CHAPTER 5
By the time I got home, it was already 5:30 pm. I walked straight to the dining table beside the kitchen and dumped all my bags. I was exhausted—shopping wasn't easy, especially without Stella to help. It felt awful.
A quick mental calculation reminded me that tomorrow was the girls' hangout.
"I've had a rough week, and now my weekend is gone too," I thought, fighting the urge to cry.
School officially closed at 3:00 pm, but I'd had to drop Stella off again—something that was starting to feel weird. Normally, she'd cuddle with me till 6 pm before going home. I made a mental note to ask her about it later.
Afterward, I went grocery shopping—we barely had anything left in the fridge—and then to the bookstore because I was running low on books to read.
The lights were off, which meant that Dad wasn't back from work yet. I wasn't surprised. The man loves his job—and it only got worse after Mom died.
I was only eight when Mom passed, just a few months after my grand birthday party. That day is unforgettable. Well, Mom's death is unforgettable too.
The difference is that one memory makes my heart beat with joy, while the other feels like a thousand needles piercing through it.
I hate thinking about Mom's death—not that I remember much. All I know is that somehow, it's my fault. No matter what I do, I can never forgive myself.
Thinking about all this made me miss my babies. I grabbed my iPad from the school bag resting at the couch's feet and dialed Elle on Skype. She picked up immediately, just like I expected.
"Hi sis! Hi sis! I miss you so, so much!" she exclaimed, her excitement like we hadn't spoken just yesterday morning.
"I miss you much more, Elle," I said, laughing at her cute pout that highlighted her chocolate-brown eyes and milky skin. We shared the same skin tone—genes from Mom, I think.
"So, what have you been up to? How's school?" I asked, as we always did when we talked.
Skype was our lifeline except during holidays.
"Well, Annie's coming over today—her parents are out of town again. I had a math test today, and it went well."
"Is that all?" I grinned, knowing there was more.
"Okay, okay. There's a boy in my class. I think he's cute and brilliant—just like me."
"A crush, huh? Does Ellem know?"
"Nope. He's way too protective. He'd scare the poor guy away before I even get a chance."
I laughed, knowing she was right.
"Well, he's just doing his job. You know, protecting you."
"As if he can even protect himself," she groaned.
"Elle, where's your brother?"
"Oh! Ellem is hanging out with his buddies."
"By buddies, you mean his paints and brushes, right?"
My comment earned me a frown. She looked upset about Ellem's new hobby. "Amy, Em doesn't hang out with me anymore, and I'm really upset with him." She twirled a strand of her brown hair, which she got from Dad.
"You know, you look ugly when you frown, right?"
"I know, but the same goes for you, too."
I laughed at her teasing. "Sorry about Ellem's hobby, but cut him some slack, princess. You know how he is. Just tell him you miss him, and he'll make time for you."
"Okay… I will. How's Dad? Oh, and Stella too?"
"Well, all's good with Dad, but he's not back from work yet. And I got into trouble last week—I have to visit Aunt Motara as punishment," I said with a sigh.
"Oops, too bad for you. What's your problem with Aunt, anyway? She's so sweet to Ellem and me."
"I have no idea, but I'm not willing to find out. I have a feeling I won't like it."
"Maybe you guys were arch-enemies in a past life," she said, scrunching her face as if seriously considering it.
"Well, if that's the case, then I think I should be the one hating on her, not the other way around. Don't you think? I'm such a sweet soul."
She did a dramatic eye roll that was supposed to be annoying, but only made her cuter.
"Amy!, you're only sweet to people you adore—like me, Ellem, Dad, and Stella. You just don't like mingling with new people. But yes, I agree she'll probably offend you more than you offend her."
"I guess I just have to visit her and figure out what's wrong. Elle, I still have to cook dinner, so I've got to go now."
She made a sad face—the one I hated seeing.
I had seen enough of such faces when we were all grieving, not that we ever really stopped, but things are better now. And I promised myself to be the best big sister in the world, and honestly, I don't know if I'm killing the role, but I do know that Elle and Ellem are proud of me, and that's enough for me.
I frowned in return.
"Don't make such faces. I'll call you tomorrow morning, I promise — make sure Ellem's on the call too."
She just nodded in understanding, and for a few moments, we stared at each other before I adamantly ended the call.
I made my way to the kitchen to start cooking dinner. I was quite tired, so I chose to make stir-fried pasta — easy, quick, and I already had a sauce waiting in the fridge.
It was my to-go food when I was too lazy to make anything serious and too tired of eating cereal. As I got busy in the kitchen, my eyes kept drifting to my phone to see if I got a text or call from the person I was eagerly waiting for.
A sigh escaped my lips for the umpteenth time as my black slumped against the kitchen counter. I wondered if maybe I had really scared the person away. Could it be that she was not going to help me anymore? I whispered into the wind as my chest suddenly felt tight,
I was genuinely panicking at the thought. It would be disastrous.