"UFO Nobbu, Shinsengumi Nobbu—you're on scouting duty! Head out and see if there are any nasties lurking about, alright?"
『『Nobbu!』』
"Tank Nobbu, Big Nobbu—you're on perimeter guard. I'm counting on you!"
『『Nooobbu!』』
"Right. Thanks, everyone! This is a weird pocket of spacetime, but if we all work together, we can pull through!"
『『『『『NOBBUUU!!!』』』』』
"I say... since when did the King of Heroes become the guardian of such a ridiculously sparkly princess?" Nobunaga squinted, gesturing toward the pair.
"It's only natural you wouldn't know, Nobbu! This lady right here is the unsung MVP—the Heroic Princess who pushed the King of Heroes into 'cheat character' territory!"
"A Heroic Princess?! What the—that sounds like a total scam! She looks all soft and fluffy! It's not fair! Hey, you want to trade her for my Demon King title?"
"I—I'm honored, truly," the girl stammered, "but I don't know if I could survive the Warring States. I could never hope to lead a life as brilliant and daring as yours, Lord Oda..."
"Is she an angel?! Is she the physical embodiment of wabi-sabi?!" Nobu cried.
(Well, obviously,) a voice whispered in the background.
"Everyone, please, make yourselves at home," the girl continued. "Let's give it our all... at doing absolutely nothing!"
"I've never seen anyone take a 'Gudaguda' event so seriously," Nobu muttered.
"You okay with this, Hijji?"
"I don't give a damn," Hijikata replied gruffly. "We're here to talk heart-to-heart. That's how you've always done things to save the world, isn't it?"
"...Yeah!"
"Oh, by the way," Nobu interjected, "I've been meaning to ask: Shana-shana, what's your Divinity rank?"
—It was B, wasn't it, King of Heroes?
"In my case, yes. But as for you... since you harbor no particular hatred for the gods, you would likely clock in at a maximum of A+. ...Not that it's something I'd particularly praise."
"She says it's A+!"
"Whoa! Right, you'd better stay on my side then! Also, when I get serious, you should probably stand way back!"
"? O-Okay!"
『『『NOBBU!!』』』
"Wait, 'We shall protect the Princess'? What is this, a fan club rally?!" Nobu barked at the mini-clones. "I'm a Level 1, zero-point-five-star weakling now, and you're just gonna ignore me? Huh?!"
『『『NOBBUUU!!』』』
"'We fight for the only one who looked out for us in that place'... Why are you lot acting all chivalrous all of a sudden?!"
"This is simply the Princess's way! She accepts you softly, acknowledges you warmly, and stays by your side gently—she is the avatar of kindness! I call it 'Precious Power'! Even the bloodstained halls of Chaldea find peace the moment Shana speaks!"
"Everyone has been so kind to me," the girl said, her eyes shining. "I feel nothing but gratitude, respect, and joy to be able to interact with you all. Lord Nobunaga, I truly believe you'll sign a formal contract with the Master and come visit us in Chaldea for real. I'll do my best to make it happen!"
『『『Nobbu... (Ascending)』』』
"Gwaaah! The Nobbus are fading away into the light! Well, I guess I can't blame 'em... Even gag characters can't resist that level of pure respect and sincerity. It's like someone took a mangy monkey and bleached his soul white. ...Wait, I know this trope. This is where the girl acts all 'Oh, it's so hard being popular,' while sending men to their deaths on impossible errands..."
"That's Kaguya-hime!"
"Wahahaha! You've got a mean comedy routine too! King of Heroes, I didn't know you were so good at parenting!"
"The parenting is currently a work in progress. Dealing with the likes of you is child's play by comparison."
(So wholesome...)
"Are you eating proper meals? Pickled radish is good for the soul," Hijikata added.
"Hijji! Pickled radish is not a balanced meal!"
Gudaguda Meteor Okehazama!
"The Imperial Capital Holy Grail?"
As the sun began to set over the fields, Nobunaga—who was currently in such high spirits she was performing a strange little dance—uttered a phrase that made everyone stop and listen.
"Yeah, that. The Holy Grail Battle Royale going on in our world. I was right in the middle of a ruthless, 'kill-or-be-killed' war with no honor among thieves... but..."
"Ah, I believe another 'me' was participating in that as well," Okita noted. "And? Let me guess. You faced me and suffered a pathetic, regretful defeat? Poor little Nobbu?"
"Eh? I shot you dead, obviously."
"ME—?!!?" Okita stood frozen, face pale at the sudden revelation of her own mortality.
"Actually, I killed everyone! I finally had something worth working for!"
"No, no, no, no! Don't just brush it off like that! There's no way all your opponents were that easy?!"
"Hm? It doesn't matter who the opponent is."
(Flashback)
"Enjoying your daily lives without me, are you?! Just you watch, Okita! I'm gonna stuff you into a tea bowl, blow you sky-high, and hang you from the castle as a warning!!"
"Nobbu!!"
"What?! I'm trying to figure out how to get invited to Chaldea— Wait! I see! I see it now!! The Master... saved the world!!"
"Nobbu!!"
"As expected of Chaldea's finest! In that case, I can't afford to just sit around moping! I love being lazy, but I can't stand being useless—!"
"So, I opened with a Three-Line Formation volley, hit 'em from behind with another volley, and then third-partied the survivors with a final volley. I slaughtered every last one of them and claimed the Grail. Nobbu Victory!!"
"Stop stealing my lines! Wait, really?! You actually won?!"
There was no lie in Nobunaga's words. The sheer absurdity of the current situation was proof enough that the Holy Grail's power was involved.
—You won a Holy Grail War... just because you wanted to come to Chaldea?!
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