"Sorry, I lost my composure..."
The ticket girl regretted it the instant that scream left her throat, clutching her head in her hands.
Even though the Nojima in front of her was indeed a freak, a customer was still a customer. If she annoyed him and got reported to her supervisor, she'd be in deep trouble!
However, her only consolation was that despite the judging stares of the surrounding crowd toward a guy carrying a named doll, Nojima Hajime didn't bat an eye. He showed no intention of seeking retaliation due to embarrassment.
"It's fine. I've long grown weary of the eyes of the secular world. My only dream now is to enjoy this water park once with Elena."
He let out a soft chuckle. Mere misunderstanding meant nothing; as a man, Nojima Hajime had long since prepared himself to be the enemy of the entire world.
Today, even if his parents showed up, the doll in his hand was his lover—the college girl Elena who had freed him from his virginity!
Therefore...
"Beautiful ticket lady, we should be able to enjoy the couples' discount, right?"
"Please, I beg you, do not throw winks at other women in front of Miss Elena. Please! The most important thing for a man is to be faithful!"
Nearly vomiting from Nojima's suggestive wink, the ticket girl clutched her heart and took a long moment to recover before painfully raising her head to look at Elena again.
She was now incredibly grateful that this guy hadn't gone to the window next door; otherwise, the fifty-year-old ticket auntie there might have died in the line of duty.
Having endured so much for the company, she felt she truly deserved a promotion and a raise as a reward!
"Hmm~ Is the lady shy? It's okay, Elena is very broad-minded..."
"Please, stop talking!"
Extending a hand to block the distance between herself and the pervert, the ticket girl's gaze lingered on the phone in the booth.
According to the rules and regulations, when encountering strange individuals or special requests, she should communicate with a supervisor and wait for them to handle it.
However, seeing that the guests behind him in line were already getting restless, she gritted her teeth, locked eyes deeply with Nojima Hajime, and forced out the familiar procedural requirement—
"No problem! Miss Elena's ticket is on me. Now, the two of you just need to perform one 'True Love's Kiss' and that'll be enough."
"OK! No problem at all!"
Without any pressure, Nojima Hajime kissed the doll's face and broke into a bright, sunny smile—the kind unique to scumbags—as he reached out to take the ticket from the girl.
Except...
"Um, Sir, our regulation is that it must be a kiss like this. Do you think you could do it one more time? Otherwise, I won't be able to account for it to my superiors~"
Without moving, the ticket girl tentatively tapped her index fingers together, then gave a bitter smile and pointed at the surveillance camera above her head.
"The back office registers the couples' tickets here. If we let you through without the kiss, even if Miss Elena were a real person, I'd get scolded!"
"Hmm?"
His toothy grin froze on his face. Nojima Hajime let out a confused sound and looked at the window in hindsight—this wasn't right? Didn't Iori and the others say a cheek kiss was fine? Those guys lied!
But on second thought, he pushed up his glasses and nodded in understanding. After all, the ticket girl had her difficulties too.
Even if his behavior looked nonsensical, he could still tell the difference between a doll and a person. Since she had already cut him some slack, he should abide by the system...
Thinking of this, Nojima Hajime looked at his lover Elena, but then he realized a critical problem!
"Here, take these!"
Pulling a wet wipe from her pocket, the ticket girl looked at the massive footprint on Elena's "cherry-blossom lips," stifling a laugh as she turned her head away and handed the wipe to Nojima.
"You can use this to wipe the surface stains, but as for the inside..."
"Th-thank you?"
Stiffly accepting the wet wipe, his gaze remained fixed on Elena's flaming red lips. Cold sweat ran down Nojima's neck, passing over his bobbing Adam's apple.
He was currently facing a problem of the century: After the last time he used Elena, had he washed her?!
That's right! Generally speaking, a doll like this had an upper and a lower hole; of course, the possibility of a third hole wasn't ruled out.
But whether it was top, bottom, or back, as long as it was a hole, it could basically be used! Unfortunately, Nojima did not remember if he had carefully scrubbed the top hole after last using it.
Furthermore, even if it had been scrubbed, kissing this kind of thing was basically asking for "illness to enter through the mouth"!
"Um... is there really no other discount method?"
"I'm very sorry, we don't provide other packages at the moment..."
"I see... Close your eyes!"
With that command, not just the ticket girl, but the entire circle of bystanders who could hear him tightly covered their eyes!
In the darkness, the smooth sound of silicone being kissed rang out, sounding like a divine death knell tolling before mortals—"Mwah~"
"It's done. Is this okay now?"
Half a minute later, under Nojima's lifeless voice, the ticket girl slowly opened her eyes.
The pervert who had been full of life just a moment ago was now like the arch-traitor Qin Hui turned into the arch-traitor Nojima—he had completely lost all vital energy!
Even Elena had deflated like a leak; it looked like she wasn't very willing either...
"N-no problem. This is your couple ticket, please take it!"
Mechanically taking the receipt, Nojima Hajime wobbled through the gate. With every step he took, the rising morning sun seemed to be gradually painted with the atmosphere of a sun setting in the west.
"Actually, when you think about it, we aren't that miserable?"
"...True. Let's give Yu a pass."
Stopping at the same time, Yoshiwara Aina and Kotegawa Chisa felt that they were actually quite happy by comparison. Being shyly kissed once was nothing worth mentioning.
Escaping from Chisa's hands, Miyazawa Yuu breathed a sigh of relief and proactively ran over to "capture" Nojima.
"How was it? Simple, right~ Nojima, even you have a day like this!"
"Forget it, forget it~ I believe that if Elena has a soul and knows she was treated so tenderly, she'll be very happy!"
"ALL OF YOU JUST GO DIE!"
With a thwack, he threw his girlfriend onto the ground. Facing the ridicule of Iori and Kohei, raging fires erupted from scumbag Nojima's facial features!
Rushing in front of Yu with a dark face, he snatched the utility knife. He straddled Elena's waist with his legs and sat on her, gripping the knife handle with both hands, a fierce glint flashing in his eyes as he raised the blade high!
But in just an instant, beautiful memories of the two of them together flashed before his eyes. He threw the knife down while weeping and reached for the air valve.
"Hiss—!"
As the air was released, Elena completely lost all signs of life. One could only wonder when Nojima, who likely now had a psychological shadow, would put her back into service...
"...Elena is so pitiful, actually ending up with a scumbag like Nojima!"
"Exactly, throwing her away after using her is just heartless!"
"You two, act like humans for once. Though it is indeed an irrefutable fact. Let's just call him 'Scumbag Nojima' from now on to commemorate Elena!"
Three men walking together—it turned out that finding a common enemy was indeed the best way to unite. Iori and Kohei, who had been shouting for blood just moments ago, instantly forgave Yu.
Standing in a row, they inhumanely bestowed a new crown upon Nojima, who had just lost his beloved "wife." The ladies all cast looks of disgust at their respective men; even Nanaka was no exception.
"Ah! By the way, how are Yamamoto and the other guy getting in? They've been playing missing since a while ago, who knows what they went off to do?"
"Regarding that..."
Sitting on the ground in a "duck sit" position, Nojima Hajime sniffled and turned to the PaB group of six while sobbing: "That guy Yamamoto, in order to sneak in, got a middle school girl's outfit and wanted to pretend to be a couple."
"I see, Yamamoto and Fujiwara are pretending to be a couple..."
Miyazawa Yuu froze halfway through his sentence. His eyes went wide as he whipped his head toward the gate, only to see a pale-faced Yamamoto and Fujiwara already walking through the entrance.
And in the hands of Yamamoto—who was wearing a pink dress, had twin ponytails, and carried a bright red leather schoolbag on his back—were two couple tickets!
"Gulp! Those two..."
Terrified, Kitahara Iori swallowed hard. His pupils shrunk to pinpricks, and even his hands couldn't stop trembling from the shock!
Walking over to cover Aina's eyes, Imamura Kohei buried his head in her neck, trying to escape the overly grotesque reality.
"Don't think about it... don't ask. The image is too beautiful!"
"Nanaka-san, the ice cream from earlier is making my stomach hurt. I'm going to the restroom first..."
"Together! Everyone together!"