"Yosh! Since everyone is here, let's get ready to head to the beach! Yu, you guys have fun, okay!"
"Chotto matte!"
After being slapped hundreds of times for no clear reason, Kitahara Iori saw that this group of scumbags was relentless and seemingly intent on sending him to the beach as a sacrificial offering. He desperately broke free from Yamamoto's grip.
Stumbling a few steps to hide behind Kohei, he fixed his sharp gaze on them, his swollen cheeks making his voice muffled and indistinct as he whispered a suggestion: "Kohei! Let's form an alliance! It looks like these scumbags aren't going to let us off!"
"Eh? What are you saying, Iori? These guys have absolutely nothing to do with me, right~"
Leaning his head back with a disdainful smile, Imamura Kohei wasn't about to be fooled by Iori's act. He had no intention of getting dragged into the "love-hate" dynamic of the Scumbag Squad.
One had to remember that Aina in her "Cakey Beast" form was at a level where even scumbags wouldn't dare lay a hand on her. Therefore, as long as Aina didn't take off her makeup, he was safe forever!
Furthermore...
He turned around, his face darkening as two points of red light flickered in his eyes. Amidst Iori's terrified head-shaking, he smirked and grabbed the other's perfectly squeezable cheek, syllable by syllable.
"You're the bastard who lured the scumbags here, aren't you! You reaped what you sowed; now sit tight and wait for the judgment of fate!"
"Kohei!!! Even if you don't care about me, Chisa is all alone and quite pitiful. Aren't we comrades?!"
"Bullshit! I don't have comrades who sell out intel! Yosh, you guys hurry up and take this bastard away!"
Nothing worked! To ensure today's itinerary remained undisturbed, Imamura Kohei turned his back to the Scumbag Squad and crooked two fingers, signaling them to finish Iori off quickly.
A guy like this living was a sign of disrespect to Mother Earth; better to annihilate him quickly!
"No problem! Yamamoto, you deal with Iori. Fujiwara, Kohei is yours~"
Letting the traitor engage in secret communication for so long was already Nojima's final act of mercy!
Stepping forward to block the two ladies, he flashed a wicked smile and threw a wink at Chisa and... the Corpse Beast respectively, acting as the first line of defense!
"...Blegh!"
She had originally intended to save Iori, but before Kotegawa Chisa could even take a step, she was so revolted by Nojima's wink that she couldn't hold it back. She could only run to the edge of the flowerbed and dry heave repeatedly.
It couldn't be helped; a creature like Nojima was already famous for being wretched, and combined with his terrible fashion sense, he was practically mental pollution to any normal woman.
Aina felt the same way. Her small face was pained as she crouched next to Chisa, her oversized red lips gaping. Although her heart belonged to Kohei, she couldn't withstand the disgusting beams radiating from Nojima!
Except...
"Blegh, I can't take it, so gross!"
"Wait! Why are you over here puking too?!"
Yoshiwara Aina stared wide-eyed at the scumbag Nojima, who was crouching on the other side of Chisa covering his mouth. She felt like she had taken critical mental damage. Was this guy intentionally trying to gross her out?
"Sorry..."
Raising a hand to block his view of Aina, Nojima Hajime trembled weakly, two tears falling from his cheeks and splashing into the flowerbed—
"Because I did something my heart really didn't want to do, my stomach is protesting..."
"Then don't do it in the first place! Also, just how much do you look down on the Cakey Beast! Apologize to the heavy makeup right now!"
Meanwhile, on the other side, the arrogant posture of waiting with crossed arms for judgment to fall on Iori froze in place.
Slowly turning around, Imamura Kohei looked in disbelief at Yamamoto and Fujiwara, the two scumbags who were slowly closing in. He let out a question from his very soul.
"Wait? Me too?!"
"Well~ we're a bit sorry, but thinking about how Kohei might get to first base before us 'outstanding youths' even if he's truly starving... it's just really irritating..."
Nodding seriously, a scumbag is a scumbag because their heart is too narrow!
Therefore, even if Kohei got a kiss one step ahead of them, it was an unbearable weight of life for Yamamoto—a man ordained by the gods as a perpetual virgin. Thus, the possibility had to be nipped in the bud!
"By the time a bastard like you gets to first base, the world will have already ended! Besides, that's just a Cakey Beast! There's no way you guys could like that!"
"Bastard Kohei! I can hear you, you know!"
Teary-eyed, Yoshiwara Aina whipped her head back and waved her arms indignantly. What did he mean by "just a Cakey Beast"? That was way too much!
"Tch, wolves in front and tigers behind, huh? In that case..."
His gaze instantly shifted away from Yamamoto. Facing the current perilous situation, Imamura Kohei's brain processed for two seconds before arriving at the most effective solution!
Screech—
"Yu, please kill these scumbags, and take Iori with them!"
"Eh? You actually remembered me, you really have a nerve..."
Watching Kohei perform a sliding dogeza in front of him, Miyazawa Yuu had an expression of total annoyance. He should handle this kind of trouble himself!
Besides, didn't they see he was right in the middle of enjoying the show! What was he supposed to do with the popcorn he just bought if he couldn't finish it!
"Please! These guys aren't beings you can reason with. At least do it for Aina's sake!"
"I really can't deal with you~"
He tossed back two more pieces of popcorn and dumped the rest into Nanaka's arms. For Aina's sake, Miyazawa Yuu had no choice but to stretch his arms and step into the fray.
"!!!"
His long hair stood on end instantly. Sensing his brother was in trouble, Nojima Hajime's eyes sharpened. Under Chisa's gaze, he performed a triple-and-a-half mid-air spin and landed right in front of Yamamoto and Fujiwara.
The battle situation instantly escalated from two-on-two to three-on-three, though the Scumbag Squad was clearly lacking in combat power.
With his body covered in large patches of Araki-esque muscle lines under the sunlight, Nojima Hajime knew his side was at a disadvantage. Thus, he switched tactics and activated the "Talk-no-Jutsu" unique to protagonists—
"Wait! Yu, think carefully. If these two guys, Iori and Kohei, succeed, our revolutionary friendship is over!"
"Exactly! One person betraying the revolution—you—is enough! Are you really going to drive us to extinction, you bastard?!"
"I say, you guys, when did our Scumbag Squad's motto become 'single for life'? Instead of obstructing others, the correct answer is to think about how to find a girlfriend, right?"
Extending a finger, Miyazawa Yuu sighed and pierced the heart of the issue with pinpoint accuracy—the Scumbag Squad was never an FFF Inquisition group; they were a base for loser science students.
Their hunting of couples was entirely based on the principle of "not fearing scarcity, but fearing inequality." Just like how he had double girlfriends but was still a scumbag, right?
However, faced with such a serious interpretation, the scumbags of the Scumbag Squad clearly didn't appreciate it!
"Easy for you to say! You bastard, tell us then, how are we supposed to find girlfriends?!"
"Exactly! Die, you guy who grazes on the grass near his own nest!"
"Hiss... that's a stinging accusation."
His gaze toward the scumbags immediately became unfriendly. Although they were telling the truth, Miyazawa Yuu hated such stinging truths!
What was wrong with grazing near the nest? He had moved his nest all the way from Tokyo to here just so he could eat a few mouthfuls of fresh grass to comfort his empty spiritual world.
"In any case..."
Displaying the bulging veins on his hands, he "teleported" behind Nojima with a "kindly" aura and gently put both him and Yamamoto in a chokehold—
"This water park is a high-end venue. The quality of the girls coming here to play is super high~ You guys just haven't had enough contact with girls. You have to cast a wide net to catch the big fish!"
"Hmm? That actually sounds quite reasonable..."
"B-bastard Fujiwara, help us out first! You can't even walk when you hear about girls; are you a virgin..."
They couldn't breathe anymore. As expected, Yu just loved using violence. However, Yamamoto and Nojima were actually a bit tempted.
After all, just as Miyazawa Yuu said, this water park had a high positioning, and the number of high-quality women was countless.
In school, no one could see their charm, but out in society, maybe some older sisters would like their "youthful puppy" type!
"Let go, Yuu! We'll temporarily spare Kohei and Iori's lives, okay?!"
"Yosh~ then it's a happy deal. But you guys traveled so far, do you still have money? The price of a single ticket is a real pain."
"Regarding that, to prevent you guys from running in first..."
Regaining his freedom, Nojima Hajime took a few deep breaths, marvelling at the beauty of the world. He then turned around under Miyazawa Yuu's strange gaze and pulled a bundled-up plastic object from his backpack.
Tilting his head for a long time without understanding what the kid was trying to do, Miyazawa Yuu, fearing he might do something reckless, offered a friendly reminder: "Uh, Nojima, although there's a beach area here, there's a very long stretch of barrier netting."
"Eh? Why mention that?"
"Small kayaks in the deep-water zone can't reach the shore because of rip currents. Don't go getting yourself killed, I'm saying!"
"Ah~ thanks for the concern, but..."
Finding the air valve in the plastic, Nojima Hajime puffed out his chest and blew hard for two minutes. The previously loose plastic object quickly took shape under the air pressure.
Pitch-black long hair, snow-white skin, and red lips even more exaggerated than Aina's—a humanoid creature appeared!
"Look, now I have a girlfriend, right!"
"What a great idea... LIKE HELL IT IS!"
Miyazawa Yuu's foot flew out and kicked the humanoid creature's puckered lips. Under the terrified stares and pointing of bystanders, he flew into a rage, grabbing a utility knife, intent on popping the piece of junk that had triggered his uncanny valley response.
"Keep that 'discreet shipping' stuff away from me!"
"No! Not my darling!"