
For a second Haneul simply stared at him.
Then slowly nodded.
The car changed direction.
Heading toward the riverside.
Toward the Huangpu River.
The river that divided Shanghai into two halves.
Yet somehow connected them at the same time.
People often called it a river of reunions.
A place where countless couples walked beneath the lights.
Made promises.
Confessed feelings.
Or said goodbye.
Tonight.
The river flowed quietly beneath the city lights.
Waiting.
As though it already knew something important was about to be spoken beside its waters.
After a while, Taekyun pulled the car into a nearly empty parking area.
The riverside was unusually quiet.
Only a few distant lights reflected across the dark water.
Very few people remained around at this hour.
Then Taekyun quietly removed his seatbelt.
The soft click echoed inside the car.
He turned toward Haneul.
Haneul was looking outside the window.
Lost somewhere inside his own thoughts.
Taekyun slowly reached over.
His fingers moved through Haneul's hair.
Brushing aside several loose strands.
A gesture so familiar.
So gentle.
"We're here."
His voice was soft.
"Let's go outside."
Haneul looked at him for a moment.
Then slowly nodded.
He pushed open the door.
The cold evening breeze greeted him immediately.
A few seconds later Taekyun stepped out as well.
Walking around to Haneul's side.
When he reached him.
He extended his hand.
Not casually.
Not simply to help him walk.
But properly.
As though inviting him somewhere.
As though asking for something.
His fingers remained open.
Waiting.
A quiet smile rested on his lips.
Gentle and warm.
Different from the smiles Haneul had seen during the past months.
Haneul slowly lifted his eyes.
Looking up at him.
Taekyun held his gaze.
Then quietly said,
"Can you....."
His voice almost disappeared into the wind.
"For the sake of the time we had together....."
A pause.
"Just for a few minutes."
His eyes softened.
"Forget everything."
The smile on his face never disappeared.
A reassuring smile.
A hopeful one.
The kind Haneul had not seen in a very long time.
"Would you come sit with me?"
"Just for a little while."
Haneul's chest tightened.
Something about the way Taekyun was looking at him felt strange.
Not frightening.
Not angry.
Just..... different.
Slowly he placed his hand into Taekyun's.
Immediately Taekyun's fingers wrapped around it.
Long fingers securing around his own.
Holding him carefully.
A smile appeared on Taekyun's face.
Then he said something that sounded so unlike him.
Something so gentle that it made Haneul look up immediately.
"Be careful....."
Taekyun's thumb brushed lightly against his hand.
"The mother of my children."
For a moment Haneul completely froze.
His steps nearly halted.
His mind became blank.
Something was wrong.
Or maybe not wrong.
But different.
Very different.
He looked at Taekyun again.
Trying to understand.
Trying to figure out what had changed.
What had happened to him.
But Taekyun simply continued walking beside him.
Still holding his hand.
Still smiling faintly.
"Today feels really different to me."
His voice carried quietly through the cold breeze.
"When I received that call this morning."
A long breath escaped him.
The wind moved through his hair.
Across the river.
Through the silence surrounding them.
"It felt as though."
His eyes lowered toward the water.
"As though Haru was born again."
For a few moments he simply watched the river.
Then continued.
"I don't even remember leaving the house."
"I don't remember the drive."
"I don't remember entering the hospital."
A small laugh escaped him.
Not from amusement.
But disbelief.
"Everything was a blur."
His grip around Haneul's hand tightened slightly.
"And then I saw her."
His voice softened.
"Awake."
"Looking at me."
"Calling me Abba."
A long silence followed.
The sound of water quietly moving beneath them.
Nothing else.
"It was different."
His eyes became distant.
"Really different."
Then he looked at Haneul.
For the first time since arriving.
Directly at him.
"Hearing you talk to her.
A small smile appeared again.
"It felt like I had been given another life."
His gaze lingered.
Too long.
Too gently.
"Everything suddenly felt calm."
The two of them finally reached the riverside railing.
A wooden bench sat nearby.
Facing the water.
Facing the city lights reflected across the river.
Taekyun glanced toward it.
Then back at Haneul.
"Wanna sit?"
Haneul slowly nodded.
They moved toward the bench.
Haneul sat first.
Immediately the cold air touched him.
Before he could react.
Taekyun was already removing his own jacket.
Without a word.
He draped it around Haneul's shoulders.
Pulling it closed.
Making sure no cold air slipped through.
Only after that did he sit beside him.
The river continued flowing quietly before them.
"Haneul."
His voice sounded tired.
Soft.
Almost vulnerable.
Something rarely heard from him.
"Can you talk to me for a little while?"
Haneul turned slightly.
Taekyun was staring ahead.
Not at him.
Not at the river.
Somewhere in between.
"Can you answer me....."
A faint smile appeared.
"like you used to?"
The smile trembled.
Just slightly.
"Like nothing is wrong."
A pause.
"I'm trying."
His voice became quieter.
"So hard."
Another pause.
"I'm trying my best to talk like nothing happened."
Finally he looked at Haneul.
His eyes were calm.
Yet carrying something unbearably heavy beneath them.
Something he had been holding for months.
Something he was forcing himself to keep under control.
"Can you pretend with me?"
The words barely escaped him.
"Just for a little while."
Haneul couldn't answer immediately.
He simply stared.
Because the man sitting beside him felt unfamiliar.
Not because Taekyun had changed.
But because for the first time.
He wasn't hiding how tired he was.
How hurt he was.
Or how desperately he was trying to hold everything together.
And somehow.
That frightened Haneul more than anger ever could.
Haneul lowered his eyes.
Then very quietly.
"I will."
The answer was barely above a whisper.
Yet Taekyun heard it clearly.
A small smile appeared on his lips.
Slowly, he wrapped his hand more firmly around Haneul's.
The cold breeze continued moving across the river.
Neither of them pulled away.
After a long silence.
Taekyun spoke again.
"Let me tell you something."
His eyes remained fixed on the dark water ahead.
"A secret..... maybe."
Haneul slowly turned toward him.
"A secret?"
"Hmm."
Taekyun nodded.
For several moments he seemed to be searching for the right words.
Then finally.
"Do you remember the day you hid inside my car?"
A faint smile touched his face.
"Like some little creature."
"Almost like a cat."
Haneul blinked.
Of course he remembered.
How could he not?
Taekyun let out a quiet breath.
"That day was really hard for me."
His fingers tightened slightly around Haneul's hand.
"I won't tell you everything."
His gaze lowered.
"But I want you to know something."
"I had reached my limit."
The smile disappeared.
"I was tired."
"So tired."
His voice remained calm.
The kind of calm that came after someone had spent too long carrying something alone.
"There was so much anger inside me."
"So much frustration."
"I wanted to break everything."
His eyes remained on the river.
"Almost burn everything down with the fire inside me."
The wind passed quietly between them.
Then another small smile appeared.
"But then....."
His thumb brushed across Haneul's knuckles.
"I smelled your pheromones."
The memory softened his expression immediately.
"And for some reason....."
"I felt comfortable."
The word sounded strange coming from him.
As though he still didn't fully understand it himself.
"It reminded me of someone."
His voice lowered.
"Someone I couldn't stop thinking about that day maybe."
Haneul's breath caught.
Taekyun continued.
"When the car stopped i found you hiding there....."
A small laugh escaped him.
"You looked ridiculous."
The smile returned.
"Nervous."
"Trying very hard not to be discovered."
For a moment the year seemed to disappear from his face.
As though he was seeing that memory again.
"Your eyes."
His voice softened.
"They were too pure."
Haneul froze.
Taekyun slowly turned toward him.
"They looked like they belonged to someone who had never learned how to protect himself."
A pause.
"And somehow....."
His eyes became gentler.
"I couldn't stop looking at them."
Haneul's tears had already begun falling.
Silently.
One after another.
Taekyun noticed immediately.
Slowly his free hand reached up.
Carefully brushing the tears away.
His fingertips lingered against Haneul's cheek.
"People always say....."
A faint smile appeared.
"'Cry until everything comes out.'"
His thumb wiped away another tear.
"But I don't think I'll ever tell you that."
His voice became quieter.
Because.....
His words nearly caught in his throat.
He looked away for a second.
Trying to steady himself.
Then smiled again.
Though this time it looked fragile.
"I really can't bear seeing tears in these eyes."
The confession sounded almost helpless.
As though it had escaped before he could stop it.
"I..."
For the first time his voice cracked.
Only slightly.
But Haneul heard it.
Taekyun lowered his gaze.
Then laughed softly at himself.
"I decided something a long time ago."
His fingers tightened around Haneul's hands.
"Back when I first fell for you."
Haneul's eyes widened.
The river seemed to disappear.
The city.
The lights.
Everything.
Only Taekyun's voice remained.
"I gave up."
A small smile appeared.
"On all the walls around my heart."
"Because of these beautiful eyes. "
The words came slowly.
Like pieces of a truth he had hidden for too long.
"Do you remember the night you climbed onto my laptop?"
Haneul immediately nodded.
Taekyun laughed quietly.
"You were crying."
"The fire inside you was too clear."
"Only..."
"Because I scolded Haru."
His smile became helpless.
"And then I threw you out of my house."
The memory should have been unpleasant.
Yet somehow it wasn't.
Because of the way he was looking at Haneul now.
"The thing is..."
His eyes lowered.
"The pain I felt that day wasn't because you argued with me."
A pause.
"It wasn't because you disobeyed me."
Another pause.
"It was because you were crying."
His voice almost disappeared.
"And I couldn't stand it."
Haneul covered his mouth.
Another sob escaped him.
The tears became impossible to stop.
Taekyun immediately leaned closer.
Without hesitation.
He kissed one wet eyelid.
Then the other.
Carefully, patiently.
As though those tears were something precious.
"Haneul."
His forehead rested briefly against Haneul's.
"Can you not cry?"
The words carried no command.
Only affection, pleading.
"I told you."
A shaky smile appeared.
"You shouldn't cry."
His fingers intertwined with Haneul's.
Holding them tightly.
"Because today."
His voice broke again.
And this time he didn't hide it.
"I'm too happy."
The confession came out uneven.
Honest and raw.
"Haru woke up."
A weak laugh escaped him.
"Our baby will be here soon."
His eyes glistened beneath the city lights.
"And for the first time in months...."
He looked directly into Haneul's eyes.
"I want to be myself."
No mask, distance, pretending.
Just him.
"I want to take my heart out."
His hand pressed gently against his chest.
"And show it to you."
His voice dropped to a whisper.
"So you can finally see....."
His fingers tightened around Haneul's hands.
"How I really feel."
Haneul's shoulders shook violently.
"It's.... all because of me."
His voice came out broken.
Barely audible.
"I shouldn't have come."
Another sob escaped him.
"If I never came."
"You wouldn't be like this....."
His fingers clenched against Taekyun's coat.
"Haru wouldn't have suffered."
His breathing became uneven.
"I destroyed everything....."
Tears blurred his vision.
"Your life..."
"Haru's life."
"And now."
His hand slowly moved toward his stomach.
"Even this child."
A sob tore from his throat.
"I'm really a bad person."
The moment those words left his mouth.
Taekyun pulled him into his arms.
Immediately, firmly.
As though refusing to let those words exist.
"You are not."
His voice was low.
But absolute.
"You are not."
Haneul trembled harder.
Taekyun's arms tightened around him.
"Of course you are not."
For several seconds neither spoke.
Only the sound of Haneul crying remained between them.
The river continued flowing quietly beyond the railing.
The city lights reflected across the dark water.
But Taekyun saw none of it.
His entire world was sitting in his arms.
Crying again.
Because of pain he couldn't take away.
Slowly.
Taekyun lifted one hand.
Brushing damp strands of hair away from Haneul's face.
"You know....."
His voice softened.
"If someone asked me what the most beautiful part of my life was."
A faint smile appeared.
"It would be after you arrived."
Haneul froze.
His tear-filled eyes lifted toward him.
Taekyun looked away briefly.
Almost embarrassed by his own honesty.
"You turned everything upside down."
A small laugh escaped him.
A tired laugh.
"Every routine."
"Every habit."
"Every plan."
"Everything."
His thumb gently rubbed the back of Haneul's hand.
"Before you....."
"My life was simple."
"Waking up to nothing."
"Working for no reason."
"Taking care of Haru."
"Sleeping in darkness."
Then doing it all again.
The same thing.
Every day.
Every year.
His eyes lowered.
"I thought that was enough."
A long silence followed.
Then he looked at Haneul.
And smiled.
"But then you came."
The smile deepened slightly.
"And suddenly....."
"I wanted to go home early."
"I wanted someone waiting for me."
"I wanted to hear your voice."
His eyes softened.
"I wanted to know if you ate."
"If you slept."
"If you were warm."
"If you were smiling."
Haneul's tears fell harder.
Taekyun continued quietly.
"Since childhood..."
"I never had a bond like this."
"Not with anyone."
His hand slowly intertwined with Haneul's.
"Do you understand how terrifying that was for me?"
A faint laugh escaped him.
"I was losing control."
"Every day."
"Without even realizing it."
His eyes lowered.
"The more I loved you...."
"The more afraid I became."
The river breeze moved through his hair.
"But even then....."
"I never regretted it."
Not once."
The words were immediate.
Certain.
"If I could go back."
"And relive everything."
"The misunderstandings."
"The arguments."
"The sleepless nights."
"The fear."
"The pain."
His eyes met Haneul's.
"I would still choose you."
Haneul broke down completely.
A sob escaped him.
Taekyun immediately wiped away another tear.
"But maybe....."
A sad smile appeared.
"I'll never be able to say that to you again."
His fingers trembled.
His own eyes had become red.
Yet he continued smiling.
As though he had already made peace with something.
"You told me several times...."
"That i don't have to love or like you back.:"
A soft laugh escaped him.
"I think I lost from the beginning."
Haneul stared at him.
Unable to speak.
"The way you look at people."
"I feel really jealous. "
"I wanna keep you to myself. "
A quiet breath escaped him.
"There was a time....when...."
"It felt like someone like me shouldn't even touch someone like you."
His voice became softer.
"But somehow....."
"You became the place I returned to."
The place where I rested."
"When everything became too much."
"You carried it."
Haneul shook his head.
"No....."
But Taekyun interrupted him.
"You did."
His voice was firm.
"When I buried my face in your neck...."
"The world disappeared."
"The anger disappeared."
"Everything disappeared."
A faint smile touched his lips.
"There was only you."
The words hung between them.
Simple.
Painfully honest.
Then slowly....
The smile faded.
And the grief underneath finally appeared.
"I talked to Lisa."
His voice became quieter.
"I read your diary."
"Every morning."
"I knew."
"I knew what was coming."
His eyes lowered.
"I knew one day..."
"You would have to choose."
The river breeze felt colder now.
"You can't understand what it feels like."
A bitter laugh escaped him.
"It's like burning."
"Every day."
"And still pretending you're fine."
His jaw tightened.
"But I'm letting you go."
Haneul immediately shook his head.
With red eyes.
Taekyun gently held his face.
"I'm letting you go because I love you."
The words finally broke.
For the first time.
His voice shattered.
And Haneul froze.
Because this was Taekyun.
The man who never broke.
The man who always endured.
The man who carried everything alone.
Yet tonight.
His eyes were full of tears.
"I can't watch you suffer anymore."
A tear slipped down his cheek.
"I can't watch those nightmares destroy you."
"Every night I wake up afraid."
"Afraid I'll lose you."
His breathing became uneven.
"Not to another world."
His fingers tightened.
"To death."
The confession left him trembling.
And suddenly Haneul understood.
Taekyun had never been afraid of losing him to another world.
He had been afraid of losing him completely.
Slowly.
Taekyun leaned forward.
Pressing his forehead against Haneul's.
"If the chance comes....."
"Go."
A tear fell.
"I'll wait."
Another tear followed.
"I'll wait until my last day."
His hand slowly moved to Haneul's stomach.
Resting there gently.
"If you can take this baby with you....."
A faint smile appeared.
"Take them."
"It'll feel like a piece of me stayed beside you."
His eyes softened.
"But if you can't....."
His hand remained there.
Warm,protective on his belly.
"Then leave them with me."
His voice became steadier.
Stronger.
"I'll raise them."
"I'll protect them."
"I'll love them."
A small laugh escaped him.
"Better than I did with Haru."
The image of Haru immediately appeared in both their minds.
Her tiny pouts.
Her endless questions.
Her habit of hiding behind Haneul whenever Taekyun scolded her.
A smile appeared through Haneul's tears.
Taekyun smiled too.
Then quietly whispered,
"I'll show them both."
His eyes filled again.
"That their mother left behind someone completely different."
A long silence followed.
Then his thumb gently brushed against Haneul's stomach.
And for the first time all night...
Taekyun looked peaceful.
"I'll become the best father I can be."
"For them."
His eyes met Haneul's.
"And for the person who taught me how to love."