"Miss... excuse me, can I borrow your bath towel? I'm so cold... so cold!"
Stalking—because this was a traditional Japanese prank show, the camera crew still employed a combination of secret filming and chest-mounted cameras.
With everything ready, Takahashi Aina, being the professional she was, slipped through the crowd and eventually targeted two teenage girls playing alone in the shallow water area. She followed them to a quiet, secluded spot before making her move!
"Hmm? You can get towels over there... wait, blood?!"
"Kyaa..."
Turning around simultaneously, the two girls were indeed startled the moment they saw Takahashi Aina. However, their screams, which had just risen by two octaves, cut off abruptly before reaching their peak.
Staring intently into the "female ghost's" eyes, the girl holding a camera hesitated for two seconds, tapped her cheek, and said in realization, "Ah! I remember now! Aren't you Miss Aina?"
"Eh?"
Now it was Takahashi Aina's turn to be stunned. Since she'd been recognized by fans, the act clearly couldn't continue. However, filming footage of being recognized by fans wasn't a bad alternative!
Thinking this, she brushed back her soaked hair, playfully bit down on the blood packet to spit some out, and said, "I got caught, huh? Not a great start. Are you girls my fans?"
"Perfect!!!"
Over at the camera crew's side, Oshima Keiko pumped her fist hard as she watched the screen. She seemed even more excited now that Aina had successfully salvaged the scene.
This was the "kitchen power" of a solo stan—even if she wasn't right next to her idol, even if she was just admiring her from afar, she had to express her love with the most exaggerated body language!
However, in the eyes of everyone else...
"Mr. Director, how long has Keiko been like this? Haven't you sent her to the hospital to get her head checked?"
"It can't be helped, Teacher Yu. Keiko joined the agency specifically because she's a stan for Aina. She hasn't been like this for just a day or two around here."
"I see..."
Squatting on the "cold bench" with the director, Miyazawa Yuu watched the crazy woman who had usurped his new director friend's seat, waving the script around and screaming. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
"You guys have it tough too!"
"I'm just happy to hear Teacher Yu say that. But Keiko's planning ability is actually quite good. She's professionally trained, so I feel at ease leaving the organizational work to her."
Also not being professionally trained himself, the old director had no bias against a rising star like Miyazawa Yuu; he only had respect for strength.
Being able to successfully launch the previously featureless Ikegoshi was a feat one could boast about in the industry. Even if it was just good luck, "lucky" planners weren't unheard of in this business.
Except people usually called them "geniuses"—people born with the natural instinct for the job!
"Sorry, even though Aina was the one who invited everyone, we're making you sit here staring at a screen."
"It's fine, because I can guarantee one thing!"
With a deadpan expression, Miyazawa Yuu stared at the two familiar faces on the screen along with all the scumbag guys behind him. He shook his head pityingly. "Because you're about to run into big trouble!"
"You can say that again!"
"Even if a girl who takes an interest in Kohei doesn't have eye problems, her heart must be blind. They won't be that easy to deal with."
Nodding in dark agreement, Chisa and Aina might not have recognized the girls on the screen, but Yamamoto Shinichirou and Nojima Hajime didn't have such poor memories!
Who else could those two girls be but the ones who had hit on Kohei just a few minutes ago!
Chikusho! Talk about a small world. Wasn't hurting their hearts once enough? Did fate have to go for a double kill?
"No way!"
Sure enough, on the other end of the monitor, the girl holding the camera tilted her head with a look of pure confusion. "Why would you say that?"
"But, you recognized me..."
"Ah~ Actually, the one we stan is 'Free Bird Man,' Mr. Ikegoshi! We recognize you, Big Sister, because we saw the Dolphin promotional variety show!"
"Eh?"
Her jubilant movements froze. Oshima Keiko stared blankly at the screen before slamming the planning draft onto the table with a loud thwack.
"What the hell! These two brats are way too un-cute!"
"What did I tell you..."
Crossing his legs with a "just as expected" look, Miyazawa Yuu had already said that planning needs to have an element of "compulsion," otherwise things easily go awry.
Not only was it broad daylight, but the key issue was that while Miss Aina's makeup was scary, her face was too recognizable. Without setting an ambush, it was hard to get variety-show results like "couples protecting each other" or "every man for himself."
"Tch, that was just the first one. It's not over! Aina, initiate the second ambush draft!"
"Understood."
Letting the two brats go, Takahashi Aina watched them walk away. Aside from a bit of dejection over her "rapidly declining popularity," she didn't feel much else.
However, the show was still recording. Hearing the voice in her earpiece, she forced herself to cheer up, nodded, and ducked into the bushes lining the pool walkway like a Viet Cong scout.
Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long before new prey arrived. Only this time, it seemed there were quite a few of them!
"Come on, don't be shy. Big Sister will take you to a luxury hotel tonight~ (English)"
"H-help, help me..."
With only a high school education, Takahashi Aina couldn't understand English. She simply timed it right and lunged half her body out of the bushes, grabbing a pair of... Doc Martens?
"???"
Although she couldn't understand why someone would wear those at a water park, she followed the procedure, struggling to display her "blood-soaked" chest and the scissors wedged in her cleavage.
This move was called "The Dying One in the Bushes"—combining suddenness and horror, a vivid enactment of the thrill of finding a body that hasn't stopped breathing at a crime scene!
"Oh~ Such a slender Japanese girl. I love her legs, Sister! (English)"
"This must be what they call a 'prank'! I really freaking love Japanese variety shows. Where's the camera? (English)"
Unfortunately, this move was a case of picking the wrong targets. As fierce women who had seen it all in a country without gun bans, the two redheads were flushed with excitement at the sudden "plea for help"!
Letting go of the male companion they had just managed to find, they hauled Takahashi Aina up, ignoring the blood as they started hunting for the camera, clearly eager to be on screen.
And since they were the type of sisters who would both try to "order" Yu alone, their sexual orientation was highly similar to Hamaoka Azusa's. Consequently, their hands weren't exactly clean...
"Kyaa!"
Feeling her butt get a hard squeeze, Takahashi Aina was terrified by the liberated foreign ladies. Flushed and frantic, she clutched her chest and bolted, not even caring that she'd dropped her scissors!
"...Plan C! Use Plan C!"
Having seen everything clearly through the camera, Oshima Keiko punched the table and stubbornly continued trying to change the prank method. However, this act was like opening Pandora's box!
For the next half hour, nothing but shouts echoed from the rest room:
"Why?! I still have Plan D!"
"Listen to me, Plan E will definitely succeed!"
"...I have a temporary idea, Aina, try this..."
...
"This shouldn't be happening!"
With pupils shaking, Oshima Keiko stared at the monitor, her mouth parched. No matter how much water she drank, it didn't help. Finally, a hand grabbed her wrist just as she was reaching for more.
"That's enough. If you drink any more, I'm afraid you'll collapse here before Aina does..."
Using his foot to push away the five or six empty mineral water bottles on the floor, Miyazawa Yuu gently pressed her hands down, signaling for Oshima Keiko to calm down first. Drinking more water wouldn't help!
Besides, these were one-liter large bottles. Chugging this much was a genuine risk for water intoxication.
"But the show... I'm using all the most classic techniques. How can there be zero effect!"
Taking a deep breath, Oshima Keiko pressed one hand to her forehead and reopened her eyes, finally managing to suppress her racing heart.
Although being comforted by an "enemy" was annoying, it was no longer the time to worry about that. She had to come up with a newer, more "variety-rich" prank method immediately!
"Well~ maybe it's because these guys are here, so they're attracting even more weirdos?"
He pointed a thumb at the scumbags behind him. This was the accumulated experience of Miyazawa Yuu's long-term survival in the PaB Club.
Whenever there was one more person from the scumbag group, the surrounding world would become even more saturated with "scumbag energy." He liked to call it the "Scumbag Law of Combining Like Terms"!
"Ha? How is that possible..."
"So, does Keiko-chan want to keep insisting? This show is very important to Aina, right? Methods are always more plentiful when you brainstorm."
Pulling over a chair to sit in front of the monitor, Miyazawa Yuu was already starting to take action even as he "asked" for permission.
Fortunately, during his long high school career, he had learned a bit about film set management. Taking over a fully synchronized filming crew now was effortless.
As for the planning draft...
His gaze swept over the screens displaying fixed cameras. As a scumbag, "bullying the weak" was his specialty!
"Kohei! Aina! Get ready to head out! Yamamoto, Nojima, stand by!"
"OK! Leave it to us!"