The boy was a weird one.
He took pleasure from the thrill of the edge, edge of the knife, edge of the spear, edge is what someone would call the promised neverland.
He was in love with the risk, the single moment where the fear for his own life made his entire body shook in excitement.
He found a weird way to live later in his life, information. People paid a lot for it, it gave birth to danger and killed a lot by it's existence. It exists to curse them all, all of humanity. Knowledge is the sacred apple they bit into.
He was a skinny boy, his arms had holes from the syringes. He loved the fast feeling of relief that came, how could he be blamed. He loved the edge and edge is where all bleed into nothingness.
He wore a shirt and trousers, leather shoes and nothing to come with it. He had better use for his money than a clock that would tell him the time of the day which his body already told him clearly. Uncertainty, the unknown is an edge that cuts deep yet it always stops right at the single point in moment we call fastigium.
He died one night like the rat that he has always been. Syringe in hand and cloud in those eyes. He reached the edge, the fastigium of life in that single instance.
"Do you really want to die like this?"
"Shut up woman I am happy as I am."
"What if I gave you a new edge? A way to feel the fear of death constantly."
"Do whatever you want I won't beg you to do something."
"What a weirdo young boy you are...you annoy me."
Repeat after me
"Order."
That day his search for information came, he gained the power to sacrifice and, box of salvation that will suck him dry and give him what he wanted.
He became a rat, someone that did the dirty jobs of those geniuses called detectives. They were investigators if we go by professional terms.
He worked under a rather plump gentleman of the passing times. He was a smart man he really was yet he simply couldn't do certain tasks. He actually felt disgusted with the boys existence yet he didn't cut his generosity short after all he was his one and only rat, only one brave enough for certain jobs.
"What is that look on your face bossss? Do you need me again? Please at least tell me it is not a boring one again. I don't want tk interrogate someone again."
"You can gallop around young man I got a job just for you. Rich man cheating on his poor little maiden and pressing his head into another woman's bosom."
"People always want more than what they have don't they?"
"Don't want to hear that from you. Get their picture and bring the roll, I have to get it developed tonight."
"Fine fine when will you cut these formalities down? We are friends in this hell we call earth."
The man ignored his words and just handed him a sketch he made with his ball point pen he got as a gift yesterday.
Second floor of a high end hotel known for it's shows and so called singers. They are no more than glorified sluts at least in the boys eyes. He saw no beauty in those woman who were the only type he saw in his life. They were touched, lifeless corpses living on the lust of others while selling their dignity and their urge. Most died at their twenties, just a few months after their name was even heard.
He never cared about bodies. In his eyes everyone was same, man is a man but every man is also the same man, every woman is the same woman. They are just same, a human is a human and just worthless in his eyes.
"I can only see a pipe going up there."
He climbed the through the wall before looking around. It was late at night and other than a man smoking on the right side of the garden the place was rather lonely.
"He ain't gonna climb behind me that's for sure."
He made a run for it before jumping on the pile and making his way with the gentleman downstairs shouting at him calling him a rat, fitting of his career.
Before his eyes it was, the lust that evolved later on. It wasn't primal or instinctual but rather a creation of society. Half naked man towered over the little naked figure, under that mustache came his tongue that slided on the warm plate ready to devour.
"Smile..."
He held onto the railing before taking their picture.
A flash
"F*ck!"
The man inside didn't even hesitate to jump to the other side of the bed before pulling out his gun. His movement was too fast for the boy's eyes to even track. He couldn't have been just someone of high society but also someone that is beyond the levels of humans.
He could feel something at his spine, an electric feeling that made his whole body shook in pleasure, the edge was digging into his spine. With the survival instinct that came with years on the streets he threw himself down.
He couldn't move, his spine was crushed beyond anything even magic could save him from. He couldn't feel most of his body yet a two warm feelings were present.
Warm blood pooled around him, he was shot before he could even jump down. Yet he was happy. He reached it at last, right in this very moment he reached it. Fastigium, pinnacle, the edge of pleasure. He reached the single singular moment in his life where pleasure made him lose his senses.
He was happy, as happy as he has never been. The pleasure that came from being released from the mortal shackles by the edge was enough. He felt no pain from the sheer pleasure that overwhelmed his senses.
A sticky feeling, pleasure leaked out of his body as a sticky white liquid.
"You....should have went for the head."
He took something out of his pocket, a handgun he never used before. He pressed the cold metal to his head before smiling at the
"Heeghh....heghh..."
Antares touched his neck before looking around in a panic. It was his bed, he was wearing the dirty shirt and trousers. He had to get changed and bathe or he couldn't go anywhere.
He was hyperventilating, his pupils were dilated and his hands were shaking. After a few seconds he lowered his hands and got up.
Where is father? Why is he not in the bed? Did he wake up early? For what? Did he take me here? No he wouldn't have bothered making me wear my clothes...it must have been a dream! Yes nothing more nothing less.
He got up and went out with his eyes escaping from all the mirrors before seeing a figure before him.
Broken, shattered, he is filled with emotions of all kinds. He is shaking profusely while sitting on one of the benches with his head low. He never saw him like this before, he had to gather up his courage for a few seconds before speaking.
"Father? Did something happen?"
He looked up in shock, his eyes avoided him as he spoke.
"Nothing...she woke up today."
She? That corpse? I could have never expected that woman would wake up, she has been there ever since I have known myself.
Ever since he was a kid there was a woman inside the church. He never questioned who she was but it was obvious father knew her. Father and the nuns took care of the woman who was no different than a corpse. He tried to help them a few times but father would always take him out of the room in a hurry. She must have been a relative of his or something similar.
"...Father are you fine? You look weird."
"I am fine! You should go sleep it is still early."
"I should clean up. See you later father."
He left without saying much. He himself wasn't in a shape to speak for long let alone interrogate him. He quickly checked a few things. Sac was still there, nuns were already awake meaning it was there before they woke up.
It really was a dream...I should get ready and pull myself together. I will go to a bathhouse and was there. For clothes...I didn't check maybe they washed it.
After knocking on a few doors and looking inside he found sister Anne. She was looking outside through the window as if lost in thoughts.
"Anne did you do the laundry yesterday?"
Her voice was low, quiet, calm as if she reached inner piece in this cloudy morning.
"They are still wet...can't you borrow some of father's?"
"Wet or not I need something to wear. Don't worry I won't get sick from something like that...I am done with sicknesses after what happened."
He left quickly before going outside to the side of the building and finding them hanging there. He changed into the relatively wet shirt and trousers before making his way out. In this hour there would only be naked men of the day before in the bathhouses yet he had no better choice. He made his way to the docks before finding a bathhouse that was more of a brothel than anything else. After paying a copper her washed himself in a hurry and by taking advantage of the early morning he had he walked to the office.
"I am back...anyone?"
There was no one sitting at the front desk like the day before. After a few seconds of standing in the middle of the room he walked inside to find someone. The room from yesterday was empty leaving him no choice to go for the catacombs. He could have of course knocked on the other doors yet he was sure no one was there after he accidentally fell down and the whole thing sounded like a gunshot.
As he climed down the stairs things became obvious.
I can't even lift my arms above my chest level because of that monkey of a man. If he starts talking about sparring again I will run for my life all the way.
When he checked himself in the bathhouse it became obvious how bad things were. Markings of yellow, purple and black covered his torso making it difficult for him to even change into his clothes let alone do anything else. Leaning down was even worse and he had to sit down and lift his feet just to wear his shoes.
"Anyone down here!"
"Here!"
Someone tapped on his shoulder causing him to jump up in shock, landing on his bottom and seeing the flamboyant figure above him.
"Where did you come from! I just climbed down how did you get on my back?"
"Come on no need to be rude friend I had my back on the wall. I don't know why but you didn't see me."
"Did I...sorry I am a bit disoriented today."
"I can see it look at you, you look like a wet rat what is that hair? Did wet hair become a fashion trend when I wasn't looking?"
"Just help me get up already or I am going to be stuck here for life."
"Fine finee grumpy old man let me lift you up."
After getting up he slapped his trousers a few times trying to get the dust off before looking at the figure.
"Aren't you supposed to be at the entrance?"
"No not today the old man was up there wasn't he? I was free but there is nothing to do in this city. No plays, no gathering for people like me."
"He wasn't there when I came in."
"Really? He is an old guy he must have been in the toilet with his soul halfway out trying to survive 5 more minutes."
"Haaa...ha.."
After a small laugh he looked up again with a worried look on his face.
"I have to talk to captain! I didn't have time to get new clothes and look at me...I am losing this job for sure."
"Don't worry he can't fire anyone. We don't have the power to erase memories. Do you think he would kill someone for this?"
"He looks like the kind..."
"Don't worry he wouldn't kill anyone he has a heart of gold...even you."
Last words came out with a different tone, a small smile on his lips.
"Don't worry it is a long gone thing too who cares about that."
"We can talk about it later."
"Yeah yeah let me handle the talking. Hope he doesn't send you out for a run, I need something to do as well."
Catacombs didn't smell bad compared to what someone would expect. There was always a smell of rain yet other than that there were just passageways with stone walls and oil lamps on the walls. After a few knocks they entered the office.
"Hey boss I found this wet rat outside. Look at him he is all shit faced from drinking all night. I might get drunk from his breath alone."
His face looked as stern as usual, his eyes dug into anyone's soul that had the audacity to look inside them, especially him. Maybe it was guilt that dug into him or just his eyes yet the embarrassment and his red face were seen from afar.
This is what I get for trusting a parrot! Look at this! Could have said I got beat up by some kids and even that would have felt better. How am I going to look at his face after all this? How am I going to explain this to others when it circles around? This won't be forgotten in the next ten years for sure, ten years of becoming the silly tale of drunken tables.
Heinrich looked at his table for a few seconds before speaking in a tired tone as if he expected this.
"We were already going to celebrate this...it will be two days later if it gets accepted by the others."
"He means the captains of your other comrades not us. Why would they even say no? One night where they will have to keep watch thats all."
"I...I understand..."
"Take him out for collection and then get him dressed once you are done. Antares, tomorrow you will start training with Lucio. After you are done with him Emil will teach you what we do."
"Captain do you want me to teach him how to shoot? I doubt Lucio can teach him something he can't even do properly."
"He will just be investigating for a while. After that you can have him, Emil can't shoot after all."
"Why can't Emil shoot?"
"His hands shake a lot that's all. Don't worry about it and be happy you just got your first mission. See you later captain!"
"See you later captain..."
"See it wasn't that bad, he is an understanding man he himself drinks frequently, always carries a hip flask filled with something strong."
"Well...it could have been worse...so what is this collection?"
Each church has to share their case reports with one another in case the other needs it. We will first get the one from the telephone people then the solemn weirdos. Those soldiers are last but they rarely do anything, it is just a case of who gets the better parts of the city. We got the shit hole of it."
"So we get the most cases?"
"Well...not really but we get the worst of them all. Don't worry we don't handle them most of the times, the others are there for a reason so you will live for long. That old guy is like seventy years old. When was the last time you saw someone as old as that?"
"It has been...a few years. My grandpa died some time ago."
"Grandpa? I thought you lived in a church."
"It is a long story. We don't have that much..."
"We have a long way ahead. Is he the reason you feel so bad? Nothing will come from keeping things inside or the fart will come at the worst time."
"Fart?"
"Sorry but well it is the same thing. Both come out at the worst time."
"My grandpa always wanted me to follow my dreams I think. In the end I couldn't follow them and he died knowing that I couldn't."
"That's it? This is the long story? Why the sad face? So what? Everyone dies what matters is what you do. It is never late for things. Go and follow your dreams, leave this hole behind."
"No too late for that. I think he would be happier if I just lived a fine life. I kind of fu*ked things up in my previous jobs so I should do my best here."
"Don't worry they pay even us good. Oh man wish I was a paladin so they paid me more."
"Paladin? Is that like the higher rank?"
"No just a term. It is not my thing to explain but you would have realized it long ago if you were one."
The houses were made of bricks and stones, it didn't take a genius to figure out these were houses where upper middle class lived. They had multiple servants in their houses and some even had a carriage of their own. Compared to the slums and the low income neighborhoods the difference between the two was obvious. From the things they talked about to what they wore the difference was like a cliff.
"Crown road chokes one out. Can't you feel the weight over your shoulders? That is called society and their gaze."
"You are not used to these places? You look like the type that would roam around here."
"Of course not I am not that posh. I rarely come here but they have a good Cafe around here. What about you?"
"I used to visit the hospital a lot. There are a few people I know from there."
"Hospital? You don't look sick at all. Did you walk all that way just to meet a few friends? Well hope you see me as a friend tok would be nice having one that would go all that way."
Before his own eyes he could see a figure slowly walking to the edge of a water fountain and placed a stack of letters before leaving. He seemed to be a young man maybe in his late twenties but his clithes were nothing more than ordinary especially compared to his arm.
"Mechanical arm?"
"Those metal freaks all have mechanical limbs. At first I thought they were getting wounded a lot but now I know that they just love mutilating their bodies."
"Is it something about their religion? I have never heard of such practice...or limbs like those."
"Not something about religion...maybe just something their close man are supposed to know. I doubt those limbs can really rival the real deal."
Ae made his way through the crowd before claiming the letters and coming back.
"Only three. Didn't expect there to be this much. They normally have the least amount of cases. I wonder if something big happened...we didn't hear anything too."
"Do you want to open one?"
"Of course not! They are sealed with their was seal if I do it captain would take away all my rest days and make me work the night shift at their lock too."
"Their lock?"
"The gate to the artifacts. We call it the great lock. Every night one of us goes there and takes a shift outside the lock. Lucio is there for four days a week and Ester is there for the rest after all she doesn't have to sleep."
"She doesn't?"
"Why not ask her when you see her? If I talk about everything there will be nothing to talk about with others. You will need all you can after all that weirdo Emil isn't the talkative kind."
"He seems weird...well you never know how a tangerine is without peeling it."
"...that sounds weird don't you think?"
"Yeah..."
"Where do you want to go now?
"Can you sit at that Cafe you were talking about? I want to go and visit the hospital. I haven't seen them in a while. Don't worry I will come back after a few minutes."
"Don't blame me if your coffee gets cold!"
"Get me some of those cold tea that got popular then."
He walked away from the crowd and made his way towards the hospital, his heart beating faster with each step.
Please help me brother...I want to learn it from you.
What I have become